The Gardener (Part 10)

[Reeza]

Author's Note: I will say this again and again: your comments, PMs and thanks mean the world to me.

For those of you who didn't review the comments on Part 9, Machiavellian helpfully pointed out an uncomfortable similarity between my car dealer character, Big Jim O'Neill and a character named Big Jim from Stephen King's Under The Dome. So I changed my character's name to Big Ed. That's the best I could do without rewriting the whole chapter. Thanks Machiavellian! You're nothing like your screen name.

Previously on The Gardener . . . It was the afternoon of Memorial Day. Following an awkward conversation about weight lifting and muscle growth, Sam trotted off to the living room to continue reading Tess, while Adam began to prepare dinner.


The Gardener
by Reeza

Parts 1 and 2 : Part 3 : Part 4 : Part 5 : Part 6 : Part 7 : Part 8 : Part 9

Part 10

I decided that it wasn't too soon to have a wee glass of Shiraz while I began to prepare dinner. I dispensed the wine from the box I opened the night before and went to my computer in the next room to look up some tips on grilling. I hadn't grilled anything for years, and I relied on the internet to teach me everything I needed to know about almost anything. I jotted down some notes and went outside to get the grill started.

Cooking, like gardening, is the kind of activity that helps clear the extra noise out of my head. It gives me something to do but doesn't require all of my attention. Everything that had occurred in the last few days made me think about why, when the most wonderful thing I could have imagined was happening in my life, I seemed to feel more afraid than happy. What am I so afraid of?

There were many answers to that question. I was afraid of losing control physically - erections, ejaculation, and who knows what else. I was afraid of being embarrassed in front of Sam by saying or doing something stupid. I was afraid of exposing my ordinary body to someone who seemed physically perfect. I was afraid of being rejected and feeling like I couldn't live without him. I was afraid that I would surrender control of my life and he would hurt me or even destroy me, financially, emotionally, or physically. So, basically, I was putting my life at risk by being with him. Is that all? What's the big deal?

Once I had clarified these fears for myself, it seemed easier to deal with them realistically. Sam and I had already acknowledged our frequent erections. I had already said and done embarrassing things in front of him. He had seen me shirtless and still said he was attracted to me. Of course he could reject me later, but there was no point in rejecting him first. And if I thought he was going to steal from me, I wouldn't have given him keys to my house. I trusted him. All of this was reassuring, but when I thought about how easily Sam could dominate me or hurt me physically, I had a different reaction - I was aroused.

It worried me to think that I might be turned on by being physically hurt, but the more I thought about it, the less that seemed to be true. I didn't want to be hurt, but I was turned on by guys who could hurt me if they wanted to. I was always attracted to men who were bigger and stronger than me. I guess the fear was part of what made it so exciting. The crucial difference with someone like Sam was in trusting that he wouldn't hurt me. I could be vulnerable to him, and yet feel safe with him. It was weird to think that what I had so carefully avoided in my life - feeling defenseless, exposed, out of control - was what turned my crank more than anything else.

Before I knew it, dinner was almost ready. I just needed to grill the steaks. I stepped quietly into the dining room to see where Sam was, and was surprised to see him stretched out on the floor in the middle of the living room rug, lying on his side with his head propped on one hand. His book was on the floor in front of him, illuminated by a patch of sunlight. I paused to look at him, observing the shape of his body in a position I hadn't seen before, admiring his impressive legs, evenly coated with fine dark hair. I could have stayed there for quite a while, but when he moved his hand to turn a page I decided to interrupt him. "Hey."

He looked up. "Hey. How long have you been there?"

"Just a few minutes." I decided to be bold. "I was looking at how beautiful you are."

He sat up, crossed his legs and smiled at me, but didn't respond.

"I hope that doesn't bother you."

"Not at all," he said. "I've done the same to you when you weren't looking."

My heart fluttered as I smiled back at him. Of course, part of me didn't believe him, but the part of me that did was happy. "You know you can use the furniture, right?"

"Yeah, I know. I tried it. It's nice to look at, but not very comfortable. For me, at least."

"Okay. So, how do you want your steak cooked?"

"I like it pretty rare, or medium rare. I learned to like it that way at the restaurant."

"Okay. Do you wanna set the table?"

He picked up the book, coffee mug and cookie tin, and stood up effortlessly, the way young people do. "Sure. In the dining room?"

"Yeah, I think so. It worked for us last night, didn't it?"

He smirked. "It certainly did." He followed me into the kitchen. "Uh, I'm sorry, I ate all your cookies. You shouldn't give me a full container of anything." He said this as though he didn't deserve it.

I took the empty tin from him. "That's not the way I'm thinking. I should have given you more."

"You're gonna spoil me, Adam."

"How? Are you gonna get fat?" I ran my eyes over his lean physique.

"Well, no. I guess not." He put his hand on his flat stomach and looked bashful.

"Let me get these steaks on the grill. We'll eat in about fifteen minutes." I took the platter of meat outside while he gathered dishes to set the table.

A short while later we were in the dining room cutting into beautifully charred porterhouse steaks with baked potatoes and the salad I made from spinach, strawberries, and a balsamic vinaigrette dressing. I had another glass of wine, but decided that would be my limit for the evening. The steak was delicious. I congratulated myself out loud. "That grill was a good purchase. Aren't you glad I was feeling impulsive?"

"I'll say! This is awesome. You should be impulsive more often."

"Pfft! No kidding! I hope I can keep that going."

Sam smiled. "It's not always good to be impulsive, though. Sometimes you need to be extra cautious."

"I don't know. I've been doing that for so long. I can't think of anything I feel like being cautious about right now."

Sam paused for a minute before saying, "I can."

I looked up at him. "Oh? What's that?"

He looked down at the table, then at me. "Well, I guess there's never an easy way to bring this up, but I think we should both get tested. For sexually transmitted diseases."

That was a surprise. I just looked at him while my mind went off in ten different directions.

He continued to eat while he talked. "I don't wanna make a big deal out of it, but . . . you know I've been with a few guys. Everything I did was safe, as far as I know, and I've been tested before and everything was fine. But I think it would be a good thing for us to do before we . . . y'know . . . move forward." His face was red and he looked nervous. It wasn't easy for him to bring this up.

