The Jascian's Toy - Part 13

[Rowan]

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—Thirteen—

My eyes drifted open.

Something was off.

What was it?

The wall of warmth usually at my right side was gone. I turned my head and—surprised to see Gavin not there—sat up. “Gav…” My voice trailed when I saw him on my left side, sitting on the floor.

He was shaking.

“Hey,” I said softly, crawling to the edge of the bed. “What’s wrong?”

His gaze darted up, locked to the floor again.

It was too brief. I didn’t understand the emotion I’d just seen. “Talk to me.”

“I killed it.”

My brow furrowed. “What?”

“Th-The veda. The one that attacked you.” He reached up and twisted his fingers into his hair. “I killed it before returning it to its owner and never told you.”

Shock dropped my next word to a whisper. “Gavin.”

“The fucker nearly sliced you open and could have done worse. I was within my rights, but we don’t usually execute pets. They don’t know any better.” He shook his head. “None of that mattered to me, though. Seeing you so scared… I’d never felt rage like that before.”

Rage. Remembering how gently he’d held me after returning to the apartment that day, how calm his voice had been, how steady his heart… It was hard to comprehend. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because I already knew you well enough to realize you’d be upset with me if I hurt an animal, even if it tried to hurt you.” A muscle in his jaw ticked, and he sounded like he was on the verge of tears for the second time today. “It was Kieric’s childhood pet and I snapped its neck without a second thought.”

“It was Kieric’s veda?” When he shrank away from me I leaned forward and gentled my voice. “Gavin, look at me.”

He hesitated, obeyed. His eyes were sparking, but along with the sharp bolts I was familiar with, there was something else. Eerie, nebulous droplets of energy.

I’d seen these before. Where had I…

Lucas’s eyes. When he looked at Jovin today.

“Take a deep breath,” I murmured, slipping into doctor mode.

Gavin tried, and his body shuddered with the effort. “D-Do you hate me, Blake?”

“No.” I gestured for him to come closer, and again he obeyed. It was disturbing to see him so docile, but I made sure not to let the emotion show on my face. “Do me a favor and wrap this blanket around you.”

Dragging the blanket off the mattress, he looped it around his back and leaned forward to close the corners behind me. “Are you cold?”

I smiled. He had no idea what I was doing and I supposed there was no reason to tell him. “A little.”

Tentatively, he cupped his hands around my body along with the blanket. “You’re sure you don’t hate me?”

“I’m sure.” I reached out and ran my palm down the bridge of his nose. “This is the same veda that hurt Jack?”

He nodded.

“In my culture, once a pet attacks a human being without provocation it’s often put down. And after what that thing did to Jack and me, I’m not at all sad it’s gone.” I kissed his cool skin, hoped it would warm up soon. “None of that makes it right, probably. I wish I had something better to tell you.”

A tremor went through his body. “As long as the bottom line is that you don’t hate me. As long as you don’t…” He pressed himself against the bed.

“Jesus. Gavin.” I blew out a soft breath. “You keep telling me that Jascians don’t break, but I’m telling you now I’m seeing over and over that you people seem to suffer from a variety of pretty severe anxiety disorders.”

His head lifted slightly. “Anxiety disorders?”

The sparks had faded from his eyes, and I decided now wasn’t the time. “Never mind. Come back to bed and get some sleep.”

“I want to stay here.” He laid his head onto the mattress. “I don’t know why.”

“Okay,” I told him, raking my fingers through his hair. “As long as you’re comfortable.”

“Thanks Blake. You’re the best…”

Realizing he was already asleep, I shook my head.

Alphas—as soon as their worries were lifted sleep came almost instantly, leaving us ‘lessers’ wide awake and wondering things in the dead of night.

Like what the hell was going to come after best.

*****

Eyana laughed as I ran to another of the physiology textbooks she’d spread onto the floor.

“And this is the beta digestive tract?” I asked eagerly.

She nodded.

