My Brother Nick: Journal Entry 3: 11/29/2001

[number12]

[ My Brother Nick: Journal Entry 1: 10/12/2001 ]
[ My Brother Nick: Journal Entry 2: 11/08/2001 ]

My Brother Nick: Journal Entry 3: 11/29/2001

Today was an.... interesting day. It was the first time that Nick hit me intending to harm me. He has appologized a hundred times already for it, but I'm still hurt by it. Here's what happened.

It started last night when Nick woke me up. We share a pretty small room, so when he threw the covers off his bed, I woke up. He came over to my bed and shook me really hard and whispered, "Mike! I had a horrible dream! Some man had come into our house and killed Mom and Dad!"

"It's okay, Nick. Nothing's going to happen to them," I told him. He looked really shaken up by it.

"I know it's not but my dream felt so real!"

I told him to get back into bed and try to go back to sleep and he'd feel better. He got back into his bed but I could tell by all his tossing and turning that he hadn't fallen asleep.

About an hour later I heard, "Mike?"

"Yeah, Nick?"

"I know this is really weird and childish but... do you think I could sleep with you?"

I didn't think it was all that weird but I thought that Nick had grown out of that. Maybe I thought that because he's bigger than me. It actually kind of made me happy to know that he's still my little brother and he still looks up to me.

"Sure, Nick, if it will help you sleep" I told him.

He climbed in and slid under the covers next to me. I put my arm around him to give him a hug, and he thanked me and told me again that he knew it was childish but he just felt really upset from his dream. I told him it was fine.

"You know I'm always here for you Nick. Whatever you need."

"I know, Mike. That's why I love you so much."

My heart glowed when he said that he loved me. That was probably the nicest thing he's ever said to me.

"I love you too, Nick."

With that, he turned over and I put my arm over him. Jeez, was he big. I had to get closer to him for it to be at all comfortable. As far as I know, we were like that the rest of the night because we slept until the morning.

This morning, though, Nick still seemed upset. He wasn't in a very good mood. I hardly ever see him in a bad mood, so this was very unusual. It just seemed like the smallest things annoyed him. We didn't have 1% milk, which he likes. We only had whole milk. He got really annoyed. When I was trying to hurry him up because we were going to be late for school, he yelled at me, something he hardly ever does. And in the car ride to school, he didn't say a word.

It was a Thursday so Nick had soccer practice after school. I didn't see him until Mom brought him home later in the evening. He was still grouchy. After we ate dinner I was trying to get him into good spirits because I hated seeing him in a bad mood. I was trying all sorts of things to get him happy.

"Come on, Nick, let's play some N64," I pleaded with him.

"No, I don't really want to."

"Yeah, seriously, maybe it will cheer you up." I put my hand on his shoulder.

"NO!" Nick spun around and pushed me hard in the chest, and I fell onto the floor.

I was stunned. Nick has never harmed me before. He knows how much stronger he is than me, and he has never taken advantage of that to harm me or force me to do anything. He had a scowl on his face that I had never seen before. He stormed off, upstairs and into our room. I expected to hear the door slam but I didn't.

My mom came into the room and asked what happened, and if I had tripped after she saw me on the floor. I guess she didn't hear Nick and I talking. I said that, yes, I had tripped, and that Nick was upset.

"Yeah, I don't know why he's been in such a bad mood today," my mom said. "Maybe you'll go up and talk to him?"

That was my plan anyway, so I started up the stairs and slowly walked down the hall. I could see that our door was open so I tried to be quiet in case he was still upset.

As I got closer, I heard that he was crying. I peered my head around the door frame and saw that he lying on his stomach under the covers and crying into his pillow. I haven't seen my brother cry like that for ages, and it instantly made me upset to see.

I walked in slowly. "Hey... Nick, what's wrong? Are you okay?"

He didn't acknowledge me but I heard his crying slow down and he sniffled a little. I sat down on the edge of his bed and looked over at him. I noticed that he had taken his shirt off and I watched his shoulders move with every breath he took and noise he made.

"Nick?" I asked softly as I put my hand on his shoulder.

He finally looked up at me and started crying a little harder.

"I'm sorry I pushed you! I'm so sorry Mike!" He started sobbing even harder. It twisted my heart so hard. I really hate to see him like that, because he is usually such a happy kid.

"It's okay, Nick. It's okay." I kept saying that over and over again, but it didn't seem to do any good. "Nick, really. I forgive you. Come on and give me a hug.

He pulled me down onto the bed and squeezed. It seemed that's what did it because he stopped crying and started to sniffle again.

"You want to sit up and talk to me and tell me what's wrong?" I lightly touched his shoulder again, and he nodded as he buried his face in his pillow.

As he pulled the covers down a little bit and sat up next to me I noticed how muscular and defined his abs were as they pulled his torso upright. I followed it up to his chest, where his cute pecs (and although I call them cute, they're way bigger than mine are) made a slight overhang that cast a shadow over the top of his stomach. He scratched a spot right next to his right nipple.

