Superior Revue ~ Epilogue

[Mass Driver]

Superior Revue
by dymondbolt
~~~~~

Epilogue

The three scientists were back in the chamber that sent two of them on their journey. As they exit it, they discovered a bit of change to their bodies. For one thing, they were all still in the shape they were as seen in the conference room. Including new appendages.

"Damn it. I still have this damned sword and helmet!!"

Jerry, her newly resurrected lover, turned to her with a sly grin on his face.
"Don't pitch a fit dear." Sonja turned to find that her husband was still shaped just like an angel.

"Oh!" Her shocked expression softened to a similar grin.

"I bet if you drop all that metal off of yourself, I can give you a real nice ride!" He spread his wings as he gave her a cheesy smile. The sound of a sword and helmet hitting the floor almost covered up Glen's next remark.

"You forgot to give Gabriel back his handkerchief, didn't you?!"

He also was shaped like an angel.

But all the response he got from Sonja was "Ooopps!" , as she was escorted out of the building. His frustration evaporated right after he shrugged his shoulders and his wings shrugged with them. He shrugged them a second time and a smile grew wider and wider on his face. He didn't stay inside for very long.

The End.

[silvershadow]

Ok I will admit I did not care for this story. It was a little difficult for me to understand. But it was very intresting for you to use differnt gods and demigods etc as your characters. How about you do another story like that. I would love to see one on Gabrial. Because If I remember right he is the fallen angel. I'm sure with your imagination that you have shown you could make a great story out of that. Good luck. I look forward to seeing more of what you come up with. You obvously have a nice vivid imagination.

[Generitrans]

I don't think this story had enough setup. The reader receives little to no indication of what's going on pretty much throughout, and has to piece it together bit by bit from context. I had no idea what was going on myself until almost the end of the first half, and was still rather confused until the exposition in the second half about changing their bodies to survive. Maybe that contributed to the whole rushed feeling of the story, but regardless it just felt like it was going way too fast. Confusion, love at first sight, ambrosia, transformation, return, all in the time it would take to make some figurative toast.

Properly told, this has the potential to be a much stronger story, but I think the execution was just lacking too much development here to work.

[michaelv2]

Well, I thought it was a pretty great story, though maybe he's preaching to the choir, I don't know. You'll never find a gem like this in popular media... a darling among the maidens. Thanks for reposting this.