“Interesting.” I jumped to another book. “And this page displays one belonging to a gamma?”

“It does.”

“They’re almost identical.” I dropped to my knees. “Although the lining here seems to be a little more densely structured.”

Her face cleared. “Yes, gammas are able to process food slightly more efficiently than betas.”

Entranced, I wandered to yet another book. “Does the increase in efficiency account in part for their larger musculature?”

“That’s the prevailing theory,” murmured Eyana.

I glanced up. “I’m sorry. I must be boring you with all these questions.”

“No no. Not at all.” Her brow furrowed. “You’re very astute, Blake.”

Remembering that this was not medical school, I slipped my hands into my pockets. “You mean, for a toy.”

“For anyone.”

The texts began to lose their luster as I looked around them. “I can’t even read these.”

“Because no one has taught you,” she said without hesitation. “And yet even without being able to read them you’ve managed to come to a conclusion many physiology students fail to reach without help.”

My lips parted, and slowly I started to take the compliment for what it was. “Eyana, do you think you could teach me…”

“I have an idea.” She leaned forward. “Why don’t we go on a bit of a field trip?”

“Field trip?” I asked, knocked from my train of thought. “Where to?”

“A place few Earthers have seen.” Her eyes caught the light and sparkled. “It will be fun.”

Out of the apartment? To a place a beta thought was fun? I couldn’t resist. “Sure, but shouldn’t we let Gavin know where we’re going?”

“I’ll leave him a…” She paused, her light fading as she removed her PDA from her pocket. “I-I’ll call him.”

She actually seemed frightened at the prospect. “Eyana?”

Swallowing, she pressed her thumb to the corner of the screen and looked away. “Call Gavin Aravis.”

The device barely had time to make any noise before I heard Gavin’s irate voice streaming out of it. “Is something wrong with my toy, beta?”

“No, sir,” she said, keeping her eyes averted.

His tone instantly softened. “You may meet my gaze, Eyana.”

Even on the phone, a lesser had to wait for permission to meet the gaze of an Alpha. This hierarchy was really inconvenient, and now I understood why Eyana had left Gavin a written note the last time she’d needed to give him a message.

But she seemed to relax once permission was given. “I would like to request permission to take Blake off the grid, sir.”

“Off the grid. You must be joking.”

Her shoulders hunched forward—submissive, even for a beta. “I believe he would enjoy seeing some of Jasc’s rarer flora.”

“Absolutely not.”

As much as I loved being with my Alpha, I needed friends, and the freedom to be with them. So I took a chance and called out to the PDA. “I’d really like to take a look, Gavin.”

“Fuck, he’s right there?”

Her eyes rounded as she nodded.

I heard a harsh sigh. “Put him on.”

Eyana held the screen in front of me, and I put on my best grin.

“No,” he said flatly.

My grin pulled wider. “Please?”

“If you want to see flowers, I can take you.”

There was no way to explain what I needed without hurting him, and my gaze flicked to the floor, back to him. “Sounds fun.”

His bright blue eyes narrowed into slits. “But you want to go with the beta.”

I gave him a faint nod.

“You realize you have a tendency to invite disaster.”

What? Me? He was the one who—

But I knew how to choose my battles. “I’ll be careful.”

He snorted. “Eyana.”

She took back her PDA. “Yes, Alpha Gavin?”

“You know what’ll happen to you if he gets hurt?”

“I’ll guard him with my life, sir,” she said, bowing her head.

“Be sure that you do.” The tone of his voice changed as he spoke to me again. “Have fun, Blake.”

Smiling, Eyana touched the screen and glanced at me. “Shall we?”

Suddenly I wasn’t so sure. “Maybe we shouldn’t. If something were to happen to me, Gavin would…” My sentence trailed as I remembered the incident at the caf?.

“Blake.” Her delicate hand drifted up to cover her heart. “You are my dear friend. If I were to let something happen to you, I would deserve whatever punishment Alpha Gavin deemed appropriate.”

