Muscle guys into Normal Size

[Dentistclark]

I'm a normal size guy whose obsessed with big muscle guys. I've loved muscle since I was in my teens but met precious few bbers into normal size guys like me. Have I been looking in the wrong places? Is it just me? Any huge guys out there who like normal size guys? Tell me where......am I the only one?

[GROW4me]

We are in the same boat. Seems I like such a specific type of guy that I'll never find the needle in the haystack. Sometimes I think it would be great just to meet a guy who shares my interests in muscles and growth, even if he has a slim build like myself. At least we would be on the same page with this less-than-common fetish.

[worshipper]

I am downright slim & like being that way. However, I do definitely prefer muscle men (the bigger the better). It's tough, but there is the odd muscle man who is into guys who are not also big & muscular.

[nzbodybuilder]

I think you guys already realise, but I'm going to say anyway. You are looking for a specific type of guy, and BIG muscle guy, so do not be suprised when the object of your desire is also looking for big muscle.

I am a big guy myself, and I have had many smaller guys complain to me that it's not fair that big muscle only seem to like big muscle.
I ask you this: would you date yourself? As in, a non muscled guy? And if the answer is no (which is often the case), then why do you expect bodybuilder/muscled guys to be interested in you?

However, it does happen. My boyfriend is not a bodybuilder (but keeps fit and goes to the gym on a regular basis), and is 45 kgs lighter than me. But there is more to relationships than just muscle.

[Mdlftr]

FWIW, the exact same thing happens to straight guys.

Media tells us that we "should" want a girl who looks like a Playboy centerfold: A girl with classically even features, large eyes, full lips, long, thick, lustrous hair, a lean body with full, curvaceous breasts and butt, and long, graceful legs. She should have beautiful, white, even teeth, a beautiful sincere smile and a loving and supportive personality. She should be smart, but not "too smart." Her world should revolve around you, but she shouldn't be "clingy." She should be strong and independent and make a good living, but she should not be a threat to you in any way: financial, physical or intellectual. She should "know how to have a good time" but not be a "slut." She should be "marriage material" or "just out for a good time", depending on where YOU are in your life.

Change the gender and it's the same thing with "muscular guys."

Real people are much more interesting.

Mdlftr

[Rarity]

I have plenty of gay friends, and I see this stuff all the time. Some are buff, some are fit, some are skinny, some are average. The buff/fit guys like other buff/fit guys, size isn't really the issue if the other guy is fit. Skinny winds up with skinny. Average winds up with average. Sometimes the weird inbetweeners cross paths. It makes sense, because that's the way it usually is in straight relationships too, y'know, unless money is involved.

So my only suggestion would to just workout and become fit if that's the only guy you really want. After all, if a man is going to work on his body and make his muscles larger, he would probably prefer a man who does the same. Not a guy who's ripped beyond belief, but a guy who shows signs of maintaining a very healthy lifestyle. Maybe there's some out there who like "normal" guys, but the amount would be substantially less than those who prefer other fit guys.

Physical attraction is the first part of getting the guy, while your personality is what keeps 'em there. The physical part plays a slightly bigger role for men (for obvious reasons), sooooooo. . . Hit them weights and buy some running shoes. It's not like it's a bad thing to get all healthy 'n' stuff. <_<

[phoenix]

I'm a bigger guy who has dated smaller guys, one of which was seriously into muscle.
He on the other hand, did no exercise, got tired out with bedroom activities and was very negative about gyms. Which I found very perverse. My ex's comments about gyms were quite derogatory and yet he was happy enough to enjoy the results.
I would say I prefer a toned, fit guy, who was smaller than me. But, the guys I've met seem to all say the same thing... "gyms? no way!"

In the end, our personalities were obviously going to conflict, because I wanted to be fit and strong and look good. He didn't consider this to be a priority and looking at him, the drive, the passion and ambition were just lacking.

So from my perspective, it's less to do with what they look like when we meet, but where they are headed. If they're working out, chances they're going to understand my absences to the gym, have similar drives and ambitions and can each look after each other.

Maybe I'm just a bit unusual?

JJ

[Dentistclark]

Interesting comments from all of the above and I understand all the points made. I do go to the gym 3 times a week and keep fit, just have no desire to get huge. I've dated a Bber before so understand the pitfalls and the benefits of dating someone so dedicated to their lifestyle. It just seems that the number of big guys who'll even look twice at someone smaller is very low. I understand the mindset, but considering the number of normal guys interested in muscle, you'd like to think the situation would be different. Just means I have to look and try that much harder!

