Key to the Executive Locker Room

[R Chris Cooper]

This story has been removed by the author.

[rocketdog]

Excellent...as always!

[sockins33]

Bro you never dissapoint! that was GREAT!

[Generitrans]

While enjoyable as always, this story felt really disconnected, as though it were originally two separate stories that ended up being meshed together for the heck of it. The transformation in the first part has no relevance at all to the rest of the story, and vice versa, so why was it there at all?

[R Chris Cooper]

Originally Posted by Generitrans

While enjoyable as always, this story felt really disconnected, as though it were originally two separate stories that ended up being meshed together for the heck of it. The transformation in the first part has no relevance at all to the rest of the story, and vice versa, so why was it there at all?

Thanks for your comment. I really appreciate readers like yourself that take the time to give me feedback rather than just tossing the story aside and telling all your friends not to bother reading "that" story.

Let me assure you that this was written as one story. I knew it would be difficult to get the point across that "Beanpole" was slowly being transformed into a super stud by the stuff he stepped in and that reality was changing for him. He was an "also ran" all of his life and the gooey substance turned him into a sports hero/ muscle stud/ super gym owner. Perhaps it was rushed to publication before it's time and perhaps the transition is too quick but it is what it is.

Maybe it would have helped if I made that clear puddle an alien being capable of granting a deep down fantasy that Brian played in his head after watching the Super Bowl.

Thanks for reading
Coop

[Generitrans]

I think it was pretty clear that the stuff was what was doing the transformation. It's just that without either some prior indication that this was a fantasy of his, or some later acknowledgement of his prior existence, there's nothing to tie the two pre- and post-transformation parts of the story together.

Perhaps if the story had begun before he actually got to the locker room there would have been more of a chance to create that sort of connection. The story could be placed in a local gym where he saw a door to an executive locker room and fantasized about what went on behind the door. His interactions with other gymgoers could have given us a bit more character development and history, including his status as an also-ran and his muscle fantasies. Something like that, anyway.

[wimpymuscles]

I think this story is great the way it is. The premise is that the guy stepped in something on the floor. Maybe somebody had some magic formula in their gym bag and it leaked out. Who knows. If it helps the story is posted on Buff Muscles.com with pictures.