The Jascian's Toy - Part 11

[Rowan]

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— Eleven —

“Come on, sweetie.” I pleaded with the little girl on the table as I massaged her tiny heart with my hands. “Hang in there.”

A nurse tried to catch my eye. “Doctor Crowder…”

Her heart. If I could just get her heart going, then everything would come back. I knew it. I could feel it.

“Blake.” A gentle, warm hand rested on my shoulder. “It’s over. Let her go.”

He was my Attending, my teacher. But he wasn’t right about this. If I could just…

“Let’s try the paddles again,” I said, refusing to let go of that little heart. The heart was key. The heart was everything.

The hand on my shoulder firmed. “Blake.”

“She fell out of a tree.” I chuckled. “No one dies from falling out of a tree. I must have fallen dozens of times when I was—”

“Blake, step back and call it.”

One of my hands very carefully released her heart, and I used it to knock his arm away from me. “She's not dead! She can’t be—”

*****

I bolted upright in bed, gasping for air.

“Blake?” Gavin sat up, rubbing his eyes. “What’s wrong?”

“N-Nothing,” I told him, shivering even as I threw the blanket off my body. I was drenched in cold sweat. “Bad dream.”

He hissed, tearing off a corner of the bed sheet and wiping me down. My chest, my legs. He tried to take my boxers off, but I cringed and he let me go. “You haven’t had a nightmare since you were brought to Jasc.” His thumb glided up and down my back. “I thought being here had fixed you.”

Frowning, I rubbed vigorously at my own arms, trying to chase the chill away. “Fixed me?”

“On Earth you woke up like this a lot.”

Jesus. He’d watched even that. “Guess I’m still broken.”

He leaned down, catching my gaze. “Tell me what to do.”

“It’s over. Let her go.”

“Wh-What would happen to me if I had a heart attack here?” I asked suddenly, focusing on those bright blue eyes. It was night, but with the moonlight spilling through the window I could see him perfectly, silvered and beautiful. “If any of the Earthers had one?”

Gavin tilted his head to the side. “What’s a heart attack?”

That answered my question and I nodded at him. “Right,” I whispered, dropping my gaze to the mattress. “We’d die.”

He started to pick me up and I resisted, hugging my knees to my chest. “Don’t. Please.”

His hands paused, drew away from me. “If an Earther did have a…heart attack, couldn’t you fix them? You fixed so many in just the last few weeks.”

“It’s not like a rash, or a scratch, or even a dislocated shoulder.” My head tipped forward as I scrubbed at my face with my hand. “The heart is powerful and fragile—it’s the key to all of us.”

“What about the brain?”

My mouth crooked. “What good’s the brain if there’s nothing to feed it?” My colleagues would skin me alive if they heard me talking such nonsense. The brain was universally considered the most important organ in the body. But since that day… Since that little girl…

“Julie,” I whispered.

Gavin touched me again. I didn’t look up, but I didn’t pull away.

“Who’s Julie?” he asked softly.

My eyes drifted shut. “The girl who died. You saw me try and save her.” I shuddered when his hand paused on my back. “Her name was Julie. In the chaos I didn’t know that, but when I had to tell her parents their child was dead, they told me.” My hands slipped into my hair, tugging viciously at the locks. “Julie. Pretty name for a pretty girl. I couldn’t save her. I did everything right and I still couldn’t…”

“Blake, the other doctors said it wasn’t—”

“My fault,” I finished, wishing like hell I had something hard to drink. “Her life was in my hands. That made her my responsibility.”

“It wasn’t your fault.” Strong fingers drifted to my chest, gently pressed me back onto the mattress. “Some things are just too broken to fix.”

My breath hitched as my eyes welled with tears. “Wh-What if someone brings us an Earther who’s really hurt? At home I’d have all the right medication, equipment, and people to assist me. I’d have a chance to save them. Here…”

His face cleared. “That’s what you’ve been worrying about.”

I’d been so happy to play doctor, but I knew eventually someone would come with a relatively simple injury I couldn’t do anything about. Not on Jasc, anyway.

Gavin lowered his head, brushed his lips over my stomach. “Maybe we could have some of the things you need commissioned for you.”

A hollow chuckle escaped me as I rubbed at my eyes. “On a planet that has no concept of medicine?”

“All right, then we can take what you need from Earth.”

I stilled, pulled my hand away from my face. “Taking things from Earth is what caused this problem in the first place.”

His eyes rounded as he straightened. “Blake.”

Turning over onto my stomach, I slipped my arms beneath my toy pillow. “Do you ever think about that? The responsibility you have to your playthings?”