Dear friend. I felt myself blushing under the admission. “Th-Thanks.”

She held out her hands. “May I carry you?”

It was different, being around Eyana. I wasn’t used to having so much autonomy. “Yep.” I climbed into her hold, and she gracefully rose to her feet. “What does ‘off the grid’ mean, anyway?”

“It means we’ll be in an area free of AEO surveillance.” Leaving the apartment, she closed the door behind her.

“The fringes?”

“Even the fringes are subject to law and therefore under surveillance. This place is more…natural.”

I’d always thought of the fringes as a Jascian version of the Wild West. Apparently it was just another term that didn’t translate well. “We’ll be seeing some unique plants there?” Not that I could distinguish unique from commonplace, but I was looking forward to a nature walk.

Eyana smiled as she set me into the passenger seat of her car. “And more.”

This vehicle was smaller, more sedate than Gavin’s sports car. And Eyana drove like a sane person, thank god.

We chatted more about physiology on the way there. It was nice to speak to someone who thought of me as a peer in her field. “I can see that there are marked physical differences between the three classes, but I honestly don’t see a difference in intelligence.”

Her response was careful, measured. “Post-transition, Alphas can certainly process data faster than any lesser.”

“But…a computer can do that.”

She glanced briefly at me in surprise before returning her attention to the road. “True.”

Sensing this was not comfortable ground for her, I dropped the subject of Alphas. “What about gammas and betas? How do they compare to each other?”

“Theories differ,” she said, more at ease now. “Personally I believe there is little to no difference between beta and gamma brain function. I think heightened hormone levels tend to make them more…passionate, but not in any dangerous way. It’s actually quite,” she smiled, “invigorating to experience.”

I cocked an eyebrow, unused to hearing her speak so frankly.

“But their bodies develop at young ages,” continued Eyana, a touch of sadness slipping into her, “and they build strength much more easily than betas. Because of their value as laborers, they’re rarely given a chance to be more. It does happen, however.”

“Like the officer I told you about? From the other day?”

Her smile returned. “Yes. Like him.”

The car came to a stop and I looked up, realizing with a start that we were surrounded by trees that seemed to touch the sky. “Wow.”

“Indeed.” She turned off the engine and the car floated to the ground. Reaching over, she gently took me out of the passenger seat and left the vehicle. “Blake, I’m afraid I didn’t bring you here to show you flowers.”

Startled, I glanced up at her. “What?”

“There’s someone who’d very much like to meet you.”

For the first time, I realized we’d parked in front of a small wooden cabin. “You lied to Gavin,” I whispered. This was bad. I had no way to protect myself from danger, especially out here.

Shit. Gavin was right. I did invite disaster.

“It’s safe, Blake. I promise you.”

Eyana was my friend, and I wanted to trust in that, but… “Why would you lie to Gavin? To me?”

“Because the interior of most Alpha domiciles are under AEO surveillance, and the message this person wishes to give you could be construed as somewhat…controversial if taken in the wrong light.”

I frowned, staring at the cabin. “Who’s in there?”

“It’s your choice whether we go in or not, but I shouldn’t break his trust if you choose to turn back.”

That simple statement was enough to make my decision, because I knew it was my decision. “I’d like to go in.”

She smiled and walked inside. It took my eyes a moment to adjust to the lamplight, and I straightened in her hold when I saw who stood in the middle of the bare room.

“You’re the Authority Enforcement Officer from the other day’s fight.”

The gamma’s lips parted. “You recognized me even without the uniform.”

“Well,” I chuckled softly, his gentle, surprised expression relieving any tension I’d had, “all the adrenaline pumping through my system at the time sort of burned your image into my brain.”

“An Alpha wouldn’t have noticed.” His surprised expression gave way to an almost shy grin. “And I’ve never met an Earther before.”

I leaned forward. “You’re the first gamma I’ve had the pleasure of speaking to as well.”

