Scared and Unsure

[msllover]

OK. I'm going to start working out. My goal is to build muscle. And I feel like crap.

I HATE working out, not because its hard or uncomfortable (I'm not a fan of laundry either!), but because I feel soooooo naked when I do it. I'm not saying this to give you a mental picture (you'd be disappointed), but rather, I just feel so nude working out. I feel like everyone can see how weak I am. I feel like I am nothing, and that I'll never get there. I feel so emasculated. I feel like I'm drinking something that doesn't agree with me at all, but I LOVE muscle.

Am I the only one that not only has a fear of working out, but also feels such a strong pull to bodybuilders that I get hard just walking into a gym? Needless to say, add the two together, and I'm almost a basket case.

Yet, I have worked out in the past, and I will do it again.... today.

I don't have a clue what I'm doing, and actually sometimes just thinking about it makes me wanna cry. Like being made to jump off the high dive at a pool when I was little. The drop won't kill you, it kinda makes you tough, but God, the anticipation is horrible.

I have no clue what to do, how to lift, or how to do the exersizes or how to strech or anything.

Dieting is another problem, like most men I LOVE FOOD. Granted, I'm eating healthier the past two weeks than I have for the past year.

So, how in the hell do I do this? I'm not a waist of brains, but I have little to no knowlege in this endeavor. This is not uncharted territory. Its feared. Feared to a great deal, yet somehow I'm going to do this.

So first I'm going to buy some work out shoes. I figure something simple and comfy and athletic. I have shorts and I have a shirt/socks, etc.

I know to bring water and to not drink too much before or during. I know to have a decent snack with protein and carbs about 1hr before. I know to build strength and muscle I should lift less reps with more weight. I know that diet is very important but have no clue how to impliment that.

I am so scared, this is an unbelievably uncomfortable path that is a means to and end. But I believe that my fear will soon end once I get used to a gym. What the hell am I doing?

taylor