Embarrassed?

[wires!wires!]

I workout regularly and have full support of my family and boyfriend but they and others have made it clear that they hate guys what are "too buff". I would love nothing more than to become one and have the determination but the reactions from everyone around me is very unmotivating. Is anyone else embarrassed about wanting to be a muscle freak?

[geo07]

I wouldn't say "embarrassed," but I definitely know how you feel. The first time I mentioned working out to my mom, and showed her a website that showed the kinda goals I wanted, she quickly replied, "you don't wanna look like that, do you?" which threw me off guard, since I not only thought the guy was hot, but very much wanted to look like him. It's quite possibly the only lie I've ever lied to my mother. Anyway, now I don't really tell people my goals at the gym, and am rather vague. However, I do still plan on getting big, and as it will not be an overnight thing (unfortunately haha), I'm hoping it just sneaks up on them and they just get used to my new size

[helliot]

I think that's the right approach, geo07. Natural growth speeds will give everyone in your life time to adjust. And it's not like you're going to walk into the kitchen in posers, bronzed, and competition-ready all the time.

[backmask]

We're put in a tricky position because some of our biggest goals in life are directly reflected by our physical appearance and, as we have all noticed at some point, people take note of it and it can be embarrassing to be called out on something that we love. So many times I've been asked things like "Why do you want to get big?", "Why do you work out so much?", "How big do you want to get?", and of course I've been told, by my own mother among many other people, "Please don't get too big.".

For the questions, I've learned to just be vague. "I like working out, it's fun." "Being at the gym makes me feel healthy." "I'm not sure how big I want to get, I just enjoy working out.". As long as people get some kind of answer they tend to shut up.

I do tend to get offended when someone says "please don't get too big" though. It's like they're telling me "I don't want you to be very good at what you like to do.". I of course never make that argument, and if anything it gives me more drive. I usually just follow it up with "I'm not sure how big I want to get...blahblahblah".

What helps with motivation is finding like minded people. The guy I'm seeing and I found a lot of common ground on our desires to get bigger. His goals are more modest than mine but we both support each other in getting huge. Also, a lot of guys at the gym are all about getting bigger. I personally hate socializing at the gym, but if you want an environment that motivates you it's pretty hard to beat a gym.

[BIGJOEY]

well most people dont understand because they can't do it. We tend to critize what we aren't capable of doing ourselves. if you want to do it then go for it. It's your body and you own it. Do what makes you happy and want you wanto look like. It's better than being a 300lbs pig. god knows there are tons of them any more.

[Lucas88]

Originally Posted by BIGJOEY

well most people dont understand because they can't do it. We tend to critize what we aren't capable of doing ourselves. if you want to do it then go for it. It's your body and you own it. Do what makes you happy and want you wanto look like. It's better than being a 300lbs pig. god knows there are tons of them any more.

A lot of people don't understand wanting to get big because they just don't understand. It's just not something they want to do so they can't understand why you would want to. Getting big, for a lot of guys, is about building self-confidence. Getting big, for others, is simply getting off on the physical rush of the activity or the high of FEELING their accomplishments every time they move a muscular arm or take a deep breath and feel their shirt tighten. For a lot of guys, it's both. Help the people that just don't understand by letting them know how good it makes you feel about yourself and physcially. Most of all, let them know that getting big is something that's important to you whatever your reasons. If they care about you, they'll come around and support you whether they ever really understand or not. Acceptance is the next best thing to understanding.

BUT, I agree with BIGJOEY. The ones who are the most critical or are even mean spirited about you getting big tend to be the ones that just don't have what it takes TO get big. All it takes is a desire to want something...but...to actually achieve the body you want it takes setting realistic goals and then the motivation, drive, and discipline to actually achieve those goals. A lot of people just don't have what it takes to get where they want to be and you remind them of that by working so hard to get what you want. SCREW THEM! They don't deserve your embarrassment and they SURE as hell don't deserve that power over you. Do what makes you happy...period. The others will help you or they need to get out of your way.

[Mdlftr]

Originally Posted by wires!wires!

I workout regularly and have full support of my family and boyfriend but they and others have made it clear that they hate guys what are "too buff". I would love nothing more than to become one and have the determination but the reactions from everyone around me is very unmotivating. Is anyone else embarrassed about wanting to be a muscle freak?