“You were right.” He glanced up at Eyana. “He’s really nice.”

Eyana had to steady me to keep me from falling out of her hold. “Blake, this is Vik.”

“Hello,” I said, waving my hand.

He copied the gesture. “Hey.”

The muscles under his button-down shirt worked as he moved, his pecs stretching the material over them, bunching the material right under them. Entranced, I couldn’t help blowing out a soft breath.

Vik cocked an eyebrow. “You’re also hot,” he said, his words a low, gentle growl. His gray eyes never left mine as he flicked open the top buttons of his shirt, revealing the deep groove at the center of his chest. “Wanna fuck?”

Was this how all Jascians propositioned sex? Or was this a uniquely gamma method? Either way, I found myself blindsided. “I…”

Eyana spun me away. “His Alpha is very possessive and will most likely kill us both if he catches your scent on Blake’s body.”

Vik dropped his hands and tucked his thumbs into his pockets. “Shame,” he said, looking me over.

“Didn’t you have a message to deliver?” Eyana asked wryly.

“Oh yeah.” The heat faded from his expression as he broke into a grin. “The gamma you rescued; his name is Brev. He asked me to thank you for saving him if I could. Because I’m AEO, I knew a beta visited your apartment regularly, so I introduced myself to Eyana and asked her to bring you here.”

Eyana glanced down at me. “You’d wondered out loud about Brev’s status, so I thought you would be amiable to the meeting.”

This was making my head spin. “I wasn’t the one who commuted his sentence. He should be thanking Gavin, not me.”

Vik’s mouth crooked. “You’re so innocent.”

“He’s still an outsider,” said Eyana. “You can’t expect him to understand our ways.” She placed me onto the floor and sat beside me. “Explain it to him.”

“You’re the scientist. You explain it.”

She lifted a hand, a note of teasing in her voice. “It’s your message to deliver, is it not?”

“Shit.” Vik dropped into a crouch in front of me, stretching the denim of his jeans tight around his thighs. “No one can change an Alpha’s mind. Everyone knows that. So when the AEO are called in about an incident against one, betas tend to accept their fates because they’re all logical and submissive and don’t fight fights they can’t win.” He glanced at Eyana. “No offense.”

“It’s not an insult,” she replied, still smiling.

“Anyway,” he returned his attention to me, “gammas are fighters by nature, so that’s what we tend do in any given situation. But even we know that lessers never win against Alphas. Get it?”

I shook my head.

He growled, but weirdly it seemed more like a thinking sound than one of irritation. “When an Alpha is involved, no one ever stands up for us, no one speaks for us. It’s pointless.” He lifted a hand. “Until you show up outta nowhere and do what everybody knows is impossible.”

My voice was barely audible, even to myself. “Me?”

Vik nodded. “You changed the original intent of an Alpha. You saved a gamma’s ass because of it.” Careful not to touch me, he leaned closer. “You’re a hero, Blake. Brev asked me to say thanks on his behalf, but all the lessers are grateful, believe me.”

Each new person I met seemed intent on escalating the mythology of Blake Crowder. “If what I’d done was really so significant, my Alpha would have said something.”

This time Eyana intervened on his behalf. “It’s likely Alpha Gavin simply doesn’t know. Lesser affairs are of little interest to someone possessing his status.”

I winced, but couldn’t argue. “Please tell Brev that I’m touched by his words, but that I don’t deserve this kind of praise.”

A slow grin spread over Vik’s mouth. “Are you sure you don’t wanna fuck? I think I’d risk an Alpha’s wrath for you.”

“See?” said Eyana, laughing. “I told you their passion was invigorating.”

Invigorating was one way to put it. Scary as hell worked too. But it was a good kind of scary. Like a rollercoaster. “Th-Thank you for the offer, but no. I’m…attached to Gavin.”

