Powerful Woodpecker

[White Mage Cid]

Powerful Woodpecker

A fan-fic MG story in honor of Woody Woodpecker

By Cid SilverWing

Woody Woodpecker wasn't your normal woodpecker. But he lived a perfectly normal life, with maybe a little too many parties. Years ago, he had a really rough night and when he woke up, he felt terrible. But a tonic he found on his nightstand gave him invincible strength. This was many years ago, but Woody still hadn't let down his habits of partying. One particular morning he woke up with a splitting headache and his body felt weaker than ever. Last night he had been at a dance club and partied so hard he could barely even see straight afterwards at all. With so much bass echoing inside his head when he got into bed, it was no surprise he felt like shit the next morning. Woody sat on the edge of his bed, trying to focus his eyes, but only to feel the sunlight cut through his eyes like a thousand knives at once. He closed his eyes and started slowly dragging himself to the bathroom. The radio on the night table next to his bed turned on by itself and crackled before an announcer's voice came on, "Good morning, San Francisco. I'm Kenneth Jaeger here to bring you your daily dose of 12:00 am news." The voice shattered Woody's ears and he covered them. "Keep it down!" he shouted to the radio, but to no good. He tried to laugh his typical laughter, but it didn't come out right at all. Woody tried to squeeze some toothpaste out of his tube, but no matter how much he tried to squeeze, his hands were too weak to even squeeze out a drop. Of all the most terrible things Woody had experienced in his life, this must have been the worst. Last night's party had left him so unbelievably fatigued he was not himself. The radio news reader continued to uphold his broadcast, "At 05:24 pm last night, the recently opened research facility in the San Francisco peninsula was robbed, and a highly classified mixture was reported missing from the facility." "Mixture? If only I had something to make this awful headache go away..." Woody thought to himself. "According to what our reporters have managed to find out by means of interviewing the police and the facility research staff," The radio went on while Woody was still struggling with the toothpaste, "The perpetrator responsible for this theft did not manage to get far before he lost the stolen mixture somewhere in San Francisco close to 500 California St." Woody recalled living just ten paces away from that address, which was in fact a hotel. At the moment Woody felt a little too weak to even think about leaving his home though. "The police has announced that there is a bounty of $1 billion to anyone who can find and return the mixture intact to the research facility." The radio went silent after that. The woodpecker started thinking, but not too much as it made his headache a bit worse. Groaning a bit, he came to a conclusion. "If I can get that mixture and return it, I can have enough money to buy some medicine!" "In other news, all of the San Francisco hospitals have been temporarily closed for pest control. An increasing number of reports about rodents and other insects snooping inside the hospitals has had the hospital owners worried and thus have called pest control to deal with the issue. My name is Kenneth Jaeger, have a nice day!" The radio concluded its broadcast with the usual news outro jingle. The Woodpecker went to his closet and took out a couple of painkiller tablets, washing them down with water. Then a sudden and audible clinking sound that came from the bedroom alerted Woody. "What was that?" he thought to himself and walked slowly into the bedroom. As he entered it, he scouted around, looking for the source of that sound. But his weary eyes couldn't see anything suspicious. He decided to grab some tonic prescribed by the local emergency ward. But as he went up to his night table and stared at it, he found himself seeing two bottles. Was he seeing double? He couldn't focus enough to make any distinction between the bottles, and so he grabbed the left one. He unscrewed the cork and sipped the sweet contents into his beak. The tonic tasted unbelievably sweeter than it did last time. So sweet was it that Woody decided to take another sip, before he put the cork on again and crawled into bed to get some more sleep. He woke up hours later, and the first thing he noticed when he opened his eyes was that, to his surprise, the headache and weariness that troubled him earlier was gone. He felt as though something had just washed over him and cleansed him of the "hangover" he had gotten from the party. He felt so great that he jumped out of bed immediately and started stretching his arms and legs. "A new day, a new adventure!" Woody laughed wackily at his reflection in the mirror. But not until he had turned his back did he stop in his tracks, and then quickly turn around again on the spot to check on his reflection a second time.

He couldn't believe his eyes.

The first thing he noticed was that he had grown considerably taller in the hours he was asleep, but there was more. Hugging his cheeks were two bowling ball-sized pectorals with fluffy chestfur that brushed against his beak if he ever looked down, and his arms looked like someone had stuffed footballs into them. Thirdly, his abdomen was like a row of perfectly lined-up bricks, as though carved out of stone. And his legs were massive like tree trunks! But as his eyes went between his legs, something else grabbed his attention completely. He quickly covered up his crotch, blushing to the massive hunk in the mirror and laughing a bit more. He went to his drawer and tried to find a boxer that would fit; messing around a little bit before he actually found a red pair that contrasted his blue feathers. He wasted no time in putting it on, straining a little when he reached his waistline. He could still clearly see a large bulge in his crotch. He decided to ignore the bulge and went back to look at himself in the mirror. It was so unreal to see himself so big, so ripped and so defined. He flexed his right arm, watching his bicep double in size and his right pecs shift around as he moved the colossal arm that was his own. "Did I get this body from just sipping my regular prescribed tonic?" he thought to himself and scratched his head. Again he could see the huge pecs shift with every movement he made. He was now truly able to feel himself move with so much power added, and not so feathery light as previously. "Hmm, I must've changed into a Powerful Woodpecker!" he said out loud and laughed. But however hilarious he found the situation, it was so surreal to stand at twice his normal size, and at the same time feel so much bigger than before. He took a look at the bottle to the left on his nightstand and noticed the label. It became clear that what he had taken a sip of, was not his regular tonic, but in fact "Vitamin X". "NOT FOR HUMAN CONSUMPTION!" shouted letters in red. "Not for human consumption?!" he exclaimed.

Woody became instantly paranoid. He couldn't find any other warning signs on the label, but the bottle clearly stated that it was not for humanoid consumption. Worries struck him as he feared the worst could happen, but he didn't realize that since it had been hours since he drank it, he would have undoubtedly feel at least poisoned or ill. But he felt quite the opposite. Then he started wondering when the effect would wear off, if he should bring the bottle back to the guys that made it and get the money, or keep it to himself. Then for some reason he recalled how heavy beds tend to be. He looked over at the wooden frame of the bed with a fluffy mattress on it, estimating the bed weighing 200-somewhere pounds. He walked to the bed and grabbed it, lifting if up as if it was light as one of his feathers. He couldn't believe the immense strength he had recieved. But it wasn't entirely new, as he had experienced similar in the past, but he wasn't as big back then. He also recalled recieving a certain invincibility in the past, and he thought of testing that too. He dashed towards a wall with all of his strength, and quite simply mowed the wall down with no effort whatsoever. He laughed and walked back inside. Then Woody sat down on his bed and pondered what to do next...


The end.

[howardbeatman]

An MG story starring Woody Woodpecker. Even by furry standards, that's warped. But I still like it.

[nnnrg]

I remember that cartoon ... and your version is more like I had wished it had gone! still it was close to a real MG toon.

[White Mage Cid]

Originally Posted by howardbeatman

An MG story starring Woody Woodpecker. Even by furry standards, that's warped. But I still like it.

Hey! Be grateful I didn't bastardize Woody with sexual scenes like any other furry would have done.