Sinister - Part I

[eov]

Hello everyone! I'm a really long time lurker( prob 2 years) I recently found out I was into muscle growth fetish and since then I've been reading so many stories online. I had this Idea for so long but only yesterday I had the balls to post it. This is my first story.

As the name says it's is going to be a long and Sinister story with some harsh words and don't expect the always happy ending. I have Tons of hot dark ideas for this story. I'm really trying to write on something new and refreshing . I'm not a first english speaker so excuse my grammar and spelling! Hope you'll like it, I had tons of fun writing this.

| PART 2 |

Sinister - Part I : The Arrival

- Dad no! Please! Begged Marvin
- Marvin, it’s enough! How old are you god dammit? He is my brother, that’s your uncle to you and yes they might not be closed to us but it would be rude to decline the invitation. We are going Period!

Marvin let out a big sigh and started to slowly accept the good “bad news”. His uncle Daryl, the black sheep of the family, has just invited Marvin and his dad Louis to spend the summer holidays with him in England. The first part of this news is good because Daryl lives in a gigantic old English Mansion. Nobody knows how he got the place or the money to buy it but he has been living in the castle for the past 15 years or so.
The bad news is that Marvin wanted to go to the Caribbean with some friends and that all this plan, he had been dreaming on for months, got cancelled in 5 secs.

However, the real reason why Marvin is not happy about this news is named Anatole.
Anatole is Marvin cousin or the son of Daryl. While Anatole does not look like a bad person he has a weird aura about him. He is constantly working on some hidden schemes and likes to keep quiet. Marvin and him never got along when they were kids as he somehow always managed to scared the crap out of Marvin. Can you imagine spending you summer in a rainy grey English summer with on top of that the creepiest weirdo of the world around the corner? This really looks like the setting of a sinister summer.

The plane flight from New York to London Was not that bad. Marvin had a lot of movie on his ipad and in 5 hours of flight he had plenty of time to check on the flight attendant. Marvin was not bad looking at all. At 17, he was not an overly build muscles jock, but the long hours of cardio and his extremely strict diet had gave him he body of a slim fit boy. He had short blond hair and the blue eyes of his mum. His gay friends back home use to call him the perfect twink but Marvin hated this because he knew it was true. No matter how tough and rough he tried to act, he stilled looked like your typical Eastern Europe bel ami twink.

Once in London and after the lanky process of custom, Marvin and Louis had to take a bus of 4 hours towards the south. You’d think this journey would be done right? No, once at the town of Kent, they had to take another 2 hours horse ride to the Castle of Uncle Daryl. All along the way Marvin couldn’t help it, he did not want to crash the party, but this all scenery in the middle of the British forest was so dark. He felt like someone or something was watching them. Someone or something that was full of bad intention but somehow he managed to stay at ease.

Uncle Daryl did not lie on the size of the Property. It was truly huge. When they arrived it was already night so Marvin couldn’t make out the entire size of the building but he could definitely see the shape of the gardens. Yes, gardens with a big ‘S’ as he could already see 5 different gardens from the entrance of the palace. As Marvin and his dad stepped out of the carriage a queue of at least 30 men servant lined in front of them without saying a word. His Uncle Daryl then appeared out of nowhere and started to greet them.

Uncle Daryl had not changed a bit. He was wearing a full black tuxedo that was hiding his middle-aged men shape. Daryl could have been 45 but he looked like a young 25 man at the top of his prime. Another mystery about the men, Nobody knew where his money came from and no body saw him a the gym either! He had a triangular strong face with some discreet and warm brown eyes. His hair was extremely curly and made him look like a fake Amish.

- My Nephew! Ah so handsome and you Louis! Ha so good to see both you, such a long trip! But I assure you that it will be worth it! Daryl said as he started patting Marvin on the shoulder.

And then step out Anatole. All small, probably around the 5ft2 mark, dressed in a ridiculous kid tuxedo, he was standing beside his dad and started looking down on Marvin even though they had not seen each other for 10 years. What A prick thought Marvin. Anatole might not be fat but he was extremely thin and scrawny. He looked like someone gone on a bad diet for a really long time. He had this way to comport himself that made him look like a straight arrogant douche.

