self-confidence

[RonnieRules]

I'm a real skinny guy. I have no muscles at all. Though I'm actually working out for some years now there are no results because I sometimes don't work out for months. Lack of discipline, you know? I just work out because I think I have to, becuase "everybody does".
That's why I don't believe that I will ever have "real" muscles in my life (I eat to little therefore anyway).
However, in the last few months I've been fairly consequent in training. So when I finished my miserable taining for today I noticed for the first time, that my biceps were pumped. I mean, they were still as thin as Big Ron Coleman's finger but I could see that they grew bigger during the work out.
That gave me an unbelivable push of self-confidence. They looked almost "normal big" and I wanted to have them bigger.
That was a strange new feeling to me because I always thought I was that guy who likes watching other guys pumping up but now I can understand why some people want to grow more and more.

Has anybody made a similar experience?

[Jim USA]

Welcome to the club. This is EXACTLY my experience. I got hooked on having my muscles all pumped up and having muscles in general. So workout and eat. My arms went from 15.5" to 17.5" and my weight from 167# to 203#. You too can get bigger. The "Workout so you can Evolve" club is really worth it. Welcome to the club.

[Marco_ukmus]

Yep! Getting a really good pump is always a great confidence boost. It also shows that you have successfully worked and isolated the muscle group if a slight pain and high feeling is present, which it usually is for me. You can actually take supplements to pro-long the experience. I believe any Nitro based product does it, like No2. This is also helps with building muscle. Anyway, I find the bigger i get the more confidence i get.

Anyways, thanks for sharing!

Keep pumping!

Marc

[Buffling]

What makes me crazy, on the confidence front, is the almost-manic cycle of it. I hope I'm not alone in this.

Yes, I have times when I have a great workout and feel a great pump; I may even catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror and call myself a stud.... but for every occasion like this, there's also the one where I think I haven't made any progress, where everyone is bigger and leaner than I am, etc. It's a tough bout to get through, but a few days later it goes full circle again.

What makes it difficult, I think, is that we all wish we could get to our goals faster than is humanly possible. Typically you'll see a difference of one pound a week even though you feel like you're always busting your ass in the gym and taking painstaking measures to feed your body right (when this happens, BTW, I just look at some older body composition numbers so that I am reminded of where I came from... but the negative feelings still happen, regardless). Maybe that's why the stories we find around here are such a getaway from the effort-to-success ratio we face in the real world.

Anyone else find themselves on the "confidence / lack of confidence" rollercoaster?

[hulkmuscle]

As someone who was 135 lbs at 6'1 when I graduated college, I can completely identify. I slowly built my way up to 165-170, and then got my confidence going to push myself up past 200. I've been up, down, all over the map since, trying to find that optimum level. 205, 190, 212, 198, 222. I'm currently between 195-200, feeling lighter than I'd like to be, yet people keep giving me incredible compliments. I'm like, "but I was 220 a couple months ago..."My friends and family tell me I look more muscular than when I was 220, because the muscles stand out more clearly now. Do I still want to go back to 220, and try for past even that? Of course I do, and that's what I have in mind for the near-future, but I wonder if that weight will make me look better (more muscular) or merely bigger (more bloated)? Everyone has their own puzzle to figure out...

Bottom line: keep trying, keep striving. Maybe one day, we'll figure it out.

[ottomun6]

Originally Posted by hulkmuscle

As someone who was 135 lbs at 6'1 when I graduated college, I can completely identify. I slowly built my way up to 165-170, and then got my confidence going to push myself up past 200. I've been up, down, all over the map since, trying to find that optimum level. 205, 190, 212, 198, 222. I'm currently between 195-200, feeling lighter than I'd like to be, yet people keep giving me incredible compliments. I'm like, "but I was 220 a couple months ago..."My friends and family tell me I look more muscular than when I was 220, because the muscles stand out more clearly now. Do I still want to go back to 220, and try for past even that? Of course I do, and that's what I have in mind for the near-future, but I wonder if that weight will make me look better (more muscular) or merely bigger (more bloated)? Everyone has their own puzzle to figure out...

Bottom line: keep trying, keep striving. Maybe one day, we'll figure it out.

Congrats on growing to 222 lbs -that's huge!! But also congrats on growing to the 200 lb "hard muscle" size too (That's 65 lbs of muscle )
It is a double-sided sword, you loose some very hard earned bulk and your muscles look bigger- you pack on more size but loose the "hard muscle" look.
I was VERY thin when I started and it was a major goal to pack on extra weight- even if it cost me my 28" waistline. I think a lot of the guys go by the season. Bulk up for size during the fall, winter and early spring (you are hiding your bod under sweaters and jackets anyway) and then trim down a few pounds for the summer ( t-shirt and shorts season is perfect to show those veins off)
And naturally it wouldn't hurt if you can pack on a couple of pounds of muscle during the summer either . An added reward would be to find that your clothes have gotten tighter from the previous year.
Maybe your next "problem" will be that you will be hard and ripped at 222, then complain that you were bulked at 240 lbs earlier!!

