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 November 9th, 2007, 09:56 PM | |||
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| Second Puberty (Part 11) 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - 11 - 12 - 13 - 14 -ELEVEN- My blood was still boiling. I can’t remember ever being so mad. I was almost shaking. It was bad enough Gil Stafford had humiliated me last night at Target, but now he had gone after my brother. I could tell Joe was upset. Who wouldn’t be after being hoisted half naked up a flag pole? He looked like he might start crying. “It’s going to be ok,” I said as I put my hand on his shoulder. “I know,” he said. “I know you’ll get out of the hospital eventually. But I’m going to miss you while you’re gone.” “Jeeze, Joe, did you ever think maybe I might win the fight. Maybe it’ll be Gil Stafford who goes to the hospital?” “Ah… no,” he said looking me square in the eye. “Thanks a lot.” “Hey, if you can’t count on your brother to tell you the hard truths, who can you?” “What time is it?” “About five to,” said Joe, checking his watch. “Why?” “I’m wondering if I have time to hoist you back up the flag pole without being late for class.” “I’d say no.” And Joe started making a beeline for the building. “Hey Joe,” I called after him. “Yeah?” he called, not stopping. “Mom’s coming by later. She could probably bring you some pants.” “I’ll call her,” he yelled back, not breaking his stride. In a second he had disappeared back inside. The rest of the crowd was following suite. They were all excited about the fight. Some of them couldn’t wait for Gil Stafford to get his ass kicked. Some of them couldn’t wait for me to get my ass kicked. Apparently a lot of the kids were afraid of me. “He’s some kind of mutant,” said one guy. I wonder where he got that from. “I heard he was an alien,” said another. I guess Charles just couldn’t keep his mouth shut. “What are you crazy? The guy’s just on steroids,” said a third. I seriously didn’t realize how much I was freaking people out. “What the fuck did you do that for?” I turned and there was Geoff. “I can’t believe you just challenged Gil Stafford to a fight—in The Clearing of all fucking places.” Behind our school, just beyond the football field, was about an acre of trees which we euphemistically called The Woods. At just about the center of The Woods was a clearing which we called—you guessed it—The Clearing. If you were going to The Clearing it was for one of two reasons, either to fight or get laid. Strangely, I had always envisioned myself going there for the other reason. When there was a fight, word got around, and you were pretty much guaranteed a good crowd. Whoever lost this fight would be humiliated in front of half the school, a fate Gil Stafford greatly deserved. “You’re going to get your ass kicked,” said Geoff. “So Joe was just saying. It’s great to have so many people who aren’t afraid to tell me the hard truths.” Geoff walked straight up to me. We were eye to eye now. “Jesus, you got big this time.” “You’re fucking right.” I was still pissed at Gil and a little at Joe and now here was Geoff singing the same tune. “You think that just because you’re almost as big as him, you have a chance to beat him.” “Yeah, and I’m not almost as big as him. I am as big as him.” “No fucking way. Gil’s built just like you and he’s still a couple of inches taller. And he’s got other advantages.” “Like what?” “I’ve seen Gil on the football field. He knows exactly what he can and can not get away with. If he can get away with breaking the rules, he will. He does whatever it takes to win and he seems to have a sixth sense about weather or not the ref is looking. And in The Clearing there won’t be any refs.” “You mean he fights dirty.” “I mean he fights to win.” “Well, I’m not exactly fighting to lose.” Geoff threw his hands up in the air. “Do you even know how to fight?” That caught me off guard. I’d never really done much fighting, some running and yelling, but not much fighting. I was never really built for it—before. But I wasn’t going to admit my ignorance, even to Geoff. “Well—I mean—I know the basics.” “Gil knows a lot more than the basics.” “Can you teach me?” “Not by fifth period. Why the fuck do you have to fight him? There are dozens of other ways we could have handled this.” “You wouldn’t understand.” “Is it because of what he did to you at Target?” “How did you know about that?” “Greg Petersen told me after Farley Simpkin told him. I heard about it third hand, third hand! And after I spent two hours with you yesterday mixing up goop. Why didn’t you say anything? I thought we were—I thought we were close.” “I don’t need you to fight my battles for me.” “No, you want to rip him apart with your own two hands, only it’s not going to work that way. He’ll be the one stomping on your head and this time he’ll do it in