Attention Hugely Muscled Guys.....

[DragoniteXY]

Originally Posted by sabretooth

one guy after the first date told me how he prepared to go out on the date with me, showed me the switch blade in his pocket, and that he told his room mate if he didnt see him by 2am to call the cops, told me he thought i was going to kidnap or rape him or something like that. am i really that scary?

That's hilarious!

[PlugNPlay76]

Originally Posted by ydt81

[not that I've read this ENTIRE thread yet] but for me, I guess it has something to do with muscular guys usually funneling into one of a few aesthetic archetypes. Examples include:
--the self-obsessed gym nut;
--the energetic/optimistic gym nut;
--the posh fitness model;
--the frat boy
--the burly, lumberjacky "real man'"
.... etc....

Yes, I know it's easy to break down any category of people and no, I don't get off on putting people in boxes.

But from the other side of things (the "lean" side of runners, yogis, dancers, swimmers, and thin guys), it seems that a lot of buff guys end up in the same clothes and style of walk as their gym peers.
I see a buff guy and *admire* his physique, but thinking about the long term I have to wonder what we'd actually have in common.
.........silly as this sounds, it's almost like his muscles are t-shirt that tells me immediately what his interests are; I find his interests hot, but I know their not my own.


Then again, I have to admit.... part of me flips the finger to traditional masculinity (as far as manifesting it in myself goes). I developed this recent pet peeve for gay guys that pat themselves on the backs for breaking stereotypes.

The same thing is prevalent THROUGHOUT the fitness world I guess;
but when it comes to gay life (especially when you read to damn much), there's this added layer of questions b/w the fit guys and the 'normal' ones.
I'm just annoyed by the unique power hot buff guys have as a commodity in the gay world...

Tori Amos put it best in an angsty song called "Precious Things":
'So you can make me cum
That doesn't make you Jesus...'

You know,

I see your opinion here.. and I really do not agree with it, especially in my research. Guys like you are precisely why most of these huge muscle guys are afraid to approach a regular guy. Yes, true, they love being huge and worshipped, and encouraged to grow. On the other side, they want to be loved and appreciated and seriously want something real just as much as you do.

It's weird, but , in a good way. Some guys that are seriously built huge and are seriously ready to settle down with a regular or smaller guy soo want to accomadate you as well.... it's like they want to over try for fear that you seriously won't be into them for them. Alot of them are afraid of that anyway and just don't want to be dissappointed. Alot of these guys are also extremely sensative even though they really try hard to hide it.

I actually know this one who is really huge bodybuilder, but, absolutely loves chick flicks and to cry..... So yeah, he may appear intimidating and manly, but, he really is just a huge, lovable dork.

They hang with their own clicks pretty much only to talk shop and sometimes have the occassional hook-up until they find that special somone. They want more than just for someone to be into them for their muscles, way more.

Another side to that is kind of messed up too. Alot of them are afraid that someday a guy will leave them for someone bigger, which actually is what happens all the time in the bodybuilding world itself.

From my findings, it is definitely so true that you absolutely cannot ever judge a book by it's cover, or the other books it hangs with.

Plug.

[ActionBastard]

Maybe it's just me, it often is, but I find it strange that it's seriously being suggested that the smaller man in a big/small relationship is less likely to step outside, or that potential to cheat is a valid criteria for evaluating a potential partner?

At that point I have to assume one or both parties are dreadfully insecure and probably have low relationship sucess based on a number of non-physical factors...

[PlugNPlay76]

Originally Posted by ActionBastard

Maybe it's just me, it often is, but I find it strange that it's seriously being suggested that the smaller man in a big/small relationship is less likely to step outside, or that potential to cheat is a valid criteria for evaluating a potential partner?

At that point I have to assume one or both parties are dreadfully insecure and probably have low relationship sucess based on a number of non-physical factors...

Action,

I think you just perpetuated my point.

[Koutetsu]

I really need to stop being the stalker on these forums and actually post!

This is an interesting topic by all means. I myself am Bi, and have a weak spot for big guys. I met a freshman this semester who was close to 200lbs, it's a small university so I tend to see everyone on campus at least once a week. This guy kept having lunch at the same time I was. He was big, and scary looking, and so no one sat with him. I noticed one day he had a Judas Priest Shirt on (one of my favorite bands), so I decided to use it as a opportunity to break the ice.

I found out he's actually a really big teddy bear, ticklish (I always use this as a way of torture, it works so much better than pain), a goof ball, a sweet tooth and to top it off a real great guy. He's become one of my better friends.

What I'm trying to say is most of the time it's just like dating anyone else, if you have common ground go for it. I hang out with quiet a few big guys, each of them I started talking to by just finding common ground.

Now what I love is when big guys give me compliments on my physical abilities. I'm a little guy 160 5'9, but I play in a local football league for adults who couldn't make it into college/pro plays, they're always surprised when I can take down a guy or completely out run people. It kind of makes me feel "big" in my own way.

[Bull]

Big, small, short, tall, fat, slim, hot, ugly...all men are fucked-up, and it's nearly impossible to make a relationship work with one. That's been my experience, and why I gave up a long time ago.

[arpeejay]

Bull:

All people, men and women, have issues they have to work through. They either work through them, or they don't. Being in a relationship means being willing to work on yours while they work on theirs. If you won't and they won't, well, you're right, no point in having a relationship.

It's like bodybuilding. You do the work, you get the results, but it's the process that makes it happen.

xoxo

Richard

[Rarity]

Originally Posted by Bull

Big, small, short, tall, fat, slim, hot, ugly...all men are fucked-up, and it's nearly impossible to make a relationship work with one. That's been my experience, and why I gave up a long time ago.