[brent]

RonnieRules, work on your attitude first. Remember that you are a great guy, with a great body. I don't care what the mirror, measuring tape, or scale say: they only tell you where you've been, not where you are going. Get your eating on track next, then stay consistent in your workouts. Attitude could be the most difficult to change, but you really can change it this very minute! Eating is mostly eating something every 2-3 hours, and obviously you are working out, just step it up a notch, and you can totally morph your body!

[Marco_ukmus]

Originally Posted by brent

RonnieRules, work on your attitude first. Remember that you are a great guy, with a great body. I don't care what the mirror, measuring tape, or scale say: they only tell you where you've been, not where you are going. Get your eating on track next, then stay consistent in your workouts. Attitude could be the most difficult to change, but you really can change it this very minute! Eating is mostly eating something every 2-3 hours, and obviously you are working out, just step it up a notch, and you can totally morph your body!

Brent! Spot on! I could not agree more. I believe this is probably arguably the most important message that one can ever give another person looking to build muscle and reach their goals. Forget the weights, the exercises and diet and tape messure, everything! Your attitude is the key to success! You literally have to believe in yourself, and stay positive at ALL times (not always possible granted). Once you got that sorted, obviously, like you said, you have to get your diet right and stick to your exercise regieme, and the results will be there in no time!

Thanks again Brent!

[ethernet_jock]

just as another voice...

RR - Yes - absolutely - every time I have a "good workout" (which is far more often lately than it used to be)... I have that feeling. Every time. Stick with it, work hard, and you never get tired or accustomed to that feeling... never.

Buffing - I can COMPLETELY identify with the high/low attitude cycle phnomenon. completely.... there are days I wonder why I even work out because "I'll never look like that guy, I'll never be able to bench that much and he's only 19!, my arms will never be that big and he's only 17!, etc..." kind of feelings... and there are days where I feel like I'm the biggest stud on the planet. I never have fully understood it - so the question is - what do we do about it other than keep lifting?

[Mdlftr]

Ronnie,

Agree with all the attitude posts here.

It IS hard to stay motivated, but you CAN find your own motivation (not what someone else tells you to feel, but in your own being). What does it for me are positive work out experiences, and the good feelings I get from working out and seeing progress.

I was in 'major mope' mode last year, thinking that all my hard work wasn't getting me anywhere, and that I wasn't making any progress and that I still looked exactly the same..yadda yadda yadda. I found a picture of myself doing a most muscular (crab shot) from 8 years ago, that I had forgotten in a drawer. At the time, I was 6'3" 175-180# and thinking I looked good (up from 170# in college). Now I'm 207# and proportionately bigger all over! I'm not as 'stacked' as I'd like to be, and my "guns" and "wheels" aren't as swole as I'd like, but they are noticably bigger, and I can lift a lot more! You just have to keep on.

You WILL gain size. It just takes time. Keep on for yourself. You'll be glad you did.

Mdlftr

[lewj99]

I can certainly relate to this post and it looks like I'm not the only one...

It definitely took me a while to build up my confidence in the gym. The first few weeks I was there I had a nagging voice in my head that said "you don't belong here...the gym is reserved for big guys..." But as I figured out the proper form for different exercises, and realized nobody there cared how much I was (or wasn't) lifting I became more comfortable. And it really helped to start seeing results. I'm not exactly one of the 'big guys' yet but I'm certainly bigger than I was five months ago... I realize there are always gonna be bigger and stronger guys out there (and on this board, heh heh) but I've just gotta do the best I can for myself.

[dallasmsl]

I love it when guys tell me they'd go to the gym but they don't know how to workout and don't want to look silly. What I tell them is JUST GO! Watch the others and remember "Monkey-see; Monkey-do" and just do it but with a lot lighter weight. And also remember, NO ONE IS LOOKING AT YOU! They are looking at the hottie (male or female) on the other side of the gym wearing tight spandex flexing in the mirror.
Dave.

[ethernet_jock]

Even after my first "3 free" personal trainer sessions - when I started going to a gym about 2 years ago - I easily learned another 50% of my exercises by watching other bigger guys. They never seem to mind... although I wish I'd had the guts on more than one occasion to actually ask how to properly perform a given exercise.