front of half the school. You used to be a lot smarter than this.” I used to not have a choice. But what if Geoff was right? Was I really that far out of my league? “So, what do I do?” My question seemed to take the steam out of Geoff’s anger. “Since you challenged him out here in front of everyone, there’s really no way you can get out of it.” I couldn’t believe Geoff was suggesting I chicken out and let Gil Stafford just go around humiliating whomever he liked. I put my hand on his shoulder and looked him straight in the eye. I was serious as a heart attack and I wanted him to see that. “I don’t want to get out of it,” I said. “There are some fights you don’t back away from, even if it means getting your ass kicked.” Suddenly Geoff dropped his gaze. It was as if he couldn’t look me in the eye anymore. “Ok,” he said. “I’ll do what I can to help you. Meet me in the clearing during fourth period and I’ll show you what I can about fighting.” “Thank you.” “Don’t thank me. I guarantee you whatever I show you, it won’t be enough. But there might be a couple of other things I can do.” Before I could ask him what he was talking about, Geoff turned and went back into the school. I was going to follow him but my cell phone buzzed. “Yeah?” I said tersely. “Am I getting you at a bad time?” asked Professor Grant. “Since I met you,” I answered, “I can’t say there have been too many good times.” “It can’t be that bad surely.” “Oh no, it’s just that everybody thinks I’m either an alien, a mutant or on steroids.” “Hmm,” he said. “Mutant is closest.” “You’re not helping.” “I don’t know how anyone could think you’re on steroids. Steroids don’t work that fast.” “This new stuff does. It’s supposed to work by stimulating the body’s natural growth systems.” “Oh, yeah, that stuff. I think I’ve heard of it.” “Yeah, well, apparently the police not only think I’m on the stuff, they think I’m selling it.” “The police?” “Yeah, they grilled me about it for about an hour last night.” “They didn’t take a blood sample, did they?” Something had changed in his voice. Suddenly the Professor seemed concerned. “Yeah, they did. Why? They’re not going to find anything, are they?” “Shit! This is bad. This is very bad.” “You mean they are going to find something?” “They’re not going to find what they’re looking for, but they’ll find plenty of things they don’t understand. They’ll send it up to the FBI’s forensic lab at Quantico, and that’s the beginning of the end.” “I don’t understand.” “Kid, I’m afraid I haven’t been entirely forthcoming with you. All those years ago, when they canceled our program, I wasn’t exactly supposed to give you up for adoption.” “What do you mean?” “I believe the exact words were, “specimen three-six-two is to be destroyed.”” “Destroyed!” “Yup, but I couldn’t do it. You were just a baby, just learning to walk. Killing you would have been murder. So I managed to sneak you out to an adoption agency.” “Thanks.” “Don’t mention it. But eventually Quantico is going to realize what that blood is, and then they’re going to send someone to find you.” “You mean they’ll kill me?” “I wouldn’t put it past them.” “What do I do?” There was silence on the other end; so much of it that I began to think I’d lost him. “Let me work on it and get back to you. In the mean time, don’t eat any meat at all. Try to slow down your growth as much as possible. The last thing we need is an overlarge teen drawing attention to himself.” Now he tells me. “Why didn’t you tell me any of this before?” “To be honest, I wasn’t sure how you’d react. I almost didn’t tell you about the whole cattle-growth-hormone thing because I was afraid you might go out and eat an entire cow. But I should have known better. You’re much to level headed to ever do anything like that.” This really wasn’t helping. “Well, I’d better get going. I’ve got a lot of work to do. I’ll be in touch.” And then he was gone. All thoughts of Gil Stafford were driven from my mind. Was someone, right now, on their way to kill me? Suddenly I felt really exposed standing out in front of the school. I remembered the policeman from last night and how he commented that he could hit me a hundred yards away in the dark. I quickly ran back to the school building, back behind its sheltering walls, and headed for my class. It was English Lit and I was late. Everyone stared at me, just as they had done in Calculus but I ignored it. I was too preoccupied with thoughts of assassins hiding in the supply closets. What was I going to do? This was way beyond me. And why was it so hot in here? I was wearing a muscle shirt in the middle of October and I was still burning up. Someone needed to turn down the heat. I looked around. No one else seemed to be sweating like a pig, just me. Then it hit me. Oh God. Not now. Not here. My hand shot up. Mrs. Preston ignored me. She was probably as freaked