humiliation

[hulkoutlvr]

Tonight was my first night with the personal trainer. He was very sweet and patient, but let's just say that my first training session was a bit of a car crash.

He was interestingly surprised at my inability to look in mirrors. And, gads, there are mirrors everywhere in the gym!

I did everything I could until I reached failure, which turned out to be a joke. I did 30 pounds on chest presses, 3 sets of 12 reps.

I did 30 or 40 on back, 3 sets of 12

I did 30 on biceps and 40 on triceps, 3 sets each with 12 reps in each set.

All around me, big guys were benching huge amounts of weight and here I was, struggling to do so little. I wanted to run out. My trainer was very patient and sweet, and says he likes working with me. He said he started out very overweight and understands where I'm at as far as not looking in mirrors. But still, the humilation didn't do much for my efforts to "man up"

I'm going back on Wednesday, and in the meantime, I'm continuing with my cadio, at least 45 min a day.

Just thought I'd let everyone know how the first day went. I'm a bit embarrassed, and didn't know what to say to my trainer, to apologize. I just made another appointment, said I'm looking forward to it, and left.

However, if I can't do anymore next time than I did tonight, I dont' think I'll look forward to it. I need a motivating buddy, like I used to have.

[jmz1]

Hey, I think it's great that you are taking the right steps and working hard in the gym. I believe the most you can do is your best, and that's all anyone can ask of you. I think you should be happy that you are working hard to accomplish your goals! I am happy for you! I think a problem you may be having is that you are comparing yourself to some other people. If that is the way you like to think, let me tell you that you are probably far better off than me and many other people! Overall, just enjoy exercise as a hobby. You will grow to love it in time!

I also hate the mirrors. I asked my friend why there had to be so many mirrors in the gym!? He said it's good to check your form. I guess they are alright for that reason.

I want to wish you the best of luck! Stay determined and focused.

[arpeejay]

Every single one of them started somewhere. They were skinny or they were overweight or they were a perfectly average size and totally out of shape.

The point is, they started! And, NOW, so have you! At this point, it's just a matter of time and effort; that's the only thing that separates them from you, namely, they have spent more time and more effort. And you're one day AHEAD of the guys who haven't started yet.

Next time, look in the damn mirror. Not to put yourself down, but to see what it is you are actually doing, and whether it is what your trainer wants you to be doing.

xoxo

Richard

[TheMM]

Congrats Hulkoutlvr, you took your first step.

It's the hardest one to make, actually entering the gym that first time and working out, even amongst all these bigger and more experienced guys. But also, you're kinda lucky having bigger guys there. Think about this:

Bigger guys usually mean that they've gone to that gym for a long time, maybe they even started out in a similar manner to your trainer, inexperienced, unsure, and perhaps even a bit scared. (I remember my first time really trying to work out, I was damn timid.) But that also means they understand as well.

Remember, everyone started out the same way in this world...crying and screaming.

[DaBigGuy1]

Originally Posted by hulkoutlvr

Tonight was my first night with the personal trainer. He was very sweet and patient, but let's just say that my first training session was a bit of a car crash.

He was interestingly surprised at my inability to look in mirrors. And, gads, there are mirrors everywhere in the gym!

I did everything I could until I reached failure, which turned out to be a joke. I did 30 pounds on chest presses, 3 sets of 12 reps.

I did 30 or 40 on back, 3 sets of 12

I did 30 on biceps and 40 on triceps, 3 sets each with 12 reps in each set.

All around me, big guys were benching huge amounts of weight and here I was, struggling to do so little. I wanted to run out. My trainer was very patient and sweet, and says he likes working with me. He said he started out very overweight and understands where I'm at as far as not looking in mirrors. But still, the humilation didn't do much for my efforts to "man up"

I'm going back on Wednesday, and in the meantime, I'm continuing with my cadio, at least 45 min a day.

Just thought I'd let everyone know how the first day went. I'm a bit embarrassed, and didn't know what to say to my trainer, to apologize. I just made another appointment, said I'm looking forward to it, and left.

However, if I can't do anymore next time than I did tonight, I dont' think I'll look forward to it. I need a motivating buddy, like I used to have.

