Memoirs of a Gay Jock 4

[luvyalots]

Previously, Will has sex for the first time with his new boyfriend Johnny.

Friday, December 26, 2003:

Not a whole lot to talk about, frankly. Finals kicked my ass, but I think I at least passed all of them. And between studying and track practices, Johnny and I haven?t had a lot of time for each other. We did have sex twice more since that first time?and each one was better than the last. He?s getting used to it ? he doesn?t seem to be in as much pain. Now he wants to try other positions ? with me on top of course ? when we get back from break.

I was home for barely a week before we went to Grandma?s for Christmas. So I got a chance to hang out with some of the guys from high school. We went to the mall and saw Return of the King ? it was way too long and never seemed to end, btw. Afterwards, we just walked around the mall, making fun of the Christmas shoppers. Most of the guys are going to County ? they didn?t get any scholarships like me ? and so they?ve been hanging out together a lot. I felt like I was an outsider. I mean, they didn?t actually shut me out or anything ? I just got that feeling, you know, that I wasn?t really part of the group anymore. Plus, I feel like I?ve changed since meeting Johnny, like I?ve gotten more mature ? the other guys were always making sex jokes and not-so-subtly checking out girls and shit like that. I wasn?t as amused as they obviously were.

Duane, on the other hand, isn?t like that. Well, he really wasn?t in the first place, but he seems to have gotten more mature too since going off to college. Maybe it has something to do with living on your own. Mom invited the Matthews? over for dinner one night, though only Duane and his mom came over ? Danny was at some wrestling tournament or something. Duane said he?s wrestling 130. Yeah, that?s right ? the kid who six months ago weighed 230 is now wrestling 130! I can?t picture him being that skinny, but apparently, he dropped the weight in order to wrestle Varsity since there was a spot open at that weight class. Duane said he was cutting like crazy all week to prepare ? he almost didn?t recognize his own brother when he came home from school.

Mom remarked how much I?ve been eating lately. She had to go out shopping in the middle of the week because I had practically cleaned out the fridge within the first few days back at home. I guess I do eat more than I used to. I tried explaining to her that track season was around the corner and that I had been training like crazy ? I even did some crunches and stuff at night like Coach suggested. I had to pull my shirt up to show Mom my six-pack when she kept insisting that I was gaining weight. I still don?t think she understands. I weigh 156 now ? up 5 pounds in the last month ? which means that I?m gaining muscle since I still have really low bodyfat. In fact, my body almost looks like a carbon copy of Johnny?s ? except that he has a little more muscle than I do. I think he?s a little over 160.

On Christmas Eve, we drove to Grandma?s and we?ll be staying here until New Year?s Day when I have to go back to school. Classes don?t start until January 18, but track season begins a lot sooner ? practices resume on January 2. To most people, that would suck, but to me that means I get to see Johnny sooner than I otherwise would. It actually hurts to spend so much time without seeing him every day. I mean, it always did before, but now it?s even worse. I know I?m going to spend the rest of my life with him?once we come out of the closet of course. We haven?t talked much about that lately. I think we should do it at the end of the school year ? after track season is over and there?s a whole summer for people to get used to it. The funny thing is that I?m not as worried about coming out anymore ? I have Johnny coming out with me.


Monday, January 19, 2004:

Damn, I?m exhausted?and sore as hell. We came back from a track meet last night and I was so tired, I think I literally fell asleep as soon as I hit my bed. It was the first meet in which I ran both the 800 and the 400 hurdles ? Coach wanted to make sure my hurdling technique was sound before I made an official time. I actually made it out of my first heat, but stumbled on the last hurdle in the semifinals and finished last.

My 800 went a lot better, though. Johnny was in the same heat as me, so I did what I normally did in practice ? I rode him (pardon the expression) and kept pace with him and that helped me qualify for the final. In the final, I didn?t place, but I improved my time by a lot ? Coach was happy. Johnny, on the other hand, won! My boyfriend actually placed first! He?s got so close in the last meet, but he said he was just warming up. Coach thinks he might have a shot at winning Regionals if he keeps improving. We?ll see what happens when the outdoor season starts in March.

