Memoirs of a Gay Jock 3

[luvyalots]

Previously, Will comes out to best friend and track teammate Johnny, but Johnny turns out to be gay also...

Saturday, October 18, 2003:

I barely slept a wink last night and I still can?t sleep tonight. I?m tired as hell, but I?m not?it?s weird. Every time I close my eyes, I see Johnny and I get those butterflies in my stomach again. Now I know I?m in love with him. I mean, if this isn?t love then I can?t imagine what love must feel like. And the worst part is, I can?t tell anyone. No one knows I?m gay except Johnny of course. In fact, Johnny is the first person I ever told. It?s driving me crazy!

Anyway, tonight was the Homecoming game at my old high school. It was a close one ? the team won by only a touchdown, so it was a good game. But I wasn?t really watching ? I was catching up with everyone I went to school with, mostly the guys on the track team. I was surprised by how I didn?t really miss them as much as I thought I would.

No one had really changed that much except for these two guys that used to be on the football team ? they got scholarships to play in college ? they were at the game and shit, did they bulk up. They?re freaking huge! Of course, they wore really tight shirts to show off their muscles and everyone was amazed at how big they had gotten. Naturally, some of the girls asked them to flex and naturally, they did. I swear their sleeves were going to tear to shreds.

Duane told me that they had to be taking steroids. There?s no way anyone can get that big, that fast without them, he said. I told him about Tomas and how some people can if they eat right and train right. He just shrugged. I grinned and told him that he should just ask them ? why didn?t he think of that? I was only joking but Duane looked at me weird. He bit his lip and did that thing with his eyes that used to always make me crazy ? that was before Johnny of course.

He said that he wasn?t about to go up to them and ask them if they juice ? and there was this slight look of fear on his face. I smiled, patted him on the shoulder and joked that I?d do it for him. So, I went up to them and said hi. They recognized me from the track team, but I had to remind them who I was ? I was far from the most popular guy in school and was actually surprised they even remembered me at all.

So I went, ?What have you guys been doing all summer, hanging out at juice bars?? I emphasized ?juice? while pointing at their blown-up arms ? they weren?t as big as Tomas? but they were still damn impressive. They looked at each other and laughed. They probably got that lot lately?and they seemed pretty proud of it.

That seemed to break the ice and we got to talking about college. They both said how football there is completely different from football in high school ? I said the same thing about track. They asked me where I was going ? I told them and they were like, ?we partied this summer with a couple of guys from there. They?re awesome.? I was surprised since they were going to school on the opposite side of the state, but I guess college parties attract a lot of people from all over the place.

When I went back to Duane he went, ?how did you just go up to them and talk to them like that?? I just shrugged and joked that it was jock thing. But come to think of it, a year ago I would?ve never done something like that. I guess I had gotten more confident ? probably because of Johnny. He?s pretty confident and maybe it rubbed off onto me.

Anyway, just then, Duane?s little brother Danny comes back from the concession stand, stuffing a cheeseburger into his mouth. At first, I thought, some things never change. But then I did a double take. Danny looked skinnier. Apparently, he had lost a ton of weight over the summer at the football training camp he went to. He plays on the freshman football team now and hopes to make Varsity next year. I told him good luck and that he looks good. He smirked and thanked me?while a piece of meat dropped down his chin.

According to Duane, he?s down to 170 now, so he?s lost something like 60 pounds. That?s pretty wild ? 60 pounds over the course of a few months. Of course Duane said he still eats like a pig?and that was obvious from the way he was wolfing down that cheeseburger.

Speaking of losing weight, I weighed myself at home and lost exactly six pounds since the summer ? so much for the freshman 15, right? I have to admit I?ve gotten into the habit of looking at myself in the mirror after getting out of the shower. My abs are looking more cut and I?m starting to see the striations in my legs. I mean, my body is nowhere near as perfect as Johnny?s but I?m getting there. Lol.

God, I miss him so much it hurts. I?m probably gonna leave first thing in the morning tomorrow so I can spend all Sunday afternoon with him. Man, I love being in love.


Saturday, November 22, 2003:

I think Johnny wants to have sex with me badly. I mean, I can tell in the way he looks at me, especially when he?s drunk.

We went to another party last night and I could tell the whole time he wanted to just go back to his dorm and have his way at me. He kept looking at me up and down and I swear I could see his dick twitch in his pants.