Hey Hulkout,

First off, I must say congratulations on making that first step! That first step is THE hardest, believe me! I am not sure if I told you this before, but my first time in the gym was abysmal as I went to the back of the gym with a 20 pound cambered small barbell in my hand and did curls for about 20 minutes. And it was the longest 20 minutes in my life. And when I left, I was glad to be out of there, but I also said that it was a first step and it would take time, so I grudgingly went back a second time. And a third,,,and now here it is 20 plus years later. So, yes, that first day is a toughie, but it is a start, a GOOD start!

And you say that the 30 pounds that you used were a "joke", and no, I say they were a "start", plain and simple. You know the proverb "the journey of a thousand miles begins with one step...."? It's true. Don't be hard on yourself, be determined. And no matter who is working out beside you, remember one thing...you are there for YOU, you have nothing to prove to anyone but yourself.

As far as the mirrors, well, they are not a prerequisite to training. I myself, believe it or not, hardly ever look in the mirror when training unless it is to make sure I have the form down on a particular movement. Although I have been lifting for so long it is almost second nature. And your trainer understood how you felt about the mirrors, so that is good. And he is the trainer....there to support you and show you the ropes as far as your training, the different movements, etc etc. So, actually there is really no need to apologize.....I know for me, if the client is motivated that is a breath of fresh air, regardless of how much weight you are moving.

All in all, I again say, congratulations! And remember, for motivation we are all here and rooting you on. And remember that with each set, each rep......

Now, get that good rest and recuperation and get ready for that next step!

Ron IIII---IIII

[ActionBastard]

Everyone starts somewhere, and it's never with a 300 pound bench press.

I've always been really tall and athletic looking but have no real interest in sports. So you can imagine everybody has an opinion on just how strong/fast/big I should be. Thinking I should be lifting this, I should be able to do more was, I know now, was an enormous waste of time. Instead of focusing on doing what I could do the best I could and moving on, I would hesitate, half ass it, or be afraid to ask someone to work in, or for a spot or just leave when it wasn't going the way I wanted.

Eventually you realize, no one really cares what you're doing, you're doing better than all the people who aren't at the gym at all, and that you're lifting for you, not everyone else.

I've had plenty of embarassing moments but they've never kept me out long, and if you stay in the gym it won't be long before someone else is the new guy and struggling.

One time when I first started I was doing bench presses on the smith machine. So i squeezed out a set or two of 180 or whatever it was I was doing. Getting tired, when I racked the bar, I didn't do it correctly. the end of the hook was sitting on the peg, not curving around it. So I'm breathing hard, laying on the bench and then I hear, "click" the bar fell, not onto the stops, but back into the lifting range and I had just enough time to get my forearms up before it landed on my chest. It was loud, hurt like hell and several people ran over to help. Mercifully, I got it off before they go there, but I had big red welts across both forearms. I stayed there another twenty minutes and then ran out.

Then later, when I first started squatting seriously, I had 300 pounds on the bar and was getting toward the end of the set. Well long story short, I got stuck at the bottom. So I've accepted the fact that my spine is going to fly out of my back when I start to tilt backward slightly. So in the eternity it took me to fall I'm coming to terms with being decapitated by the bar and then. BOOM! Two hundred plus pound me, and the three hundred pound bar hit the floor, this gym is on the second floor and I'm sure everyone in the building felt it. So I take a couple seconds to write in pain as people start running to help. Then I got up, told a half dozen people I was in fact, okay. Then broke down the bar and ran out of there.

But I was back a couple days later.

[arpeejay]

Leg press machine, Better Bodies, Midtown Atlanta, Fall 1993.

Eight 45 plates on each side.

First rep goes up, comes down.

Second rep goes up, comes down.

Keeps coming down!

"Uh, guys!"

The two on either side of me hop up and grab the ends.

My knees resting on my chest, they give the weight a slight tug, I push, and POP...

Cracked a rib.

Hurt like hell.

