Mr. Big

[R Chris Cooper]

This story has been removed by the author.

[arpeejay]

Hmm. That wasn't what he wanted? Seemed like he enjoyed it! I would say I'm projecting except that if I'd ever been in such circumstances I'd've, well, no need to go there!

xoxo

Richard

[Mdlftr]

Well I was expecting that the narrator would grow huge! I thought that the "secrets of muscle growth" were going to be shared at some point? Maybe there's another installment somewhere in the future?

Otherwise, yes, "Mr. Big" is a douche pickle, to use the words of one of our Forum members in another string!

"Say it soft and it's almost like praying...say it loud and you can hear children playing.....Douche- pickllllleee!"



This free association moment has been brought to you out of the blue!
by

Mdlftr

[ttownlittlebear]

Well, not the ending that I'm used to. However, it still a good story.

[R Chris Cooper]

Originally Posted by ttownlittlebear

Well, not the ending that I'm used to. However, it still a good story.

I thought I would try the unexpected. Perhaps this does need an epilog or a part II. Let me know what you think.

Coop

[cutlerfan]

It could use more parts unless you really just wanted a possible real life scenario to happen. I would enjoy seeing the small guy grow huge and dominate Mr. Big.

[Mass Driver]

I think it was great for part One.
But you have to have our hero tell the guy that he's weak and a coward.
That if he can't give up control then that means he doesn't trust anybody.
They are just things to him, not real people.
And if he can't trust people then our hero shouldn't be there with him.

The problem with any kind of dominance is the need for your partner to be submissive.
And in my opinion, that means anyone could fit the bill. Nothing special.
How can you feel powerful when you never know if you are really pleasing your partner?
"Cum, because I said so. And do it now..."
That's conditiond response, not Love. Barely lust if you ask me.
The desire to control someone should be tempered with the ability to control yourself,
as well as the goal of pleasing your partner along with yourself.

Hard love was thrown around as a proper parenting skill when teenagers were acting up, when what they really needed was some discipline.
I hope our hero decides to give Mr Big a version of Hard Love.
Showing the big galoot that strength of will and character doesn't mean you can't give up the reins, you have to always be in control.
I hope our hero shows Mr Big just how strong he really is.
Without the give and take from both sides of a relationship; emotional, sexual or physical, then it just ends up an elaborate form of masturbation.

Please write part Two the way you want it written.
I know Mr Big will be surprised just how big and strong our hero becomes...

Hugs;
MS

[kettlecharlie]

Hi Chris
This is yet another string to your bow
We have got used to the Everthing in the Garden is Lovely stories, but there are other kinds
So good for you to attempt something different
And contrary to some opinions, this story stands as it is-- it does not need to have a Part Two
And to the critics-- have you had an affair which ended with disillusion?

[philat99]

I, too, look forward to an epilogue or part 2, please.

[locked_closet]

As much as I'd like to say "more! Part 2 this now!" the fact is that any additions to the story, no matter how hot (most if not all) of us find your writing, I am not sure that it is truly required at all. Not every story has a happy ending, nor should they. As always, your writing is superb. Although, the ending feels a little unnatural to what I've seen of your style (premature cut? Feels like there almost should at least be an inner dialogue from the main character in conjunction with or just before he leaves).
From a creative aspect, I think this short is best served as a one-off. It does have good potential for more, should you choose to persue that line, going for a "happy" ending. As a story with a not-so-happy ending (which depending on how you view it, is still an optimistic end, just not how the reader wants it to end), it is a beautiful piece.
Thank you for your hard work and MANY contributions to our community!

[R Chris Cooper]

Originally Posted by locked_closet

Although, the ending feels a little unnatural to what I've seen of your style (premature cut? Feels like there almost should at least be an inner dialogue from the main character in conjunction with or just before he leaves).

I wanted to chop it off abruptly because I equate the end of this relationship to the way I would feel if somebody robbed me at gun point, took all my money, and then handed me back my wallet with all my credit cards still in it. I wouldn't have anything to do with him even if he said he was sorry but he had to buy milk for his baby. You still robbed me!

I am still up in the air as to whether or not there will be a part two.

Coop

[Mdlftr]

Originally Posted by R Chris Cooper

I wanted to chop it off abruptly because I equate the end of this relationship to the way I would feel if somebody robbed me at gun point, took all my money, and then handed me back my wallet with all my credit cards still in it. I wouldn't have anything to do with him even if he said he was sorry but he had to buy milk for his baby. You still robbed me!

I am still up in the air as to whether or not there will be a part two.

Coop

HI Coop,
Always glad to read one of your stories! For feedback on this one, let me say that, as usual, the situations and the descriptions were vibrant, interesting and pretty self contained as to plot. Having said that, many of your recent efforts have been multipart installments, many of which have cliffhanger endings between parts. Kind of like hearing a set up to a joke and then not hearing a punch line: "Badda badda .......[bump?].....

This one seems like "Badda badda...."?

If the "bump!" is off stage (in the reader's imagination) so be it!


Mdlftr

[R Chris Cooper]

Originally Posted by Mdlftr

HI Coop,
Always glad to read one of your stories! For feedback on this one, let me say that, as usual, the situations and the descriptions were vibrant, interesting and pretty self contained as to plot. Having said that, many of your recent efforts have been multipart installments, many of which have cliffhanger endings between parts. Kind of like hearing a set up to a joke and then not hearing a punch line: "Badda badda .......[bump?].....

This one seems like "Badda badda...."?

If the "bump!" is off stage (in the reader's imagination) so be it!


Mdlftr

The reason I hesitate on publishing a part two, which I already started writing, is that it was headed for the "Cliff of revenge" and I didn't want to go there. I am sure there is an answer and maybe it will just flow out of my fingers as I type. All I can say for now about part 2 is we'll see.

Thanks for reading and thanks for the feedback.
Coop