Tension drew the air taut, but Gavin’s voice was calm as he answered me. “Of course we think about it. We need to take care of you.”

“Yet Earthers still fall off nightstands; get torn open by vedas. You have a manual with,” I took a steadying breath, “nothing of use in it.”

His voice dropped to a whisper. “I’ve never let you get hurt, have I?”

Gavin didn’t see my point at all. I buried my face deeper into my pillow. “That doesn’t matter.”

“Doesn’t matter?” He moved closer, bracing a forearm on each side of my body as he leaned close. “Blake, do you think I’m special?”

The heat rolled off of his body, his warm breath caressed my back. But it was his question that made me turn over to look up into bright eyes. “What?”

His face was open, vulnerable as he stared down at me. “You can tell the difference between me and other Alphas, right?”

My brow furrowed, but I nodded.

“Do you trust me?”

He was the only thing in this world I did trust, so I nodded again.

“Then listen to me.” Gavin lowered his head a fraction more, speaking slowly, in soft tones. “I will never. Let. Your heart. Break.”

My lips parted.

Gavin fingered my hair with two of his fingers. “It’s stressful the first year, because you’re so delicate. The truth is that some Earthers do get hurt, but it’s very rare for one to die.” His fingers trailed down my body. “All of that ends after the second transition. When we change, you’ll be stronger and much harder to hurt.”

It took a second for the full impact of what he said to hit me. When it did, I sat up, my eyes wide. “W-We?”

He nodded. “The second transition will affect both of us.”

The heat drained from my skin. “How will it affect me?”

His voice was still calm, still warm. “You’ll get a little stronger, we’ll be more aware of each other.”

More aware? Gavin could already hear my heartbeat. How much more aware could he get? “The structure of my biology will change?”

“Not a lot. Enough to make life easier for you on Jasc.”

I frowned, trying to understand that. “I won’t break?”

Gavin smiled. “You won’t break. None of the Earthers will.”

There were a thousand questions racing through my mind, but one shot to the forefront as I lifted an eyebrow. “Will I grow?”

“No,” he said, chuckling. “Well, you might, but it won’t be noticeable.”

Hopes dashed again. I dropped back onto the mattress. “I don’t know if I like the idea of transitioning. No offense, but you were scary as hell during the first one.”

His smile faded. “You’ll like it. I promise.”

He looked…sad. Because it sounded as if I didn’t trust him? “All right.”

Gavin stared down at me a moment longer, before lowering his body. His shoulders rose, accenting the striations in his delts, pushing his chest forward. Silver light hit every swell of muscle, while shadows plunged the dips into almost perfect darkness.

The lure of becoming closer to this man was impossible to resist.

“How often did you watch me when I lived on Earth?” I whispered.

“Every day,” he answered easily. “Once, I checked my handheld between classes and some guy had you up against your bedroom wall. He was touching you all over, kissing your neck, pulling off your clothes. I skipped class so I could watch and jack off right there in the hallway.”

Shocked, I felt my breathing go shallow. “You were too young to be watching that.”

He smirked. “We mature differently than you do.”

I glanced away, knowing those sharp eyes could see the blush rising in my skin.

But Gavin continued on as if he hadn’t noticed. “I watched you do a lot of things. Laugh…cry…” His voice dropped. “Try to kill yourself.”

“You were too young to be watching that, too,” I murmured.

That didn’t get to him either. “I worked like hell to hack the system again, to go and get you, but by the time I figured out the code you’d dragged yourself out of the pit you were in.”

It was hard, hearing it. Finding out that someone had been paying such close attention in those moments I’d been sure I was alone. So I forced a smile and looked up at him. “I’m surprised you like me at all, then. I’m such a wreck.”

He shook his head. “On Earth you took care of hundreds of children. They trusted you, and all the adults gravitated toward you, asked your advice. And what you said always made sense, always seemed to help. Now you’ve got my friends calling you for help.” The pad of his forefinger touched my cheek. “I… I want to be a leader like you are. I want people to feel it’s natural to come to me.”

Nothing could have prepared me for a confession like that, and I fumbled around for some sort of intelligent response. “How long have you been thinking that?”

“A lot, lately. Whenever I look at you.”

“Oh,” I said softly.

Gavin broke into a wide grin, and all seriousness vanished. “Why don’t we go to Jovin’s store tomorrow? We could refill your Earther Care Kit, and you can pick out anything else you want.”

Glad that I was going to have time to absorb what he’d said, I nodded. “There’s nothing I need, though.”

