being intimidated in the gym

[olderguy]

I am ok with the big guys in the gym, they can be very helpful, the problem I have is with the big girls. Do any of you other olderguys feel intimidated by the big girls? While visiting a gym in kansas last month I ran into this huge woman, had to be half my age, but she was one of those poeple who pack on the beef so much that their head looks to small for the body!!!! OMG I couldn't help but stare. She was cool, but when ever she looked my way I would look away. After a while I could feel she was uneasy about my presents but not becasue she was afraid of me. NO not at all. When she started walking toward me I just picked up my towel and headed for the locker room. Nothing happened but when I left the gym she stared me down. Honestly its really uncomfortable to be in that situation. Even if some of you younger guys have an opinion, how do you deal with it? I haven't been in the gym for 40 years.

[Aielyn]

Try striking up a conversation with her. Nothing destroys a feeling of intimidation faster than actually chatting with a person. And by the sounds of it, she's not trying to intimidate you.

[The Magus]

People in the gym are like bears in the forest: they're more afraid of you than you are of them*. Also, women bodybuilders have a rough niche: any woman who doesn't match society's "ideal" has to put up with stares, rude comments, derision, harrassment, etc, so the omwan you encountered probably had no idea that you were harmless because she's probably had every insult in the book thrown at her.

I agree with Aielyn, strike up a conversation with her...if she feels that you respect her dedication and don't mean any disrespect, she'll probably thaw a fair bit.

Or else, just relax and focus on your workout. The gym is for lifting weights, not people-watching.




*From what I understand, this is NOT true for bears: they will attack you for any number of reasons, especially grizzlies. They outweigh you by hundreds of pounds and are NOT scared of a puny human!

[cohzaku]

I just be polite and nice to anyone in the gym, The big people are typically some of the nicest ones there.I've had guys who make 200 lbs. look sickly skinny compliment me on my lifts, offer to spot me, be some of the sweetest people.

we're all there for similar goals, so be nice and niceness will be returned. That's been my experience.

[Bigm999]

Originally Posted by olderguy

OMG I couldn't help but stare......Honestly its really uncomfortable to be in that situation. Even if some of you younger guys have an opinion, how do you deal with it? I haven't been in the gym for 40 years.

How do I deal with it?

DON'T STARE AT PEOPLE.

It's rude. It's offputting. You're making your own problem here.

Seriously, it's extremely rare to meet anybody at a gym that isn't reasonably polite - if you behave yourself.

If you act like a jerk - staring at people makes you a jerk - you'll be treated like one. Get some manners.

I can understand being a newcomer it must be difficult for you but please make sure to follow Gym etiquette. So don't stare anyone be a pleasant gym member.

[RosettaWood]

I guess she has a business with you man, maybe she likes you? No one knows unless you approach her. Try to talk to her, eventually everything will be ok.
-Rosetta

[Mdlftr]

Originally Posted by olderguy

I am ok with the big guys in the gym, they can be very helpful, the problem I have is with the big girls. Do any of you other olderguys feel intimidated by the big girls? While visiting a gym in kansas last month I ran into this huge woman, had to be half my age, but she was one of those poeple who pack on the beef so much that their head looks to small for the body!!!! OMG I couldn't help but stare. She was cool, but when ever she looked my way I would look away. After a while I could feel she was uneasy about my presents but not becasue she was afraid of me. NO not at all. When she started walking toward me I just picked up my towel and headed for the locker room. Nothing happened but when I left the gym she stared me down. Honestly its really uncomfortable to be in that situation. Even if some of you younger guys have an opinion, how do you deal with it? I haven't been in the gym for 40 years.

Old thread here.

My thoughts: If you "haven't been in a gym in 40 years," accept the fact that times have changed and the world moves on.


Today, women are engaged in all professions and sports where men are, {except the Catholic priesthood, but that's a discussion for another string!} and some where they aren't {uneven parallel bars -- very painful for a man to replicate some of those spins around the bar! Ouch!}

Women bodybuild just like men do. That certainly changes their bodies and is certainly "stare worthy" but you need to be circumspect.

Try to stick to yourself and just observe your surroundings, without trying to interact. Once you get a sense of what is going on, then you can try to interact. Some circumstances are NEVER going to be what you hope or expect. Some gyms are strictly business - workout and get out, some are more interactive: "Hey, howya doin'?"

I'm sure you've realized much of this by now.

Good luck and keep lifting!

Mdlftr

[RosettaWood]

Originally Posted by Mdlftr

Old thread here.

My thoughts: If you "haven't been in a gym in 40 years," accept the fact that times have changed and the world moves on.


Today, women are engaged in all professions and sports where men are, {except the Catholic priesthood, but that's a discussion for another string!} and some where they aren't {uneven parallel bars -- very painful for a man to replicate some of those spins around the bar! Ouch!}

Women bodybuild just like men do. That certainly changes their bodies and is certainly "stare worthy" but you need to be circumspect.

Try to stick to yourself and just observe your surroundings, without trying to interact. Once you get a sense of what is going on, then you can try to interact. Some circumstances are NEVER going to be what you hope or expect. Some gyms are strictly business - workout and get out, some are more interactive: "Hey, howya doin'?"

I'm sure you've realized much of this by now.

Good luck and keep lifting!

Mdlftr

I totally agree with you, very well said.
-Rosetta

[monstermusclebe]

If you are going to the same gym and are going to be seeing her again, the best thing to do is walk straight up to her and say, "Hi, I just wanted to say how impressed I am by your musculature. Last time I was in a gym, I never saw a woman as built as you. In fact, I have to admit, I'm a bit intimidated!."

Tell her the truth about how you feel, with a smile on your face.

She'll LOVE all that... and you will be able to get over the whole thing easily. She might even give you some pointers!

[inflated]

Originally Posted by monstermusclebe

If you are going to the same gym and are going to be seeing her again, the best thing to do is walk straight up to her and say, "Hi, I just wanted to say how impressed I am by your musculature. Last time I was in a gym, I never saw a woman as built as you. In fact, I have to admit, I'm a bit intimidated!."

Tell her the truth about how you feel, with a smile on your face.

She'll LOVE all that... and you will be able to get over the whole thing easily. She might even give you some pointers!

The best advice most people are not jerks they will be glad you came up to them and introduced yourself.

[RosettaWood]

Originally Posted by monstermusclebe

If you are going to the same gym and are going to be seeing her again, the best thing to do is walk straight up to her and say, "Hi, I just wanted to say how impressed I am by your musculature. Last time I was in a gym, I never saw a woman as built as you. In fact, I have to admit, I'm a bit intimidated!."

Tell her the truth about how you feel, with a smile on your face.

She'll LOVE all that... and you will be able to get over the whole thing easily. She might even give you some pointers!

Hi,
Nice! This is the best advice I guess. Telling the truth will not harm you at all especially when delivered in the most polite way. She might like you with this.
-Rosetta