I was having trouble organizing my thoughts with all the anxiety that was swirling around in my head. Considering all the things I worried about, why hadn't I thought of this? Of course the possibility of sexual activity had only been acknowledged the night before. "Okay, you're right. I would feel more comfortable knowing you're . . . healthy, but . . . I've never been with anybody, so why would I need to get tested?"

"I know, and I believe you, Adam. But like I said, there are some things we should be extra careful about, and this is one of them."

This didn't sit well with me. "But if you believe me, why do I need to get tested? You know I'm not the type of person who would have casual sex."

Now he looked annoyed. "The 'type of person?' You mean, like me? Do you think you're better than me because you're a virgin? I'm not sure you should brag about that."

Ouch! "No! I didn't mean it that way. You know I'm embarrassed that I'm a virgin, but that's all the more reason why I shouldn't need to . . ."

"Is it really too much to ask, Adam?" He was more than annoyed, but he paused and took a deep breath. "Think about it. Would you want to be with someone who would let you get away with not being tested?" He angrily chomped on a large chunk of meat and stared at his plate while he chewed.

I had to let that sink in. He was right on several levels. I couldn't trust someone who would be careless about safety. I looked at him, seething and chewing. This was one of those moments when I realized Sam was so much more than what he appeared to be. He was smart, he had principles, and he had the courage to stand up to me when I was being a dick. I conceded. "I'm sorry. You're right, I'll get tested."

"Thank you!" He was visibly relieved, and went back to eating with renewed gusto. I took a bite of steak, but I kept looking at him. He noticed. "What? Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Because I'm impressed. You were right, and you stood up to me. I like that."

"Well, good. Because I'm gonna keep doing it." He was still a little annoyed with me.

I waited a few beats and said, "Your integrity is giving me a boner." It was the truth.

It made him smile. "Shut up! Everything gives you a boner."

"Everything about you does."

He shook his head and kept eating. He enjoyed the compliment.

We were quiet for a few minutes, but I wanted to break the tension, so I asked him where he was at in Tess of the D'Urbervilles while I dug into my salad.

"Well, Tess was trying to decide whether to tell Angel about her past with Alec, that she's not a virgin. She's afraid he'll reject her. So she decided to write him a letter about it and slipped it under his door. I don't want you to tell me what happens, but I'm anxious to find out how he reacts to it."

"Yeah." I tried to think of something I could say that wouldn't reveal anything about the plot. "There's a lot of tension in that relationship, isn't there?" I thought about it for a minute, then said to myself, aloud, "Just like our relationship." This dawned on me at the same time I was saying the words.

Sam nodded while he finished chewing some steak, then swallowed. "That's what I was thinking. She worries about whether she's good enough for him, if he would still want her if he knew the truth about her. It's pretty realistic. I suppose everybody's afraid of being rejected for one reason or another."

I still found it hard to believe that someone like Sam would worry about being rejected, especially by someone like me. "While I was making dinner, I was thinking about what I'm afraid of, and what makes me nervous when I'm with you. I was thinking about the difference between fear and excitement, or maybe how they're so much alike."

"What do you mean? How are they alike?" He was finishing the last bite of his first steak.

"Well, for example, when I was a kid I loved roller coasters. The bigger and scarier they were, the more I liked them, because it felt dangerous, so it was exciting. And then when I was a little older I liked scary movies for the same reason. Some of the feelings I got from those things were not that different from what I felt last night when I was sitting here and you told me . . . what you told me."

"That I'm very attracted to you?" He cut into his second steak.

"Yeah, that. See, it just happened again when you said that! My heart is beating faster, and I'm breathing differently. Y'know what I mean? It makes me think I'm afraid, but . . . I wonder if I just forgot what it feels like to be excited, and that I could enjoy that feeling."

"Hmm." He nodded. "I like that. It makes sense. So when was the last time you were on a roller coaster?"

"Oh, not since I was a kid."

"Do you still like scary movies?"

I had to think about it. "I haven't watched one for a long time, since . . ." I flashed back to the accident that killed my parents. "I guess since I found out how scary real life could be. And being scared wasn't fun anymore." This cast a pall over the dinner table, so I went back to eating my steak to distract myself from the awkwardness.

Sam took over the conversation. "I felt that way after I left the farm. I was excited at first, starting a new life, thinking about all the fun I would have, the people I would meet. And then after a few nights of sleeping under bridges and not having anything to eat, and dealing with people who weren't all that friendly, it wasn't so exciting. I knew I could protect myself physically, but . . . being really alone in the world was scary in a whole new way. I didn't feel safe for a long time."

"Wow. I didn't know things were that bad for you." I don't know why I always assumed things were easy for him. "So, how did you learn to feel safe again?"

"Mmm. It wasn't something I learned. It just happened."

"When?"

There was a long pause, and he swallowed hard. "Yesterday. When you gave me the keys to the house."

This took my breath away. I didn't have words to express my feelings, so I reached over and put my hand on his arm, gently petting the back of his wrist with my thumb. I could tell he was as choked up as I was, so I didn't linger too long in the moment. I withdrew my hand, and we both went back to our food.

We took a break from emotionally loaded topics and continued to converse about things like returning to work the next day and how Sam was going to handle his departure from his job at the Harbor View. He decided he would give two weeks notice and see what the manager wanted to do with that. He was going to take the blame for all the food he had eaten at the restaurant and try to get the chef off the hook. "Now that I've thought about it, I have to admit I took advantage of Chef. I kind of knew he had a thing for me because of the way he would watch me eat, but I told myself he just liked to see people enjoying his food. It was a shitty thing for me to do, but I can't go back and change it. At least I can keep him from getting fired."

I watched him take another helping of salad and put butter on his third baked potato. I had a feeling I understood the chef's motivations. I decided to reveal a little more about myself. "Y'know, Sam, for what it's worth, I bet Chef really enjoyed feeding you. I mean . . . he enjoyed it more than you might imagine. Like I do."

He looked up from his plate and casually asked, "What do you mean?"

"Well . . . it's a little embarrassing because it sounds so weird, but . . . watching you eat is like an erotic experience for me. The more you eat, the more it turns me on." I suddenly regretted saying this. "I'm sorry, that sounded creepy. Am I making you uncomfortable?"

