We all wish

[maximum360]

New Thread: http://www.musclegrowth.org/forum/sh...ad.php?t=25336

Why, hello there, reader!
This would be my first story ever.
(To be truthful, it's a story starter, I'll continue from here if people like where it's going )

EDIT 2: It's not even 5 hours and this story is double in length! (Don't continue expecting this breakneck pace, though. Part 2 was super special because I totally did not expect the kind of support I got right off the bat on my first-ever post here!)
To find part 2, scroll through the replies until you find it. Thanks

I've been a lurker on this forum for too long, and I suppose I must start somewhere.

Please post honest criticism: this means you promise to trash the story and post rude things and I promise not to read it

(/sarcasm: I do promise to read it, just be nice. Please.)

EDIT::: Wow look at that response to a total newbie! you guys are great. The next part will be posted as a reply HERE, and SOON*! And, I really appreciate hearing whatever it is you have to say. Like it or hate it, please comment!
*(Soon being "I have no idea when but I'm very excited and working on it!")

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My name is Max. I don't have any talent and spend too much time playing D&D. I'm not athletic, and it's a miricle I even managed to bench that 50 lbs in Phys Ed that one day.

I like to tell people that I'm 5' and a half. And when they shoot me that cross-eyed look you're giving me, I just grin and tell them that's 60.5 inches to them; 5' and a half an inch. A real laugh.

So, there's this kid Ron who I've had my eye on for a while. He's the star quarterback on our football team. I don't know anything about football, but that's the important position, right? He's hot. Real hot. He's 5' 8" but built and wide. He has biceps like tree trunks and quads like a house. He wears these foofy hoodies, you know the kind, so you can't see his pecs. But when he's changing, man those are hot! and his abs.... don't even get me started.

-----

"Hey Max, gonna go home and lift juiceboxes tonight or haven't you got there yet?"

"Ha ha, real funny guys. Go put on some man shorts and then we'll talk"

"Oh, so now we're the wise guy, huh?"

I could tell I was just going to get beat up again after PE no matter what I said, so I thought I'd go the whole nine yards: "Wiser than you, Weezer."

This is Harold Winser, but everyone calls him weezer because of the sound he makes when he's out of breath. Of course, being the runningback means that lately he hasn't been as out of breath as I currently was running the mile track.

"Don't you wise-ass me, you little --"

"Hey, Winser, cool it."

That's Ron. Ever since he made the football team he's been sticking up for me when the guys pick on me. I don't know why, but he's always been nicer than the others, and he has much better grades, too. Secretly, I hope he has a thing for me, but I'm far too scrawny to be his type. At least, that's what I think.

[Logan2009]

Hey nice job dude for real! this is definitely a good solid beginning! KEEP GOING!!! haha but for real good job, great start, cant with for em to start groWING! haha...but for real, im already ready for the next part

[Terrylee Long]

Please keep going even if you do not get alot of replies. It has to do with the times we live in. A lot of guys just have a hard enough time keeping things going. When you tell your story please tell us what a person weighs in pounds.
The reason for this it gives our minds something to comprehend with better.
Thanks for writing stories that some of us are not able to do. Remember we all wish to be BIG Hunks of a guy. The bigger the better.

[maximum360]

Wow. Just wow

You know, I was originally just going to post a new part after passing 50 thread views. Being an upstart and all, I was thinking that was already wishful thinking.

But 100+ views? And two very positive responses??

I just hope I can live up to that praise!!!

I'm working on the next part now...

[umlerian49]

Great start! The important thing is to keep writing and get it out there. You'll find a lot of encouragement on this forum.

Building on what Terrylee says, description is everything for this audience, and the more specific the better. Some writers do a really good job of getting the reader's imagination to fill in the blanks, but it's hard to do without a lot of practice. In the mean time, yeah, heights, weights, sizes really help.

Well, get busy!

[maximum360]

Originally Posted by umlerian49

In the mean time, yeah, heights, weights, sizes really help.

Well, get busy!

Well, I don't know how to size people well. Would someone suggest some base measures? I'm guessing 110 or so for max from a friend's weight; no idea about anyone else...

Suggestions?

