Muscle TF: Rate for friend

[Brave_Wolfie]

I'm posting this for a friend since the people on CYOC aren't exactly the quickest in giving advice. If you could send your opinions of my friend's work to her on CYOC, that'd be awesome. I guess I could send it to her too, but it'd be easier than relaying crap. Her name is Click_Flash on CYOC. This is her first TF sequence, I think it's pretty good for her first time.

OKAY! So here is my very first attempt at muscle growth. Since no one took up my request, I figured I should at least try it myself. You know, instead of spending my time writing up lengthly posts to beg people to help me, I could just use that very same WHINING TIME to make up my own muscle growth thing. If you have ten or so minutes, please read it. I know it's not too detailed (since I am not familiar with the male body or the muscular system... Yeah, bad quality to have when it comes to muscle TFing). I also fail at English, so there might be a lot of grammatical errors (I only spell checked this thing!), so if you see any, PLEASE point them out.

Criticism would be really nice to give! If it sucks, please don't beat around the bush. Just say "it sucks" so I know to give up and just let the pros do it. If ya got it ya got it. You can read the little summary below for the events that happened before the change, or just jump to the quote to read my large text wall.

Summary of preceding events: Ty sees this weird humanoid beast in school named Kai and decides to pursues him, only met with grief by this beast of sorts. Ty still proceeds to follow him and learns a bit more about him, like that he is actually a "Tiger Demi-Human", which is like a human but with differently shaped ears, sharp teeth, a tail and tons of strength. He learns that Kai only acts aggressive towards Ty due to what Ty is, which is explained that another wizard like Ty ruined his Dad. By ruined, I mean he turned his once proud and strong father into a small mass of bones and flesh; basically weakening him beyond belief(the dad's name is Gavin). After hearing this, Ty decides to help Kai. There's idle chatter that give some insight to what Kai is, along with defining Ty and Kai's friendship a bit. When Ty finally sees Gavin, he is mortified. Sure he changed his step dad into a old man and his step mom into a bitch, but at least they could live out their miserable lives - which is what miserable people barely deserve. However, Gavin was supposedly a good guy, so Ty feels compelled to help him no matter what - regardless of how hard it might be since Ty is pretty new to the changing game. So then... *read below~*


Quote:
Ty studied the picture of Gavin ad Kai for a minute as Kai studied Ty from behind? In the non-perverted way, of course. He noticed Gavin was larger than Kai, and a bit more hairier too. He was also incredibly strong and obviously outgoing, since he was in a speedo flexing his arms whilst his son Kai was in a normal bathing suit with his arms crossed. Ty also noticed that Kai was smiling, which he though ol' Poker Face Kai was incapable of doing. There were a few thoughts rolling through Ty?s head, most of them commenting on Gavin's and Kai's physic. They were sure impressive, especially for people who were probably all natural in the muscle department. Ty figured all the Tigers were built like this. He quickly shook those thoughts from his head before they developed into something a bit riskay.

Ty closed his eyes to concentrate, then opened them, revealing glowing emeralds for irises. With that, the skeleton began to move. At first, one would assume nothing was happening. But upon closer inspection, one would notice the slight changes in Gavin?s appearance. The man?s skin was tightening and darkening, followed by tiny follicles of hair forming in the now-stable pores covering the man?s body and head. Beads of sweat could be seen forming before they slowly rolled over Gavin?s body.

Next came the height, which should be about three feet added onto the short thing that was Kai?s father. The stretching of the man?s neck, torso, arms, groin and legs made him clench his teeth as air seethed out from his changing frame. It must?ve painful to have previously stagnant joints, muscles and ligaments stretch along with the underused bone structure. A minute or so passed before Gavin?s reached his old stature. The bed he rested in seemed to be the right size now, length wise that is. The clothes he wore also seemed a bit too small; meaning they probably belonged to Kai since he was a bit shorter than his dad.

Then came the hardest part, Ty had to reshape his muscular structure since his current one was totally askew and could not be used to support his old muscles. It wasn?t exactly a hard task, rather, getting the extremely precise definition of Gavin?s previously chiseled body was. First Ty had to build up the mass, which surely there was a lot of it. Ty didn?t know where to start, but usually starting from the bottom and working your way up would work for most building projects- so why not this?