as Mr. Sanders had been. Well, if she didn’t let me go, she was going to get a lot more freaked. “Mrs. Preston,” I called out. She turned impatiently. “Yes, what is it?” “I think I need to see the nurse.” A shot of euphoria ran through me. I knew from past experience, if I didn’t move soon, I wouldn’t be able to move at all. “Can’t it wait?” “God no,” I said stumbling to my feet without waiting for permission. I fell against a desk and it exploded under my weight. “Sorry,” I said. “But I think I’m going to be sick.” I lurched toward the door. There was no way I was going to do this in front of a class full of people. I made it to the hall but then I wasn’t sure where to go. The boy’s room wasn’t far. I thought I could make it there. My breathing was getting rapid now and I could feel my heart pounding inside my chest. I didn’t have long. Sweat was coming off me in sheets. I pulled off my shirt before it became soaked. It was a repulsive rag but it was the only thing I had and there was a chance I would still be able to use it afterward. I burst into the boy’s room. I was in luck. The place seemed empty. I thought about looking under the stalls for legs but there wasn’t time. I staggered over to a sink and leaned on it, using it to support my weight, hoping it would hold up under the strain—now and later. I stared into the mirror above the sink. I flexed and saw my muscles respond by popping up all over my upper body. I was already pretty fucking big and I felt the power in each hard bulge. And, shit yeah, I was going to get fucking bigger! The first wave of ecstasy hit me. Oh fuck. I gasped. I was so fucking strong and I could feel myself getting stronger. Fuck, it felt good! I flexed as hard as I could. My veins swelled up all over and I could feel the blood racing through them. My heart was a fucking out-of-control machine. Each thunderous beat was ecstasy as it force fed blood into my muscles, a hundred times better than an orgasm. Oh man, this was intense! I’d forgotten how fucking intense this was. Fuck yeah! I wanted it to go on and on. As I stood there gasping for breath, I felt my muscles grow hard with power. Oh fucking Christ I was getting stronger! Even fucking stronger than I already was. How fucking awesome was that! And I was fucking growing! I could see it! My arms were bulging up bigger. Damn! I pulled a double bicep and watched as they fucking grew in power and forced my swelling forearms out further. Shit yeah! And my pecs—oh fuck—my pecs were bulging out ward. Oh my fucking God! My back, it was pushing out beneath my skin, stretching out wider behind me. Shit, I felt awesome! I was so fucking strong! There was no fucking feeling like this. I was pulsing with power, with raw physical strength. “ARGHHHHHH!” I couldn’t help shouting as my throbbing back grew thicker and my thighs expanded, filling those ridiculous shorts just short of bursting. But then it passed. The feeling quickly faded and it was over. It was so short, too short. I felt a little disappointed, a little empty. I wanted more. This was nothing compared to last night. I stood there and flexed in the mirror. I was bigger now; there was no denying it, but the gains were far less dramatic then they had been last night, more like my earlier spurts. I guessed this spurt was the direct result of the bacon I had eaten that morning. Let’s hear it for the other white meat. Now I wished I’d eaten more. I pulled a most muscular and still couldn’t help grinning as my chest and back bulged and expanded with solid, striated power. I felt like I could punch through walls and I was pretty sure I had gained another inch in height. I had to be stronger than Gil Stafford now. I was just an inch shorter than he was and I was almost sure I outweighed him. Then I heard the gasp. I turned and saw a freshman just standing there staring at me. He must have been in one of the stalls when I came in. He was a tiny guy, five foot nothing, and he looked really young. I wondered if he’d been through puberty yet. “I want some,” he said. By the timber of his voice, I could tell he had at least started puberty. “What?” I asked. “Whatever you’re on, I want some.” “I’m not on anything,” I said, pulling my shirt back on. To my relief it still fit. I guess this stuff was made to stretch. “I saw you,” he said. “I saw you grow. I want to grow like that.” “Give yourself some time,” I said. “You’ll grow.” “No, I won’t. I just saw the doctor. He said I won’t grow much more. I’m going to be like this for the rest of my life.” I truly didn’t know what to say. “So, what ever you want, just name it. I’ll do anything. Money? I’ll get it. You want a blow job? I can do that, too. Just name it.” At first I was going to make up some big, elaborate lie, but looking at that desperate kid, I just couldn’t. “I’m sorry,” I stammered. “I’m not on anything. I