I use to think that too, but I guess I was just being a stereotypical woman(What's a woman doing here? HOLY SHIT!) *cough*

I use to think it was all my boyfriend's fault when things went wrong. Which is wrong because it would be both our faults. Or perhaps mostly my fault because I thought it was his fault and I got on his case about it.

The fact of the matter is, it takes two to tango. If there's a problem, it's not just the other person's fault. Things can be avoided, things can be mended if need be, all superfluous problems in relationships can be solved. I guess I can use an example that happened a month ago.


I got into a spat with my sweetheart (8th grade~High School graduation... 5 years) because he was going to the gym more than spending time with me. He was going through a tough time and he was just using weights to ease his stress. Instead of letting him be for a week or so, I bugged the hell out of him. I guess I made it much worse and he just broke it off with me. I got pissed and blamed him (as usual), but as time passed, I realized it was mostly my fault.

Three months later, he comes back to my apartment with a newspaper and pretends like we never met. It was allegedly my paper and he said he got it instead... Which I thought was sweet, because that's what he did back in 8th grade in order to get me to notice him. He was expecting me to be mad, from the looks of it. But I just laughed, it seems that no matter how big he gets, he'll still be that little nerd I fell in love with. We went out to a coffee place and talked it out for an hour and we were officially back together.

Sure I'm young, but I've been with the same guy for a little over FIVE years. How many other girls (or guys) my age can say that? All it takes is a little understanding. And if you truly love the person and they love you back, then things will work themselves out. Even if it takes three months. Thanks to this break up, I've learned not to sweat the small stuff... Er, and as expected, he didn't change much. But meh, I wouldn't have him any other way since there was nothing wrong with him to begin with. :3

/sooooooooo off topic (maybe)

[cccatl]

I've got a story that relates to this thread...

I was working out with my trainer at the local gay musclehead gym. (so much muscle candy)...

There's this guy working out near us that I hadn't seen before. So, hot. Huge, thick muscular body. Arms bursting. Quads flaring. And, his face... so good-looking. Blue-eyed, good ole' boy with chestnut facial hair.

I see lots of good-looking guys. And, I see a lot of muscular guys. But, it's rare to see a good-looking, muscular guy. And, this guy had both in spades. I could not take my eyes off of him. I just wanted to rip of his clothes right then and there.

I assumed that he could have anyone he wanted. And, he never made eye contact with me. Maybe he's just too into his workout. Maybe not.

So, I point him out to my trainer, and he says... "Oh, that guy?? Yeah, completely hot, so handsome, but neither of us have a chance with him." I look at him quizzically. My trainer is a big, muscular, handsome guy. I don't think I'm so bad either.

"Oh? Why's that?" I asked.

My trainer tells me:

"Well.. I was working out him one time, and we were talking, when he freezes, and says, 'Man.. that guy is *so* hot.'

I look around.. I don't see anyone. 'Who?' I ask?

'*That* guy.'

I look around. I don't see anyone. 'Where? Point to him.'

'*Him* Right there' And, he points to a big, daddy type. The kind with a big, firm, pot-belly pushing out over his pants.

'Him?'

'Yeah him, and he's probably such a jerk asshole. No one can talk to him.'"


I laughed at that story. Everyone's got the same problem. Even good-looking, muscular guys. My trainer was right. I don't have a chance with him. Nor will I ever. I don't want to be a pot-bellied daddy. I want to be a muscle god.

That's when I realized that it's hard for everyone. Everyone has a specific type. It's just rare when 2 people are each other's type.

Here's a quick experiment:

Go to a busy place with lots of gay men (not a straight space). Count how many people there are in the room and count how many people you're attracted to. For me, it's like 1 person in 20. Maybe. On a good day. Usually, it's more like 1 in 30 or 40. (interestingly, this ratio has gotten more and more selective as I've gotten older. When I was 25, it may have 1 in 15. Anyways, I digress...)

Now square both numbers. 1:20 becomes 1:400. This means that mathematically, on average, it takes meeting about 400 people for 2 people to meet that are each other's type.

As you can see, the probability isn't high. But, 400 isn't such a large number either. To some extent, it's a numbers game. To some extent, it's luck.

BTW, this is why you can't do this in a straight space. I find the attraction ratio dives down to 1:100 or something, and then you square that to a depressing 1:10,000.

But, the upshot is this: you gotta kiss a lot of frogs before you find a prince. So get out, and put yourself out there. At least try to make eye-contact with the ones you like. And, be nice, polite, flattered, and sympathetic to the ones that try to make eye-contact with you, but you're not into.

[ActionBastard]

Originally Posted by cccatl

'*Him* Right there' And, he points to a big, daddy type. The kind with a big, firm, pot-belly pushing out over his pants.

'Him?'

'Yeah him, and he's probably such a jerk asshole. No one can talk to him.'"

This right here, is why everyone needs to turn the angst dial down a few notches.

People like all sorts of types and looks, for good and bad reasons. Not to say that I aggressively go after what I want, quite the opposite, but when I do, if it doesen't work I don't find myself at the bottom of a bottle of Cymbalta over it.

I know I make snap judgements, am inconsistent and have some arbitrary deal breakers, so it stands to reason everyone else does too. No reason to go to pieces if some dreamy guy isn't interested, he might have really hated my shoes. He might be with that goblin because they both really love macrame.

Whatever, I'll spend about five minutes grieving for what might have been and then move on to the next.

[bigbob111]

The gym I use is mostly a "family establishment" but we do see the occasional monster. One of these guys would without a doubt be a dangerous opponent, but at least the manage to smile and say "hello" once in a while. suddenly the little twinge of fear isnt there anymore.

Just a thought, but if your seeking the freaky huge look, it wouldnt hurt to practice being a gentleman. Its actually quite a combination come to think of it!