“Hmm,” he murmured, as if he had trouble processing such a concept. Then he settled onto the floor and leaned back on his elbows. “Wanna hang out? I got nothing else planned for today.”

Already I felt as if I’d made a friend. “I’d like that.”

The three of us talked about ‘lesser’ culture for a while, and what little they told me turned out to be much deeper and more complex than the way Gavin had explained it. Then we went outside, took an honest-to-god nature walk. It was fun. Quiet. Time I’d needed.

Time with friends.

*****

I started to pull off my shirt, hesitated. “Gavin, is the inside of this apartment under AEO surveillance?”

“Of course.” He was already naked, and he rose up on his knees to give himself a long, hard stretch. A ripple of power went through every one of his muscles, making them tighten in some places, swell in others.

For a second, I just watched from my position on his pillow. His broad, thick shoulders tapered down to a beautifully sculpted chest and stomach. His quads flexed into four distinct heads of muscle over his thighs. And every line and curve was a study in grace even as he did something as simple as breathe. I never got tired of this. As much as I’d admired Vik’s form earlier, I seemed to prefer an Alpha’s form immensely.

No. That wasn’t right. After all, I thought Vik was more attractive than Kieric and many of the Alphas I’d glimpsed at school.

Gavin’s body specifically. And ‘prefer’ was the wrong word. Wanted. Needed.

He locked his hands together behind his neck and eyed me expectantly. “Well?”

Oh, right. The clothes. I started to remove my shirt again, thought about those unseen cameras, and stopped. “The surveillance reaches into the bedroom as well?”

“All the rooms. The system’s built into the structure of the walls, so there are no blind spots.” He tilted his head to the side when I cringed. “Shy? After all this time?”

“Horrified,” I countered, marveling at how at ease he was in nothing but his skin. Although I supposed that came naturally to people who grew up in a society with no concept of privacy. “I don’t like the idea of people watching us when we have sex. Or when I go to the bathroom.”

Grinning, he dropped his hands to the sides. “They’re probably not watching us. There aren’t enough AEO for that, so the system scans for suspicious anomalies and spoken words, keys in on those. The AEO will do random scans, but I doubt they’ve ever seen the inside of this bedroom. The system is so thorough in case a crime slips through the cracks—makes it easy to backtrack from the scene via the recordings.”

This was supposed to set me at ease? “There’s recorded footage out there of us having sex?”

“Blake,” he said, chuckling, “we’ve had sex at school plenty of times. What’s the difference if a few law keepers see us?”

“I… At school…” I forced myself to take a breath. “When we have sex in public I’m always aware of that, and I keep a piece of myself locked away. When it’s just you and me, I…” The words stuck in my throat. What was I trying to say here?

Gavin’s face softened as he leaned over me, bracing his forearms on each side of my body. His weight compressed the edges of the pillow and pushed the middle—along with me—higher. “You let me see more of yourself when we’re alone. I do notice that.”

He paid more attention to me than I did. I don’t know why that always surprised me.

Blowing a gentle breath over my body, he lowered his head. “What if something happened to you? How would I get the facts I need?”

Jovin’s attack was still fresh in both our minds. But somehow I knew that even now Jovin wouldn’t allow surveillance within his home and shop. “I belong to you, right? Wouldn’t you be able to access the footage right outside the apartment?”

He stopped short, grinned. “You’ve become quite familiar with Jascian society in your short time here, Blake.”

“Not much of a choice,” I said, chuckling.

His smile faded. “I’ll opt out of AEO surveillance first thing in the morning.”

The change in mood caught me off-guard. “No…I need to get used to your culture.”

“You’ve adapted fine.” One of his fingers found its way to my hair. “You get a pass on this part.”

Again I got the impression that I was being treated with much more consideration than the average toy. “Why do you do so much for me?”

“You say that like I spoil you,” he said, the pad of his finger slipping to my cheek.

“Because that’s exactly what you do. Anything I ask, you give it to me, no matter how unreasonable.”