grew like that because it’s in my genes; it’s a genetic condition.” It almost broke my heart to see the hope die on that little kid’s face. I sincerely wished there was something I could do to help him, but there just wasn’t. “What’s your name?” I asked. “Colin, Colin Jones.” “Well, Colin, if I ever see or hear of anything that can help you safely, I’ll let you know.” “Thanks. But the doctor already said there wasn’t anything anyone could do.” “Doctors don’t always know everything.” “Yeah, they do.” And then with his head hanging, Colin slumped slowly out of the bathroom. I felt awful. I knew the hell that kid was going to go through in the next four years. It wasn’t going to be pretty. I thought about asking Professor Grant if there was anything he could do. Then I thought about Charles. His dad was an Endocrinologist. He might be able to help. Then it hit me. That’s where Charles was getting his stuff, from his dad. It had to be. Suddenly I wanted to talk to Charles very badly and it wasn’t just poor Colin I was thinking about. Second period was almost up and I knew third period was free for Charles, like it was for me. But I needed to talk to Veronica, first. I had double booked myself for fourth period and I would need her help. If I hurried, I could catch her before she went into Art history. The trip through the halls was torture. Everyone was giving me a wide berth. Not that I blamed them. I was noticeably larger than I had been just last period when I had lowered Joe from the flag pole in front of half the school. That had to be scary for them. But that wasn’t the worst of it. Each and every person I passed had some physical attribute that I found mind blowingly attractive. I got hard quickly and stayed that way, and my shorts were now so tight, and my member had gotten so large, it was impossible to hide. I was quite literally a walking hard-on. Reactions were mixed. Some people were repulsed, but even more of them looked turned on, my pheromones no doubt. A few looked at me with an expression that was akin to ravenous hunger. I thought they might just leap at me. If they had, I don’t know what I would have done. My libido was turned up to full and any proposal would probably have been immediately accepted. One girl flashed me as she passed and I almost lost control there and then. But finally I made it to the Art History room. I decided to wait for Veronnica outside. I pulled off my knapsack and strategically placed it in front of my crotch. I tired to look like I was just holding it that way casually but I don’t think anyone was fooled. “Is that your biology book or are you just glad to see me?” said Veronica as she came up on me and slapped my knapsack. As it collided with my member three kinds of pain and pleasure shoot through my synapses. In my present state it was almost enough to make me climax. “Veronica,” I said, “you’re prodding a sleeping tiger.” “I am?” she asked in mock surprise as she reached behind the backpack and grabbed hold of my caged animal. It was like someone flipped a switch. Before I knew what I was doing, I had grabbed her, picked her up, pinned her against the locker and was kissing her with unrestrained passion. Lights were flashing, bands were playing and our tongues were dancing with reckless abandoned. I was no longer conscious of where I was. There was only me and Veronica and my unchained lust. Keeping her suspended with one hand I used my other hand to reach for her blouse. Dimly, I became aware of something, some slight sensation. Then I realized Veronica was pounding on me, giving it everything she had. It barely registered. I pulled my self back to the here and now, and collecting the last shreds of my will power, I lowered her to the ground. “What the hell was that?” she gasped. “Sorry,” I said, and I explained to her about my hyper libido. “There’s a time and a place for everything,” she said. “But right in the middle of the hall?” “Sorry. I’ve been fighting it all morning and when you grabbed my cock, I just lost it.” “Well, keep a handle on it, mister, at least until we’re somewhere dark and private. And then we can explore a lot of new territory.” She reached up to grab my arm but I stopped her. “Better not,” I said. “Wow, you really are on the edge.” “More than you could possibly know. I need you to do me a favor.” “Name it.” “My mom is stopping by next period with the anti-pheromone goop. Could you meet her in front of the school and pick it up?” “And where are you going to be? I thought the big rumble wasn’t until 5th period.” “You know about that?” “Everyone knows about that. I hope you kick that asshole’s butt.” “I’ll try but I’m not exactly the odds on favorite.” “Are you fucking kidding me?” “Geoff seems to think I need fighting lessons.” “Geoff needs to be picked up and pinned against a locker by you— On second thought, forget