"I don't know, though. I don't know what's wrong! It started with that dream and I think I started thinking bad things and I've just been annoyed by things all day. I kept hitting people too hard in soccer and I couldn't pay attention in school today, even though we did writing which is my favorite subject. I don't know what it is!" Nick covered his face with his hands, and I watched his biceps tense as his arms bent.

"It's okay, Nick. I'm right here. Maybe it was just the dream. Everything's okay now. I'm here." I hugged him and he hugged me back, so hard it almost hurt.

"I know. It's just..." He looked down and started fidgeting with his hands.

"What is it?" I placed my hand over his so he would look at me.

"Well... I think I do know what it is. I think I did something bad."

Oh God, I thought. What could he have done? Stolen something? Broken something?

"What is it, Nick?"

"I... I... Well.. yesterday me and Alex, you know Alex right?" Alex was one of Nick's good friends at school. The two of them and one other friend, Ben, always hang out together.

"Yeah, I know Alex," I told him.

"Well yesterday we were walking to the store before soccer practice, because we were going to get some Gatorade, and... well, this high school kid came over, a big kid about my height" (okay, I thought, so Nick knows that he himself is a big kid) "who was a little fat, and he had this weird spiky bracelet thing, he came over and he demanded our money, and we said no, and he said 'yeah, give it to me,' and punched Alex."

I knew that kid at the high school. He was a jerk. Jimmy Thompson. He was a little fat and always wore a dog collar-type spiky bracelet.

"So I went over and I punched him because he was about to take Alex's money, but I think I hurt him a lot because he fell over and was clutching his face. And we ran because I didn't want to get in trouble or anything. We ran right to soccer practice."

PHEW, I thought. Is that all? The more I think about it though, the more I realize that Nick is not really a violent person, so this must have been a big deal for him. And at age 11, hitting someone must feel like a big violation of the rules.

It took me a while to explain to him that, while hurting someone is never good, he did it in self defense -- only to make sure that he didn't get any more injured -- and that's not as bad as hurting someone for no reason. He said he knew that but still felt bad about it, and I told him that he shouldn't feel bad; that it was the kid's own fault for trying to bully him and Alex.

I guess I must have done a pretty good job at calming him down because he seemed to relax a little bit. "Will you lie here with me for a little bit? It really made me feel better last night."

"Sure," I said, and he pulled down the covers so I could get into his bed. I saw that he was just in his boxers.

I laid down, and he threw the covers back over both of us and put his arm around me. His body was nice and warm, and it was even comforting to me for us to lie there together, with him holding us close together.

I guess I must have dozed off because the next time I opened my eyes, an hour and a half had passed. Nick was clutching me tight and was fast asleep. I tried to pull back a little bit because I was a little uncomfortable in all of my clothes, but his grip was really tight. I kept trying, though, because there was something really uncomfortable in one of my pockets. When I couldn't push myself off of Nick I reached down to readjust my pants and whatever was digging into me in my pocket, and I realized that Nick had an erection! That's what was digging into my leg. It was HUUGE. I slowly tried to adjust so I could feel it softly so I didn't wake Nick up. It was so thick I almost couldn't wrap my hand around it. I tried to get a sense of how long it was, but I couldn't reach down to the base of it. I could tell, though, that it was at least a hand's length and a half long, plus however much there was that I couldn't reach. I tried to struggle free so I could get a better feel, and Nick finally let go, but he turned over onto his stomach and kept sleeping.

I snuck out of his bed and I'm now writing this journal entry. Turned out to be a pretty long one. But that was my day today. Hopefully soon I'll get Nick to measure his arms again because I'm pretty sure they've gotten a little bigger recently. I hope to write my next entry soon.

[iceman75]

Wow, two muscle boy stories in one day? How did I get so lucky? This is a great story man, I enjoyed the fact that Nick still has a bit of childhood innocence to him, despite the fact he's probably stronger than most high school football players. I can't wait to see the next part man!

[viamanmax]

This is a great story, I hope to see much more of it. I also hope you have time to finish more chapters quickly. I cannot wait.

[collegebud]

this is great man, i had totally forgotten about this one... please go on

[rextorres]

Wow! First Davey's Destiny, now Nick! This is one GREAT Christmas!!!

I like how Nick accidentally used a "little" too much strength on his big bro, and immediately turned it around and apologized for it. He's still a little kid at heart, even though he's got the strength and the muscle.

Good story! Hey, it made my Christmas day!

[Muscle_Knight]

Wow! This is turning into one awsum story. Don't stop writing!

[jsmith2300]

Yes, please! More!!

Hopefully, we can get a nice New Year's present with another chapter.

The 'slow burn' of growth over a long period is definitely my favorite, and I think you are capturing it so well with this journal format. Nick is definitely a gentle kid, and his brother is a good figure to have in his life. Obviously, his brother's starting to realize just what a muscle monster Nick will become in a few years. It's fabulous, and I can't wait until the next chapter.

Hell, if I were ripped and 5'9" at 11, I'd be loving life. Glad Nick's bro is there to keep him down to earth. At least for a little while, anyway. : )

--JSmith