I'll have to tell you the story sometime of the un-solicited spot I was offered on decline bench one time by this huge guy that I used to spend entirely too much time staring at... It was embarrasing as hell.

LOL

[newmus]

Originally Posted by ethernet_jock

Even after my first "3 free" personal trainer sessions - when I started going to a gym about 2 years ago - I easily learned another 50% of my exercises by watching other bigger guys. They never seem to mind... although I wish I'd had the guts on more than one occasion to actually ask how to properly perform a given exercise.



I'll have to tell you the story sometime of the un-solicited spot I was offered on decline bench one time by this huge guy that I used to spend entirely too much time staring at... It was embarrasing as hell.

LOL

i'm not going to beg so just tell the story!

[not2bright]

Originally Posted by hulkmuscle

As someone who was 135 lbs at 6'1 when I graduated college, I can completely identify.

Sounds like we had similar experiences! I was about 135 pounds at 5'11" a few years back.

Congratulations on your accomplishments! Whatever weight you decide to shoot for, I'm sure you'll look great.

[ethernet_jock]

newmus..

it's really not that big of a deal. I used to work out at this Bally's about 2 blocks from my office at my previous employer. I always went on lunch time because it was so close to work and I was still dealing with a "under 1-year-old" at home at that time for mornings and nights...

anyway.. after I'd been working out there about 6 months I'd gotten pretty accoustomed to the other "regulars" during my timeslot. No matter which days I chose to show up, there was always this one guy. He was both one of the hottest and nicest guys there... would always nod or say "hello" to me when nobody else even noticed that I existed.

THis guy - who's name I regret never getting - was maybe 36-37 years old, latin-american, probably 6'1" and maybe a good 260-270lbs of pure beef. He was also pretty hairy for a latin guy and really had that gruff constrction-worker look going. He always wore some kind of cut-off shorts and cut-off shirt with buttons in the middle but button-ed down half way so you could see his pecs swell and sweat..... VERY unusual attire for a gym.

ANYhow, I was always amazed watching him because he was one of these guys taht despite his size and weight, would be doing free dips with 70 extra pounds attached to his weight belt or just random sets of pull-ups between sets of doing anything else. He was just insanely strong.

So one day I'm on the decline bench and I'm trying to stack the weight up pretty high... which at that time... was about 170lbs for me. About mid-way into my second set he comes up next to me and begins working on the VERY nearby squat rack. I racked the second set just fine after about 7 reps and was feeling strong... so I upped to 180 and than began my third set. I.... BARELY.... struggled... to rack... the 3rd set, after only about 5 reps. Arms shaking and breathing heavily as a lie there... he walked over and stood over my head, looked down at me and said VERY nicely (not mocking): "If you ever need a spot, just ask."

I was both embarrased and taken aback... and replied with something stupid like "thanks - I usually don't think of asking because I'm so used to working out alone"

but anyway... the impression was left.

That's the stupid story... I never did ask him to spot... and he never said much else to me after that other than the same occasional nod or "hello".

[newmus]

nice story. reminds me of the manager that signed me up at my gym (24hrf) anyway i so rarely see him that i forgot his name. one friday afternoon he noticed my gains (it amazes me how small i must have been, what with all of the coments i get) and we chatted for abit and he offers to spot me anytime - unfortunately i was doing shoulders or something.

[loopyrhino2001]

RonnieRules, I often feel the same way you do. As I've mentioned in other threads, my goal has always been just to add some muscle mass but stay lean/slim, as opposed to "huge"... and even so I still feel like it will take me ages to get there at the rate I am going. Every once in a while though I'll get a glimpse of myself in the mirror and think, hey, I'm not grotesquely thin any more, maybe I am making progress. Then later I go back to thinking I'm skeletal and always will be. And so it goes.

Originally Posted by dallasmsl

I love it when guys tell me they'd go to the gym but they don't know how to workout and don't want to look silly.

Oddly enough I've never really been intimidated going to the gym, even when I used to work out at a larger suburban gym that had several fairly serious/big lifters (of both genders!) pushing tons of weight. I just go about my own business and not really pay much attention to anyone else and what they're lifting.

There have been a couple of times though when I've been waiting for a machine to free up while some guy (inevitably bigger and more built than me) finishes his set, then I walk up to adjust the weight and find to my surprise that he was actually lifting *less* than I was going to lift. To which my reaction is, "well one of us is doing something wrong!" Certainly sometimes the other guy was probably doing a warm-up or cool-down set, but other times judging by the strain on his face, it was his regular lifting set. Weird!

[glammaman2000]

..."getting the weight up in the air"&"working your muscles".There's a place in your workout for both.