Feeling Not Big Enough

[Muscub]

Lots of great threads in this forum on the positive experiences people have had and lots of great support/encouragement from others. I was just wondering if others have their down days too. Don't really mean this thread to be a bunch of sad stories, but rather wanted to know if other people can relate and sometimes think the same things. Ultimately the down days become added motivation to keep going and training hard/eating clean. Here is my down day experience:

Just came back from Lazy Bear in Guerneville, CA. Lazy Bear is basically a week-long bear gathering where there are pool parties, tubing on the river, bonfires as well as dance parties at night. There are a range of guys who attend but most are bears, ranging from chubby bears to full-on musclebears who look like thick beefy off-season bodybuilders. It was definitely exciting to see the eyecandy, but for someone who loves big muscle and is working hard on getting bigger, it does feel sometimes like you're on the outside looking in. The musclebears tend to run in packs and socialize amongst themselves. It's sort of like looking at the popular kids in high school, but sort of not. They do seem set apart but I don't really get the sense that they are mean-spirited or all that elitist. While I had fun during the weekend, it did make me feel a little melancholy. I left wondering, why not me, when am I going to be that big guy? Again, its not anything particularly sad and not really a big deal, but just wondering if people can relate.

[dodoria21]

I can definitely relate to the sentiment. You could say I've lived all my life feeling that way at times. The difference being I wasn't doing anything about it. Now I'd say that kind of down feeling is better translated into being a source of motivation to keep doing what I'm doing since I can see it's working.

To give a down day experience, the last couple days have been down days. I've been out of town house/dog sitting for a friend so I've been separated from my workout equipment. I've done some basic homemade workouts to keep the blood flowing, but now that it's been a week since I left, I'm just really missing the routine I had going and it's a bit of a downer. I go home tomorrow, but unfortunately have to immediately leave at dawn on Wednesday and won't be back until Thursday afternoon. So I am a bit down and not as pumped as I'd like to be, but at least I know I'll be doing something about it come thursday.

[darkknight]

I was one of the ones that created the experience threads ("I've decided to become a monster") but I know what you're feeling, because I share that feeling most of the time. i just like using that thread for more positive experiences!

But the truth is that most of the tiem I look at myself in the mirror and just don't feel big enough. Its become worrisome because now Im afraid it might turn into something psychological, when no matter how big i get, ill never feel big enough.

[Muscub]

Thanks guys. Nice to know I'm not alone thinking these things some time. I do work out at a gym with a lot of big guys in it. That's a choice I have made. It does make me feel sometimes like "when am I going to get there with my body?", but I think that's better than working out at a fitness gym where everyone is little and you're the biggest fish in a small pond.

I imagine even the biggest muscle guys struggle with not feeling big enough or tight enough. However, I think there must be some time when you feel like you've reached your goal or at least made a major step towards it. Still trying to figure out when that is for me. I think the diet I'm on and trying to drop my bodyfat to the single digits is a start.

[stronguns]

No matter how big and strong you are there is always going to be someone who is bigger and stronger. I work construction and am by far the strongest guy on our crew. Some guys have even asked me to hold back since I can work faster and longer than anyone else and it makes them look bad. And yet when I go to the gym there are many guys that I can't begin to match in strength or stamina and that is a good thing since it encourages me to work harder to achieve the next goal I set for myself.

[msllover]

Take heart Muscub! The path to size, if everything is in motion, is most often complicated by time. I can empathize with the notion of looking in. You at least are weight liftging and growing, so you're still part of the "Iron" culture.

Please be patient with yourself. You too will get there.

I've actually been w/ some guys who aren't huge, but they're buff and I go nuts for 'em and they talk about how it was a real boost for them to be worshipped (sometimes for the first time). Perhaps you could find a worshipper/muscle lover who would show you just how much you've changed and grown.

[msllover]

Hey DarkKnight,

It can become a psychological problem/issue. Sometimes, in our quest to affect positive change, we lose an objective view and almost become compulsive in trying to move toward a goal that may already be realized.

Sometimes a healthy thing to do it to really evaulate what we are. It might we wise to adopt a mantra of: I'm huge and I'm happy with my size, but I won't be upset if I grow more.

Of course the other thing to do is to stick someome like me or another average joe in a room w/ mirrors behind you at which point you could visually see: me vs. them. HUGE vs. average.

Remember to be honest with yourself about your current size. Its also fine to admit: I'm big but wouldn't mind getting bigger.