Fortunately, nobody noticed but me. But I was seriously uncomfortable for about a week!

xxo

Richard

[BigSteve6ft3]

Hey hulkout,

I'll chime in and agree with the others here: It's great that you've taken that first step. Don't let the fact that you're a beginner get you down. Being a beginner at something is nothing to be embarrassed about. It doesn't matter what you set out to do, you've always got to go through that beginner phase. If you decided to take piano lessons, you'd walk in your first day and hear someone else making amazing music. Then it would be your turn, and you'd have to sit down and awkwardly plunk out "twinkle, twinkle, little star" or something stupid like that, making lots of mistakes along the way, and of course you'd feel a bit humiliated. But you've got to start someplace, and that someplace is never very impressive. The key is to keep at it, and you'll improve day by day, until, before you know it, others will be impressed with what you can do.

Now, as for your last comment, "However, if I can't do anymore next time than I did tonight, I dont' think I'll look forward to it," -- Don't set yourself up for discouragement by having unrealistic expectations. You'll probably lift more next time than you did tonight, but not necessarily. And if you don't, it's not anything to get down about. You might be a bit sore to begin with, so you might have more trouble your next session than you did your first time. But after a few sessions, you'll definitely start to improve. We all go through spurts of progress, interspersed with frustrating plateaus and setbacks. You can't let lack of progress on any given day be a source of discouragement. You've got to think long term, and just get in there and do what needs to be done, week after week, month after month. Noticeable improvements are bound to come, but over the course of weeks and months (and years), not days.

So congratulations on taking the plunge. Stick with it and you'll be rewarded. Good luck!

[Mdlftr]

Hulkout,

Good for you for taking that first step. I grew up in the late 60's through the 70's. Bodybuilding was just coming into prominence. Everyone was in awe of this "Arnold" guy and weren't sure what to make of him.

Flash forward to the 1980s: bodybuilding becomes more mainstream, straight, serious and not-so-serious lifters parade around proudly wearing pink stripped "lifting pants" and "do rags". I look, but don't lift. I'm too busy with school, starting a career, etc. Who has time?

1990s. Bodybuilding is still "cool". More guys do it as part of their routine. Mainstream media is still conflicted about "Muscle guys" and decides "they're all on steroids" to make the average "joe-fat-slob/jill-fat-slob" feel better about their own inertia. I look, start lifting a little. The job, the family, all of it takes demands on my time. After all, what are my priorities?? End of the decade, I rupture a disc. Major pain, back surgery-- reward for a sedentary job (which goes away in a career reshuffle). I start working legs as part of PT. GREAT! Sporadic, but I finally feel like "I'm lifting". Still not completely sure of most of the exercises, and cannot find anyone I know who would want to go "work out" or "lift". I perserve, but make little progress (due later, I find, to inadequate diet, not enough training or rest, not targeting the right body parts in sequence.)

2000s. Bodybuilding falls off the radar. It's clearly a freak show, with Mr. O's who look like huge, bloated, Macy's day parade floats: Yates, Coleman, Cutler, etc. etc. Aesthetics be damned, size rules. "Normal" people have another reason to shun "bodybuilding". Steroid/diuretic/drug deaths are given ample coverage in the media: Lyle Alzado, Paul DeMayo, Mohammed Benazizi. I lift with the "best" trainer at the local Gold's. She's all about fitness and flexibility. She's the best trainer there, but she isn't the "warm and fuzzy" type - hard to bond with, doesn't really share my goals of "getting more muscular". She thinks I should focus on "core body strength and getting more toned." I think, "yeah, BUT..>!" I still feel frustrated, and feel like I STILL don't have a good idea of what I'm supposed to be doing. I drift away from working out with her, feeling guilty at my "lack of committment."

