Rage: Final

[xythan_shadow]

I would like to tell you that when I opened my eyes that the huge muscle beast I saw in my head was looking back at me, but I can?t. My physical body hadn?t changed one little bit. Not a single hair out of place or anything, just me standing there a little sweaty. To be honest, I was kinda hoping that I somehow would?ve magically changed to be that mammoth guy in my mind. It was a little disappointing, but slowly, something started to change. It started with a slight tingle in the back of my head that slowly cascaded through my mind like a warm summer?s rain.

Suddenly, a memory flashed to the front of my head. It was a memory from when I was in high school and I was getting taunted by one of the jocks. But before I could dwell on it, it started to drain away. It became blurry in my head until the point where it was just a jumble of images that made my head hurt when I tried to focus on it. Then, another painful memory popped up, only to fade to nothingness like the first one. Before I knew it, all the memories that held me back all these years were gone.

Then, I felt that familiar feeling of my rage. It started in the back of my head just like the warmth, but this was hotter and more primal. It felt like it was filling in those blocks in my head that were just erased. Now, instead of feeling a sense of pain, humiliation and loss, I simply felt a sensation of power and pride when I thought about the past. I could feel myself becoming less shy and more extroverted as I stood there. I could feel the rage had replaced all those negative feelings with self-confidence and security. I could then feel a level of control of the rage and a new, heightened sense of determination and focus. I wondered briefly to myself if that was how all jocks felt.

As I stood there, I slowly came into complete understanding. I was a jock. Mind, body and soul. The past no longer mattered. It didn?t even exist anymore. I couldn?t remember anything that happened that made me into that shy kid that was scared to even look at people in the eye. All I could remember was the good parts, all my successes, my joys and my victories. And there was a feeling as if the rage had been with me all my life. I closed my eyes and let all these new revelations sink in. Finally, I understood. Finally, I felt free.

?How do you feel now?? my big coach said with a smile.

?I feel like a fuckin? jock,? I said as I opened my eyes to look at him.

?Do you now? And tell me, how does that feel?? he said.

?Feels like I could take on the world. Feels like I?m the fuckin? man and shit. Feels like nothing could take me down right now,? I said, flexing a bit while looking at myself in the mirror.

?Sounds like you are doing good. You must really like how it feels.?

?Fuck yea, it?s amazing. I?ve never felt this way before. I feel so fuckin? good and fuckin? horny.? I said with a smirk.

?Oh really now, and what do you plan on doing about that?? he replied with the same humor in his voice that I had.

?Oh, I think you should get naked and we should wrestle around, see who can beat who for top and then play around for a few hours.?

?Don?t you think I?ll beat you way too easily? I mean, I am a lot bigger and stronger than you. Aren?t you scared to try and take me on?? he said with mock concern but his shorts revealed his growing interested.

?Doesn?t matter if I win or lose. The point is, I?m sure as hell going to give it everything I got,? I replied with confidence as I let the rage focus my attention.

He started ripping his clothes off as he said, ?That?s what I was hoping to hear.?

We wrestled and fucked for the rest of the night. It felt so good to be so free of all the hang-ups I had. No longer was I bound by titles like ?jock?, ?geek?, ?fat?, or ?ugly?. They were just words now. It didn?t matter what other people thought, it was how I felt about myself.

Granted, parts of me are still the same. I still was a cuddly, caring bear cub and as smart as a whip. Even now, I occasionally do Sudoku when I?m alone and want to relax. But the difference is, it?s not the only aspect of me anymore. I?m just a guy who likes lifting, hanging out with the guys, goes down to the homeless shelter and who can rebuild a computer. It is completely liberating to know that all the things I once believed were true were just false limitations I put on myself. My partner helped me to realize that.

Speaking of which, the big man and I got together permanently a few weeks after that wrestling match. He told me how when he first saw me, he said it was like cupid had shot him directly in the heart. He thought I was cute and he could tell I had some really good genetics for muscle growth. He wanted me bad, so he thought he would make the first move since I looked so shy. He wasn?t sure if I was into big guys like him. I?m glad he took the chance to get to know me because he helped me become what I am today and I?ve never been happier or looked better.

Oh, you probably want to know how I look now. Well, I haven?t got to the point I saw in my head that night, but I?m getting closer. Right now, I?m 6? tall in my socks and 320 lbs before breakfast, all beefy muscle. My husband is the bodybuilder of the two of us. He is the one with the dedication and discipline to do those cutting diets. I like my pasta way too much to go on a cut. I prefer just to be big. I love the way my quads roll around each other when I walk. I love how my arms are always at an angle because my lats are so wide. I love how my chest and abs are so hard I can bounce a medicine ball off of them. I love how I can?t walk into any normal store and find clothes to cover my bulk. I love the stares I get when I walk around in a tank top and spandex shorts. And most of all, I love how it feels when we wrestle around on our padded floor, both of us completely naked, his smooth body against my hairy one as we fight for dominance for the night. Sometimes, I win. Sometimes, he?s the victor. But we both enjoy every minute of it.

My partner said soon after we moved in together that the mind is a powerful thing. I?m living proof of that. We stopped trying long ago to figure out how I grew so much. He thought it might?ve had something with my mind making my body release a bunch of hormones like it wanted to catch up for all the growth I missed in puberty. I knew it had something to do with the rage that was a part of me, but I could never explain it well enough to my husband. So, instead of stressing over it, we just take it in stride now.

Besides, it?s all too amazing to try and explain anyway. Just take a look at me when in the locker room. Now imagine me being 5?9?, gut as wide as I was tall and a peanut for a cock. I was too shy to even look up when I was undressing in the locker room, and heaven forbid if someone was around when I was trying to get ready for the shower. I would?ve just stood there and waited for them to leave before I stripped. Yeah, I can remember being that. But now, I?m huge, burly and hung like I fathered a few elephants. I don?t think twice about walking around in next to nothing or even getting bare ass naked in the locker room. I know, it?s hard to believe. Like I said before, if it didn?t happen to me, I wouldn?t believe it either.

I know how it was, wishing, hoping some miracle would happen and somehow I became a huge, muscle bound wrecking machine that knew no fear. And, maybe, just maybe, you wish the same for yourself. To that, I have just a few pieces of advice.

One: Stop wishing. Just get out there and do it. If I could get the balls to join the gym, so can you. You might not be as lucky as I was, but you?ll never know unless you put yourself out there. Hell, you might end up better than me.

Two: Being a jock is just simply a state of mind.

And finally: If you ever find yourself in the gym and you just feel angry for no reason, just go with it. What harm could it do?

[artwork314]

great ending, sweet and inspiring.
definitely gives me some good ideas for my story.
thanks as always for another great story.