In Coruña - Part I

[Rubix]

[COLOR=White]Note From The Author
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[/COLOR] [COLOR=White]Hey, hey, my first story on TheEvolutionForum! Hope you enjoy this first part (even if there is no growth in it, hope you like Shaun! ) and please comment with your opinions so the next parts can be more appealing. Oh, and sorry about the Spanish, it just makes it seem more authentic. It shouldn't be hard to translate (i.e. GOOGLE!!!).
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[/COLOR] [COLOR=White]Look forward to Part II! ~ Darren[/COLOR][COLOR=White]


[/COLOR] [COLOR=White]In Coruña - 'A Fated Meeting'
[/COLOR][COLOR=White]

[/COLOR] [COLOR=White]BING! BONG![/COLOR][COLOR=White]
[/COLOR] [COLOR=White]“Lamentamos anunciar que el tren de once menos diecisiete a Coruña desafortunadamente haya sido retrasado debido a la falta de motor. Pedimos que nuestros pasajeros sean pacientes mientras que se realiza el trabajo de la reparación. Nos disculpamos por la inconveniencia.”[/COLOR][COLOR=White]
[/COLOR] [COLOR=White]“Fuck this,” muttered Liam darkly as he picked up his bag from beside his seat and walked towards the pulsing mob of passengers surrounding the information booth. A tirade of insults and complaints washed over the sea of people, mostly in rapid Spanish that failed to make an impression on Liam, but the occasional “Fuck you” reached him that made him somehow even more frustrated. Really, how was it any fault of the scared looking Mexican sat behind the desk, visually convulsing with fear and managing to stammer an answer to one in ten complaints?[/COLOR][COLOR=White]
[/COLOR] [COLOR=White]“Lo siento, lo siento, preocuparmos tambien, pero tentativais de permanecer tranquilo, por favour...”[/COLOR][COLOR=White]
[/COLOR] [COLOR=White]“Yeah, this is bullshit, buddy. I’ve got a meeting in Coruña at twenty to one; how am I supposed to get there now?”[/COLOR][COLOR=White]
[/COLOR] [COLOR=White]“Lo siento, lo siento...”[/COLOR][COLOR=White]
[/COLOR] [COLOR=White]Deciding to waste no more of his time on the useless (now sweating) clerk, Liam swung his bag over his shoulder and made his way over to the cafe nearby, as he found that a bite to eat often calmed his nerves when under stress. This, however, turned out to be a bad move on his part, as the cafe was also swarming with angry people shrieking down their earpieces and crying children (and adults) filled the air with the unmistakable sound of pent up fury. Sweeping his fringe away from his eye, Liam sat at the only empty table (wielding a suspicious white stain on its surface) and took out his mobile, planning to call ahead to the office and explain the predicament. However, noticing the message icon flashing up at him, he took a detour to his inbox and froze:[/COLOR][COLOR=White]

Sender: CRAIG
[/COLOR] [COLOR=White]Hey, hey, make sure you call me when you get this, I want to say goodbye before you fly off to Spain. OMG, I’m so jealous! If you come back with a tan, boy, I’ll make sure I give you a reward! Craig xxx[/COLOR][COLOR=White]