He shook his head and said, "Tell me more," before putting yet another piece of steak in his mouth. He looked surprised, but not bothered.

"I don't know what else to say. I remember feeling the same way when I was in college and I would watch some of the big jocks in the cafeteria load up their trays with piles of food, sit down and pack it all in, and then go back for more. And I don't mean the fat football players - that didn't do anything for me. It was the guys who were lean and muscular. I couldn't believe they could eat all that food. It just seemed so virile and sexy." I looked for Sam's reaction.

He was happily cleaning his plate. With a sparkle in his eye he said, "Do you wanna watch me eat the rest of your steak, or are you still working on that?"

I laughed. "Go ahead. I've had enough." I handed him my plate and he went to work on it while I waited for him to say something. "So, do you think it's weird? Does it bother you?"

His eyes grew wider. "No! The opposite of that! I mean, I wondered why you let me get away with eating so much. I felt guilty about it, like when my parents complained about my appetite. It never crossed my mind that anyone would think it's sexy. I don't get it, but . . . I'm happy to accommodate you. Damn! Talk about a win-win situation!" He was obviously thrilled. "This just keeps getting better and better."

"How so?"

"Are you kidding? It's like we were made for each other! All the things I've been embarrassed about are things that turn you on. My ridiculous appetite, my freaky strength . . . oh, sorry! I'm not supposed to use the f-word anymore . . . and my . . . I don't know what to call it . . . my size issue."

"Just talking about this gets my engine going, but I don't understand why you would be embarrassed by your strength or your size. I would love to be like you."

"Really? But look at what's happening to me at work. People get suspicious or jealous, and start asking too many questions. And when you're in high school and all you wanna do is fit in, anything that makes you different seems like a problem. I just kept it all hidden. Like being gay. Oh yeah, that's the fourth embarrassing thing about me that turns you on." He grinned.

I laughed again. "I do like that about you."

"And I was thinking about this last night after I left here . . ." He was really energized. "Some of the things you feel insecure about are things that turn me on. Like the fact that you're older than me. I've always been attracted to older guys, so you're perfect for me. And your body? I know you're self-conscious about it, but . . . you've got that runner-swimmer thing goin' on . . . that's right up my alley." He looked at me like he could see through my clothing. "I'd better leave it at that before I get too cranked up." He put the last piece of steak in his mouth.

I had a raging hard-on under the table. It did seem like we were made for each other, but I didn't believe in things like that. "Aren't you attracted to more muscular guys? They would be a better match for you."

"No. Why would they be a better match? You remember what I looked like when I first came here, right? I was built more like you, but taller. I didn't get bigger until later, when I started eating here and you encouraged me to build more muscle."

"I did?" Yeah, I did, didn't I.

"Yeah, remember? You said gay people have high standards and if I wanted to find Mr. Right I should . . . 'fill out my jeans' or something like that. So I took your advice because I figured that's what you liked, and you were the guy I wanted."

Oh, God, how embarrassing! "Sam, I never should have said that. You were already hotter than hell."

"But you like that I'm bigger, right?"

My throbbing erection was shouting, Yes! "Oh! Yes! Believe me, I love what you've done, but you didn't have to do that to make me like you." I attempted to relieve some of the pressure in my crotch by shifting in my chair, but the movement only made things worse.

"I know, I get it. My integrity gives you a boner and all that, but . . . this isn't just about what you like. I . . . y'know what . . . lemme just cut through the bullshit and tell you what turns me on the most, okay? Making your dick hard turns me on. So if me getting bigger does that for you, then it turns me on just as much. And it's not like I had to work hard for it like normal guys. I just pack it on by eating a fuck load of food, which also turns you on! Do you see how perfect this is?" He paused. "Are you okay, you look . . ."

I was struggling. "Uh . . . fuck! . . . I told you this was gonna happen! I just came in my fucking pants! God dammit!"

"Are you shitting me?"

"No!"

"Augh! I need to use your bathroom . . ." He jumped up and ran awkwardly toward the small bathroom on the other side of the kitchen. When I heard the door close I took the opportunity to escape up the stairs so I could clean myself up. A minute later I heard a loud groan of release from the first floor. At least Sam had been spared the indignity of staining his clothing.

After changing my clothes, I went back down to the dining room and started clearing the empty dishes from the table. Sam came back to the room a few minutes later looking sheepish. In other words, adorable. I wanted him to know I wasn't upset, so I said, "Well . . . that was special!" He looked up and smiled a little. I asked, "Is that what they call 'safe sex'?"

He laughed and came over to me with his arms wide open. "C'mere."

I willingly engaged in another version of Sam's signature gesture of affection. This hug was warm, not too tight, and fairly brief. I remember that he had his hand on the back of my neck and I was very aware of my face being pressed against his thick pectoral muscle. He smelled faintly of spunk. It was a good hug. I was going to start collecting those.

"Are you ready for dessert?" I asked as I gathered up the dishes.

He sighed theatrically. "I suppose, just to please you." He followed me into the kitchen with the remaining items. "Let's wash the dishes first, then we can relax and enjoy . . . ice cream?"

"Whatever you like and as much as you want."

"Are you gonna have some?"

With a knowing glance I said, "Yeah."

"Awesome!" He pumped his fist.

I washed the dishes this time and he dried. There was some small talk about our work schedules and when we would have our meals. I was curious to know more about Sam's appetite and how he had grown over the last six months. "Can I ask you about how your body works?"

"Uh . . . this could go so many different ways, but sure."

"When you eat, do you ever get full? Like, have you ever eaten too much?"

"That's a good question, actually. I've always wondered how other people feel after a big meal, but I didn't want to ask anyone. Um . . . I know I reach a point where I'm not hungry anymore, but if I keep going beyond that it starts to feel better."

"But what if you eat too much, do you start to feel bad?"

"Sometimes I feel embarrassed or ashamed because I ate so much more than anyone else."

"No, I mean physical discomfort. Like, a pain in your belly because there's too much food in there."

"Y'know, I hear people say stuff like that at the restaurant all the time, but I can't understand how it could be uncomfortable when it feels so good."

I handed him the last of the washed dishes. Could he really not know what I'm talking about? "Let me tell you what it feels like for me. Like tonight, I ate as much of that steak as I wanted, and if I had any more my stomach would start to feel bloated and painful. And the more I ate, the worse it would get."