Classes are better this semester ? fewer morning classes which means I get to sleep in more. That?s especially nice after track meets. Johnny and I were also able to schedule some of our GE?s together. He?s even my Bio lab partner, so that should be fun. I love seeing him every day ? it makes the boring classes go a lot faster. That and he?s pretty smart, so he helps when I get stuck.

He had sex last Wednesday night. God, how I missed it. It was the first we?d been able to since the break ? we made sure Tomas was going to be gone a while. Most nights we just make out, maybe have oral. I knew he was aching to have me inside of him again. He wanted to do it standing up this time and it actually wasn?t as hard as I imagined it would be. I guess I?m in better shape than I thought. He braced himself against the bedpost and I came up behind him.

I wasn?t sure where to put my arms ? I started on his hips, but I ended up wrapping them around his entire torso. God, his pecs rippling against my arms got me going harder. I would look down every now and then and watch our thigh muscles flexing and shifting with each stroke ? that turned me on even more. I even tried reaching around and kissing him while we were doing it, but it kinda threw me off and I almost knocked him over.

The sounds that came out of our mouths were louder and deeper than that first time we did it a month ago. He said that I was practically growling into his ear. And the load he shot when I came into him must have gone halfway across the room ? fuck, it was ridiculous! It was like he was saving it up for me or something. He wants to do it in the shower, but we both sort of decided that would be too risky ? maybe next year when everyone knows about us.

But the best part about sleeping with Johnny is afterwards when he curls up next to me with his head on my chest and my arm wrapped around his shoulders. He?s so beautiful when he?s sleeping ? he?s gorgeous anyway ? but there?s something about the way he looks when his eyes are closed and he?s laying against me?peaceful, content. And then the look he gets in his eyes when he tells me he loves me ? I know he?s not just saying it. I mean, I love him too of course ? with all my heart ? but he really means it. It?s like he becomes lost in me. Damn, I can?t stop thinking about him. I can?t imagine my life without him.


Sunday, February 15, 2004:

So, um, Tomas knows about us now. He kinda walked in on us, you know?doing it. He seems fine with it ? as long as we don?t do stuff in front of him of course? but it was?well, awkward.

It started last night when we were at a party. There was no track meet this weekend, so we were off. Johnny and I go to parties whenever we can since track takes up a lot of our free time. I try not to get too drunk, but occasionally we?ll smoke pot?like we did at this party. I get pretty horny whenever I get high?and I got really high, like higher than I?ve ever been in my life. Johnny must?ve noticed it and helped me back to my dorm.

Of course as soon as we were alone, I was all over him. I pushed him onto the couch and collapsed on top of him. He?s used to me being the more physical one when we do things ? that and he?s really strong so he can take pretty much anything I dish out. I think I practically tore his shirt off and immediately came all over him. Like I said, I basically have no control when I?m high.

Anyway, I don?t remember everything, but I do remember yanking his jeans down, flipping him over and pounding him up the ass. I could tell he was liking it, even though it was probably harder than I had ever done before. I came again and he let out this shriek that still echoes through my head. I think it was because I never bothered to put on a condom so it was the first time he ever had the experience of me completely spewing into him. Plus, it was such an intense orgasm that I nearly passed out. I let out this roar ? I don?t know what got into me ? that I?m sure people in the next dorm heard it.

Just then, Tomas walked in. I caught him out the corner of my eye ? you can?t miss him ? and he just froze for a second. It was like it took him a whole minute to realize exactly what was happening ? or at least it seemed that way to me since I was still really high. Tomas said something and Johnny sat up ? nearly pushing me off the couch in the process. I just remember the sight of his bulging triceps made me almost cum yet again ? I wanted to lick them. And I think I did because Johnny moaned and said something about inviting Tomas to join us ? Johnny was pretty high, too. We both laughed and Tomas had this strange look on his face, like he wasn?t sure what to do next.