He didn’t even bother saying Hi to Daryl and his dad. He just turned his back and disappeared in the Mansion.

Marvin was starting to get all excited about this place and he wanted to go exploring now at 11:PM but he knew what was going to happen. Louis was not a big fan of travels and he was completely exhausted. They both had a good meal on the plane and the horse car. Therefore after both had been escorted to their private bedroom, it was agreed that the family would talk more on the next morning.

Marvin was not feeling this plan at all. Louis fell like a rock on his bed without even touching to his baggage. However, Marvin went out to explore the castle. He was a bit scared to get lost but they were so many servants that he’ll never be alone. Anyway He had never be alone since the horse car travel, if only he knew…

While stumbling on a corridor that’s when Marvin received more than he could actually chew for. One of the paintings started Vibrating violently and in a matter of second a weird green gas starting to emanate from it. The painting was of a scary old woman eating what looked like a giant goose. She had one of the scariest face expression and look completely distorted by greed. The Gas started to undulate and made the shape of a weird drape silhouette.

Marvin did not know if the ghost could see him but this ghost lost no time and started floating slowly in a direction. This experience was so unreal that Marvin was about to shout but this could be the experience of a life time. Without even hesitating Marvin followed the ghost to an unknown room.

In the rom there was nothing except a strange bookcase. The ghost got sucked into a special book and left a weird eerie aura in the room. Marvin ran to the bookcase and tried to understand where it had gone!
He could not let it go! He tried to push on the bookcase but nothing was happening. He even tried to dance in front of it but still nothing. However when he grabbed the book the ghost disappeared in, the bookcase started vibrating and slided in a dry move to the right side.
Maybe it would have been a good idea to think about the situation and not jump in the new way opened before him. But young people always have to play the hero.
He started going down the stairs and ended up in a weird room with different markings on the floor.

-You idiot, you think I didn’t see the way you looked at him! Screamed Anatole from the top of his lung

-Sir I promised I was not looking at him, I wouldn’t dare! Was sobbing one servant at the feet of the scrawny little Anatole.

Marvin did not understand what was happening but he knew he had to hide somewhere as something big was happening here.

Anatole was about to slap the face of the servant but this one put his face in his hands to protect himsef. This move enraged Anatole so much that Marvin could see him change to a violent red scarlet shade in this poorly lighten room.

- How…. Dare…How dare you! Said Anatole in a small voice full of rage, you want to test me hu? You’re protecting yourself from me now?! I’ll have a potion and deal with you straight away.
At this moment the ghostly gas took the appearance of the scary old woman and she gave a small bottle to Anatole.

The servant started to cry even more and be started to grab one of Anatole shoe.
- And now you’re touching me? Started Anatole in a shocked voice, give me another potion! Now!
- My prince, I would not recommend it you could…. The old lady voice crocked in a whisper
- I said give me a second one before I change my mind and ask for 5 potions!
- Yes my prince

And another Potion Bottle appeared in his Hand.

Marvin Could not understand what was happening now. This whole situation looked so unreal! Anatole looked so small next to the servant crying at his feet. His face was torn between an arrogant smile and an expression of an unhealthy rage. He opened the small potion bottles and drank all of them in 1 gulp. He then threw the bottle on the side and started to back up from the servant. This one was getting even more agitating and begging Anatole to calm down more. He looked like he was about to be sentenced to death.

Anatole Looked completely fine. But as each seconds started to tick his arrogant smirk changed into a rictus of pain. Before Marvin could realise Anatole was shouting like a mad men. He first started in his usual scrawny pathetic little voice but soon his tone mutated into a freaky mutant deep baritone voice.

Anatole was now laughing like a mad man. His body was heavily shaking and he kept repeating something along” I’m going to teach you some manners”

Then some cracking noise started to pop all over Anatole’s Body. Huge balls of muscles started to expand in his entire frame. Soon he was growing up the the 6ft 10 mark and his body started to look like it was going on a super gym work out. His muscles exploded in every direction and he looked like a dangerous bodybuilder. Even the ghostly lady took a step back from the monstrosity.