“You’ve got it all wrong, Blake. The first thing you asked—begged—from me, was to go home. I couldn’t do that.” He nuzzled my body, and my own was trained so well that I instinctively arched into his face. “And now I’d do anything to keep you here. Give up any…” Gavin swallowed, lifting his head. “Since then, the things you ask for are so insignificant. A change in clothes. A chance to help your friends. A little privacy. If it makes you more content to stay here with me, if it strengthens our bond, then how could I not give them to you?”

This…relationship we had. I didn’t know how to define it. But it wasn’t one of owner and toy.

“I-I’m more than content to stay here with you,” I said awkwardly.

His smile was shaky, relieved. “Yeah?”

I nodded, but I wasn’t ready to say more. Instead, I reached up and tugged on a lock of hair hanging over his forehead. “Your eyes are so blue.”

“Just now noticing?” he teased, sliding a thumb under my shirt.

Pleasure coursed through me, making my breathing shallow, beginning to coax my eyes closed. I kept them open through sheer force of will. “That pure, honest color was the only thing that held me together my first day here.”

The thumb on my abs paused, then slipped away. Gavin laid his head next to me. “Sleep on my pillow tonight? Promise not to roll over on you.”

“Sleep? I thought we were going to,” my voice dropped to a whisper, “you know.”

He grinned. Sly. But intimate, too. “You wouldn’t be able to let go tonight, and I like it better when you do. As soon as I place that call to AEO tomorrow morning, though, we’re making up for lost time.”

Alpha affection. It was a dizzying combination of gruff, tender, aggressive. But these days I was not only used to it, I craved it. “I’ll be sure to get plenty of rest.”

One of his arms lined the top of the pillow while the other curled around the bottom. His version of a hug, I supposed. “Goodnight, Blake.”

The first embrace I’d ever gotten from him was over eight years ago, and I hadn’t appreciated it because he was just a child in a dream. Now I was in… The man was special to me, and I’d never feel his arms around my body. “Goodnight,” I said, forcing a smile as the lights went out.

It wasn’t a lie when I’d told him I was more than content.

But was I happy?

Could I ever be?

[Rowan]

Remember when I used to post damned near every Friday? That was fun, yeah? lol.

I think this is my last installment of Jascian on this forum. I’m inclined to say it’s the last story I plan to post, but I don’t know, so let’s call it an extended hiatus. While this is somewhat influenced by the recent brouhaha, the truth is I’ve been thinking of leaving for a long time. I feel like the overall tone of the forum has changed over the last year, and the place no longer feels like home to me.

I could be completely wrong about this, of course. In all probability, *I’m* the one who’s changed, not the forum. But the bottom line’s the same. The fact is I used to race into new installments of all my stories because I couldn’t wait to post, and then somehow I got to a state where I almost dreaded it. Still, being able to cut loose and write whatever crazy-ass story that came to mind was a huge draw.

My natural inclination is to fade out, without a public goodbye. But given the drama of the last week or so it would have looked really, really bad for me to have posted this chapter elsewhere with no explanation, so that's the reason for this overlong comment.

Personally, I don’t think Flex was wrong to change his guidelines. He’s a publisher of free stories and it happens all the time. But I’ve got my own site now, and I should be putting most of my content there first anyway. And like has been said-- lots of talented writers on this forum. This was a great place for me to hone my skills and refine my style. As I’ve stated many times before, without this place I never would have gotten published, and I’m far from unique. But right now I've gotta figure out where the hell my muse has run off to, in my own space.

So, without any sarcasm, I'm echoing my first point: It’s been fun, Ev. Bye for now.

[TheMM]

An excellent chapter Rowan.

But one question...

I do hope you're not wholly leaving or anything. The choice of course is yours if you wish to stop posting stories, I'm not questioning that. Merely asking, are you going for good?