[MonsterMash62]

Isn't this partially a question of whether or not you want to look like what you find attractive? I kind of suspect a lot of guys don't differentiate between what makes them feel sexy and what turns them on. I don't tend to much. I find muscles attractive and I like feeling attractive, erego I want to have muscles. Which is why I think big muscle guys are into other big muscle guys.(Sorry, more of a side note; just seems relevant to the discussion)

[worshipper]

Why don't us guy guys just start having sex with women as nature intended? Yuck you say? You are right! Some things about sex are hard wired such as how some of us guys prefer other guys. It's not really a choice (bi is different). Likewise, maybe it is also hardwired for some when it comes to body type no matter what the gender. For me it is. I keep fit alright (wear out a lot of bikes), but have no interest in lifting heavy weights to get big. However, I am also not interested in making love to myself (another slim guy). I realize that many big guys do enjoy making love to themselves (another big guy).

One thing I would never do is tell a muscle man to get skinny (be other than himself) just to increase his playing field or attract a particular man he likes. The same with myself. I will not lie by changing my body type just to net some big body by pretending to be something other than who I am. For me, the price of having less muscle men to choose from is worth it as I still get to be the me I like being. Hopefully, some muscle man will appreciate me for being myself.

[hulkoutlvr]

I'm an average sized guy, but I am interest in more than just the end results of the bodybuilding lifestyle. I would love to be with a bodybuilder (competitive or non) so that I could be a part of his lifestyle, to help him and encourage him. I've also always been intensely interested in the psyche of those who take their muscle seriously, I'd love to learn about what motivates them to do everything they do. Of course the end results are enjoyable, but for me it's about more than just the sex. But does that count for anything? Would a muscle guy take up with an average Joe, even though that average Joe might be able to make him very happy and support what he does? Is it really just about muscle liking muscle?

I hope all muscle guys are not that shallow.

[vlad]

I think I fall into this camp as well, but I was lucky enough to find a big guy who finds me really attractive, and we've been together for 6 years now. I'll say two things:

1. Accentuate your strengths. Ok, so you don't have big muscles... what about you stands out? Maybe you have a really handsome face, a lot of tattoos, a nice round bubble butt...whatever it is, show it off.

2. At the end of the day, a big part of it is luck. You're right, most bigger guys (whether it's big bodybuilders or big bear-ish guys) go for other bigger guys...but not all. It sucks to hear it, but part of it is getting lucky and finding one into smaller guys.

[Eager Muscle]

Are bodybuilders not into slimmer guys?
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Im not a muscular guy.. Can I still date bigger guys??
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Muscle for Muscle only?:
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do you guys look for muscle guys only:
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Question to all the buff muscle men:
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Do Muscular guys find slim guys attractive:
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How does a small slim guy attract a big muscled guy?:
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Do muscle guys like slim guys?:
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Are muscle guys attracted to thinner men?:
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WE TWINKS NEED LOVE TOO!!!!!!:
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Buff guys!:
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skinny versus muscular:
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Are bodybuilders not into slimmer guys... ?
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do you guys look for muscle guys only:
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Big guys who like Smaller guys:
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What do y'all think of thin/toned guys?:
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Slim?:
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Does slim do it?:
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Is dating impossible if you are NOT muscular?:
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Are HIV + Muscular Men More Susceptible To Being with Average Bodied Guy More Than HIV - Muscular Men:
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Does Muscle look for Muscle?
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[xboy]

So...uhmm..it's no possible to a normal guy meet and have dare and a relationship with a serius bodybuilder?

[EQQUS]

well, if it helps to the matter, I am way bigger than my boyfriend, he being pretty average and absolutely LOVING bigger guys. i dont mind being the bigger end in the pair (but i'd love being even bigger, but thats a given)

also. he smells really, really really good

[msclrough]

Getting big takes effort. Those that get big usually have a predilection for muscle or they wouldn't have bothered to get big themselves. Its easy to see this desire translate towards a partner.

It's also a matter of supply and demand. Big guys into little guys certainly exist, but there aren't as many of them as there are little guys into big guys.

[SmokeMyPole]

Um, me?
Don't get me wrong, I love a muscular man but I'm willing to overlook all of that for the right guy! Besides, things tend to get really kinky when I have a size advantage in the relationship, ehehe.

[FuzzyKB]

Originally Posted by Dentistclark

I'm a normal size guy whose obsessed with big muscle guys. I've loved muscle since I was in my teens but met precious few bbers into normal size guys like me. Have I been looking in the wrong places? Is it just me? Any huge guys out there who like normal size guys? Tell me where......am I the only one?