However No matter how big he got everywhere his dick was still small as a tiny shrimp.

The servant was now completely scared for his life. He was crying and sobbing like a frightened child.

Anatole took no Time and rip him out his clothes. With no spit or no lube He completely impaled the servant on his small shrimp cock.
“That can’t be that bad” Though Marvin as Anatole’s cock was so small there was no way he would hurt something. But something was off.

The Servant Didn’t really say anything when Anatole impaled him. But now his face was started to take on another expression.

- Oh my. Oh my go…. God! Stooop, You’re… you’re going to rip me off let out the servant in a sob. He started to to pant loud and was tring to escape Anatole’s grip like a delirious man.
- Oh Yeah? Isn’t it more fun, Isn’t it more fun when my cock grows in your ass? I’d love to split you in tow!! Anatole laughed at the idea. Huuuuu Looks like my ding-dong is really starting to take some massive proportion in that ass, You better not brake on me bitch!
- Aaaaarhg, the servant was now agitating like a wild cat. “ I… I can’t take it stop make it stooooop! It hurt, Oh so big! Stop it! Have mercy please!
- And Imagine if I take a third bottle while I’m in your ass?! Laughed again Anatole

At this idea the servant went completely calm and silent. He knew that Anatole would have no remorse to do it and he would never survive that.
However Anatole didn’t calm down at this idea. He started pounding the ass of the servant so hard that Marvin thought the servant was going to die. Anatole was so loud. All this time he kept laughing and mocking the servant by making faces. He just kept going on, fucking the poor boy like a wild lion. His voice was so low; somehow it was turning Marvin on. He could feel the mocking and insult vibrate through his bones. All the time the abuse was going on, Anatole couldn’t help but taunt the poor servant

- That’s … what you get… That’s what bitches like you get for checking out my cousin!, Anatole shouted while pounded the living crap out of the servant.

At this moment Marvin had a weird sensation going through him. But this revelation made him do a weird movement and in less then a second the old woman and Anatole
Were looking at him. Marvin got really scared he thought about running but he knew he had nothing against the ghost old woman or the gigantic enraged Anatole. He Was Done !

Anatole did not seem to care though; he just grabbed the small servant with his hand and turned to face Marvin. He didn’t look happy while fucking the servant but now he looked like a completely enraged berkserker. His face took and even more evil tone and he grabbed the servant with more force. This time there was no kindness or slow motion in his trust. The servant was howling like a wolf while Anatole just kept daggering and daggering with his now huge cock. All of that while looking at Marvin straight in the eyes. All of that while smirking like a mean kid. Marvin felt that something was changing as he could see that Anatole/s huge balls were violently shaking. It kept going on for another minute before Anatole’s balls ballooned and expanded like 2 tennis balls. However as soon s the ball expanded they fell back on themselves and squeeze like you would squeeze a sponge. Anatole was Cumming.
There was nothing more grotesque then this scene. Anatole looked like he was having a wild seizure. He kept mocking the servant and pulling faces. He was laughing and throwing insult in a pure mix of euphoria. He was still trusting in the servant ass but slowly was returning to his scrawny little child self.

Marvin was not dumb; he knew the potion was somehow warning off. With the old lady still fixed on him, the servant completely gaped ands paced out in a pool of semen, and Anatole slowly stumbling up….
Marvin Knew it was his cue to leave and ran for his bedroom. He had seen enough for the night.

To Be continued...

| PART 2 |

[TemptationIV]

Wow!!! Can't wait for more!

[eov]

Originally Posted by TemptationIV

Wow!!! Can't wait for more!

Thank you! I'm glad you liked it but now that I am re reading it, I'm not happy with the quality of it. However I'm so inspired for the next chapters, this is just the beginning =)

[graniteknighte]

Do check your grammar and English to make sure everything agrees as it should.