A year or two later, a job change later, more pay, great benefits and stability, I'm reading the local gay paper (what, straight people don't check out what's around?) when I see an ad for a gym that specializes in personal training. I read about it, check it out online, figure, "Hey, if anyone would care or know about working out to look better, it'd be a client who's trying to look better for other guys," so I go check it out. Great vibe! Very friendly, gay and straight centric. Everyone's cool. Everybody's there to work out and become the best they can be. Prices are steep, but service is excellent. Staff knows the clients are fitting in workouts around incredibly hectic and busy schedules. They respect that, as they push you to the limits. And I'm getting results! Suddenly, I have a trim waist, and pecs! I learn how to flex 'em and feel 'em when I lift, do push ups, flyes, whatever. My thighs grow, and my hamstrings bulge out and are firm, rather than sunken and flabby. Especially on leg days, I wake up in the morning with wood like a forest-- like I haven't felt in years!! Great! Then I get a diagnosis-- serious surgery needed due to rare, "life-comes-at-you-fast" condition. Before surgery, I up the workouts, going into surgery in great shape. In the recovery room, they can't believe how strong I am, pulling myself up, walking soon after surgery, recovery ahead of schedule. Home to recuperate for two months, then back to the terrific job. Things are great, I'm looking forward to getting back to the gym, then BOOM. Post surgical complication -- blinding headaches, controllable with medication. Completely expected, completely controllable, but make any Pressure situation (lying back on a bench and pressing up. Heck, even doing a push up) on the head causes serious pain. I'm told "this will resolve itself within a year after surgery" but until then, take it easy on "streuous" activity. I walk, I watch my diet, I flex my pecs when I can, missing the gym. I do lose some size, but I do also lose fat. My waist is still smaller than my chest, with no "middle tire", and I still have noticably bulging tris, bis and pecs. My thighs still swell out sideways, and my hams are still bulging out. I haven't worked out in months, but my body remembers! And I keep telling myself how much "I want to get big".

So that's where I am now. It seems to be working. Just remember, life is a journey. I'll be back, and so will you.

Best,

Mdlftr

[DragoniteXY]

Wow, a lot of good answers here .

Remember - everyone had a start. This is the opposite of marathon - it's the hardest at the beginning, when you feel small, weak and insecure. Keep in mind that things will get better in time and try to relax.

Hey, I killed a few dozen fishes before I learned how to be an expert aquarist. I remember, back in the days, deleting Office 97 Paperclip Assistant because it looked 'suspicious', and now I know how to install OS... we all had a start.

My first day at the gym (back in '96) - I was so scared, it looked like everyone is judging me (in reality, no one was even looking at me), I was chubby and couldn't benchpress more than 45 pounds. After 2 months, guy told me in the locker room 'dude, you look so much better now compared when you first started'. After 6 months, I was one of the regulars. After 2-3 years, I was one of those big dudes! But it had to start somewhere.

Don't stress yourself, the results will come in due time .

[hulkoutlvr]

Wow,

Guys thank you so much for all the encouragement. Yes, I'm sore as hell (I think now on the second day after the workout, even moreso), and a little discouraged, mainly because I was able to do so little the first time. But I will get better. I may just have to use machines, because I have an impaired grip and I have trouble stabilizing free weights.

My muscles have a really tight feeling right now, it's almost hard to move them. Is that normal?

[arpeejay]

Originally Posted by hulkoutlvr

My muscles have a really tight feeling right now, it's almost hard to move them. Is that normal?

Totally normal. The answer is:

Stretch, baby, stretch!

They'll still be sore but they'll get unsore faster.

Also:

Stick to the free weights. The balance and stability and grip will come with time; just using machines will do nothing to help those attributes, all of which are important in developing strong muscles.

And, yeah, I feel it more on the second day after a workout. I think that has something to do with that factor that starts with "a," ends with "e," and has a "g" in the middle.

xoxo

Richard

[WhoDunIt]

Just Keep It Up Man, who knows, you may have to break out your "fat" clothes for a whole new reason

[inflated]

Nothing worth doing is easy at first, you will feel some soreness and stiffness within two days of pursuing a new exercise routine. Eventually the soreness will not feel so extreme. Some hints, stretching is important after lifting but not before lifting--stretching before cardio and after is important. Keep your fluid intake high and eat a banana to keep potassium levels high. Stick to the free weights if you can the balance and proprioception that you get from lifting free weights is very valuable---use a spotter if you are concerned. Do not worry about who you are impressing or not--do it because its good for you, the fact that you are in the gym puts you ahead of the majority of Americans.