Finally, Johnny got up, pulled up his pants and went over to talk to Tomas. I couldn?t hear what they were saying, but that was when it kinda hit me. I suddenly got this feeling that we were screwed, that our secret was out. I threw my clothes back on and just stood there, not knowing what to do.

I didn?t know you guys were gay.

That?s all Tomas said. I looked at Johnny and he looked at me. I had half-expected Tomas to beat us up or something. I mean, he could probably pulverize both of us with one of his massive arms tied behind his back ? the guy holds the school record in the shot put, for heaven?s sake. But he didn?t. He just said something about seeing a lot worse back in Poland.

I still don?t know what Johnny said to him ? I didn?t ask ? but Tomas didn?t seem to be disgusted by us or anything, just embarrassed that he had walked in on us having sex. I?m thinking about talking to him about it, but he was gone before I woke up this morning. Johnny says he?s fine with it, that because he?s from Europe he?s used to gay guys making out in public at clubs and shit like that. I was still freaking out a little, but Johnny calmed me down, telling me that it was alright, that our secret was safe with Tomas. Of course I believe him. Tomas isn?t the type to go blabbing off to everyone.

I could tell Johnny was very worried about me. He kept asking me if I was ok. I told him I was just nervous about someone else knowing about us ? I wasn?t ready to come out yet. He smiled and said that it?s probably a good thing Tomas knows ? he could get rid of anyone who has a problem when we do. Then, he gave me a kiss and I immediately started feeling better.

That?s what I love the most about Johnny ? he always knows how to make me feel better, whether it?s when I?ve had too much to drink or when I?m going crazy about something. Just the touch of him makes all of that go away.


Saturday, March 21, 2004:

The last month has been ridiculous! Between track and classes, I?ve been going nuts ? it?s a good thing I have Johnny to keep me from going over the edge. I don?t know what I?d do without him.

Track meets have been going great. I mean, I haven?t won anything, but I?ve made a few finals. Mom even came to see me last weekend ? she was so proud. Johnny wanted to meet her of course ? he still always asks about what my family is like. At first, I was a little nervous that she might figure out that the two of us were, you know, together. But Johnny was all business when I introduced him to her. I told her that he was the one who got me used to the 800 since I had always done the 400 in high school.

Speaking of the 800, Johnny?s times lately have been blistering. He?s so much faster than me, I just can?t keep up with him anymore even though my times have improved. And I swear his legs are looking even more muscular than ever before. They bulge like crazy when he flexes them and the cuts in his thighs are insane. I mean, my legs are really defined too, but nothing like his. The teardrops in his quads are huge, his hamstrings are ripped and his calves are like concrete footballs. And his ass ? fuck ? his ass is more gorgeous than ever. It?s rock-hard, even when he?s completely relaxed, and the feeling of his glutes around my cock when we have sex is almost too much.

The rest of him too is harder and more defined than ever. I know he works like a madman in the gym ? he can lift far more than I can ? and it?s obvious. His shoulders are like a mile wide and are round like basketballs. His chest and lats have gotten bigger ? I love licking the striations of his pecs and running my tongue along the deep trough between them. And then there are his abs. Damn! He was always ripped, but now you can literally see every single muscle underneath his paper-thin skin ? his obliques, his hip flexors, everything. It?s like he doesn?t have an ounce of bodyfat. He weighs 165 pounds and it?s all muscle.

I?m about 158 and in the best shape of my life ? 6% bodyfat ? but I pale in comparison to Johnny. Sometimes during practice, he?ll wear only his track shorts ? no shirt or tanktop. Man, does he turn heads. And when he works up a sweat?fuck, I can barely control myself. There?s simply no one like him ? the hottest fitness models can?t hold a candle to Johnny and even Tyrone, who has a ridiculous body himself, envies him. Johnny says he can lift almost as much as his roommate, even though Tyrone is considerably bigger.