I said that.” “I think I’m going to need you to substitute the goop for the chocolate pudding, too.” “Me, on my own?” “If you need help, ask my brother, Joe. He’s going to be meeting my mom, too. He may not be much help with the sneaky stuff, but he’s great at causing distractions.” “Ok, but you owe me.” She reached out for my package and I jumped back so fast, I dented the locker behind me. “Sorry, I guess I forgot,” she said half giggling. “’s’ok,” I said slowly backing away. “I better get going now. See you at lunch.” And now I was off to find Charles. Everything being equal, my best bet would be to go to the library. On most days I would find him in one of two sections, either science fiction or science fact. But everything was not equal, and today was nothing like most days. I decided to bypass the library altogether and play a hunch. I knew something about what Charles was going through, having gone through something similar myself just a couple of days ago. I decided to head for the weight room. As I reached the door, I paused. I was half afraid I’d find the other half of the football team inside. My pheromones were still out of control, and it was just possible I could provoke a sequel. But I had to risk it. I pushed open the door and went inside. I was both wrong and right. The football team wasn’t there but Charles was. He was sitting shirtless on the same machine I had first tried to use; only he seemed to know what he was doing. You put your forearms on those pads? How the hell was anyone supposed to figure that out? Charles was really exercising his chest. I watched with amazement as his pecs bulged when he worked them. Charles was sweating slightly. I could see his skin glisten under a fine coat of dark hair that dusted his chest and made a trail down the center of his six pack before disappearing down into his workout shorts. Veins were standing out on his pumped up biceps and shoulders as he continued to use the machine. I began to get a little hot and bothered, but I couldn’t let myself go there. I had things to do, things I had to ask Charles. “Hey,” I said. He looked over, did one last rep and then released the weights. “Hey,” he replied. “You want to use the machine? I’m done with it anyway.” “That’s ok,” I said. I had bad memories of that machine and the last thing I wanted to do was climb on it again. “I really just wanted to talk to you.” “Save your breath. I can already tell you, you don’t know what you’re talking about.” Ok, I wasn’t going to get anywhere just badgering him with questions. I decided to try a different approach. “Actually, I want to apologize.” “You do?” I could tell I had caught him by surprise. “Yeah. You’re my friend and I’ve been kind of a dick. I’ve had all this stuff going on and I haven’t let you in on it.” “I’m listening.” He sat down on a bench and looked up at me expectantly. He was still slightly winded from his workout, and I couldn’t tear my gaze away from those hard swollen pecs, rising and falling under that light coat of coarse dark hair. “Could you put your shirt on, first?” I asked. He gave me a knowing leer as he reached over, grabbed his shirt out of his gym bag and pulled it on. “Do you remember that sub we had in biology on Monday?” I started. He nodded and then I launched into the whole story. I even told him about my pheromones and the anti-pheromone goop that he had unwittingly tested for us. I could see the lights go on behind his eyes as he connected the bits of the story he knew with the parts I was now telling him. I finished up by telling him about Professor Grant’s discovery that the growth hormones in meat products were causing me to have growth spurts. I thought it would segue nicely into the questions I wanted to ask him. “So, now you know my story. What about yours?” “You already know about mine. You said it in Calculus. It’s a new biochemical compound that stimulates your glands into producing growth hormones and other muscle building agents.” “Yeah, but that’s only part of the story. You said this stuff stimulates your glands. Isn’t that what an endocrinologist studies, glands?” Charles paled a little and I knew I had hit home. “You’re getting this stuff through your dad, aren’t you? Doesn’t he care what he does to his own son? This stuff could kill you.” “Ok,” said Charles. “This is where your ignorance comes into play. This stuff is not like ordinary steroids. Those are dangerous. This stuff works with your body’s own biochemistry to produce its effects. It’s your body’s own hormones that are causing the changes, nothing artificial. I have seen the results of the clinical trials and it is absolutely safe, no harmful side effects whatsoever. That’s what my dad is working on.” “And he has no problem with you helping yourself to this stuff every once in a while.” “Are you kidding? He doesn’t know I’m