[MuscleHintz]

How old are these characters? I'm guessing either older middle school or younger high school based on your descriptions. 5'8 isn't particularly tall for an adult, but depending on the actual age of the character it can be more impressive.

Younger characters tend to be more difficult to give a weight to due to the fact that some kids simply grow earlier than others, and the actual speed at which they grow varies from person to person. Because of this, some stories featuring younger characters tend to have an "unrealistic" feel to them because of the bodybuilder-like size given to an otherwise normal kid. There's nothing wrong with these kinds of stories, don't misunderstand. It's a fetish some guys have. Other authors like to make their characters more realistic with height/weight ratios that you might actually see on a real teenager.

It's all up to you, maximum! If you want a base to start from, try reading some other authors and seeing what sizes they use. Often, the best way to improve your skill as a writer is to read in the genre that you wish to specialize in. In this case, the genre is muscle growth

[maximum360]

Part the Second!
Here it is! the not-at-all-long-awaited part 2!
I feel somewhat bad about teasing this story out in such small morsels, but I feel it is necessary to receive feedback at each step of the way.

PS: in case you didn't catch it, I'm looking for feedback.

PSS: In case you need a more blatent request, please post comments! Good or Bad I Want to Hear It!!

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Winser shot Ron a disgusted glance and slowed up behind the rest of the class, presumably sulking. I was more towards the back, but not at the end. Ron was jogging alongside me for the moment, and I couldn't help but take a glance at his shorts. I mean, who wouldn't?

It was just a quick look, but Ron must have caught me peeking because when I had looked up again he had just the faintest of smiles.

This, of course threw me off enough that I tripped over Winser who had just gotten behind me again and who had taken the liberty of 'accidentally' kicking me in the calves as I was running.

"Smell you later, fag-tard," he called back as I tasted rubberized track.

----

It had been going on like this for months. All the footballers would make fun of how out of shape and scrawny I was during PE, and always did their best to make things worse-than-awful for me. And it didn't help that no one else would side with me either. If they did, they could be sure to receive a face full of locker after school or at least when no one else was looking.

That, at least, was beginning to change now that Ron was on the football team. It wasn't that he intimidated anyone, but he did somehow win over the affection of just about everyone since he transferred in three weeks ago.

Teddy Roosevelt might once have said "Speak softly and carry a big stick," but Ron was proof that Teddy might have been a bit off. It seemed to me that it should definitely have been "Speak politely, with the whole audience's attention, and be 250 pounds of rock-solid muscle."

Back in the locker room I was changing out of my gym things and preparing to get to Calculus. I still didn't know what, if anything, Ron was going to say to me about earlier. This was the fifth time this week he had caught me giving him a once-over, and I still couldn't figure out what he thought about it.

I was already out publicly, as if that could reduce my already non-existant social standing, but Ron was another matter. No one had seen him with a girl, but he hadn't been flirting with any guys either. For now, he was a complete mystery.

"Hey, sorry about earlier; I don't know what Harold has against you," said Ron.

I flushed, and tried to hurry with my shirt but ended up putting it on inside out. "Uh, yeah..." was all I could manage in response.

Ron leaned in just a little and murmured, "You're putting your underwear over your pants."

At this, I completely lost it and full-on blushed. I also fell over, knocking back the bench behind me and making an even bigger public fool of myself.

At least my day can only get better from here... right?

Right?

[maximum360]

Originally Posted by MuscleHintz

How old are these characters? I'm guessing either older middle school or younger high school based on your descriptions. 5'8 isn't particularly tall for an adult, but depending on the actual age of the character it can be more impressive.

{......}

It's all up to you, maximum! If you want a base to start from, try reading some other authors and seeing what sizes they use. Often, the best way to improve your skill as a writer is to read in the genre that you wish to specialize in. In this case, the genre is muscle growth

Actually, they're high-school seniors; 18 yr. old. Max is just really short and Ron is supposed to be just under average height. (but built like an ox )

[TemptationIV]

I'm excited for more!

[maximum360]

Originally Posted by TemptationIV

I'm excited for more!

thank you!
If I may ask, what do you like and what doesn't seem right?

It's my first story and I want to get it right