There is no set rule on this one. In my younger years before my life-partner made an honest man out of me I tended to date nothing but Bodybuilders and I never seemed to have any trouble getting what I wanted. I am also a total and complete top so that tells you something right there.

The largest problem in a mixed relationship is that partners who enjoy the company of a bodybuilder do not understand the quantity of work required to grow to that size and then to maintain it. I am now 60 years old and I look back on those days with great fondness while at the same time having a very realistic eye to the day to day problems the largest of these men encounter. I go through this with my own Son and when he really started training heavy he was educated up front on what to expect over time.

For the most part the larger guys that are gay or closeted and still want to play don't necessarily want a man that competes with them when you go out together, what they want is a person who is supportive of what they are doing and what they are trying to accomplish. They also, because of the work they have invested tend to be unhappy of potential partners sex or otherwise that are extremely "out of shape". You don't have to be one of their competitors, but remember that being morbidly obese is simply against anything and everything these men stand for. A person who is also underweight to the point of looking anorexic is something that they have trouble understanding because many of these men when they started were either fighting fat or extremely thin tendencies themselves. It is part of and wired into their brains that they did something and so can you. That is where the problem is.

Again I go back a long time, but three of the men I dated during those years modeled for Rip Colt. Great people and I had a great deal of fun in those years. In those years I was not fat, I was not thin, I was well toned and at 5'9" I averaged about 160-165 pounds and slowly made it up to 170. I was not huge by any means, but I did at least look like a gave a damn about my body.

My experience was not what many of you seem to have encountered. Also remember that things may have changed somewhat. If you are 45 in great shape and attractive the problem may be that the 25-year-old you are chasing simply cannot relate to you based on different life experience. If you are 45 and the person you are interested in has similar life experience with the exception of his physical interests then you should have in reality few problems.

At the same time YOU are going to have to make compromises simply because the time in the gym to him with rare exception is a sacred cow and cannot be sacrificed without an extremely good reason.

Study, learn about the day to day life of a large bodybuilder and if you know what their needs are going in the door and can provide romance while at the same time not compromising their goals you may just be their wet dream come true as well. My experience when watching others attracted to bodybuilders is that they want what they see but don't understand the work commitment and time commitments it took to get there. This is the predominating reason many bodybuilders date other bodybuilders.

[summerocket]

Originally Posted by SmokeMyPole

Um, me?
Don't get me wrong, I love a muscular man but I'm willing to overlook all of that for the right guy! Besides, things tend to get really kinky when I have a size advantage in the relationship, ehehe.

I heard that. haha I like to be man handled.

[Dentistclark]

Originally Posted by SmokeMyPole

Um, me?
Don't get me wrong, I love a muscular man but I'm willing to overlook all of that for the right guy! Besides, things tend to get really kinky when I have a size advantage in the relationship, ehehe.

Hey mate, count me in!

[ydt81]

Skinny guy here. I agree with Fuzzy KB main point--compatibility of interests is what makes a relationship function. Even when it comes to hookups, the same rules apply; the funny thing about muscles is that they are one of the few VISIBLE signs of how a person spends their spare time. Buff guys are drawn to each other probably out of physical attraction like everyone else, but when they approach each other, there's the assumption that they'll have some other things in common to keep the connection going. Even if they talk about bodies right off the bat, I imagine there's a difference between the compliment from a random guy and someone that looks similar to you. Think of the difference between a girl complimenting another's girl's body vs. a guy doing the same.. Even if said girl turns out to be a lesbian, the visual instinct makes one conversation more comfortable than the other because of the assumed shared experience.

And therein lies the catch. I'm not speaking for all fit, svelte dudes here, but of the various buff guys I've met and talked to, I've never had much in common with them. And hence it occurred to me: all the skinny guys that call big guy 'shallow' for only dating buff guys are just as shallow themselves.

I don't mean to be harsh--I've been skinny and shallow for a while too! But to put it bluntly, there's a *reason* you/we don't already know and hangout with several buff guys--and it's NOT just a matter of biceps size. If you're fit, you surely have a better chance of getting with these guys. But even then there's a thick line between 'keeping fit' and bodybuilding. It's only commons that people move in circles of their common interest: How many spelunkers do you know? Trapeze artists? What's the difference with Bodybuilders?

When I think about it, the only reason we want to know these guys anymore than the other men in the room is because of their bodies. (after all, if you met an hardgainer that lived the bodybuilding lifestyle all the way, but couldn't gain beyond 10 lbs, would you still be intrigued?).