YES I totally agree with your comments. I have had the exact same experience. I have a "white collar" job in a white collar profession, and people would look at me like I have two heads if I talked "too much" about wanting to work out and get bigger! I just do it, and come here for inspiration!

Mdlftr

[Stoneman]

Hells yeah, I am embarrassed by it. It's probably part of why I didn't start working out in earnest till I was in my 20's. I can still count the number of real friends I have intimated with this passion on one hand. People would laugh if they knew this was what I wanted to be.

[sergel02]

Originally Posted by backmask

We're put in a tricky position because some of our biggest goals in life are directly reflected by our physical appearance and, as we have all noticed at some point, people take note of it and it can be embarrassing to be called out on something that we love. So many times I've been asked things like "Why do you want to get big?", "Why do you work out so much?", "How big do you want to get?", and of course I've been told, by my own mother among many other people, "Please don't get too big.".

For the questions, I've learned to just be vague. "I like working out, it's fun." "Being at the gym makes me feel healthy." "I'm not sure how big I want to get, I just enjoy working out.". As long as people get some kind of answer they tend to shut up.

This is sorta my story as well. I hate to say it but i workout in secret. not that no one is around, but that i don't tell my family i'm going to the gym or exercising. Makes it a lot harder. I don't really tell my friends either, because we all feel its something we all have to do so nothing to really talk about.

I definitely am vague a lot. My goals aren't even to get huge or anything, just healthier and a better body. I personally hate the attention that my family puts on my body, because i am slightly overweight, and when i was a kid that drew some attention, making me uncomfortable.

Finding even one friend who you can talk to or work out with must raelly be helpful.

[digger]

Originally Posted by Lucas88

A lot of people don't understand wanting to get big because they just don't understand. It's just not something they want to do so they can't understand why you would want to. Getting big, for a lot of guys, is about building self-confidence. Getting big, for others, is simply getting off on the physical rush of the activity or the high of FEELING their accomplishments every time they move a muscular arm or take a deep breath and feel their shirt tighten. For a lot of guys, it's both. Help the people that just don't understand by letting them know how good it makes you feel about yourself and physcially. Most of all, let them know that getting big is something that's important to you whatever your reasons. If they care about you, they'll come around and support you whether they ever really understand or not. Acceptance is the next best thing to understanding.

BUT, I agree with BIGJOEY. The ones who are the most critical or are even mean spirited about you getting big tend to be the ones that just don't have what it takes TO get big. All it takes is a desire to want something...but...to actually achieve the body you want it takes setting realistic goals and then the motivation, drive, and discipline to actually achieve those goals. A lot of people just don't have what it takes to get where they want to be and you remind them of that by working so hard to get what you want. SCREW THEM! They don't deserve your embarrassment and they SURE as hell don't deserve that power over you. Do what makes you happy...period. The others will help you or they need to get out of your way.

Hahahaha! I agree with you, Lucas (and Joey). Never thought you'd read those words, did you?

[dominicrue]

Originally Posted by sergel02

This is sorta my story as well. I hate to say it but i workout in secret. not that no one is around, but that i don't tell my family i'm going to the gym or exercising. Makes it a lot harder. I don't really tell my friends either, because we all feel its something we all have to do so nothing to really talk about.

I definitely am vague a lot. My goals aren't even to get huge or anything, just healthier and a better body. I personally hate the attention that my family puts on my body, because i am slightly overweight, and when i was a kid that drew some attention, making me uncomfortable.

Finding even one friend who you can talk to or work out with must raelly be helpful.

i'm so happy you said this. I'm the same way. I don't want working out to be a big deal but apparently it is. i'm finding that i'm pushing myself to get past it and just do it and fuck all who gives me shit.

For me, it has to do with focus. I stop worrying about my shadow and just do my thing.

[inflated]

Be proud that you are fitter and more dedicated to looking good than probably 95% of the population. Its not something to be embarrassed about it should be a source of pride.

[backmask]

Originally Posted by inflated

Be proud that you are fitter and more dedicated to looking good than probably 95% of the population. Its not something to be embarrassed about it should be a source of pride.

I completely agree. I may not be totally upfront with people when it comes to my ambitions in working out but almost everyone I know - friends, co-workers, and family - know I work out 4 or more days per week and usually right after work.

It's okay to be a little embarrassed about your goals. A lot of people are. But like he said, you should never be embarrassed that you're going to the gym and getting healthier, which is something a lot of people really can not say.