Starting Out (any input of anykind is valued)

[tautomer4314]

Hey Everyone,

Beginning editorial note: I am a highly detail oriented person, and I am quite verbose, and am extremely introspective. This will be quite long. In short, I am explaining how I have started training, my concerns with "doing it right", concerns with diet. Overall, trying to voice what I am doing to cross-check and ensure that everything is going swimmingly. In addition trying to vent a few fears that are simply based on uncertainty (and thus are unfounded).


Writing this is partly for cathartic purposes, which is short term, but nevertheless important. The other part is to sort of calm myself. Please bare in mind that I have a bad anxiety disorder (it's well managed) so I can get very worried about things. I am also highly perfectionistic, and constantly worry about doing something "wrong" all the time.

I joined a gym (for the first time ever) this monday. I have been really enjoying it a lot so far! I have absolutely no intention of quitting even in the slightest. Just the sheer physical activity alone does wonders for my mood (which is paramount) and considering my past lifestyle, is very important. Currently I am 6'0 and about 150lbs (maybe a few less). I have never worked out in my life. The most activity I would get is skiing a few dozen times in the winter. I just graduated from college, and did pretty nothing but study, and be sleep-deprived. I also had a horrible diet. Usually eating only once a day, sometimes two. I would hazard my caloric intake on average was hovering around just 1000 (bad, obviously).

Now though, I am working on changing that. The eating will be hard for me because I naturally have a low appetite, and "learned" to ignore hunger. Nevertheless, I am slowly but surely working myself up to 3 meals a day at least for now, and am supplementing this with whey protein shakes in between. I was told I need to have at least 150g of protein a day in order to gain mass, so I am going to try getting to that as best as possible, even if I feel completely bloated/ill from so much food. This comes to a first question. Is it bad to have 3 (apx. 30-40g) protein shakes a day? I was thinking I would do 3 if I can't force food in. I think the diet will come with time, but I want to sort it out ASAP. I feel like I need to rush with everything and start going with this hitting the ground running. Yet, I know you can't rush so it is a delicate balance right now.

As far as training goes, I have been kind of lucky I suppose. I am going to a planet fitness, and there is a trainer there who has been setting up a plan for me. He seems to really know his stuff, and has been showing me how to use the machines properly, what to do each week. He's more or less building me up so I can become self-sufficent (which is what I want asap). The problem is, I don't know if I am doing it all correctly. I have strange motor skills, and I have been told everything is basically a feeling. He will correctly me if I do something wrong, am out of alignment etc. However, I am trying to pay attention very closely to see if I am "cheating" in a workout or not. It's tricky, but I am trying to catch it. The problem is, I don't know how everything is supposed to feel because this is all so knew to me. Beyond the burn, I don't how how to exactly target each muscle as I am supposed to on each machine. Some work fine and are straight forward (bicep, tricep, etc). But stuff like chest, I feel like all I feel is strain in my arms. Thus, leading me to think I am doing it wrong. However I don't how it is supposed to feel, and I have no internal standard to compare to, other then how my arms feel like they are going to fall off (they are horribly underused). Thus, since not all muscles feel as worked as that, I feel like I am doing something incorrectly. However that is not always a reliable standard as I am to understand it correctly.

Right now, my trainer who has been helping me has me doing everything 2 sets of 30 reps (question, is that too high/low), with different weights for different machines (weight varying (with 2 exceptions) from 10-25lbs for upper body stuff, and up to 45 for legs, I am quite weak due to no past activity at all). This does push me to near failure, which I assume is good. I will spare the details of this for now as I am to assume he knows what he's talking about, and is setting this (and editing) it over time. Additionally, I have cardio days in between on different types of equiment to help spread this out and set variance for things. He has told me I will keep within this model for around 8 weeks.

All of this seems great. I enjoy it, I feel great afterwords, and I actually have fun doing it (which is truly a shock to me considering my personality). However, I still have latent fears. I keep feeling like I am doing things wrong (I.e. not perfectly, or just under the bar of what is required). I see no signs of this beyond some unfamiliarity with the sensation of particular exersize motions. Due to being told though that it is a feeling, and there being no start standard (other then the internal ones, which I do not trust), I can not "convince" myself that I am doing this correctly. Thus, will no experience ideal gains from the effort I am putting in (which is quite high, I am an all or nothing person). Additionally, I don't feel like I am going to diet correctly due to my difficulty in eating, even though I am honestly trying to make my limits. There are external financial factors associated with this, which could impede on diet. However I feel like those are surmountable (it is still a stresspoint no less). All of this I feel will go away with time once I get into a rythym. However I must get it down in text in order to begin the smoothing process.

The final fear is something I can not control: genetics. I see varying opinions on what is considered therewithin, and I am in the middle of this. If family is anything to go by; I should be good to go. A first cousin of mine is a professional body builder, and is huge. My father is built very stocky naturally (although I am tall and thin). My mom is naturally built thin, but always has a clear physical strength to her. Many men on both sides of my family are able to quite easily build muscle if they try. This is the only "proof" that I have with my own person. 2 summers ago, I rode my bike everywhere due to lack of a car. I noticed my legs got larger from this. Despite the fact that I was eating only 1000 calories or less a day (I was penny-pinching) has horrible emotional health, and actually lost 15-20 pounds that summer (I went down to 135). I just fear that what if I got a strange recessive genetic factor, and am not made to make gains. I know for a fact that I am not totally doomed because working out will build something. I won't stay a stick.

Much of this is completely unfounded, and based off uncertainty. I simply will not know until I try. I am trying, and I will see changes in a month or two and then can extrapolate from there. It's the dreaded concept of uncertainty that plants fear based off no founding facts at all. By writing this, it will calm. Nevertheless, I want to attempt this as well (as it could possibly produce something solid). I do not know if a baseline photograph will infer any kind of potential, but it is worth a try. This is me now (well, right before I joined the gym, like a day before), and what I look like naturally without any physical activity. I am blessed with good genetics. I just fear they will not translate into building genetics. It is just a fear though. I must get past it, and I am not going to allow it to discourage me even in the slightest.

Alright, well I suppose that is enough. I know I missed a few points here, but no one will notice that. If I realise they are signifigant enough, I will edit this. If anyone has any additional questions or is in need of any clarifications, please do ask! I will provide them. Again, any feedback in any regards will be much apprechiated and valued. Thank you!