[silvershadow]

NOOOOOO don't leave pretty please your oh so talanted. I have enjoyed every bit of this story its so much more then what these forums are for. I really really hope your not leaveing for good. Also good luck finding what you're searching for.

[muscl4life]

This is the kind of story which can't actually be "ended" abruptly so you have found a great way to put it on a gentle simmer until you decide the new directions you will or will not take. You've been a great contributor to this forum, and I am proud to have watched the growth of your innate skills.

Although I sometimes also feel like I don't belong to this forum anymore, change is the ultimate force of life, so we have to adapt and ajust without losing our essence (or at least this is the crappy argument I use to take a deep breath and don't give up).

Whatever you decide to do about this or your other stories, don't ever be a stranger - you can still hang in the forum to support other guys who like us writers had the initial courage to overcome their own personal shame to post their most intimate fantasies to complete strangers. We might feel that we are "old" for most of the new readers, but remember that it was probably some "old" story that showed you that someone else, besides you (or me) in the world fantasized about a man growing more muscular.

Congratulations for your achievements, and I hope you might accomplish many more, because you sure deserve it.

Cheers!

[skumbum]

Such a good writer...

[Adam]

Whether Rowan ever comes back to this forum or not, he has strongly implied that he will continue to post stories on HIS website, www.rowanmcbride.com. I'd advise all of his fans to bookmark that site; I already have.

[Rowan]

Dude, neither Jascian nor I are *dead.* We're literally one click a way. Like Adam said, my site's www.RowanMcBride.com, and I even have a mailing list that lets my readers know when new installments of free stories are up and when new books are out: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/rowan_mcbride/.

Relax. It's not that big a deal.

[Cobaltous]

Caution: fan boy moment

"Omg, omg! I love this story"

End of fan boy moment.

Ahem. I remember when I first joined this forum and I found myself not as active and even lurked for a long period of time. (of course, I was under a different account at the time) Until I began reading Jascian's Toy, I did not comment before, but I could not ignore your talent. (I am not saying there is not other talent here.) I was definitely hooked by the first chapter.

I have become more active over the past couple of weeks. Even though I cannot sympathize with the reason for leaving, I respect your decision. I have made sure to bookmark your website(s), and I would like to look into your other stories.

My only request is that I sincerely hope you will continue to develop Jascian's Toy. You have created a spectacular story.

I wish you nothing but happiness and prosperity in your days.

Best regards,
Cobalt

[philat99]

I'm sorry to see you go from the Forum. I've bookmarked your blog and website for some time now, and hope to see updates of this and other of your fantastic works. I realize that you enjoy "stories in progress"!!! It just keep more of us on pins and needles for the next installments, wondering which of the many you've chosen to muse upon. Thanks for your great devotion to the Forum.
Mike

[ARCHEON]

Originally Posted by Rowan

This was a great place for me to hone my skills and refine my style. As I?ve stated many times before, without this place I never would have gotten published, and I?m far from unique.

That may be, Rowan. But as far as I'm concerned, you will always be considered legendary around here. Your writing and statesman-like behaviour on the EF clearly upped the ante on professionalism. So let us not say goodbye. Rather, as the French have it, au revoir.

Here's to finding your muse -- wherever that may be.

[growingbigger]

Originally Posted by Rowan

Dude, neither Jascian nor I are *dead.* We're literally one click a way. Like Adam said, my site's www.RowanMcBride.com, and I even have a mailing list that lets my readers know when new installments of free stories are up and when new books are out: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/rowan_mcbride/.

Damn, I'm there in an instant.

[umlerian49]

Rowan, you're story is simply amazing. You could be a highly accomplished science fiction writer if you choose (maybe you already are). I hadn't really followed the series, so I went back and read the whole thing from the beginning. So many fascinating philosophical threads. In the world you've created, a highly rigid and enforced social order maintains peace and prosperity and allows society to flourish largely free from social strife and suffering. In our world, the same sort of enforced caste system is most often itself a cause of suffering and usually violence.