taking it. He doesn’t even know I know what he’s working on. But he has a lab at home and I’ve seen his notes.” “He never notices anything missing?” “No,” he laughed. “I just added four or five liters to his requisition and then intercepted them before they got to him.” “Four or five liters?” That was it. That was the final piece of the puzzle. It all fit now. It was just as I suspected when I first connected Charles’ dad with the stuff. “It’s you. You’re the one selling this stuff.” “Harvard’s expensive.” “It’s illegal. You could go to jail.” “They have to catch me first.” “The police are already looking for a muscular honor student. Once they clear me, who will that leave?” “Fuck,” said Charles. “I never intended to take the stuff myself, but then I saw you, and you were getting so fucking hot, I thought what the hell, Ill give it a try. And then my muscles started to grow and I loved they way they looked and felt. I wanted more. Now, I’m hooked. I’m not sure I can stop.” I didn’t know what to say. I knew exactly where he was coming from. I was kind of hooked on the whole growth thing myself. And if somebody told me I should stop, I think I’d tell them to go to hell. “Maybe you should stop selling the stuff,” I offered. “Yeah,” he said. “That would probably be smart.” “Oh,” I said suddenly remembering, “Could you make one exception? There’s this freshman, Colin Jones. Could you sell some to him? He really needs it. And if you could please not make it more than he can afford.” “Sure. I guess.” “Thanks.” I got up to go. Third period was almost over and I was supposed to meet Geoff at The Clearing for my fighting lesson. “One more thing,” said Charles. “Be careful during fifth period. Gil Stafford’s one of my best customers.” Well, didn’t that put the frosting on the fucking cake! That’s why he was so fucking strong. That stuff had put muscles on Charles in three days and Gil must have been on it for months. No wonder he could lift cars. No wonder he had overpowered me so easily at Target. How strong was this guy? Come to think of it, I’d never seen him without his shirt. He was always wearing that loose football jersey and that baggy jacket, even indoors. He could be inhumanly huge under there; in fact, seeing the way this stuff worked, he probably was. Did I even have a chance of beating him? Maybe Geoff was right. Maybe I was going to get my ass kicked in front of half the school. Next Chapter Last edited by Jaypat; September 26th, 2010 at 07:46 AM. Reason: Fixing links, typos and general housekeeping  |
| November 10th, 2007, 12:13 AM | |||
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| First to respond; now to read! |
| November 10th, 2007, 12:32 AM | |||
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| Now I want to read Part 12 :\ |
| November 10th, 2007, 02:45 AM | |||
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| Oh my god. I just had to stop reading(and laughing) and come down here to say. OH MY GOD. Yeah let's hear it for the other white meat. I'm still laughing when I say that. Your boy is becomeing the other white meat. He is going to be the definition of huge white meat. My hat is off to you sir. Truly a joy to read. I gotta get back to the story. redroger11 |
| November 10th, 2007, 02:58 AM | |||
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| Wow. Ok. I guess I'm hooked too. Say man you never warned us it would be addictive! Great work. And the laughs just keep on coming. Or keep us coming. Or.. Keep writing. redroger11 |
| November 10th, 2007, 03:05 AM | |||
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| This kid needs to have a dozen hamburgers for lunch.(Heh-heh-heh-heh-heh) OMG! Didn't Dr. Grant say something about his brain being wired for pleasure now. So if he gets beaten up won't that get him off? Talk about beating off! redroger11 |
| November 10th, 2007, 06:41 AM | |||
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 White Meat Quote:
__________________ HUNGRYHUNK  HUNGRYHUNK[/FONT]Krushdahunks!  |
| November 10th, 2007, 07:34 AM | |||
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| Thank you, thank you, thank you! Every day I check to see whether a new episode has shown up! I get about as excited as Veronica does when HE walks in! xoxo Richard |
| November 10th, 2007, 08:20 AM | |||
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| Fofl Jaypat, You are the BEST! --The humor, ----the wry observations,  ----------the muscle growth!  You've set a new standard for the stories in this forum! Keep on writing! Thank you, thank you, thank you! Mdlftr |
| November 10th, 2007, 09:47 AM | |||
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| This is getting very, VERY interesting. "Jason" has grown again, and he's about to face Gil. Interesting.... Thanks, Jaypat, for another fun chapter! __________________ www.musclebook.org musclebook.org Forum Admin |
