A big question for me is... (seeing bigger guys)

[Corwin]

For the "Wicked" folks---just saw it tonight--I agree--it's like "Legally Blonde" meets "Harry Potter."

FEH! Yes Glinda (the 'gah' is silent) plays the dumb blonde perfectly (ala Reese Witherspoon), but I don't get the Harry Potter references. I doubt that Gregory McGuire had that in mind when he wrote the novel (since to novel might predate the Potter books). People growing up and going to schools has a long history, and this school didn't focus on "magic", simply had a course (or program) in it. The Animals taught things like since or philosophy, not magic. Simply because part of it is in a school doesn't make it Harry Potter.

The music was OK, and I do intend to soundtrack when I can.

Oh, muscle.... ya, well, there was this really hunky dude sitting next to me when I saw it Wonder if he ever wore the t-shirt????

Scott

[polomuscle]

guys, I love this thread, I hope we can continue this conversation.
I have some questions:
1) if i love my boyfriend, but he's not muscular and has no interest in going to the gym, EVER--should i dump him and find a muscle guy to date?
2) once you're in the gym and get up the courage to talk to people and be friendly--how do you tell if the guy is gay or straight?
3) can anyone here share experiences of being ignored or looked down on by guys who were more muscular than they are (just because you're not buff enough, they're not interested)?
Rock on dudes. Hit it hard this week.

[Bull]

Polomuscle

1. Of course you shouldn't dump your boyfriend if you love him! The question is, if you really love him, would you even be asking such a question? At any rate, muscle is no foundation for a relationship.

2. Beats the hell out of me. I was born without gaydar.

3. Yes, of course. There are always those insecure guys whose whole self-image is about their bodies, and they feed on comparing themselves with "lesser mortals." but watch how fast they change when a bigger guy comes into the room. either they disappear, or they suck-up to him, hoping some of his "superiority" will rub-off. It can be really disgusting to see the way they fawn. Which just goes to show, it's all relative. Fuck 'em. Compare yourself to you, no one else.

By the way, what's the origin of your polo shirt fetish? It fascinates me, because I personally hate that look, reeking as it does of frat-boy elitism. It's as far from sexy as it gets, for me. But then, I'm sure I have fetishes that would seem just as odd to others. Just wondered what started that for you. Were you molested by a preppy as a child or something? LOL. Just kidding.

[polomuscle]

sometimes we eroticize the thing we hate so we can control it...

[Bull]

aah...very interesting. I'll have to think about that in my own case.

[brent]

For what it's worth, I'll add my thoughts.

1. Hopefully, you will see if they have any interest in going to the gym before you become deeply in love. If you do fall deeply in love with them anyways, stay with the person you love.

2. Gaydar (for those of us with it) is imperfect at best. So you should look for clues. Some people will drop not so subtle hints, like wearing their Freedom Rings, or some pink/rainbow paraphernalia, a Gay T-shirt like one from an AIDS organization, or they may ask if you like The Wizard of OZ. Generally, I think that if a guy is in a gym, they probably aren't straight. Would you be in there if you weren't obsessed with muscle? Of course I may just think this since I live on the left coast...

3. Having been in a relationship for the last 10 years, I have rarely come-on to guys at the gym. When I was single, the few guys I asked that were noticeably bigger than me went out with me once or twice, typical for me at that time. However, I have since blown off guys since then because I am in a relationship. So if you do approach someone, and they don't reciprocate your feelings, don't take it personally. There may be an other explanation.

4. I hate polos too, but polomuscle is great guy. That's why I won't say anything bad about them other than: I loved them in the '80s, and I will love them again when they come back in style. On the other-hand, when a guy with huge arms wears a polo, and it streches that arm-band... EOWIES!!! I live them then. Ringer Tees are also good for that too.

[pumperz]

Unfortunately, many 'big' bodybuilders (generally not those at the very top - analogous to the acting profession - waste their considerable potential through being arrogant, rude, unreliable and generally non-communcative, to the non-bodybuilding public; somehow believing that everyone else should 'bow down' to them.

Muscle (paticularly if this goes with good looks and openess) is unquestionably a great asset, and if with a keen brain, a real winning combination that should take them far in the world generally, but only if they are also personable and friendly.

In many instances these bodybuilders fail to take advantage of their considerable potential to get on (apart from modelling and suchlike, which as much as we enjoy it, is a very abitrary and fickle life-curve, with new faces and bodies always ready to usurp the current contenders). This failure is largly due to their pseudo-dominating attitude - which is fine and necessary in the gym, but not conversant to winning friends and influencing people outside it, unless they themselves are so shallow that muscle is all that counts.

