Big New World Chapter 15

[umlerian49]

Story withdrawn.

[JP71]

I often wonder the same thing: "Am I putting enough sex and muscle-growth into my stories?" It's often a concern of mine, especially when you have to do those "big drama moment" chapters, or weigh it down with inadvertant exposition that just gets away from you at times.

But you know what? Fuck it. For me a story develops organically, and I ALWAYS make it up as I go along, so that I'm swept away by the story's current as much as its readers are. If a chapter tends to go for drama, or action, over sex and muscle, so be it. I would never try to pad out a story with extraneous/gratuitous "muscle-fuck filler" if the story didn't call for it.

I have "cum" many times to both of Alex's stories (more so The Wide Prairie Sky, which had quite a bit of incredible muscle-growth throughout Alex's early stages of development). And I will admit to keeping copies in which I high-light the arousing bits, so that I can go back to them again and again when the mood seizes me (I wonder how many others do this too).

Your stories are well-liked on this board, regardless of how you choose to portray them. You have an exquisite understanding of the human condition, and it shows in the excellence of your craft with its way-too-natural dialogue. If I could write half as well as you, umlerian49, I would be twice as good a writer as I am now (and probably a published success as well).

Your latest chapter is another "Perfect 10" for me.... and you have teased and whetted so many appetites with the promise of Miami Beach... sun, sea, sand, sun-tan lotion and so much of Alex's body on show.

All I can ask is.... PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE have Dillup find Alex the tightest speedo, one that matches Ryan's... and preferably pink, as pink speedos on muscular men sends my pulse soaring. I think it would be an obvious next step for Alex, to finally be in an environment where he's not having to be careful where he sits or who he bumps into. A place where to be as massively muscular as he would have him revered almost to demi-god status.

Don't leave me waiting too long, or else I may just drown in my own drool.

[Ender]

Hmmm, Not much new information, but Lorna Luft is revealed as a serious threat to Alex... I like the phrase "Lorna flashed her thousands of teeth" echoing her true nature... Shark! When Alex and Ryan happened across Lorna and company in the ditch my first thought was Setup. And I'd bet that the camera guy in the car wasn't the only camera guy watching Alex pull the car out of the ditch. We can expect Johnson Wrecker Service to be featured on the Eleven O'Clock News, along with Alex and Ryan being publicly out'ed.

Alex needs a vacation and deserves a bit of fun in the sun. But I have serious doubts about whether Alex will fit in an airplane seat, even in first class. Being short 5'5" I don't have a problem, and even though I would love to be taller, I wouldn't want to be over 5'9" or so. And since they started charging obese people for a second seat I can see them wanting to charge Alex for several... Finding a hotel room to fit Alex will be a lot of fun too... Do they sell sun screen and tanning products by the gallon?

I agree with JP71... the story and the character are what it's all about, Sex and actual growth is a minor thing... How the characters deal with the changes they are under going are what's really interesting... And you do a great job telling that story.

Ender

[Reeza]

Originally Posted by JP71

Don't leave me waiting too long, or else I may just drown in my own drool.

While JP71 can't wait for more, I have to say I'm having a hard time keeping up with the frequency of your chapters. You might say this is a good problem to have, but, if I may make a crude analogy, it's kind of like having too much cum in your mouth - it sounds nice until you try to swallow it all at once . . . urk!

This is a story I like to savor rather than gulp. If I were reading it just for hot sex scenes I would be chugging away every evening. Alas, I haven't read this chapter yet because I haven't read 10, 11, 12, 13, and 14! This backlog occurred while I was on vacation for a couple of weeks, and now I feel like I need to set aside several hours to catch up and I just haven't found the time. Maybe this weekend.

So that's why I haven't been commenting lately. It's not because something is lacking - it's because I am overwhelmed by your prolificacy. Please roll over and take a nap while I digest!

[Demandred]

The issue of sex and muscle vs. storyline and such like is something I've pondered about too Umlerian when I've been writing. "Oh gawd, what if I write this and people wonder why it's on a MG forum?"... and so on. On this forum we're so lucky to have a huge array of stories to choose from. Some people want a story with nothing but a shitton of muscle growth and rampant sex, and others prefer to have a storyline to accompany it. There's benefits and drawbacks to each kind (and categorising doesn't really do justice to the stories we have here to enjoy) but that's how I see it.

JP71's quite right though - just write what feels right! But I know I wouldn't complain if I found more delicious descriptions of Alex and the things he gets up to with Ryan. Though how Alex deals with his size is always great to read. And going on a plane, I look forward to reading about his complaints about portion sizes and getting stuck in the tiny toilets on board!

[Jack of Blades]

First of all... YAY! Alex in skimpyness on the beach! Fun in the sun with Ryan!

Secondly, of course, this chapter is an excellent example of why you SHOULD keep going. There isn't much sex, or growth (then again, the growth was mainly before in the previous story), but there's plenty of hot stuff anyway, especially with Mr Happy (LOVE HIM). I gotta admit, despite him being such an ubersexy guy physically, I find Ryan to be the most sexually attractive, as he's got that attitude. And an amazing body all of his own. Though I suspect in part that's thanks to the fact we see him though Alex's adoring eyes.

Oh, and two more things. With the mention of Ryan's surname, Miyashi, and the mentioning of his parents being loaded, I was reminded of the "Disappointed Asian Father" meme. "You have 600lb muscle giant boyfriend? Why not 800lb?! Son, I am disappoint."
Finally, JP? " pink speedos on muscular men sends my pulse soaring." Here:
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-rs3Hlzcxjr...s1600/pink.jpg

[Ender]

The real question is does the reader want characters that they care about or anonymous bodies humping each other... Personally watching strangers having sex is not a turn-on for me. And if it were watching a video would be more satisfying then reading about it. But understanding how people relate and interact is interesting to me.

I want to care about the characters and feel with them. This is something done better in a verbal medium than a visual one. In a verbal medium you listen to what the characters are thinking and why they do what they do. Sex between two people that care about each other can be something truly beautiful.

If what you're looking for are sweaty bodies pressed together in mindless animal lust, go rent a video and get a bottle of lube... you'll be much happier with the results.

Ender

[Mdlftr]

I love the humor in this series. You had muscle growth earlier, and you've had continuing displays of the muscle strength and size, so, I'M satisfied!

Great job!

Mdlftr

[philat99]

Your allusions to muscle growth are fine enough for me. The story line is great! Great new chapter. Lorna has gotten to be quite the pain. And, Miami has no idea what's coming its way!!!