"Really? That's what I've been told, but for me it keeps feeling better. Like, right now I feel really good, but after dessert it'll be even more . . . pleasurable, I guess. I don't know what else to call it." As he said this he put his hand under his t-shirt and felt his stomach in the way that I liked so much.

I watched him lustfully. "Y'know, I love it when you do that after meals."

"What? Rub my belly?"

"Yeah. That's very sexy."

One of his eyebrows went up. "Oh? I'll have to do it more often, then." He lifted his shirt and stroked his abs sensually.

I swear I started salivating like Pavlov's dogs, but I pulled myself out of it quickly and looked away. "Let's save that for another day, shall we?" I rinsed out the sink and dried my hands on the dish towel.

He decided to tease me. "Too much? Am I getting too sexy for you?"

I smiled. "No comment! What kind of ice cream do you want?"

That distracted him. "Lemme look." He went to the freezer and opened the door. "There's so many! I can't believe you bought all of this. Chocolate sounds good. What do you want?"

"Can't I just have some of yours?"

"Well, yeah, but I'm gonna want more than one. These pints are small. The problem is choosing. They're all so good."

"Why don't you eat them all, then?" I was kidding.

"I could, but this stuff is so expensive. How about butter pecan?"

"You really could, couldn't you? You could eat all of that ice cream tonight." I was astounded.

"Yeah, but I wouldn't. You're spending too much on food as it is." He closed the freezer after taking out two cartons.

"I appreciate that, but . . . Sam, is there really no limit on how much you can eat?"

He sighed. "Y'know, you're making me feel weird about this again."

"I'm sorry. You know I don't think it's weird, though. It makes you even more studly to me."

"Studly?" He grinned. "I like that word. Should we go back in the dining room to eat this? I'll get a couple of spoons."

"Oh, do I need my own spoon tonight?" I cocked an eyebrow at him.

He stepped backwards into the dining room with a mischievous expression. "I can feed it to you again if you liked it that way."

"It caught me off guard, but I did like it. It was kind of seductive."

"Really?" he said a little too innocently. "That never occurred to me."

We sat at the corner of the table again, as we had the night before, close enough to share the two flavors of Haagen Dazs. "Do you mind if I ask a few more questions about you? You can cut me off whenever you want to."

"Okay, what else do you wanna know?" He offered me a spoonful of chocolate ice cream and I took it.

"Have you ever tested the limits of your appetite?"

"Well, that's kind of what I've been doing since I came here. I've never had access to this much food, between what I eat here and what I ate at the restaurant. I know there's only so much space in my stomach, but I never feel that pain you described, so I don't know what's going on in there. I know it feels really good, and it's connected to the way I got bigger."

"You mean . . . the muscle you gained?" I fed him a spoonful of butter pecan.

"Yeah, apparently. And I got taller. Don't ask me how that works because I don't have a clue. I thought working out made a difference at first, but not really. I'm still trying to figure it out."

"And it doesn't matter what you eat - protein, carbs, fat, whatever?"

"Adam, you wouldn't believe the crap I eat. Candy, chips, doughnuts. I eat a dozen doughnuts every morning for breakfast, sometimes more. I should be a four-hundred pound blob of fat by now."

"Jeezus! That's so unfair, but so fuckin' hot at the same time."

He snorted. "I'm glad you like it, but I'm not really comfortable with it yet. I understand a lot of people would love to have this problem, but when you're the only one, and you can't talk to anyone about it, and your body doesn't come with an owner's manual . . . do you understand why that makes me uneasy?"

"Yes, I get it. You'll have to pay attention to the way you feel and let that guide you. At least you can talk to me about it now."

"That does help." He gave me another spoonful of his ice cream.

"Y'know, I just thought of something. You grow the way a plant does when it's given the right nutrition. Most plants will survive in ordinary soil with ordinary conditions, but if you want them to get really big you give them ideal conditions and plenty of fertilizer."

"Yeah, remember, I grew up on a farm. It's the same for pigs and cows, though. The more you feed them, the bigger they get."

"But it's okay to put a lot of fat on them because it makes their meat taste better. Plants don't get fat. And they don't need exercise."

He thought about that while he scraped the bottom of his ice cream carton. "Hmm. I don't have a comeback for that."

I passed him the half-empty carton of butter pecan. "Have some more fertilizer."

"Aha!" A light went on in his head and he pointed at me. "Plants can be over fertilized!" He looked satisfied with himself as he continued eating.

He was right, but I wasn't going to lose this contest. I smirked and ran my eyes over him lasciviously. "You look pretty healthy to me, but if you wilt and start to turn yellow, I'll rinse your roots and coax you back to health."

From his expression I could tell he liked the sound of that. "Maybe that's why I wanted to be with a gardener."

"That's right. And large specimens are my favorite kind of plant." As much as I was enjoying the flirting, I felt like I might be getting in over my head. I was still a novice in this area.

Sam made a sensual show of licking the last of the ice cream off his spoon before he said, "I have a woody stem you might wanna look at."

I smiled but quickly stood up from my chair. "Okay! Do you want another pint of ice cream?"

He rolled his eyes at me. "It's just flirting, Adam. You don't need to get nervous."

"Nervous? I'm not nervous! I'm fine." I was nervous. "Do you wanna sit in the living room for a while? Oh, that's right, you don't like the furniture." I walked into the adjacent room, turned on the lamps, and sat on the Victorian sofa to see how it felt. I hardly ever sat in that room.

Sam got up from the table and came into the living room. "I didn't say I don't like it. It's just not comfortable to sit on for very long." He towered over me for a moment before sitting next to me on the sofa. "Do you think it's comfortable?"

I was more comfortable before he sat there. "It's kind of stiff. I mean the Victorians were stiff. They didn't exactly lounge around in the parlor. It was a formal room for polite visits."

"Is that what you use it for?" He had a playful smile on his lips.

"No, I don't have . . . oh, shut up!" I realized he was teasing me. "One of these days I'm gonna have a visitor just to prove you wrong about me."

"I'll look forward to that." He sat back and rested his hands in his lap.

"I suppose I could move this furniture into that window bay and get a more comfortable sofa and chairs in here."

"That sounds nice." He looked around the room. "I'm surprised you don't have any house plants. It would add a little more . . . life."