Rather than lesser developed physiques be cowered into thinking that the superior physique makes a better man because of their superior muscle development. In many instances, those who may appear to believe they are a God of muscle are in fact an inner pyrotechnical confusion of doubt, and certainly not supremely confident alpha males as their public demeanour would suggest. Usually the arrogance and inappropriate rudeness is merely overcompensation by the self-perceived previously "skinny runt" before his 'cosmetic' bodybuilding growth took over.

If they can do it, providing you have the genetics and genuine commitment for the end result, believe that you too can become like them and you will already be halfway there but only if you compliment that with sheer hard work and appropriate lifestyle. Don't just be a wannabee be a " PROUD, I'VE DONE IT!"

But if you want more from life than just muscle and not just waste it's golden potential of 'opening doors' for you, remember also to develop that brain and above all... be friendly and approachable to those others too, then and only then muscle becomes as an all powerful magnet, for others to help you forge forward on all fronts.

[brent]

pumperz,
great post, and you make great points. I hope you stay on, and become a regular poster here. I like how you point out that a lot of the big guys are just skinny runts that got big... They still see the skinny runt. I always try to advocate the opposite: I try to get the skinny guys here to realize that they are mountains of muscle that haven't allowed themselves to bloom yet. Don't ever let one of those jerks let you believe that you are any less then them, just because they started to go to the gym before you did. I try to encourage everyone I can. There will be bigger guys than you at a gym when you first start, because you are first starting! People need to get over it, and get there themselves. Just visualize what you will look like with muscle, and set out to build it. It will take time & effort, but anything good does.

[DaBigGuy1]

<<The funny thing is, it takes a lot more to impress me these days. Most times I see guys in the stores or wherever, and I think, "Yeah, o.k. you've got some size, but nowhere near what I'd want if I were you." I also am not as impressed by the huge 'roid monsters in the mags as I used to be. I look at them and think--great pecs, but look at that gut! Or great arms, but his face is so red it looks like his blood pressure is through the roof! The next sound you hear is the sound of his liver exploding from all the drugs.....


I don't know why I'm more blase about the pros. On the one hand, I generally like the look of a well built, proportionate guy. On the other hand, the big guts and red faces are like a clock ticking...how long till systemic meltdown? I've concluded that natural is the way to go, even if I never have the huge chest of a Dragna, the thighs of a Platz or the arms of a Mazzarato. The articles posted elsewhere on the Forum about the false expectations created by the media and steroids, about what a natual man "ought" to look like are a great reality check. You've got to work with what you've got, and, I suspect most of us, myself included, have a long ways to go before we approach our max!
Anyway, the stories are inspiring, as are the life stories of you guys!

Keep up the good work!

Mdlftr>>

Great response, Mdlftr! I can't think of the last time a statement has been made more eloquently. Yes, there will always be someone out there bigger and better. (I know that somewhere out there in some country there is probably some guy working in a factory or field in another country that would probably dwarf Ronnie Coleman, but we will never see him because he probably doesn't think twice about his size.. )

I must add that I also do not get that phased by the pros..the physiques have just gotten to overblown..mind you I do like big muscle, but something is missing from this bunch today. Yes, big pecs, lats and biceps are ALWAYS great, but distended bellies and beach ball shaped heads I'll pass on. There is an ideal balance out there, but all in all, I just think "be the best that I can be!"

All of you guys here are inspiring.... Now, tomorrow will be a great training day!

lllll----lllll

Ron

[Minotaur]

Wow, there are so many great posts from the past, that I missed. I am so glad they are being resurrected.

Sometimes I feel the same way too, about seeing bigger guys. I often think "What's the use?" or "Why am I doing this?" because I don't look like them. But then there are other times when I am feeling good about myself, and proud of my physique and accomplishment, and I feel like one of them.

For me, it all depends on how I'm feeling in general about myself. I've always had self-esteem issues, because from the time I was a child, to now at 48 years old, people have always felt they had the right to criticize me, put me down, or say whatever they want to me and I am supposed to take it.

Weightlifting and getting bigger and stronger is the one thing that I do that the average guy doesn't do, and sets me apart. Even then there are the detractors who say I am too big for my height and frame size. There's always someone to piss in your Cheerios.

So instead of forming an Us The Puny Guys v. Them The Big Guys camp within bodybuilding and weightlifting, we should look at those bigger-than-us guys as our brothers-in-arms (no pun intended ) and realize that we are playing on the same team. Some have just scored more points than others.

[glammaman2000]

I have all the respect in the world for Ronnie Coleman;but he just doesn't look"comfortable"in his own body!I'll get as big as I can,but hell;I have to live in this thing!

[dancer56]

I'll take the continuous Mr. Olympia runner-up Jay Cutler any day. By the way, I email him from time to time and he responds. Very nice fellow, lives in Las Vegas! THE BLOND BOMBER . . .a cut above.