“It’s not about what you need. It’s about what you want.” His entire face brightened. “We could also go to one of my favorite snack bars, have something cool to drink. Would you like that?”

This sounded like a date. Why did this sound like a date? “S-Sure,” I said, scared and excited at the same time, “sounds fun.”

“It does.” He stretched out beside me, his body curling on my side of the bed, his eyes never leaving me. “Can’t wait.”

The panic faded and I softened, edging closer to his face, running my hand along the bridge of his nose. “Goodnight, Gavin.”

His eyes drifted shut as his body curled a little tighter. “Goodnight, Blake.”

I smiled wryly as he fell asleep. Must be nice, being able to say what was on your mind and not worry about the consequences. I knew I wasn’t going to be closing my eyes for a while yet.

As I watched him sleep, though, everything he told me turned itself over in my head, and I noticed something. When Gavin referred to me, he’d used the word “Earther,” not “toy.” And where he normally would have said “beta” or “toy shop,” he’d called Jovin by name.

I… I didn’t know what that meant.

[muscl4life]

If Blake doesn't know what it means, how are we supposed to know? Hehe another amazing installment!

Thanks for sharing it,

cheers

[memorex414]

Ohhh we're getting to the great awakening of our hero. Gavin is changing in subtle ways and it's intriguing how this will affect Blake and Gavin's relationship. On a personal note I've been delving into the philosophical and psychological aspects of history trying to uncover the mysteries that always keep nagging (I need to take a break from reading) at me and I'm beginning to understand that it is truly the insignificant moments in a life that can have the most profound influence. Too bad we only learn this in hindsight and don't make the connection in the moment. I guess Wilde was right... there are two great tragedies in life; getting your heart's desire and the flip side...never getting it.

[redroger11]

You just keep making this story better and better. And I finally saw the reason for a very small toy. The children of Alphas are also very small, because by the time they are ten years old they are just over six foot tall. That would help them in rearing their own children and teaching them to love the little ones. An Excellent survival technique when they have modified their bodies to get bigger, but their children still get born of a small size. And for me that realization put this story much higher in my estimation. Keep Writing, Rowan. It's all Gold.

redroger11

[MAZIVKAROLY]

Incisively and shrewdly well-written. Many thank you's and kudos!

[nvb2]

Thank you, Rowan, for another wonderful chapter of your work!

[Giga_Huge5000]

I suppose when you have someone like Blake, who proves himself to be more than the ordinary toy, paired with someone like Gavin, who has a powerful devotion to his Earther from watching him all his life, you get a bond that slowly breaks through the social norms of a society. That would explain Gavin's slowly changing over the course of the story viewing Blake as a persona and not an object.

Oh I don't know! This story is too good for me to try and disect it like this! Thank you for another excellent chapter Rowan!

[ldaniel13]

It always makes my day whenever I see that you have written something new.

Thanks,

Luke

[tagsnola]

... Looks to me like Gavin has a deep respect for Blake and wants very much to be like him. That's probably a good thing for him, a good thing for Blake and the other toys, as well as a good thing for the alpha's, beta's and gammas of Jasc. Interesting chapter. Looking forward to what comes next.
Cheers!
TagsNOLA

[OnyxFaith]

It really is coming along very well Rowan.

[cesarvillavi]

This must be one of the greatest thing I've read. I don't know how you do it Rowan, but every time you write, every chapter is better than the last one, yet it's just as great...

It's like they are all great magnificant pieces of art with the same level of perfection so it's hard to tell wich one is the best, they are all so perfect...

[Rowan]

Originally Posted by muscl4life

If Blake doesn't know what it means, how are we supposed to know? Hehe another amazing installment!

Thanks for sharing it,

cheers

lol. Thanks. Maybe he'll figure it out next chapter.

Originally Posted by memorex414

Gavin is changing in subtle ways and it's intriguing how this will affect Blake and Gavin's relationship. On a personal note I've been delving into the philosophical and psychological aspects of history trying to uncover the mysteries that always keep nagging (I need to take a break from reading) at me and I'm beginning to understand that it is truly the insignificant moments in a life that can have the most profound influence.

I agree with that, def.

Originally Posted by redroger11

And I finally saw the reason for a very small toy. The children of Alphas are also very small, because by the time they are ten years old they are just over six foot tall. That would help them in rearing their own children and teaching them to love the little ones. An Excellent survival technique when they have modified their bodies to get bigger, but their children still get born of a small size.

That's actually a part of the world building that always bothered me. I never could ret con the fact that Alpha kids were that much smaller than their parents.

Originally Posted by MAZIVKAROLY

Incisively and shrewdly well-written. Many thank you's and kudos!