| November 10th, 2007, 10:41 AM | |||
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| Damn it Charles! I hope Gil gets caught and gets his ass whooped! |
| November 10th, 2007, 11:44 AM | |||
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| You caught me! Quote:
Last edited by Jaypat; September 26th, 2010 at 07:49 AM. |
| November 11th, 2007, 07:38 AM | |||
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| Thanks for a great build up to the fight with this chapter. It's interesting to find out that Gil has been Charles' customer for a while. It's shaping up to be a battle of the genetically-enhanced titan vs. the hormonally enhanced titan. I can't wait to see what Geoff does to help and for the fight. P.S. The bathroom exchange between the main character and the freshman was my favorite part. |
| November 11th, 2007, 11:33 AM | |||
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I am guessing but I suspect the Geoff is going to score some of Charles's grow juice and bulk-up a bit to help out "The Kid" if only by being a Referee to keep Gil from fighting to dirty. I agree the exchange between the Kid and little Colin Jones and getting Charles to make the grow juice available to him is great... I hope it happens, before the "Charles Connection" gets shut down. I was sort of hoping Charles was right about "The Kid" being part alien... Having the "mutation" being spread by the "Kid" have sex with other (through offspring with girls and direct assimilation with guys seemed like a great way to invade. The a black ops program would let the result of the project out in a adoption did seem a bit odd... They are generally not that humane, and any evidence of the project would be destroyed. That the good Dr Grant is still around is a bit puzzling considering the content of the contracts that cover the clearances to be involved with program that would be that secret. That "the Kid" turned out as well as he has may cause the black agency that funded Dr Grant may reopen the project in which case the "grow juice" being available at the "Kid's" High School would be a good cover for the "Kid." It's possible the the people behind the program had planned that Dr Grant would act as he did and have been watching the "Kid" all along waiting for what has happened. That might mean that Charles's dad being involved with the "grow juice" wasn't an accident and the Charles being the pusher was planned too. That Dr.Grant would resurface was probably not planned and Charles's dad was there to nab the "Kid" whwn and if he started to grow and control the attention it might attract but providing an alternate explaination for the "Kid." Ender |
| November 11th, 2007, 12:52 PM | |||
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| November 11th, 2007, 03:03 PM | |||
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keep up the wonderful work jaypat |
| November 11th, 2007, 05:34 PM | |||
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| The plot plot thickens! Not only must the kid be looking over his shoulder for government assasins. He also still has Gil to deal with. The mini-growth spurt and Geoff's training might help level the playing field some, thus adding to the suspense. But with all this on his plate, he could still have compassion for the little kid in the restroom. One cool scene would be after the big fight where the kid passes along his newly acquired fighting skill to the little - but hopefully growing - freshman. You gotta LIKE this character. And Jaypat, your writing is first rate. You could definately quite your day job and do this for a living! This story has it all, suspense, intrigue and humor. I've especially enjoyed how you've made the kid comedian Joe's straight man. That's a very unusual plot twist be VERY imaginative. Can't wait for the next chapter! |
| November 11th, 2007, 11:33 PM | |||
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| This is so moving.... really, I've fallen in love with Geoff, Joe and our main hero. I'd say, don't write yourself into a hole you can't get out of with all these plot twists, but somehow (seeing how you've deftly handled the story so far), I know you'll do a good job .The dialog (as is the case with all best-selling, enduring fiction writers tackling the American High School story) is wildly entertaining, and plentiful. It - amazingly - avoids being corny, which is something other epics on this site (JP's story, New Neighbors, although not to belittle those great works) have not always escaped. Ultimately, I think this is the case bcause your characters face complex situations and moral judgements, and don't always take the obvious high road or low road. They are human in a non-simplistic way. That said, the growth scenes are really enjoyable - although I find (and this is