"Hmm. That's a good idea. I should get some ferns."

"It's so beautiful. Your parents must have put a lot of work into this."

"Yeah, they loved it. My Mom hung all the wallpaper and the drapes. Dad fixed whatever needed fixing. They were a good team."

"Do you miss them?"

"Yes. Of course."

"Were you close?"

"Umm. I don't know. We got along, and they were good to me. But . . . I'm not sure they really knew me. I didn't make it easy . . ."

After a long pause he asked, "What were they like together? Did they love each other?"

"Yeah, I know they did. But they weren't like other people who show it all the time. You had to really look for the signs. They could sit in this room for hours and read their books without talking, but every now and then I would catch them looking at each other, and I knew they were communicating something meaningful. It was nice."

The room was quiet and the sun had gone down. Somewhere outside a bird was repeating a plaintive call. Without moving from his position on the couch, Sam quietly said, "I wanna kiss you, Adam. Would you let me do that?"

"Oh . . . I don't think I would be good at that." I was staring at part of the design on the oriental rug.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I know there are good kissers and bad kissers, and I don't know how to do it, so I think I should do some research before I try it."

"Research?"

"Yeah, the internet has instructions for everything. I'm sure there's something on eHow. Maybe I should look it up now." I started to get up from the sofa but Sam reached out and caught my hand to keep me from leaving.

"Don't go, Adam. Stay here. I won't make you do anything you don't want to do."

I sat down on the edge of the seat but I didn't look at him. "It's not that I don't want to, it's just that I don't wanna be bad at it. I don't wanna disappoint you."

"You won't disappoint me. I might be bad at it, too."

"I doubt it. You're good at everything."

"I've only kissed a few people in my life, so I'm no expert. We could learn about it together."

"On the internet?"

"No . . . right here. Sit back and try to relax." He was still holding on to my hand.

"Okay, but we have to go to work tomorrow." I eased back onto the sofa and decided it was not a comfortable piece of furniture. I started shopping in my head.

"I'm not staying all night, I just wanna kiss you." He brought my hand to his lips. I felt them touch my skin and make the tiniest little sound. I looked at my hand and then at Sam's eyes. He was checking to see if I was okay. He said, "Would you like to kiss my hand?"

I thought about it. "Okay." I turned my body a little more towards him and raised his hand toward my face. I took time to look at it first. It was a big, masculine, youthful hand, with prominent veins under the skin. It was strong enough to make Big Ed O'Neill apologize. I pressed my lips against it, held them there, and pulled away, noticing that the slightest adhesion of skin to skin made that tiny sound. I looked up at Sam expectantly. His expression assured me than my performance was adequate.

He drew my arm forward and turned it over, exposing the pale skin on the inside of my forearm. With the tip of one finger he traced the vein that ran from my wrist to the crook of my elbow. My blood seemed to rise at his touch. He chose a place at the center of the widest part of my forearm and bent down to kiss it. The tip of his nose touched my skin first, drawing a little circle to show where his lips would go. His mouth was slightly open when he kissed my arm and his tongue left a spot of moisture. Then he raised his head a bit, pursed his lips and gently blew on the glistening spot until it disappeared. He sat up, shifted his body a little closer to mine and graciously offered me his arm.

Sam had good forearms. I'd spent a lot of time looking at them, so it was nice to be able to touch one. I stroked it like a cat, admiring the pattern of hair along the top compared to the smooth underside. I felt the hardness of it and fingered the surprisingly thick veins that stood out from the surface. Sam quietly watched me, obviously pleased by my interest in the details. I stroked his arm a few more times before lowering my head and lightly grazing my lips back and forth over his skin, feeling the hair against the tip of my nose. I pressed down and applied a small amount of suction with my mouth, once, then again. I liked it. I sat up, noticing the way my heart was beating, and let one side of my mouth turn up into a half-smile.

"That was nice, Adam. Are you sure you haven't been practicing on someone else?" He narrowed his eyes teasingly.

I hesitated before confessing, "I've been picturing that in my mind for months now. It was better than I imagined."

"I'm flattered." His eyes traveled over me. "Are you okay so far? Do you wanna continue?"

"Yeah, I'm okay," I said without convincing myself.

"Can we get a little closer so I don't have to lean over so far?"

"Sure." We both rearranged ourselves so I had support for my back and he didn't need to contort himself to have access to me.

"It would be more comfortable if I could put my arm around you. Otherwise it gets in the way."

"Okay." He was right - it was a big arm. I felt the warm weight of it across my shoulders.

"How's that? Are you comfortable?"

"Yes." It was almost a whisper.

"I'm a little nervous, Adam. I've been thinking about this for a long time."

I looked closely at his eyes and almost melted. They were green jewels framed by dark lashes and luxuriant brows. His young skin was so smooth and clear it was almost surprising to see the dark stubble of hair on his upper lip and jaw. I studied all the elements that had come together to form such a satisfying whole. He was so handsome! I noticed the bow shape of his upper lip and the full roundness of the moist pink flesh below it. I was glad he kept me from doing research on the internet. I knew what I wanted to do with those lips.

"I'm gonna kiss your neck first, okay?"

"Okay." He could kiss anything he wanted to at this point. I was his.

He nuzzled the side of my neck and softly kissed it in a few different places while I looked at the powerful shape of his shoulder under his shirt. He turned his head and nudged my chin up so he could nibble at my Adam's apple. It made me smile for some reason. Although my heart was beating faster than usual my body felt very relaxed. He rubbed his nose in the scruff under my unshaven chin, then went back to the side of my neck and gave it a firmer, longer kiss that gently pulled my skin between his lips as he drew back. He paused. "Do you like it?"

"Oh yeah. I knew you would be good at this."

"I'm just doing whatever appeals to me. Don't overthink it."

I raised my eyebrows slightly and pretended to be offended. "I don't overthink things. What are you talking about?"

He smiled. "I forgot - you're so laid back." He tilted his head to offer me his neck.

I moved in quickly to give the impression of being impulsive, but stopped short of his throat. The tip of my nose just barely touched his skin while I tried to detect a scent. He smelled clean, but there was something subtle underneath that, something I didn't recognize. I licked the side of his neck three times in a row, expecting to taste something salty, but it was just clean and wholesome. I blew on the damp area and noticed he had his eyes closed and was grinning. I took his earlobe between my lips and tugged on it like a puppy with an old sock until he chuckled. I let go.