[/COLOR] [COLOR=White]Liam took one fleeting look at the message and then pressed the delete icon without a second thought. He’d broken up with Craig a month beforehand, but the wiry young waiter had carried on sending texts, e-mails, naked pictures, calling in the middle of the night, leaving random flowers in every hotel Liam stayed at. He’d even sent in a message to a radio station confessing his undying love for Liam, who’d decided that enough was enough and had a restraining order taken out on the desperate stalker. Apparently, though, that wasn’t enough to deter the indomitable Craig, who’d decided that a quick text in pursuit of his prey was worth the entailing risk. God damn it, thought Liam, do I have to get a new phone now? Do I have to move house? Get a new job? A new life? A new...[/COLOR][COLOR=White]
[/COLOR] [COLOR=White]“Excuse me.”[/COLOR][COLOR=White]
[/COLOR] [COLOR=White]“Ah!” Liam exclaimed, jerking out of his internal rant with a sharp jolt that ran through his body, but unlike the movies he managed to maintain his seated position, instead glancing up at the intruder. [/COLOR][COLOR=White]
[/COLOR] [COLOR=White]This time he almost did fall off of his seat. [/COLOR][COLOR=White]
[/COLOR] [COLOR=White]A tall, imposing man was stood a few feet in front of him, gazing down at Liam with the cafe light shining from behind his head, so he appeared as a looming silhouette. His body was incredible! He was wearing a shirt over a T-shirt, but as the front was unbuttoned Liam could clearly see where the T-shirt wrapped itself snugly around the two plates of his chest, and could just see a firm nipple poking through beneath the shirt. Although the shirt’s sleeves were full length, the man had rolled them up to his elbows, fully displaying his powerful forearms striated with veins, and hinting at the power of the almighty bicep hidden within the mound beneath the upper half of the sleeve. Although his wide shoulders and thick chest gave an impression of a gorilla, his posture lent him a powerful grace reminiscent of a lithe jungle cat; sleek and strong. Also springing to Liam’s attention was the inviting bulge protruding from the man’s fly, and it was all that Liam could do to withhold himself from ripping open the trousers for a closer look. Intimidated much?[/COLOR][COLOR=White]
[/COLOR] [COLOR=White]“I’m sorry, I was wondering if this seat was taken? As you can see, this cafe is heaving...”[/COLOR][COLOR=White]
[/COLOR] [COLOR=White]Yes, thought Liam, much like your impressive chest.[/COLOR][COLOR=White]
[/COLOR] [COLOR=White]“... and I really need to send an e-mail forward as soon as I can.”[/COLOR][COLOR=White]
[/COLOR] [COLOR=White]“No, go ahead. Saves one of the fucking natives getting it, right?”[/COLOR][COLOR=White]
[/COLOR] [COLOR=White]The man’s face hardened suddenly, and his eyes became cold.[/COLOR][COLOR=White]
[/COLOR] [COLOR=White]“I’m native to Coruña.”[/COLOR][COLOR=White]
[/COLOR] [COLOR=White]Shit, thought Liam, I’d assumed that was just a tan. But with the black hair and the fierce blue eyes, maybe...[/COLOR][COLOR=White]
[/COLOR] [COLOR=White]“Just kidding. God, you should have seen your face. Priceless!”[/COLOR][COLOR=White]
[/COLOR] [COLOR=White]With this, the man sat down and pulled out a laptop from his bag, opening it up and setting it down on the surface in one movement.[/COLOR][COLOR=White]
[/COLOR] [COLOR=White]“Name’s Shaun. I’m a fitness instructor for Hollywood actors, supply and demand sort of thing.”[/COLOR][COLOR=White]
[/COLOR] [COLOR=White]“You can tell. Wait, Hollywood? Who are you working with at the moment, then?”[/COLOR][COLOR=White]
[/COLOR] [COLOR=White]Shaun shared a conspiratorial wink with Liam, then leaning forward, lowered his voice to barely a whisper.[/COLOR][COLOR=White]
[/COLOR] [COLOR=White]“Cillian Murphy.”[/COLOR][COLOR=White]
[/COLOR] [COLOR=White]“No way! I can’t imagine him getting buffed up at all! What’s it for?”[/COLOR][COLOR=White]
[/COLOR] [COLOR=White]Shaun looked relieved that Liam was interested, and then started typing as he spoke.[/COLOR][COLOR=White]
[/COLOR] [COLOR=White]“A new action drama film coming out next year. Apparently, he has the role of this champion bull-fighter that everyone adores, but he has a rival who’s insanely jealous and sabotages his act, giving him a career-ending injury. Then, it’s about how the bull-fighter loses himself to alcohol and detaches himself from the world.”[/COLOR][COLOR=White]
[/COLOR] [COLOR=White]Shaun hesitated, before laughing and looking up from his screen.[/COLOR][COLOR=White]
[/COLOR] [COLOR=White]“Sounds shit, right?”[/COLOR][COLOR=White]
[/COLOR] [COLOR=White]“Totally shit. What are they paying you?”[/COLOR][COLOR=White]
[/COLOR] [COLOR=White]“A few thousand dollars, but I’ve also landed a minor role in the film, so it’s not like it’s an outside thing.”[/COLOR][COLOR=White]
[/COLOR] [COLOR=White]Liam was stunned; this guy was an actor? And a fitness instructor? Suddenly, he found himself hoping the train would remain dysfunctional for as long as possible, while he got to know Shaun a little better.[/COLOR][COLOR=White]
[/COLOR] [COLOR=White]“Sorry, here I am doing nothing but talking about myself. Typical American, right? Where’re you from?”[/COLOR][COLOR=White]
[/COLOR] [COLOR=White]Before Liam had even opened his mouth, Shaun cut him off.[/COLOR][COLOR=White]
[/COLOR] [COLOR=White]“No, let me guess, I usually get these right. Hmm, you’re British, right?”[/COLOR][COLOR=White]
[/COLOR] [COLOR=White]“How could you tell?”[/COLOR][COLOR=White]
[/COLOR] [COLOR=White]“Trust me, it’s so obvious just from looking at you. Don’t worry, it’s not a bad thing, it’s just not something that’s easy to hide. I should know, look at me, you were probably twisted inside trying not to laugh when I made that joke about being Spanish!”[/COLOR][COLOR=White]
[/COLOR] [COLOR=White]Yeah, right, thought Liam sarcastically as he gazed into Shaun’s bright eyes, sparkling like sapphires in the light of the radiant moon...[/COLOR][COLOR=White]
[/COLOR] [COLOR=White]BING! BONG![/COLOR][COLOR=White]
[/COLOR] [COLOR=White]“Estamos satisfechos anunciar que el servicio del tren de once menos diecisiete ahora ha reasumido. Todos los pasajeros deben satisfacer hacen su manera a sus asientos, pues el tren se irá pronto. Gracias por su cooperación.”[/COLOR][COLOR=White]
[/COLOR] [COLOR=White]“Alright!” shouted Shaun as he packed away his laptop and rose to his feet rapidly, unintentionally shaking the table with his bulky thighs. “Well, it’s been nice meeting you, Liam, but we’ve both got a train to catch. I hope you have fun in Coruña. See you around.”[/COLOR][COLOR=White]
[/COLOR] [COLOR=White]And with that, the towering behemoth departed from the cafe, leaving a shellshocked Liam sat at the table, lost in thought. After such a surreal meeting, what else could he think about but Shaun’s powerful, muscular frame and the brilliance of his eyes? Realising at once that he was about to miss the train he’d been waiting for, Liam grabbed his bag and chased after Shaun, praying it wouldn’t be the last time he saw him.[/COLOR]