I've come to know so many outstanding authors on this forum, and I've noticed that a common quality of the best is that their stories can easily stand alone even without the fetish aspect that initially drew us in; it's simply the icing on the cake.

Even if you no longer post them here, I'd love to read more about the characters-- how Blake validates himself in his new world, and how being a good person causes others to be good. I hope you'll post messages here letting us know of you're latest works and where to find them.

Writing comes from the heart and soul. Thanks for giving.

[The Pecman]

Always a pleasure to encounter writing talent at this level, Rowan, which is a rarity on the net.

I can see a lot of directions that the plot could take, particularly from the foreshadowing going on, and I'm intrigued by the potential of many of the peripheral characters. I hope you'll eventually find the time (and your muse) and continue the adventure. If you can answer the handful of questions I have -- why the aliens speak English, what would happen if the human character could grow to become as large as one of the Alphas, is there going to be some kind of caste war on the planet between the three alien groups -- that'd be even better.

I'm going to recommend the story to my friends over on the Best of Nifty.org forum, and we'll see if we can get some support for it.

Best of luck to you -- and please keep writing.

[Rowan]

Just to reiterate--

Jascian: Not Dead.
Me (writer of Jascian): Also Not Dead.

I know it sometimes seems that way because I've been working on this story for five years now, but I have a good feeling about this year. I *think* we'll see a conclusion to Blake and Gavin's story. I say "think" because I've learned the hard way not to make promises about serials. lol.

It's been a helluva ride, though, yeah? Nice to see some familiar faces I hadn't seen on the boards in a while. Sorta bittersweet to see new faces getting into the story right when I'm leaving the forum. But it's all good. You guys have given me a great send off by showing me that I hadn't faded into obscurity on these boards, and that means a lot to me.

As for future updates, I think it would be quite annoying for members to have me breeze in, post a link to an outside site, and breeze right out, so I won't be making Jascian updates here. But like I said above, my newsletter's low traffic and that's the best way to get updates on all my stories, both the published ones and the free ones: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/rowan_mcbride/. The welcome letter even walks you through how to choose the level of news you want from me. Easy peasy.

As for answering questions about the story... I try not to do that. Especially when the story's not finished. Sometimes I slip and say something (no sex in Davey's Destiny!) but usually I'm pretty good about sticking to that rule.

I'm a fair to decent writer and I've been working on "The Jascian's Toy" since 2005. Don't worry. I got this.

But if I were to somehow manage to lose a significant portion of it by the time I type "The End," feel free to throw virtual stones.

No, not really.

Throw Pocky. I like Pocky.

Good god I need to go bed...

[rairf]

*Pocky showers on Rowan* Another great installment. And this isn't the end of the world. Check out rowanmcbride.com... The stories on there are great..."Chasing Winter" is one of my favorites!

[memorex414]

It wasn?t a lie when I?d told him I was more than content.

But was I happy?

Could I ever be?

I'm a believer in contentment. Contentment to me means basic needs are met and very few detractors. Happiness is not a constant condition because happiness is an emotion. Happiness involves achieving one's heart's desire...when once attained happiness evaporates for a new pursuit.

That planet is wacky but that makes it interesting.

[umlerian49]

Rowan,

I'm a little embarrassed to have made the earlier comment about how you could be an accomplished sci fi writer. I realize now that you ARE an accomplished sci fi writer. Hope it didn't rub you the wrong way.

All my other fawning comments stand.

[Mass Driver]

There is a chapter 14 but you have to go to Rowan's website to read it.
I'm just hoping for chapter 15 some time soon.
I really have no right to talk about letting a story linger in limbo.
I have a few stories that I haven't added a chapter to in over three years.
The difference here is that Rowan has fans
that truely want to read another chapter of his fine stories.
I hope his muse comes in for a landing this close to St Valentine's Day,
and hits him with some passionate writing.

So, of course it follows that I hope Rowan...
Keeps Writing.

MD