Gavin?s calve muscles, along with all the muscles in his thigh began ballooning out until a choir of grunts, pants and sounds of tearing attire rang out. The groin and hip area was easy, since it just needed to be widened slightly followed by some muscle mass in the buttocks and the pelvis parts, along with the lower abdomen. The balloon effect kept spreading throughout Gavin?s body, causing a strange sensation of extreme heat, discomfort and strange pleasure to sweep his senses. His chest looked silly, taking the form of a halved barrel whilst his abdomen was just a flat plate of muscle that could no longer be covered by the raggedy shirt. His neck widened a bit and his face seemed to fill out more ? becoming broader and more masculine like it looked in the picture. Ty even made sure to add the goatee he had before moving onto the final phase.

Ty approached the bed a bit more to view his handiwork so far. He was quite satisfied with what he saw, not only because Gavin was beginning to look like himself, but because this Tiger seemed to be furrier, harries or whatever? Just as Ty always pictured a Tiger Whozawhatzit should look like. Ty glanced over his shoulder to see Kai, and was surprised how calm he seemed. Ty thought Kai would be happy or excited or something to see his father being returned to normal, not to mention the sight of it all happening was something spectacular and slightly awkward. But nope, the young Tiger just had his generic mask on, eying Ty as Ty eyed him? Not unsettling at all!

Ty touched Gavin?s stomach with his finger and began tracing around the flat slab. The flat slab reacted by caving in where it was touched, forming a mighty eight pack of sorts; an inhumanly solid core, if you will. After Ty got a hang of defining Gavin?s muscles manually, he figured he should do it without contact to speed up the process. Especially since Gavin seemed to be much sweatier than Ty had expected. His pectoral muscles ballooned forth from his deformed chest, slowly shaping into hard square slabs of meaty muscle. His neck also tightened a bit, revealing various veins. His thighs seemed to deflate a bit as they concentrated into a tighter mass, revealing even more veins upon this large man?s frame. Lastly, Ty noticed Gavin?s arms form into a shape resembling two large hills, which was, as he would?ve guessed, covered in veins.

Ty stepped back, grinning at his accomplishment. He was sure Gavin was back to normal, or at least close to it. Both Kai and Ty watched as Gavin sat up in bed, flexing his arms and tensing up his legs, making his pecs do a little dance ? basically testing out all his muscles. Afterward a minute of ?playing with himself?, Gavin looked up at Kai. He began itching the back of his head and letting out a awkward laugh, as if he was saying ?Yeah? Uh? Thanks?? without getting too verbal. He was never much of a talker anyway. As to thanking Ty, he got up from the bed and gave him a hug ? lifting him off the floor and almost crushing the lil helper with his unfamiliar bulk. Ty reacted by having all the air forced out of him followed by a few grunts of pain. The Tiger, who took the hint, backed away and sniffed himself? He figured it was his body odor that was offending the human, and not his incredible strength. With out another action, he dashed out of the room to the bathroom to clean himself up, he didn?t want to seem rude after all!

?So? Bleh?? Ty said, repulsed by the amount of sweat that stuck to him. His entire front was covered with it, including his face and hair.

?Heh, he was always better with doing things rather than saying them when it came to thanking someone. I got a change of clothes and I could get you some soap and a wash cloth to clean you up, if you would like.? Kai placed a friendly hand on Ty?s shoulder and gently guided him to Kai?s room downstairs before he could say yes or no.

?Er? Well, glad I could help anyway! Sure the sweaty part stinks and all, but at least your dad?s back to normal again.? Ty couldn?t help but smile, even with himself being drenched in some else?s sweat. They were now in Kai?s room, where Kai had his own bathroom. He led Ty to the sink and was about to walk out before Ty began speaking again. ?You know, it felt really good to help your dad??

Kai stopped in the doorway and turned around to respond, ?Why is that??

?Well it?s like a good deed or somethin?, you know? Imagine, I could use my talents to help out people like your dad, or punish those who use their power to bully others! It?s sort of a weird adrenaline rush-? Ty stopped talking as he began splashing his face with water whilst applying soap to his face.

?Yes, that seems like a fine way to use your talents?? Kai smiled as he fully turned around and crossed his arms. ?For a human, you?re not so bad, Ty. I am really glad I met you? Though you are kind of eccentric? But I have no room to talk, now do I??

?No, I believe you do not my good sir.? Ty retorted, trying to mimic Kai?s way of speaking. It was terribly executed, but both of them laughed anyway.