To be honest, I?m a little nervous about sex ? I?ve never had sex with a guy before and I don?t even know if I?d be on top or Johnny be on top. I know he?s never had sex with a guy before either, but I know he wants to with me.

Of course he doesn?t force me ? he would never do that. He won?t do it till I?m ready and totally wanting it, but I know it?s killing him. I mean, we make out every chance we can get ? lately in my dorm when Tomas isn?t around. I love the way his lats feel against my biceps when I hug him and the way he looks at me right before we kiss makes me almost faint. I know it?s lame-sounding, but it?s true.

The best parts are when he let?s me ?explore? his body. I love tracing the veins on his biceps, the feel of my tongue in the crease between his pecs, my mouth around each of his abs, my lips sliding along his obliques. God, I?m hard just thinking about it.

And then?oh, fuck?and then the other night, he let me blow him for the first time. I had seen his cock of course a bunch of times, but this was closest I had ever gotten to it. And just like the rest of him, it was perfect ? the perfect size, the perfect thickness. Obviously, I had never given head before, but he told me I was good?the best he?s ever gotten. I couldn?t take the whole thing without gagging, but I tried my best to wrap my tongue around his shaft. I grabbed his thighs hard ? I knew he could take my strength since his quads are shredded?his diamond cuts shifted underneath my fingers and that just made me work harder.

Fuck, it tasted better than I ever imagined. And then when he came ? first of all, the sound that came out of his mouth was this grunt that sounded so different, so ? I don?t know ? primal, almost. And his jizz tasted salty, but sweet. I tried swallowing as much as I could, but there was so much and it was coming so fast that I had to let a lot of it dribble out of my mouth.

When he was finished, I just sat back and watched his naked body on the couch. Every muscle in his torso was flexing in and out, I almost got hard again already. His balls ? and God, are they huge ? were still heavy and low and I knew he had at least another load of spunk inside for another round.

I knew he wanted more after that, but I was exhausted. Of course, I didn?t have to tell him ? he could tell. So he just let me cuddle with him until I fell asleep. I woke up the next morning in my bed. Johnny was gone and Tomas? gargantuan bulk was sleeping in his bed ? so what else is new.

I got up to take a shower, though I didn?t really want to ? I could still smell Johnny?s cologne on me from the night before. When I got back to my dorm, Tomas was stirring ? his bed creaked loudly underneath his huge body. If he gets any bigger, he?ll break the damn thing. He?s up to 270 pounds now and while he?s far from ripped ? like Johnny ? it?s obvious he has plenty of muscle underneath his fat. You can make out abs in his muscle gut and his pecs are like two slabs of meat that bunch up into balloons when he crosses his arms. I?ve seen him lift in the weight room ? it?s scary how strong he is. I can only imagine how far those shot puts will fly come track season ? and he still has another couple of months to bulk up. I know he wants to.

Anyway, I met up with Johnny later that day for lunch after Psych. He apologized for leaving me in the middle of the night, but he knew Tomas was about to come back and he didn?t want him to get any ideas about us. I told him he never has to apologize for something like that. We both wish we could be out of the closet ? at least to our roommates ? but we both are nervous about how our sexuality would be taken by the rest of the team. Johnny seems to be confident that it would be ok ? it?s college, no one cares, he keeps saying ? but I told him I wanted to at least get through one season of track.

Speaking of track, we started daily practices this week. Man, are they killers. I?m sore every night, but Johnny always makes me feel better. He keeps tell me how hot my body is getting. Yeah, whatever. I lost a little more weight ? almost down to 150 now ? and my bodyfat is lower than it?s ever been in my life.

Johnny, on the other hand, actually looks like he?s getting bigger. Well, not bigger in the way Tomas is of course, but more muscular. His arms look a little thicker and his shoulders a bit wider somehow. Yet his abs are just as shredded and his thighs just as cut as ever. He?s so ripped, he has those veins in his lower abs that are so hot. God, I can?t stand it whenever he takes his shirt off. He just gets hotter and hotter.


Sunday, November 30, 2003:

I?ve been home the past few days for Thanksgiving. Of course, I?m missing Johnny like crazy, but I promised myself I would try not to think about him too much. It drives me up the wall to the point where I can?t enjoy myself when I?m without him. So this will be the last I mention him in this entry?I promise.

So, anyway, like I said, we just had Thanksgiving and naturally mom invited the Matthews? over for dinner like she does every year. So Duane and his little brother were there. I like seeing Duane every time I come home and all, but?it?s funny, you know, I used to have this huge crush on him, but now he just seems really plain. I mean, if I were to meet him now, I wouldn?t think anything of him. Well, he?s still good-looking and everything, but he pales in comparison to Johnny. Damn, I promised I wasn?t going to say his name ? whatever?

