Mental Drive?

[iluvmassivemusl]

I'm pleased to report that I am doing pretty well on the whole. Lost 40lbs between this time last year and this year, bringing me to 320. http://bodyspace.bodybuilding.com/Crlocochef/
I have a big problem though, I want to, need to change myself more, and to do that I need to try. To try really hard.
But the truth is I have never done that very much, I can never stay motivated for very long, and always fall off the wagon sooner or later. I also have the fear of failure so that keeps me from trying my hardest so I can use the "I could have done better if I wanted to" excuse. I'll be blunt. One man is keeping whatever drive I can muster going, and it's not me but a close friend. I need to be able to drive myself though, and I want to know how.
How do you stay motivated?
What drives you?
I appreciate any advice I can get. And thank you.

[iluvmassivemusl]

And one more thing, this lack of motivation, it's in ALL aspects of my life, and has turned me into a HUGE procrastinator (in all aspects lol) Not just losing weight/gaining muscle.

[Aielyn]

The secret to motivation is to discover what it is, in the end, that motivates you. Each person has something that motivates them in everything they do. For instance, mine is self-improvement; everything I feel "driven" to do involves it.

Once you can identify that primary motivation to your life, you just have to find a way to link that motivation into whatever you want to do.

So the question isn't how you stay motivated, it's how your motivation works to begin with. There must be some things in your life that you are naturally motivated towards. Things that you don't even think requires any sort of willpower to do. Identify some of these, and then try to find the common thread between them - that common thread is your motivation. Find a way to link that into the aspects of your life for which you have trouble with staying motivated.

As I said, my motivation is self-improvement. Indeed, I wish that, back when I was in school, a teacher had explained to me the significance of sports and other physical activity towards self-improvement, as it might not have taken me an extra 7 years after I left school before I started working out. Instead, going through school, I dismissed sports and physical activity as unimportant, because the body, in my view at the time, was less important than the mind. I now know that it's all part of the whole, and thus I work out.

[Mdlftr]

Originally Posted by Aielyn

The secret to motivation is to discover what it is, in the end, that motivates you. Each person has something that motivates them in everything they do. For instance, mine is self-improvement; everything I feel "driven" to do involves it.

Once you can identify that primary motivation to your life, you just have to find a way to link that motivation into whatever you want to do.

So the question isn't how you stay motivated, it's how your motivation works to begin with. There must be some things in your life that you are naturally motivated towards. Things that you don't even think requires any sort of willpower to do. Identify some of these, and then try to find the common thread between them - that common thread is your motivation. Find a way to link that into the aspects of your life for which you have trouble with staying motivated.

As I said, my motivation is self-improvement. Indeed, I wish that, back when I was in school, a teacher had explained to me the significance of sports and other physical activity towards self-improvement, as it might not have taken me an extra 7 years after I left school before I started working out. Instead, going through school, I dismissed sports and physical activity as unimportant, because the body, in my view at the time, was less important than the mind. I now know that it's all part of the whole, and thus I work out.

GREAT statement here, Aielyn! I can certainly identify with the "mind" over "body" dichotomy because that is exactly the same message I got. "Focus on school. Athletics don't 'pay off' in terms of time invested unless you are using them to get a scholarship. Otherwise, don't waste your time."

The more life experience I get, the more I appreciate that everything is part of a whole: mind, body, spirit. Keeping things in balance is key to satisfaction and success in life.

Mdlftr

[iluvmassivemusl]

This is some great advice, I think my drive is for sex and love, so I'll plug that in and see what happens

[iluvmassivemusl]

Thank you

[Aielyn]

Originally Posted by Mdlftr

GREAT statement here, Aielyn! I can certainly identify with the "mind" over "body" dichotomy because that is exactly the same message I got. "Focus on school. Athletics don't 'pay off' in terms of time invested unless you are using them to get a scholarship. Otherwise, don't waste your time."

The more life experience I get, the more I appreciate that everything is part of a whole: mind, body, spirit. Keeping things in balance is key to satisfaction and success in life.

Mdlftr

Sadly, in my case, the "mind over body" attitude was all internal - I can't really blame the school for the attitude existing in the first place, just for failing to break me out of it. In fact, the other big criticism I had for my school was too much emphasis on sports and sporting achievements.

Originally Posted by iluvmassivemusl

This is some great advice, I think my drive is for sex and love, so I'll plug that in and see what happens

I'm pleased you've identified something, but I expect that there's probably a deeper drive than "sex and love", and that's just a presentation of that drive. Of course, learning these things about yourself is a journey, so I wouldn't expect you to completely understand your own drives in a day or two.