Review of the Sydney 2010 Fitness Expo

[bigbob111]

The sydney convention centre is a large white eye pleasing structure of modern achitecture, shiny with tinted glass and stainless steel butresses, in contrast to the roach infested sty of my own appartment block with a scenic view of a brick wall, and the windowless offices in which I work.
After being stopped by security at the front entrace, I was asked to show either a visitors pass, or my ID as an industry representative. I told the guards "but I am! I work in a gym" and effectively got in for free, saving $20 admission. Some rentacops are so dumb its not funny anymore.

Amist a maze of stalls and glitzy business reps, huge banners stood tall advertising snake oil supplements, accross the backdrop of the gritted teeth and sweaty brows of celebrity bodybuilders such as Lee Priest, and Ron Coleman. Other lesser known men - though still double the size of a normal man - raomed close by luring their smaller brothers towards high octane discount membership contracts with sports supplement suppliers, promising - no, wait - DEMANDING that their partrons undergo "insane growth", combined with "solid mass gain" (is there any other kind?).

The much sought after rare female bodybuilders were also on show with colour coordinated leaflets and voucher booklets matching their shade of lipstick and eye shadow. They didnt seem that big in real life for some reason....perhaps they were just standing very close to the camera when htey posed for the magazines? I was handed a complementary collection of bodybuilder mags and their material has not changed in 40 years. Still printing multi page adds, and aggressive language patters obviously directed at 16yr old boys aspiring to become the 30yr old ass kicker, built for fighting and f****** as displayed overleaf.

I manged to grap a free teeshirt, some doseages of legal steroids (I secretly hope they are illegal) and a few supplement catalogs, I headed over to the equipment showroom. Multi gyms, home gyms, collapsable gyms, self assembly gyms, gyms so complicated I had no idea what was connected to what, I think I saw a home gym made of wood at one point. The truly bizzare nature of gym equipment designers was apparent, a cast iron mix of mechanical genius with ergonomic dementia. I was stopped by a tremendous 8ft by 3 ft slab on which the patron would lie spread eagled with hands and feet bound in pully grips akin to a sacrificial offering to the dark gods, then jerk and gyrate around in some kind of routing that gives then an "incredible" pump. There were machines for simulating rope climbing, rock climbing, crawling on all fours with adjustable resistance, doing bench press and lat pulldown at the SAME TIME I KID YOU NOT, even an octagonal pulley station, or something, not sure what i was looking at then.

Another trend that has swept through the fitness industry of Australia, the 2nd fattest nation in the world, is the sudden explosion in training courses to turn you, YES YOU! into a bona fide certified lv 3 gym instructor. Often the course materials are delivered online saving the diploma mill many thousands of dollars by not having to construct an actual college or host any actual classes.

Marcus Rahl was there! signing autographs, and posing in photos like a true freak. Perhaps one day people will stop and take photos of me as I casually relax in my chair.....oh well, a man can only dream.

All in all, it was a fun day. Would I have still gone if i coul not get in for free? I suppose I would have, but I dont think I would go to the expense again, when I can see a guy powerlift twice his own weight in Iron 2 days a week for free with my own membership. The athletes in the audience were quite impressive too!

[Mdlftr]

BigBob,

Good review! Sounds a lot like the exhibit hall at the Arnold. I went there 6 years ago, and what you've described sounds like the same thing!

I laughed out loud at your description of the magazines:

" and their material has not changed in 40 years. Still printing multi page adds, and aggressive language patters obviously directed at 16yr old boys aspiring to become the 30yr old ass kicker, built for fighting and f****** as displayed overleaf."

True, very true! They even have the same old pix of "Ahnuld" as if he was the only bodybuilder in existence! Since he now owns "Flex", I suppose he likes to give himself a MASSIVE ego *stroke* by publishing an annual issue all about how studly and gorgeous he is -- as of 40 years ago! 'Time to give it a rest, Arnold!'

Mdlftr

[Shadow69]

did you manage to take any photos of said female bodybuilders

you are right to say that they are real in this country downunder and I find that most shameful

[bigbob111]

Originally Posted by Shadow69

you are right to say that they are real in this country downunder and I find that most shameful

Shamfull that they are real? why so? And unfortunately I didnt have my cam at hand

[Shadow69]

Originally Posted by bigbob111

Shamfull that they are real? why so? And unfortunately I didnt have my cam at hand

whoops

meant to say rare not real

and that's cool
can be a pain carrying those things around all the time