I feel a little guilty because Duane?s a nice guy, but?what the hell am I saying? He never knew I had liked him ? why would I have to feel guilty about not crushing on him anymore? He?s actually getting kinda fat anyway?you know, the whole freshman 15 thing. He looks a little pudgy when I always remembered him being in pretty good shape?or at least in pretty good shape for a band geek.

He commented on how good I looked, how I was looking fit and all. I thanked him, wishing I could return the compliment. I lied and said he looked good. He laughed and said he had actually gained 20 pounds since school started. Again it?s funny ? the old me would have felt ashamed for making him admit that, but I felt nothing. I guess you can say I didn?t care, though that?s probably too harsh of a way to put it.

Duane?s little brother Danny, on the other hand, looks like he?s lost even more weight since the last time I saw him. He?s actually looking skinny ? never thought I?d say that about him. He?s lost another 10 pounds so he?s at 160 pounds?when he used to weigh 230 at the beginning of the summer. That?s 70 pounds in, like, less than six months. I didn?t think it was possible for someone to lose that much weight so quickly, but apparently it is.

Duane said that Danny was away most of the summer at some camp. It wasn?t a fat camp or anything, but more like a training camp that taught him how to get into shape ? you know, things like proper diet and exercise. I told him Danny was looking pretty good ? he should be proud of himself.

Apparently, he had been playing on the freshman football team and now wants to go out for wrestling. He wants to lose even more weight so that by the time the season starts, he?ll be really trim. I asked Duane if Danny was worried about losing strength ? I knew a few guys on the wrestling team in high school who always worried about that when they were cutting. He just shrugged and said he just couldn?t get how the kid could be hammering down so much food yet still lose so much weight. Duane obviously doesn?t know anything about food energy and metabolism.

I understood Duane?s reaction when I saw Danny eating at dinner. He must have had thirds and fourths of everything. I don?t think there was a moment when he wasn?t shoving a forkful of food into his mouth. Of course, my mom had to say some lame remark about breathing between bites.

After dinner, Duane and I went into the basement to play video games. It?s a nice setup down there with an entertainment center, a huge pull-out couch and a half bathroom ? it?s kind of like my own apartment. I would always go down there to get away from my mom in high school and I?ve had my share of parties down there with the track guys ? nothing crazy like the ones in college though.

So anyway, Duane and I were playing Gran Turismo 3 when Danny came down and wanted to play with us. I have to admit I was a little surprised since he had always been a quiet kid and stayed out of our way. Duane told him to wait and that he could play the next round. Danny let out this really gruff ?fine? and crossed his arms in this really bratty way that almost made me laugh.

There?s also this cabinet down there with a few track trophies displayed haphazardly on a shelf ? nothing fancy since I wasn?t a star or anything. So, Danny saw them and went over to start looking at them. Suddenly, he asked me what events I did. I told him ? 400 and hurdles. Then he went, ?I?d like to do the hurdles this season.?

Duane burst out laughing, making Danny give him this nasty look that, again, almost made me laugh. He told his little brother that he couldn?t quit wrestling before he even started, but Danny told him that track is a Spring sport.

He could do football in the Fall, wrestling in the Winter and track in the Spring ? that?s what he told him. Despite the overly-important look on the kid?s face, I had to agree with him. I almost said something, too, but then, Duane made this sarcastic remark about his little brother becoming a dumb jock to which Danny blurted out, ?I?ll show you who?s dumb.? He rushed toward the couch and tried to jump on Duane. Immediately, I got between them ? it?s a good thing I?m still fast and in good shape cause it took me a little more strength to push Danny away than I thought it would. He started laughing and said he was only playing. Duane, on the other hand, had fallen off the couch and he had this look of almost fear on his face. Still smiling, Danny held out his hand to help his brother up, gesturing that he was only playing. No harm was done ? Duane got over it quickly, especially when he realized Danny wasn?t serious.

They left soon after that when Mrs. Matthews said it was getting late. At first, I was a little surprised at how Danny acted that night. I mean, he was always kinda weird, but he was never that aggressive before. I guess the kid is just changing. He?s lost a ton of weight and joined the football team, so he just has more confidence. That might explain why he?s so different now. He?s only acting how all the jocks act in high school. I just hope he doesn?t become a total asshole.

