Making the Perfect Man / Golem

[Shahrazad2]

Has anyone read the urban fantasy webcomic called Spare Keys for Strange Doors? There isn't any muscle in it so far, but the first story, Kill the Romance, is a really cool take on the legend of the Golem, with a telling point: we love to think about the perfect guy, and what we would do if we could find (or make one), but do we deserve one... and could we live with one in person, or would that perfection grow annoying and irritating after awhile? Like Frankenstein's monster, would the perfect guy we created want a bride (or groom) who was his equal? Or would part of what made him perfect be his devotion to us?

I'm thinking of writing a story like this, possibly with a happy ending if I can spin it that way... but I thought I'd share the webcomic with you guys and get your opinons.

http://sparekeyscomic.com/index.php?comic=20110715

Also, what would you guys do if you had that ball in the story? What would be on your List? What would you name the golem and what would he look like? Would you want a romantic relationship with him, or just a sexual/friends-with-benefits kind of thing, or would you like him to just be your friend, or son, or occasional object of worship?

Mine would not have a name like Phillipe... maybe Kyle or Sean or Raoul instead, and I'm still hammering out the ideas for what he'd look and act like.

[Rarity]

Hey, the priestess Kikyo (not original Kikyo) from Inuyasha was created in this way. There's many renditions of how "golems" act after being created. In this case, she was EXACTLY like Kikyo with the EXACT same feelings and the EXACT same memories. She also had the memories of her death through her eyes. Basically, it was like she had never died for real-real, juss fo' play play. So if someone dressed up like a loved one and killed her, then she would not have known the difference and assume the loved one did it.

In the case of "Phillipe", he was like a hopeless love addict. His girlfriend forgot some important things and was obviously hurt by it, but he was made to love everything about her regardless. So he probably would have played out the part of the abused boyfriend until she died or until he died - assuming he could die. . . Suicide might have been an option. He was obviously hoping to do anything to get to her, even if it hurt someone else. Sooooo if she moved on, he'd probably turn into a stalker or turn out like Rose from "I Married An Axe-Murder" (Rose killed every man her sister Kate married so nobody could take Kate away from her).


I'm surprised nobody has made a muscle-growth story revolving around this. Like the person who made him can control the way he looks by just adding more mud or whatever. If you want to make it easy, the looks of the golem can be made by wrapping the ball in a picture of someone. Or even a virtually rendered being. Then he would take the appearance of whatever was on the paper (an anatomically correct human). . . So a nerd could be the creator - he got drunk one night and decided to do it out of severe loneliness. And bam, his Sims 3 character of adoration suddenly becomes real. Weeeeeeeird feel, bro.

[Shahrazad2]

Something else I wondered about is that in the original Golem story, Golem was stopped by changing the word "Emet" (meaning "Truth") to "Met" (meaning "Death")... I'm not sure what words one could use in a muscle growth story in English, though... it's not quite so convenient.

[V.R.Goh]

Sounds like the story of Pygmalion and Galatea. Maybe the sculptor wants to create the ideal man to be either his/her lover or simply object of muscle worship.

[Rarity]

Well Golems are fictional, so you don't really need to follow it to a T. It may be more interesting in a setting where it's unbelievable, so the character who created the golem doesn't know how to treat it; nor does he believe it's even real at first. Eventually he gets so caught up in having a perfectly muscled man at his disposal that he adds more and more muscle, and to the golem's dismay, it can no longer carry out its functions like it was originally meant to do. So he decides to get even with the human that created him. . . DUN DUN DUUUUUUN

Destroying it could be as simple as setting it on fire if you want. The golem is cleansed of any magic from the fire, and then all that's left is a pile of mud that gets turned into a bridle clay statue.

I kinda want to make a story involing one now. . . It'd be some nice slave muscle opportunity without needing much background story.

[Crazy-Zealot]

In folklore, golems often have close ties to Jewish sorcerers and rabbis, such as in the Golem of Prague. Maybe that could provide some backdrop? I too am surprised that no one has done a story like this yet (yeah for originality!), and think it would be really interesting.
Also note that golems do not always need to be made of clay. You could have one that keeps growing itself as it is exposed to more of the element is was created from.

[V.R.Goh]

Originally Posted by Crazy-Zealot

You could have one that keeps growing itself as it is exposed to more of the element is was created from.

I sense a cum-golem coming from this one.

[Shahrazad2]

It's true that golems are not always made from clay, and modern fantasy has shown golems created out of all sorts of things (and not simply Jewish magic, for that matter). However, as anyone who has seen that lovemaking scene in Ghost with the pottery wheel, clay is sexy, and sculpting it reminds us of flesh, strong and slick. How many times have "sculpted bodies" been mentioned on this forum, after all?

[Aielyn]

Originally Posted by Shahrazad2

Something else I wondered about is that in the original Golem story, Golem was stopped by changing the word "Emet" (meaning "Truth") to "Met" (meaning "Death")... I'm not sure what words one could use in a muscle growth story in English, though... it's not quite so convenient.

A few possibilities that aren't quite as neat as the Hebrew one...

Adding to the word:
Rumble -> Crumble
Top -> Stop (for the gay bottoms out there)
Lust -> Dust (works best in lower case: lust -> dust)
Rave -> Grave
Right -> Night

Taking from the word:
Lover -> Over
Saint -> Ain't (I know, a bit of a stretch, that one)

Modifying the word a bit:
Hunk -> Husk
Swell -> Shell

Of course, if I were writing it, I'd come up with a variation to the theme - why go with modifying a word, when you could go with something else? Logic bombs are always fun.

[Shahrazad2]

Originally Posted by Aielyn

A few possibilities that aren't quite as neat as the Hebrew one...

Adding to the word:
Rumble -> Crumble
Top -> Stop (for the gay bottoms out there)
Lust -> Dust (works best in lower case: lust -> dust)
Rave -> Grave
Right -> Night

Taking from the word:
Lover -> Over
Saint -> Ain't (I know, a bit of a stretch, that one)

Modifying the word a bit:
Hunk -> Husk
Swell -> Shell

Of course, if I were writing it, I'd come up with a variation to the theme - why go with modifying a word, when you could go with something else? Logic bombs are always fun.

Really cool ideas, thanks! I'll have to see if I make a story of my own based on the theme.

[Big Jake]

Maybe you could have a look at the chapter on Golems in the "Handbook of Necromantic Ritual?" It an interesting idea on golem creations as guardians.