[brawnboy]

i'm liking this setup you've got going, seems like things could get interesting with Shaun... i like!
mmm, not sure about the spanish, though. i mean, i'm ok understanding it, but some other readers might not want to have to paste everything through google - just be careful with that, yeah?
still, i'm excited. keep going!

[mutador]

The spanish in the first sentences is not bad, but there are a few mistakes.

“Lamentamos anunciar que el tren de [COLOR="Red"]las [/COLOR]once menos diecisiete a Coruña desafortunadamente [COLOR="Red"]ha[/COLOR]
sido retrasado debido a [COLOR="Red"]una falla en el[/COLOR] motor. Pedimos que nuestros pasajeros sean pacientes mientras [COLOR="Red"]() [/COLOR]se realiza el trabajo de la reparación. Nos disculpamos por [COLOR="Red"]el inconveniente[/COLOR].”
Maybe you should provide a translation to english in brackets too.

[R Chris Cooper]

Excellent writing! The Spanish - although I do not read Spanish I get the drift. If you are in Spain i would expect an announcement in Spanish. Keep up the good work. I for one am looking for part II.

RCC

[Rubix]

thanks for the feedback, guys. I've already started writing part ii (I'm a bit keen like that), and don't worry, I'm sensing an epic muscle growth chapter coming on!