God, I sound like my psych professor?


Tuesday, December 9, 2003:

Um, I?m not sure exactly how to say this, but, uh?I had sex with Johnny last night! Yeah, I still can?t believe it actually happened. It feels like a dream. The whole night was a blur, yet I remember every single feeling I felt the entire time. It happened so fast, I didn?t even have time to process what was happening until we were actually doing it. I guess I should start at the beginning.

After track practice, Johnny and I went to the Student Center for a bite to eat like we usually do. We were both starving. Our appetites have been skyrocketing lately ? even more than normal ? and we felt like we could eat a horse?each.

Anyway, as we were sitting down, Tomas came in and instantly began filling two huge trays with food ? I mean, like mountains of food. He must?ve grabbed one or two of everything on the buffet. I can only imagine how many meal points he uses per day. You should?ve seen him balancing those trays in his arms as walked into the seating area.

When he passed by us, Johnny made a joke about how it was nice of him to get food for the whole girls? track team. He turned to look at us, smiled and said that this was only his first trip ? he was going back for more at least once or twice before he would be full. No wonder the guy got to be 275 pounds. Of course, it?s not all fat ? he has a shit-ton of muscle?far more than Johnny and me put together.

After he left, I said to Johnny that I wouldn?t be expecting Tomas back in my dorm for a long time. I initially didn?t mean anything by it, but then Johnny shot me this really dirty look and knew exactly what he was thinking. We would have my dorm to ourselves for at least a few hours.

So, after scarfing down our dinners ? which, trust me, was not hard to do since I was so hungry ? we went back to my dorm. Almost immediately after closing the door, we started making out. I mean, our shirts were history within seconds and my hands began wandering all over Johnny?s body. God, every inch of him was hard and cut ? I could feel the striations in his delts, the shreds in his pecs, the rock-hard bumps in his abs. I told him I swore he was getting more muscular to which he said, ?And what, you?re not?? in a voice that made me shiver.

Suddenly, he grabbed my head and pushed me further into him, kissing me with this fierceness ? I knew he wanted more. Fighting the urge to just collapse into his arms, I took hold of his hips, threw him down onto my bed and climbed on top of him, all the while staring at him in lust. He grinned ? he seems to love it when I take control. I pinned his wrists above his head and lunged for his tensed abs, licking his six-pack. I heard him hiss a few curse words and felt his dick twitch against my chest. We both knew what was coming next.

I relaxed my grip on Johnny and propped myself above him, just taking in the perfection of his body. He placed his hands on my triceps, gently massaging them as if he was trying to feel their hardness. I looked down and saw that his track pants had slipped down his hips a bit, the veins in his chiseled lower abdomen peeking out from beneath the waistband. Then our eyes met and he said the words I still can?t believe actually came out of his mouth.

I want you to fuck me.

I asked him if he was sure ? he nodded. To be honest, I wasn?t sure myself. We had given each other head several times by now ? they were mind-blowing of course ? and I wasn?t sure if I could handle having sex with Johnny. I mean, I?ve had casual sex with other people before ? Janine most recently ? but they didn?t mean anything to me?certainly nothing like Johnny.

Still gazing at me, Johnny slowly pulled my track pants down over my butt and around my thighs. My cock sprang out, thwacking me in the stomach. He looked down at it ? almost as if he were in awe or something ? and took it in his hand. I felt the warmth of his fingers against the cold of my shaft. I knew he wanted it inside of him.

Johnny pulled himself up to kiss me, his abs crunching together as he did. I closed my eyes and sighed. I couldn?t say no ? not to him. I knew he was a virgin?or at least an ass-virgin. But he wanted me to be the one ? I knew he was my ?one.?

I got up to put on a condom. My hands were shaking as I did ? I couldn?t believe I was about to do this. I grabbed a bottle of lube and took a deep breath. When I turned around, I nearly blacked out ? there, standing at the foot of my bed was Johnny, his back to me?completely nude. I know I?ve used the word perfect so many times to describe him, but there just isn?t any other word. From his diamond-etched calves and rippling hamstrings to his marble-carved back and broad shoulders, Johnny was?well, perfect.

I came up behind him and put my arms around him like I?ve done so many times. I felt his lats expand as he breathed, my fingers fitting inside the cobblestone valleys of his abs. He turned his head and reached around to kiss him again. I asked him if he was ready ? he moaned his reply. Without warning, I pushed him face-first onto my bed and held myself over him, admiring his physique once again.