It's natural to pursue people for physical reasons. But 'natural' drives aren't enough to build a relationship. If you don't really share enough interests with these guys to become at least a little more like them, I'd say you should change your expectations...or focus on getting a high-paying job and 'sponsoring' escorts to fulfill the need in the future.

Any other possibility of getting with a buff guy will depend almost entirely on what other interests you have in common with him.

So: a muscle guy who's into normal/smaller guys (just for the hell of it)?
Statistically unlikely, from what I've seen. BUT..

A muscle guy who volunteers at the hospital, and is possibly interested in other cool guys that volunteer?
Now THAT scenario doesn't seem so unrealistic. .


But again if you can't shake the itch--or don't want to-- and you have the resources to gain mass you should go for it while you still can. Lifting/eating the massive amounts I'd need to gain mass is just not my thing (I'm more of a yoga calisthenics guy) and I'm willing to accept the realistic outcomes that go with that. Besides better sex odds, BBing is not a natural impulse for me. Relationship-wise I'd be just as happy settling down with another [body-type adjective] guy that likes muscles, art, etc. the way I do. Attraction is kind of secondary to that, as even the hottest couple lose the physical spark after 2 years or so.

[Jocaflo]

Originally Posted by Dentistclark

I'm a normal size guy whose obsessed with big muscle guys. I've loved muscle since I was in my teens but met precious few bbers into normal size guys like me. Have I been looking in the wrong places? Is it just me? Any huge guys out there who like normal size guys? Tell me where......am I the only one?

Okay, I have also seen this movie before, lol. I don't mean to say that all bodybuilders lack brains. Not at all, but it's clear that most of them don't have the time to refine their culture and to pick up mundane skills. So, if you can find a way to display a certain level of culture (no need to boast about that) and your mundane skills, you do have a greater chance to make yourself into a bait for them, if you see what I mean.

[Mdlftr]

O.k., as a straight guy with an opinion on everything, let me wade in here.

I totally agree with the whole "common interests" basis for friendships and relationships beyond, "Hey, howya doin'?"

I like to work out. I really admire big bodybuilders, especially guys with a good shoulder-to-wait taper, and I love big pecs and arms. I'm working on all of that for myself, as a matter of fact.

I work long hours and have a family, so I don't have time/have no interest in hanging out in bars to meet people. I want to meet muscular guys and talk about lifting and maybe hang out together. My odds of success are limited here, in large part because my family and my job are my priorities, and everything else comes a distant second. But, that's o.k., because that's what I want. Still, it would be nice to have a muscle bud to shoot the sh*t with and commiserate over how the lifting is going and compare progress notes. I don't hang around the gym, either, since I go, work out, and leave.

The result of all this is that opportunities to meet muscular guys are few, and I'm not helping it much by my priorities. O.k. I accept that, but still wish I could meet some new friends.

The other day I was in the local bookstore chain, Barnes and Noble, which is about the only bricks and mortar store left standing. I love to read. I totally relate to the quotation attributed to Erasmus, "If I have money, I buy books. If I have more, I buy food and clothes." I was in the mystery section and heading over to the videos, when I saw this absolutely huge guy from the back: 6 feet, easily 230 or more, big meaty forearms lightly dusted with blond hair coming out of his short-sleeved shirt, wide, shoulders, thick, barrel torso with blond hairs poking out of the neck of his unbuttoned shirt. He had a big, rounded squatter's butt, thick legs and huge chest where the pecs pushed against his short sleeved dress shirt. I goggled at his back, then decided to go into the section where he was, to "look around". As I walked in, he turns around, comes up to me, and asks, "Can I help you with anything?" He worked there. We then proceeded to have a great conversation for about 10 minutes about books and the films made out of those books. He was knowledgeable, funny and told me some information about favorite books that I didn't know before. What a find! After 10 minutes however, a female co worker came up to him and started yammering at him about something in another part of the store, so he had to leave. I moved on, also. It was a nice moment.

Mdlftr

[Dentistclark]

Mdlftr, you need to go back, he sounds cute, with brains too!

[Mdlftr]

Originally Posted by Dentistclark

Mdlftr, you need to go back, he sounds cute, with brains too!

Yes! The fact that it's a bookstore, means that I will absolutely be back!

Whether I'll see this guy again (and yes, I can objectively state, even though I have no interest in jumping his bones, he IS cute) is a crap shoot. I don't often see the same staff in the store more than two times in a row.....

I just got back in town from 10 days on the road in New England, and I'll admit I'm missing my usual haunts: the bookstore, the gym....

Back to the routine tomorrow!!

I'm psyched to get pumped!

Mdlftr