Anyway, I went home this weekend for Spring Break. Last night before I left, I told Johnny I wished he could come home with me. He smiled and joked that he might just stop by and give me the best sex of my life. I laughed and cupped his biceps ? they?re bigger than ever too ? and leaned in to kiss him. I felt his body relax, telling me that it was mine to do whatever I wanted. So we had sex twice last night and he fell asleep in my arms again.

I think Tomas came back from wherever while we were sleeping because he was snoring on his bed when I woke up to leave. We had decided that I would put a post-it note on our door when Johnny and I were having sex so he wouldn?t walk in on us again. I wondered how long he waited to come back ? he probably went to get some food or something in the meantime. His huge gut was peeking out from the bottom of his muscle shirt ? I think it?s time for him to get new clothes again since he recently hit 280 pounds.

Speaking of gaining more weight, Duane looks like he has put on at least another 10 pounds of fat since I last saw him. His uncle invited me over to his place ? Duane?s uncle is loaded and has a lot of land with this huge ass lake with a swinging rope and everything. It was the first time I had seen Duane with his shirt off since at least the summer?and I wished I hadn?t. I mean, he?s not obese or anything, but he?s definitely overweight. He has these love handles and this gut just sagging out of his bathing suit. The faint abs he used to have are long gone and there were even stretch marks on his stomach. I can?t believe I ever had a crush on him.

You know, it?s amazing how things change cause Danny, on the other hand, looks really good, I have to admit. I almost didn?t recognize him when I first saw him. Not only has he lost a hundred pounds ? no joke ? but he?s grown a few inches and shed all that baby fat from his face. He?s lean and trimmed now. I mean, he still has some bulk in his chest and shoulders, but it?s healthy bulk ? it?s obvious there?s muscle there now when it used to be all fat. I guess all that training for football, wrestling and track did him well.

I asked him how track was going since I knew the season was just starting for him. He shrugged and said it was fine. I told him if he needed any help with his hurdling technique, I was available. He was like, yeah sure, which meant ?not really? judging from the unaffected look on his face. I kinda had to laugh a little ? it was a typical response from a freshman jock.

He really didn?t seem to want to talk to me, so I had to ask Duane how wrestling season went. According to his brother, Danny did pretty well in the 130-pound weight class, but he wants to move up next year. He plans to bulk up over the summer for football, gain size and strength so that when he cuts down for wrestling season, he?ll be in top condition. I told Duane it sounded like Danny had become a full-blown jock. Duane rolled his eyes and nodded, saying he?s changed a lot in the last year. He?s paying more attention to his appearance ? his clothes, his hair. He spends a lot of time in the bathroom every morning and he always has some fancy cologne on.

And you should see him with the girls, he said. Apparently, Danny?s becoming a bit of a ladies man, much to his mom?s chagrin. I must confess, I can see why ? Danny is a pretty good-looking kid?brown eyes, dirty blond hair, bright smile ? when he does smile that is. And high school girls always go for the jocks ? I never had a problem getting dates back in high school.

Of course now I have Johnny. I so badly want to tell Duane about my boyfriend, but I don?t know how to come out to him. I don?t think he?ll freak out or anything since we?ve known each other forever and he was probably my closest friend growing up. I want him to be the first to know ? before everyone else ? and I might not see him again until the summer. And since Johnny and I are planning on coming out right before then, that means I gotta tell Duane this week, before I go back to school. God, I don?t know what to do.


Friday, March 27, 2004:

Well, I came out to Duane tonight. My mom wasn?t home so he came over for pizza and to watch the basketball tournament. During halftime of the Alabama-UConn game, I just broke it to him. He seemed taken aback at first ? he said he just didn?t expect me to say something like that. I asked him if he had a problem with me being gay and he said absolutely not. I mean, I knew he wouldn?t ? I just wasn?t sure how he?d react. He told me that I don?t come across as gay, so that?s why he was so shocked. But he said that didn?t change the kind of person I was.