an alternative view on this site) that it's the interactions with other characters following each growth spurt that keep me hooked. You have a vivid imagination - keep it coming. And finally, my prediction of the future? There are many directions this can go, and I don't want to jinx it by throwing too many out there. We've got our primary characters (Geoff, Veronica, Joe, Charles, Professor Grant), and are introduced to secondary ones (Colin, Gil's sidekicks, the police officers) who have the pontential to have a growing role as this goes on. Ultimately, Jason will be able master (or control) his growth, but that's the happily ever after part - he is only a hero to the extent that he faces uncertain odds in beating adversity, and that's what keeps the story interesting and alive. We're in for a wild ride here... Last edited by pqcud; November 11th, 2007 at 11:39 PM. |
| November 14th, 2007, 07:24 PM | |||
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| I kinda felt for colin.. I was told when i was young that i would always be "the small guy" Doctors can be so very cold and disconected when giving news like that. I guess they have to be, but still. beind told your always gunna be an under dog, hurts. Hopfuly, he gets his second chance. as for me. I may only be 5'6, but im strong as hell and well built >3 |
| November 14th, 2007, 08:31 PM | |||
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| Jaypat; you're a genius. Pain would still have to hurt. It was just the growingpains that felt good. I still like the idea of the hamburgers. and there's still time for lunch. For tremorwolf; I'm posting a story over at Nifty Archives called Hard Questions. it's under my pen name dymondbolt. And in it you'll find the shorter guy is the one bouncing the bigger guy around in the shower. It's the shorter guys you have to watch out for. They pack a meaner punch. And F**k the doctors. Go back and lift them off their feet and ask them if they can do the same to you! Isn't Lee Priest 5'4"?Short studs rock! Sorry Jaypat; but I had to put my two cents in about what Tremorwolf was saying. redroger11 |
| November 15th, 2007, 11:27 AM | |||
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| wowza :P that was freaking HOT! Yet more of this amazing story, man; i'm lovin it!! ~Palmer EDIT: i totally forgot to metnion how impressed by that growth scene i was; the addition of his rapidfire thoughts of power, strength, and growth (and of course that he was STILL gaining in all three ;p) was EXTREMELY effective and SO hot, even for such a short growth scene; wowza indeed! Last edited by sexiscriptor; November 15th, 2007 at 11:57 AM. |
| November 18th, 2007, 05:54 AM | |||
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| What happens to "Jason" after he enjoys a turkey for Thanksgiving??? Boy, that will lead to one massive growth spurt on Thanksgiving Day!!! There's your idea for the next chapter, right there! LOL! Time for a new chapter of "Second Puberty", Jaypat!! I just finished and won Nanowrimo (3,000 words per day; 50,000 words in 17 days... If I can do it, so can you!). -Rex __________________ www.musclebook.org musclebook.org Forum Admin Last edited by rextorres; November 18th, 2007 at 06:18 AM. |
| November 18th, 2007, 11:00 AM | |||
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| It's on the way Congratulations, Rex, on finishing your novel. I hope you post it soon. Chapter 12 is just about done. I will probably send it to the proofreader sometime today. Since you guys responded so strongly to Colin, I'm putting him in Chapter 12. He wasn't going to be there originally, but now he is. |
| November 18th, 2007, 11:32 AM | |||
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| Happy Thanksgiving, Jaypat! Thanks again, for writing. Please don't rush the story because of my teasing! Take your time. And, don't forget to give our muscle boy some ham and turkey. If anything, it'll give him a great growth spurt on the holiday, with the whole family being present to witness his growth! Have fun with it! Happy turkey day! -Rex PS. I'm on page 160 of my story, and I still need to write the last couple of scenes, including the climax and the ending. I'm not quite done yet, but I have enough words, to win nanowrimo! __________________ www.musclebook.org musclebook.org Forum Admin |
| November 18th, 2007, 02:57 PM | |||
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I agree. If he doesn't eat his meat, he can't have any pudding! How can he have any pudding if he don't eat his meat?!? (I been wanting to say that for a long time) __________________ In the MGS FC's I am Psycho Mantis! "Put your controller on the floor...Put it down as flat as you can...That's good. Now I will move your controller by the power of my will alone!" |
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