Originally Posted by nvb2

Thank you, Rowan, for another wonderful chapter of your work!

It was a really good chapter for me. I think the next chapter's going to be pretty good, too.

Originally Posted by Giga_Huge5000

I suppose when you have someone like Blake, who proves himself to be more than the ordinary toy, paired with someone like Gavin, who has a powerful devotion to his Earther from watching him all his life, you get a bond that slowly breaks through the social norms of a society. That would explain Gavin's slowly changing over the course of the story viewing Blake as a persona and not an object.

I think they're both really good people, and (along with Jesse Winter) Blake's probably my favorite character of mine so far. Oh, and Azra too. For some bizarre reason I *adore* Azra.

Originally Posted by ldaniel13

It always makes my day whenever I see that you have written something new.

Thanks,

Luke

Makes my day to hear that.

Originally Posted by tagsnola

Looking forward to what comes next.

Same here. lol.

Originally Posted by OnyxFaith

It really is coming along very well Rowan.

Thanks, I try. This story makes me nervous because there are a lot little details to keep track of.

Originally Posted by cesarvillavi

I don't know how you do it Rowan, but every time you write, every chapter is better than the last one, yet it's just as great...

lol. It's wracking. Even though I don't post a chapter until *I* like it, there's still no telling how the readers will like it. So far, I've been really lucky in that respect.

[Adam]

Originally Posted by Rowan

lol. It's wracking. Even though I don't post a chapter until *I* like it, there's still no telling how the readers will like it. So far, I've been really lucky in that respect.

It's NOT luck, Rowan; it's your great skill at writing. THAT'S why people like the chapters of your stories.

[Rowan]

Originally Posted by Adam

It's NOT luck, Rowan; it's your great skill at writing. THAT'S why people like the chapters of your stories.

Thank you.

[Wii]

I'll have to agree with Adam only reason why I came to this forum was to read you're stories. Although I have come across some amazing authors on this forum, your still my favourite.

[redroger11]

Questions an Earther would like answered, please.

~~~~~
1. Where are all of the Adult Alphas? Blake hasn't seen one yet. Surely Gavin's parents love him. Why haven't they visited his new apartment? Why hasn't Blake even gotten a glimpse of an Adult Alpha when Gavin takes him to school or the Toy shop?

~~~~~
2. What happens to Gavin and Blake in the next and last "Transition"?

~~~~~
3. Haven't any of the previous Toys asked to get more information about Jascian Society? If Toys continue living with Alphas, after Second Transition, haven't they ever wanted to know more about the world they are in and actually:
learn the language,
access the Jascian Internet system,
read Jascian Texts,
or even watch the Jascian form of the news?

~~~~~
4. When did Alphas stop loving Betas? Or Gammas for that matter. The idea that Gammas are allowed even less time for themselves than Betas, after being kidnapped into an alien's service, used to assist in Two Alpha Transitions, and then the remaining Gammas are told, "Thanks for the help but we found something better. Now get to work."

Knowing the system used to identify the proper kind of person to be used as an Alpha Toy, it seems a bit cruel for these people, who can and do love their Alpha; to one day be told as a people, that they are no longer good enough. That they can stay and serve Alphas as servants. But they will no longer be loved as they once were, in the role as Toy. And being a people that are not as advanced as Alpha's, they don't even get the chance to just be left alone. Every day a bit more for their noses to be rubbed in. And no one to stick up for them. No one in power that loves them anymore. They are Betas or Gammas. Less.
~~~~~
What does a Toy do when the love is taken away?
~~~~~
And do Alphas dream of Delta sheep?
~~~~~~~~
The Velveteen Rabbit became real because his boy loved him so much.
I keep getting this feeling that the Jascian Toy is a Beta.
~~~~~~~~

~~~~~
5. In your story, Alphas can still use Betas for transition. What is the actual need an Alpha has for a Transition Mate? Have there ever been Toys that were opposite sex to the Alphas? And are there any Alphas that accidentally went through Transition alone?
~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"The time has come," the Walrus said, "to talk of many things..."
But Alice never got that tall, or grew a pair of wings.
I wonder where this story goes, or if it's just a fling.
Is it to be, or not to be; you are the Jascian King.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Please Keep Writing.

redroger11

[Mass Driver]

I know your writing schedule must be hectic. Now that you have a few publishers handling your work, it must be hard to find the time for the stories that you posted freely on the internet. But we still love them, whether we've gone to your website to purchase them or we wait here for another chapter. I just hope your Muse tickles your fancy in regards to this story. And of course I hope that you...
Keep Writing.

MD