"That was unexpected . . . nice." He turned toward me and looked in my eyes. "This is going pretty well, isn't it?"

I smiled and nodded, then leaned forward and playfully bumped the tip of my nose against his.

He shifted his position, turning his body a few degrees toward me, hugging my shoulders a little more tightly. We touched noses again, then foreheads, pressing against each other, enjoying the contact. He spoke quietly. "Remember, it doesn't have to be perfect." I think he was reminding himself. "We can practice as much as we want."

"Every day?" I asked.

He smiled. "Yes."

"For how many hours?"

"Every free moment."

"I'm gonna need lots of practice . . ."

He kissed me on the mouth, softly grasping my lip between his lips and pulling away, repeating it slowly. I did the same to him until it was clear to me that we were kissing each other. It became a dance that no one was leading. I lost count of the kisses. We developed a rhythm that ebbed and flowed like a lovely piece of music, pausing here and there and then launching into the main theme again. I kissed his sandpaper cheek and enjoyed the way it scratched against my lips and nose. We lapped at each other with the tips of our tongues and tasted each other's mouths. We made juicy noises that sent tingling sensations all over my body. I saw colors in his eyes that I didn't know existed. It was gloriously and inexplicably perfect.

When we were both out of breath and had to rest for a few minutes, I watched his chest rise and fall while he stared at my mouth. I asked him, "How are you doing over there?"

He pulled his eyes away from my lips and searched the rest of my face. He looked disoriented, so I put my hand against his cheek and lightly stroked his neck with my fingertips. "I didn't think it could be that good, Adam. I thought kissing was just kissing, but that . . . I've never felt anything like that before. Did you feel it?"

"Yes."

"What was it?"

I searched for something but had no words. "I don't know, but I want more of it."

We danced to the same music, but with more confidence this time. Our kisses were longer and deeper. I grabbed the hair on the back of his head while he cradled my head in his hand. If the sofa had been more comfortable, things might have got out of hand, but when he tried to twist his hips toward me an ominous cracking noise stopped us cold.

We both froze and he said, "Oops." He carefully sat up and then stood. I slid forward and got up, turning toward the sofa to examine it. There was no visible damage. I tested the seat with my hands, then knelt on it and grasped the back of the sofa, pulling it forward. There was movement in the frame that wasn't there before. I said, "It's probably a joint that came unglued or something like that. Nothing major."

Sam was mortified. "I'm sorry, I'm such a clod. I shouldn't be allowed on the good furniture."

"Don't worry about it. It's not a big deal. Besides, it was both of us."

"I know, but sometimes I forget how strong I am and I break things. I'm really sorry."

"Well, now you're turning me on again. C'mere." I reached up and put my hand on his neck and stood on my toes to kiss him. He accepted it tentatively, paused, put his hand on my shoulder and leaned in for another one. I let go of his neck and put my arms around him, pressing myself against his body. He wrapped his arms around me, and when I tipped my head all the way back I was in a perfect position for him to lower his head and kiss me. We practiced in that position for a minute or two until my neck started to hurt.

"I should go," he said. "I have to get up early tomorrow." He put his hands back on my shoulders and my arm slid down his back until my hand accidentally landed on his firm ass. "Hello there!" he exclaimed. I removed my hand as soon as I realized what I was touching, then regretted that I didn't just leave it there. "Well, if you're gonna cop a feel, I should get one, too, right?"

I smiled. "It was an accident. A happy accident."

He laughed. "Tell it to the judge, mister!" Then he gave my ass a brief squeeze. "Fair is fair."

"What time do you have to leave in the morning?" I asked.

"I wanna get to work by seven so I can talk to the manager first thing and see what he wants to do with me."

"You'll be gone before I wake up. I don't start until eight-thirty." I walked back to the dining room to pick up the ice cream cartons and spoons. Sam put the chairs back in place and followed me into the kitchen. I threw away the cartons and set the spoons in the sink, then leaned against the counter. "So, do you think you'll be here for dinner tomorrow?"

"Yeah. I'm not scheduled to work in the restaurant, so I'll be done by four. I'll be here." He stood in front of me with his legs spread wide, effectively reducing his height. He put his hands on the counter on either side of me, leaned in and pressed his nose and forehead against mine. "This is to thank you for dinner. Those steaks were amazing." His kiss was slow and wet. It made my knees wobbly before it ended. He pulled back and looked in my eyes. "Thank you."

He was about to push away from the counter when I grabbed the front of his t-shirt and pulled him back in. "I didn't thank you for breakfast." I kissed his fleshy lower lip in three places, then his stubbly chin and the smooth skin of his throat. "I like the variety of textures," I explained, as I scanned his face for more options.

Sam locked his eyes onto mine and let out a low sound that was half moan and half growl. "I need to get out of here before I commit a crime."

I teased him. "Don't let me keep you. I wouldn't wanna be responsible for your downfall."

He was still standing over me, smiling. "I'm already ruined. I have nothing left to lose."

I surprised myself by continuing to play my role. I smiled and whispered, "Officer! Officer! Help me!"

He grinned and growled again, but withdrew his hands from the counter and stepped away from me.

"Dammit!" I muttered.

He walked towards the door and I followed him. He opened the door and put one foot on the porch before turning back to look at me for a long moment. "It was perfect, Adam. It was perfect!"

"Yes it was. It was perfect. G'night, Sam."

"G'night. I'll see ya tomorrow." He went down the stairs and I closed the door behind him, but stood and watched him through the glass. Halfway across the driveway he crouched down, pumped his fist and exclaimed, "Yes!" just loud enough for me to hear. Then he bounded up the stairs to his apartment.

I turned around to lean against the door for a minute. I listened to my heartbeat. I listened to my thoughts. Then I took a breath . . . and felt happy.

*****

Continued in: Part 11

[TKnTexas55]

I was pleasantly surprised to see a chapter. Thank you for the cardio. I am breathing heavy and my heart is racing. The chapters get better as they open up to each other. You have captured them so well. Thanks

[flamedelft]

This is the best thing to wake up to.
Beautiful work as always

[manlion]

This has been a great story thus far. I've been in a new relationship over the last few months with a guy I really love, and with both of us being fairly inexperienced, this all rings so true. Looking forward to more of the new romance, and anxiously waiting for some of the hinted growth.