I took some lube and rubbed it all over the rock-hard globes of his bubble butt. Johnny let out a few more groans as I worked my fingers a little into his ass-crack. I figured I should just use my fingers first, to loosen him up. Slowly, I slid my index finger into him. Almost immediately, he gasped and his glutes flexed, trapping my finger like a steel vice. Shit, that hurt ? I didn?t think ass muscles were so strong.

I apologized but he said he just wasn?t expecting it. I took a deep breath ? my heart was pounding ? and tried again. This time, I could tell he was trying his hardest not to clamp up ? his hamstrings twitched and his ass-cheeks quivered, but he tried his hardest to keep his anus relaxed as my finger glided further into him. I finger-fucked him for a little bit until he got used to it. He was tight, that was for sure ? tighter than any girl I had ever been with. I pulled my finger out and looked down at him ? I didn?t need any word to know he was ready for the real thing.

I propped myself above Johnny. My heart was practically thumping out of my chest and I knew his was doing the same. I looked down at my pulsing cock barely an inch from his butt. I almost didn?t know what to do next, if you can believe that. I mean, this was completely different from having sex with a girl.

Finally, I just went for it. I gingerly guided my cock into Johnny?s ass. Instantly, he gasped and I could tell he was trying as hard as hell not to clench ? my dick is a helluva lot thicker than my finger. I pushed a little further. I could hear his labored breathing and he clutch the pillow tightly with his hands ? no doubt this was really painful, but he wasn?t going tell me to pull out. He urged me to keep going?and I did. There was no way I was going to get all seven inches inside of him, especially since the first few inches seemed excruciating for him ? his face was buried in the pillow and it sounded like he was forcing back tears?but he wanted me to keep going.

Eventually, Johnny started calming down and I began moving faster. The feeling that rushed through me every time I moved even a little bit was mind-numbing ? I could only imagine what he was going through. He kept telling me faster, faster ? the sound of his voice growing more certain each time. His hands were no longer clutching the pillow and his back muscles shifted as he moved his body along to my rhythm. I went faster and plunged harder into him, practically pounding him. Each stroke sent intense waves of?I can?t find the word?pleasure through me. I began grunting as sweat poured down my body ? I knew I was nearing climax?and it sounded like Johnny was, too.

At last, I shot probably the largest load I had ever shot in my life, letting out a huge roar. But I didn?t stop, letting my jizz squirt out of his ass and flying in every direction. I nearly passed out from the exertion, instead collapsing next to Johnny on the bed. He lay motionless, just gazing at me with glazed eyes. He mouthed, ?Wow,? though no sound came out. Tears were streaming down his face?both from the pain and the realization that we had finally done it. I wrapped my arms around him, held his body next to me and kissed him.

I think it was the first time Johnny and I had ever slept together for an entire night. Luckily, Tomas never came back ? he had eaten so much last night, he probably fell into a food coma in someone else?s dorm. I woke up this morning with my arms still wrapped around Johnny, his head nuzzled against my chest. It?s funny, I never expected to be the dominant one in the relationship ? Johnny always seemed to have more confidence and he was probably the stronger of the two of us.

He started stirring and opened his eyes ? they were still under the same glaze they were after we finished having sex. He moaned and buried his face even further into that nook between my pec and my shoulder. I told him I had an 8:30 class ? he told me to skip it. I worried aloud that Tomas might come back and find us ? he said he didn?t care. Johnny simply didn?t want to leave my embrace ? I didn?t want him to. It was like I was protecting him. I don?t know how much longer we lay there together, our still-naked bodies pressed against each other. I could feel his heart beating, his pecs bouncing against my upper abs every now and then as he moved his arms. Finally, we realized that we had to get up ? I had an English paper to finish and someone was going to find us sooner or later.

It?s been a few hours since Johnny left, but I can still smell him on me?even after taking a shower. I knew right after we had done it that our relationship had gone to a whole new level. We have track practice tonight and I don?t know how I?m going to get through it without starting at Johnny the entire time ? following his tight ass as we run laps, knowing that I was inside of it last night. Fuck, I won?t be able to concentrate on training anymore.

But what floats through my head the most is the last thing he said to me before he left:

I love you.

[mslheet]

Hot, sentimental, great characters - your stories always get me.

[khsbig]

another great chapter... thanks!

[LoveEmBig]

wow dude! you've managed to capture 'beautiful' and 'fuckin hot' together in this story... keep up the awesome work!