Some helpful advice would be nice

[gmcra19]

I have almost a weird phobia of gyms. Odd ain't it? I start to have a minor panic attack when near a gym (that I'm aware of) and feel EXTREMELY uncomfortable in one. I feel as though I'm totally naked. It doesn't matter if the room was empty or if the room was full of a gaggle of girls. Same fearful feeling.

So I am going to do some things at home. Minor things.

I've never been to a bodybuilding show. I've been much too afraid. Afraid of getting my ass beaten for looking at a guy the wrong way.

But what I crave is the connections. Yes, I'm attracted to buff guys, pretty much just buff guys. But there must be a foundation beneath just muscle worship for the relationship to survive and grow. I seek to understand his needs and wants and fears and I hope to help him acheive his goals. I hope to ease his fears.

I'm very willing to learn what limitations are involved and I'm willing to cope with them if I understand what they are. I'm unsure if I could be with someone still totally in the closet. If they are partly in the closet, that's OK. Its not my place to out someone and its not my place to decide when a person is "ready" to come out, but I'm totally out and very open so I think it would be difficult to be with someone totally closeted, but I'm willing to try that.

Overall it comes to personality and how well he and I work together. Sex is freakin' sweet, but that usually doesn't take up the whole day. Does he like to cuddle? Does he like to kiss? Does he like to hike? Does he like to watch movies? Will he let me do my things and can he do things on his own.

ON a side note: I guess part of what spurred this was a deep frustration that on dating sites and sites like gay.com, manhunt, a4a or realjock, there are so many fakes that use someone elses pic and then say they want only "masculine, muscular." More than anything, I need a guy that's honest.