[rododoro3]

I'd just like to quickly chime in before this evolves into pages of discussion (as has happened in pretty much every other part):

I've been reading since Part 1 (on the first day you've posted) and I'd like to thank you for that brief acknowledgement at the top.
The little gestures of appreciation you display, thanking everyone who replies, responding to questions, really upgraded this story for me.

Back at the beginning, it was already Grade A material: Romance + Muscle + (dare I say?) Tsundere. I always enjoy stories with captivating relationships, and the slow progression and build up of The Gardener was, and is, fantastic.

But it's one thing to read something great from an otherwise anonymous username on the Internet, and quite a different thing to read a work penned by someone who takes the time and effort to show their devotion to the lovers of their work.

In short... Knowing that I'm reading a story (that revs my engine) by an author that genuinely cares about his readers kicks me into overdrive.
And I love it. Vroom vroom!

[hardmuscl4life]

I've been wondering about something as the series has continued... Is this story drawn from your life? Is this how it is for you:

"He kissed me on the mouth, softly grasping my lip between his lips and pulling away, repeating it slowly. I did the same to him until it was clear to me that we were kissing each other. It became a dance that no one was leading."

You made me cry again and you made me late for work.

Thank you,
George

[martinp13]

The discussion of Adam's parents made me re-examine my relationship history with my parents. I had so much to hide I didn't make it easy for my parents to get close, like Adam. I had never really thought about it that way.

[vlad]

The parts about how Sam feels when he eats and how much he has been growing are big turn-ons. I would love to Sam to test the limits of how much he can eat in one sitting and swell bigger for Adam. I've always loved the idea of an endless appetite that leads to massive growth, and the way you are describing it is hotter than anything I've read before.

[chocomus]

this was so sensual and sweet!!!!!

and musclegrowth talk hornes everyone so I don't think Adam has anything to worry about

[weaknobody]

This is a work of art!

I don't know what else I can say to compliment you - so consider yourself up in a pedestal already, okay? You deserve it...

"I didn't want to be hurt, but I was turned on by guys who could hurt me if they wanted to. I was always attracted to men who were bigger and stronger than me. I guess the fear was part of what made it so exciting. The crucial difference with someone like Sam was in trusting that he wouldn't hurt me."

THAT. Thank you for explaining the feeling. I'll use that with my husband, if you don't mind.

Seriously, Reeza, thank you so much for devoting your time and obvious effort on delivering this wonderful story. I don't want to suggest anything... I feel we are in good hands and whatever comes next will be just as delightful.

[Jocaflo]

In a way, you're walking on thin ice, Reeza. The story is so good so far that whatever the end is you must not let it fall below this standard. Not an easy task. Anyway, you're an accomplished author, for it takes a lot of talent to make a highly implausible context - two adult males, loving each other and lusting after each other, and nevertheless postponing sex - into a text that sounds consistent and so real.

[beachdude]

Wow! This story is so incredible and it so describes what I wish my life could become. That line
"I didn't want to be hurt, but I was turned on by guys who could hurt me if they wanted to. I was always attracted to men who were bigger and stronger than me. I guess the fear was part of what made it so exciting. The crucial difference with someone like Sam was in trusting that he wouldn't hurt me."
is so me. I wish I could find a Sam. Thanks for this incredible story and your amazing writing talents!!

[HugestFuckGod]

This site should have a award for the best written story of the year. This story deserve some major recognition as the a am amazing story that it is.

Untill today I have never gotten off on the emotion in a story

[rairf]

So good! This was so warmly sensual. You managed to capture that heady glow of blissful new romance perfectly.

[Reeza]

Originally Posted by hardmuscl4life

I've been wondering about something as the series has continued... Is this story drawn from your life? Is this how it is for you:

"He kissed me on the mouth, softly grasping my lip between his lips and pulling away, repeating it slowly. I did the same to him until it was clear to me that we were kissing each other. It became a dance that no one was leading."

You're not the first reader to ask if this story is based on personal experience, so I might as well answer this here.

No, I am not and have never been in a relationship like the one depicted in the story. The only parts drawn from my personal experience are Adam's neurotic problems and the gardening.

If Sam shows up at my door one of these days, I think I'll be ready for him. And yes, I will send photos.

[Anifanatic10]

Originally Posted by hardmuscl4life

You made me cry again and you made me late for work.

Same here. I had to stop reading when they started kissing and I was still 10mins late... Oh well, worth it. My only regret was I wasn't more late.

[nnnrg]

By the way, since I've been lax about responding to posts lately - Reeza, this is inspirational writing. Thank you for pointing out that love and romance can exist, and for making the cheezy romance novels I sometimes read to wind my brain down for bed, look like pasteurized processed cheese food novels.

[Jocaflo]

Originally Posted by Reeza

You're not the first reader to ask if this story is based on personal experience, so I might as well answer this here.

No, I am not and have never been in a relationship like the one depicted in the story. The only parts drawn from my personal experience are Adam's neurotic problems and the gardening.

If Sam shows up at my door one of these days, I think I'll be ready for him. And yes, I will send photos.

Are you able to draw? Ideally, you should draw the picture of his body and face from your imagination, since that is where he has existed - so far. Or maybe you could hire an artist...?

[Mdlftr]

"Have you ever tested the limits of your appetite?"

"Well, that's kind of what I've been doing since I came here. I've never had access to this much food, between what I eat here and what I ate at the restaurant. I know there's only so much space in my stomach, but I never feel that pain you described, so I don't know what's going on in there. I know it feels really good, and it's connected to the way I got bigger."

"You mean . . . the muscle you gained?" I fed him a spoonful of butter pecan.

"Yeah, apparently. And I got taller. Don't ask me how that works because I don't have a clue. I thought working out made a difference at first, but not really. I'm still trying to figure it out."

"And it doesn't matter what you eat - protein, carbs, fat, whatever?"

"Adam, you wouldn't believe the crap I eat. Candy, chips, doughnuts. I eat a dozen doughnuts every morning for breakfast, sometimes more. I should be a four-hundred pound blob of fat by now."