I always looked up to you, he said. You got your shit together.

I thought that was really nice of him to say. He went on about how some of his friends in college are gay since he?s in music and they all seem to have themselves figured out. I guess you have to have that confidence if you?re gonna come out to people, he said. In a way, I think he?s right, though I never thought of it that way before. I?ve seen how my confidence has grown since going to school and meeting Johnny. I don?t think I would?ve been able to come out to Duane ? or anyone for that matter ? a year ago.

I then told him about Johnny. Of course I didn?t go into details, but it was obvious he could tell what kind of relationship we had. I told him how perfect he was and how in love we were. Duane grinned and said I was lucky ? he?s still looking for a girl as dorky as he is. I laughed ? leave it to Duane to lighten up the conversation.

We didn?t utter a word about it after that and the rest of the night was completely normal, as if nothing had changed. That?s really how I knew he didn?t have a problem with my sexuality. I can only pray that everyone else has the same reaction when Johnny and I come out.


Friday, April 3, 2004:

God, I love Johnny! Yesterday was my 19th birthday and of course he had to make it memorable, to say the least. I should?ve known something was up when he wasn?t in health class ? he never skips that. I thought maybe he was sick, but he seemed fine this morning when we woke up and he immediately wished me a happy birthday with a kiss.

I went back to my dorm?to find Johnny on my bed wearing nothing but really, really tight briefs. In fact, it was so small, they barely fit around his bubble butt ? the top of his crack was visible ? and he was lying in this ridiculously over-the-top provocative pose with his ass in the air. He looked like he had just sprung from a swimsuit calendar.

He slowly stood up, stretched his shoulders back and rubbed his hands down his chest and abs. His dick was barely contained in the briefs ? it bulged obscenely between his muscular thighs. Mine was already hard and throbbing in my jeans. Johnny?s body was glistening ? he had put on body oil, making him look like he was deeply tanned. Then he spoke in this really sexy, melodramatic voice: I?m here to make all your dreams come true, Birthday Boy. It was like something out of a porno.

We had never done role play or anything like that before, but he definitely seemed to know what he was doing. Apparently, he persuaded Tomas to leave the room to us all afternoon? it?s great to not have to worry about hiding everything from your roommate anymore.

I stripped my shirt off ? Johnny?s cock started growing, straining the fabric of his briefs even more. He tugged them down, revealing his hip flexors all the way down to his crotch. Then, he turned his back to me ? though he gazed at me erotically over his shoulder ? and slowly pulled down his briefs. Shit, his ass was so fucking gorgeous?I practically exploded right then and there.

I came up behind him and wrapped my arms around his torso, kissing the back of his neck. His body was so warm and hard. He moaned and immediately started slowly bucking his hips against my aching cock. I could feel his pecs and abs rippling underneath my fingers as I pushed him toward the wall. He knew what I wanted?him, all of him. Suddenly, I pressed his arms against the wall spread eagle and almost too easily, slipped my dick into him. He seemed to love being pinned against the wall, me pounding him up the ass ? fuck, I loved it, too. When we finally came, the orgasm was so intense, I almost felt like I was going to fall backward.

I fucked Johnny at least three more times last night ? we were making out practically non-stop for hours. He must have kissed or licked or sucked on every square inch of my body?and gave me the best head of my life. After that sex marathon, we slept in our usual position ? his head on my pec, my arm around his shoulders. I can?t believe I came five times in such quick succession, but I guess when your boyfriend is a fucking walking orgasm, it?s impossible to stop.

It was incredible ? though I?m sure we won?t be able to make it a regular thing ? Johnny said he was sore as hell the next morning and I was so exhausted, I slept in till noon?and missing two classes in the process. I hope he?ll be ok for the track meet tomorrow.