[rododoro3]

Originally Posted by graniteknighte

Do check your grammar and English to make sure everything agrees as it should.

I liked it quite a lot, but, um...
I agree with granite.
A great plot with realistic, believable characters isn't all you need for a story.
I'm not usually this bothered by errors, but... You had quite a few.
This is the point I usually offer to proofread, but unfortunately, I'm doing a huge translation project right now, so I don't have the time
I'll just quickly touch on the mistakes that made the story less enjoyable, as well as the tiny quirks that make the story good.

The first and perhaps most important thing you're missing is very simple.
This thing. ". Quotation marks.
When I was reading, I had a hard time distinguishing when the characters are talking and when you're actually furthering the plot.
I noticed you were using a makeshift form, with this -, such as
- My nephew! Ah, so handsome... Etc.
If you just swap in quotations...
"My nephew! Ah so handsome..." etcetera.

The next is punctuation.
"Marvin, it's enough! How old are you god dammit?"
This would be improved by just sliding in a comma, like so.
"Marvin, it's enough! How old are you, god dammit?"
It makes the overall meaning of the question clearer, as well as emphasizing the exclamation (God dammit) at the end.

Apart from some expressions, these were the only things that really bothered me.
Now, on to the good parts!
First, I really like how you set up the story.
It's a cliche, but you rarely see old mansions in stories here.
You address the reader, adding a more personal touch and drawing us in, for example, the sentence "Can you imagine spending your summer in a rainy grey English summer with on top of that the creepiest weirdo in the world around the corner?"
No I can't imagine it, but I want to. Tell me more about this creepy weirdo, and England, and the house, so I'll be able to think about it.
Plus, having Anatole be so possessive of Marvin is interesting, to say the least.


Overall, the story has great potential, but it's hard to read.
If it was just cleaned up a bit, you'd have even more of a masterpiece in your hands.

[eov]

Originally Posted by rododoro3

I liked it quite a lot, but, um...
I agree with granite.
A great plot with realistic, believable characters isn't all you need for a story.
I'm not usually this bothered by errors, but... You had quite a few.
This is the point I usually offer to proofread, but unfortunately, I'm doing a huge translation project right now, so I don't have the time
I'll just quickly touch on the mistakes that made the story less enjoyable, as well as the tiny quirks that make the story good.

The first and perhaps most important thing you're missing is very simple.
This thing. ". Quotation marks.
When I was reading, I had a hard time distinguishing when the characters are talking and when you're actually furthering the plot.
I noticed you were using a makeshift form, with this -, such as
- My nephew! Ah, so handsome... Etc.
If you just swap in quotations...
"My nephew! Ah so handsome..." etcetera.

The next is punctuation.
"Marvin, it's enough! How old are you god dammit?"
This would be improved by just sliding in a comma, like so.
"Marvin, it's enough! How old are you, god dammit?"
It makes the overall meaning of the question clearer, as well as emphasizing the exclamation (God dammit) at the end.

Apart from some expressions, these were the only things that really bothered me.
Now, on to the good parts!
First, I really like how you set up the story.
It's a cliche, but you rarely see old mansions in stories here.
You address the reader, adding a more personal touch and drawing us in, for example, the sentence "Can you imagine spending your summer in a rainy grey English summer with on top of that the creepiest weirdo in the world around the corner?"
No I can't imagine it, but I want to. Tell me more about this creepy weirdo, and England, and the house, so I'll be able to think about it.
Plus, having Anatole be so possessive of Marvin is interesting, to say the least.


Overall, the story has great potential, but it's hard to read.
If it was just cleaned up a bit, you'd have even more of a masterpiece in your hands.

Thank you so much for this! I just finished writing the chapter 2. I just went through it again with all your feedback I can't wait to post it. You really helped me

[rododoro3]

Originally Posted by eov

Thank you so much for this! I just finished writing the chapter 2. I just went through it again with all your feedback I can't wait to post it. You really helped me

My pleasure!

[eov]

Part 2 is now Online, I added the link at the end of this chapter =)