"Jeezus! That's so unfair, but so fuckin' hot at the same time."

He snorted. "I'm glad you like it, but I'm not really comfortable with it yet. I understand a lot of people would love to have this problem, but when you're the only one, and you can't talk to anyone about it, and your body doesn't come with an owner's manual . . . do you understand why that makes me uneasy?"

"Yes, I get it. You'll have to pay attention to the way you feel and let that guide you. At least you can talk to me about it now."

"That does help." He gave me another spoonful of his ice cream.

"Y'know, I just thought of something. You grow the way a plant does when it's given the right nutrition. Most plants will survive in ordinary soil with ordinary conditions, but if you want them to get really big you give them ideal conditions and plenty of fertilizer."

"Yeah, remember, I grew up on a farm. It's the same for pigs and cows, though. The more you feed them, the bigger they get."

"But it's okay to put a lot of fat on them because it makes their meat taste better. Plants don't get fat. And they don't need exercise."

He thought about that while he scraped the bottom of his ice cream carton. "Hmm. I don't have a comeback for that."

I passed him the half-empty carton of butter pecan. "Have some more fertilizer."

"Aha!" A light went on in his head and he pointed at me. "Plants can be over fertilized!" He looked satisfied with himself as he continued eating.

He was right, but I wasn't going to lose this contest. I smirked and ran my eyes over him lasciviously. "You look pretty healthy to me, but if you wilt and start to turn yellow, I'll rinse your roots and coax you back to health."

From his expression I could tell he liked the sound of that. "Maybe that's why I wanted to be with a gardener."

"That's right. And large specimens are my favorite kind of plant." As much as I was enjoying the flirting, I felt like I might be getting in over my head. I was still a novice in this area.

Sam made a sensual show of licking the last of the ice cream off his spoon before he said, "I have a woody stem you might wanna look at."

=======================

Reeza,
You are hitting all the right buttons: ...and now for the mysterious, unexplained muscle growth!

Yes!

Great story!

Thanks for writing!

Mdlftr

[mario2007]

Reeza,

You do it over and over and over. How? I don't know. Your writing is out of this world. This is the best story I have EVER read on this board. I will be sad the day you write the last chapter (you know, chapter 75 ).

[Dentistclark]

Oh mate, this is such a well written, sensuous story. I love the tenderness between Adam and Sam (who sounds so hot BTW). Keep it coming, I can't wait for the next chapter xx

[Reeza]

Originally Posted by Jocaflo

Are you able to draw? Ideally, you should draw the picture of his body and face from your imagination, since that is where he has existed - so far. Or maybe you could hire an artist...?

For those who might care, this is what I was looking at when I first started writing about Sam.

Henry Cavill

Of course Sam is quite a bit younger than Henry Cavill is now.

[Gman]

It's great reading a story that's not just about lust and muscle, but about a developing relationship (that also has a good amount of lust and muscle too). The characters are so real, and the nerves, suspense and tease are such a turn on!

[TJDasen1]

"I licked the side of his neck three times in a row, expecting to taste something salty, but it was just clean and wholesome."

Did anyone else catch themselves with their tongue jutting out of their mouth, a slight curl at the end? No? Just me then?

Everyone seems to have covered how well this tale has captured our imagination, so I'll just add my thanks for allowing us to journey with you.

Tim

[makurra]

This storie is just a MASTERPIECE!!! Thanks Rezaa

[chicken legs]

love this story

[xmrr20a]

As so many others have already said, and with whom I concur, this story is a masterpiece on so many levels; the writing, the way the dialogue pulls the reader into the situation, the nuance about hidden strength, etc. The experience of reading this has created such a sense of anticipation in me; I come every day looking for the next chapter. When it's not here, I console myself with the fact that developing a work of this quality takes time.

[henhu]

Patiently waiting for the next installment of your wonderful story. Not to rush you but just to let you know how much I'm eager for your words.

[Reeza]

Originally Posted by henhu

Patiently waiting for the next installment of your wonderful story. Not to rush you but just to let you know how much I'm eager for your words.

Thanks for the compliment and for your thoughts. I know you're not rushing me, and I like to know that people are waiting for the next installment.

I actually pulled an all-nighter last night (this morning) working on the story. I planned to go to bed before midnight, and the next thing I knew it was 8:00 am. Not a healthy choice for me, but that's the way I write, no matter how much I try to change my habits. Fortunately I didn't have to be at work until 2:30, but I was pretty tired today and I'm going to bed earlier tonight.

You wanna guess how much I wrote in all that time? About five pages or 3000 words - maybe half of an average chapter. As much as I love to write, it doesn't just flow out of me. I write and rewrite and change a few words, then go back and read an earlier part and change a few words there, and on and on and on. Just posting a chapter on this forum takes me about three hours because of all the meticulous editing and formatting I do. I drive myself crazy, but I wouldn't do it any other way. Now, when you read about Adam, you'll know where his crazy parts come from.

Anyway, I plan to post the next part later this week. Thanks again to all of my wonderfully appreciative readers. I'm going to bed now.

[TKnTexas55]

goodie goodie goodie goodie

A new chapter .. goodie goodie goodie *clapping* *clapping*

[Anifanatic10]

Originally Posted by Reeza

Thanks for the compliment and for your thoughts. I know you're not rushing me, and I like to know that people are waiting for the next installment.

I actually pulled an all-nighter last night (this morning) working on the story. I planned to go to bed before midnight, and the next thing I knew it was 8:00 am. Not a healthy choice for me, but that's the way I write, no matter how much I try to change my habits. Fortunately I didn't have to be at work until 2:30, but I was pretty tired today and I'm going to bed earlier tonight.

You wanna guess how much I wrote in all that time? About five pages or 3000 words - maybe half of an average chapter. As much as I love to write, it doesn't just flow out of me. I write and rewrite and change a few words, then go back and read an earlier part and change a few words there, and on and on and on. Just posting a chapter on this forum takes me about three hours because of all the meticulous editing and formatting I do. I drive myself crazy, but I wouldn't do it any other way. Now, when you read about Adam, you'll know where his crazy parts come from.

Anyway, I plan to post the next part later this week. Thanks again to all of my wonderfully appreciative readers. I'm going to bed now.

It's good to know you put all this time and effort into putting out a good product and it really shows.