Monday, May 18, 2004:

So we had the Regional track championships this past weekend. I would?ve written last night, but we got home so late and I was so tired, I literally fell asleep as soon as my head hit a pillow. And it turned out, it wasn?t mine ? it was Tomas?. The funny thing was, he accidentally fell asleep in mine. Even funnier, it took us like a whole five minutes to realize it when we woke up. It?s a good thing Johnny didn?t try to sneak under the sheets with me?cause he would?ve been wondering how I put on almost 150 pounds overnight.

Anyway, back to Regionals. About a dozen athletes from MSU qualified. Johnny qualified in the 800 ? I was so fucking proud of him ? Tomas made the cut in the shot put and Tyrone in the 100. Coach was beaming since it was the first time in school history that three freshman made the cut. Of course, I didn?t come close to qualifying so I was in the stands with the rest of the team, but it was great to cheer them on.

Tyrone made it through to the semis and barely got edged out of the final qualifying spot for the final. Johnny made his final, though he didn?t place ? I could tell even from the stands that he was upset. He told me later his pacing was off and he could?ve done a lot better. Tomas, however, actually came in second ? the guy?s gonna be a freak. He?ll probably end up in the Olympics someday!

After the meet finished yesterday, we all went out to this buffet place for dinner. I hope the restaurant knew we were coming cause two dozen track athletes can eat a lot. Tomas alone probably ate enough for an entire team ? I think I saw him go back for more food at least 15 times. Johnny joked that he was trying to bulk up to 380 next season. When I told him it was impossible for someone to get that big, he looked at me and said that there were ways.

Never underestimate a guy?s desire to get what he wants.

He said it with a provocative smirk on his face and I knew immediately what he was thinking. On the bus ride back to MSU ? it was a looooong trip ? Johnny actually fell asleep on my shoulder. Tomas made a remark about how cute we looked which made all the other guys laugh. Of course, they don?t know what we really do behind closed doors ? except for Tomas obviously ? but they will soon enough.

Johnny and I had decided to slowly come out to everyone next week now that the season is over. He already scheduled a conference with Coach to discuss how best to do it. Coach doesn?t know yet, but he?s a good guy and I trust he?ll give us good advice. Shit, I have butterflies in my stomach right now just thinking about it.

I know the idea of coming out used to freak me out, but after talking it over with Johnny like a million times, I realized that there?s nothing we can do about how people react to it. If they have an issue with our being gay, that?s their problem and they can go fuck themselves. It?s a simple way to think about it?and the only way that doesn?t make things more complicated, to be honest.

God, where would I be without Johnny?

[Speaker]

This is really great.

I can't help shake the feeling that this is one of those "too good to be true" parts though. I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Maybe that's just me being cynical though

[mslheet]

I too sense storm clouds on the horizon. Another great chapter!

[chocomus]

this is so sweet!!! i love it!!!!

[luvyalots]

The following article was taken from a local newspaper based near Mitchell State University:

LOCAL STUDENT ARRESTED FOR DEALING STEROIDS

May 21, 2004
MITCHELL ? Mitchell State University freshman and stand-out track athlete John Harvick was arrested last night under allegations of illegal drug distribution. According to police reports, Harvick, 19, had allegedly been dealing illegal anabolic steroids and other performance-enhancing drugs to teammates on the University?s track team.

?The suspect apparently had been engaging in this activity since the day he arrived on campus last August,? Detective Harold Gibbons of the Mitchell Police Department stated. ?He had been extremely meticulous about who he dealt with and how.?

After an sting investigation that included an anonymous cooperative witness allegedly reported to be another student, a variety of PEDs along with drug paraphernalia were found in Harvick?s dormitory, as well as the dorm rooms of at least six other students. While the names of the six other individuals were not released, one was confirmed to be an international student from Europe studying in the United States on a visa.

Harvick was most recently a finalist in the 800 meters at the NCAA Regional Track Championships earlier this month and was considered by many experts to be a rising star in the sport.

An official announcement by the University is forthcoming. Neither the University nor the athletic department could be reached for comment.

[mslheet]

oh Johnny!