Memoirs of a Gay Jock 5

[luvyalots]

Previously, Will's boyfriend Johnny seems too good to be true...perhaps he is.

The following article was taken from a local newspaper based near Mitchell State University:

LOCAL STUDENT ARRESTED FOR DEALING STEROIDS

May 21, 2004
MITCHELL ? Mitchell State University freshman and stand-out track athlete John Harvick was arrested last night under allegations of illegal drug distribution. According to police reports, Harvick, 19, had allegedly been dealing illegal anabolic steroids and other performance-enhancing drugs to teammates on the University?s track team.

?The suspect apparently had been engaging in this activity since the day he arrived on campus last August,? Detective Harold Gibbons of the Mitchell Police Department stated. ?He had been extremely meticulous about who he dealt with and how.?

After an sting investigation that included an anonymous cooperative witness allegedly reported to be another student, a variety of PEDs along with drug paraphernalia were found in Harvick?s dormitory, as well as the dorm rooms of at least six other students. While the names of the six other individuals were not released, one was confirmed to be an international student from Europe studying in the United States on a visa.

Harvick was most recently a finalist in the 800 meters at the NCAA Regional Track Championships earlier this month and was considered by many experts to be a rising star in the sport.

An official announcement by the University is forthcoming. Neither the University nor the athletic department could be reached for comment.

Wednesday, August 25, 2004:

Wow, I haven?t written in months. To be honest, I haven?t wanted to ? I haven?t touched this journal since before school ended?I couldn?t. I read the last few entries just now and I can?t believe how naive I was. To actually think that Johnny loved me?was I dumb or something? He used me to sell his drugs and make money ? my own roommate Tomas was apparently one of his best customers. It makes me sick just thinking about it.

I guess I better explain what happened. I don?t care how much it hurts. So when we got back from Regionals, Johnny and I were planning to tell Coach about us, about our relationship, and eventually come out to everyone. Well, the night before our meeting, Johnny got arrested for dealing steroids ? sorry, performance-enhancing drugs, as they?re saying the in the newspaper.

I didn?t see him in cuffs or anything ? he had already been taken away before I got back from class ? but there were cops at my dorm. I almost freaked out. At first, I thought they found pot or something, but I never kept any in my room. Apparently, they were looking for Tomas who wasn?t home. I later learned he had fled the country to avoid getting arrested and is probably back in Poland or something ? no one knows where exactly.

Anyway, this detective started questioning me about Tomas. I told him I didn?t really know anything about these anabolic steroids he was taking ? only that he had been bulking up like crazy and getting really huge ever since last summer. The detective was obviously suspicious of me and started asking me questions about where he might be getting the drugs. I told him I had no idea ? I would never do that shit ? but I agreed to come with them back to the police station. I figured I had nothing to hide and an hour there and it would all be over. I mean, I was still shocked about Tomas, but I knew they couldn?t hold anything against me.

So there I was, sitting in this room at the station. The same detective kept asking me the same questions, making me repeat things over and over. It was like he was trying to catch me in a lie or something. At last, he seemed like he was about to let me go when he asked if I knew someone by the name of John Harvick. I nearly froze and I was like, What does Johnny have to do with this?

The detective looked at me with this weird expression and started flipping through this file. He asked me if I knew of Johnny taking steroids. I immediately said no and asked him what this was about, but the guy kept asking me question after question. Did Johnny ever offer steroids to me? Did Johnny ever say anything about selling steroids? Did Johnny do anything that made me suspicious?

I was like, What the fuck? My hands were shaking and I was at a loss for words. I didn?t know what to say. I couldn?t say anything of course, but I could tell the detective knew there was something else. He left the room for a few minutes but I knew he could still see me through the two-way window.

He came back in with another detective and they both sat down across from me. The other guy introduced himself as a DEA agent. That?s when I realized Johnny was in real trouble. I asked him what was going on and where Johnny was. Then he finally told me.

It turns out Johnny was the center of a drug ring that involved several colleges all over the state ? it wasn?t just guys from our team or even sport. There were football players and baseball players who were part of it, including two guys that graduated from my high school.

Apparently, the cops caught wind of it when a cooperating witness ? that?s what they call it, kinda like an informant I guess ? came forward and said that someone at MSU was dealing roids. I bet you a million bucks it was Tyrone. I mean, I?m not sure of course, but he was Johnny?s roommate and it was pretty obvious he was getting jealous of him being more successful and more popular and stuff.

And that wasn?t even the full extent of it all. Johnny was not only selling roids, he was apparently on them himself. Well, not anabolic steroids ? he was taking something called THG. I had never heard of it before, but it?s apparently something that middle-distance runners take illegally to keep the lactic acid from building up while they run. I couldn?t believe my own boyfriend was juicing and I didn?t have a clue.

To say I was upset is an understatement. I mean, I didn?t cry or anything but I wanted to. Johnny was my boyfriend ? we were in love. Shouldn?t I have known? We knew everything about each other?or so I thought. His name was all over the papers and made the local news. The first time I actually saw Johnny?s mug ? those bright blue eyes now pale and his hair all messy ? I nearly burst out into tears. It was absolutely surreal ? I felt like I was in a nightmare.

Needless to say, I didn?t care very much about finals after that. I don?t even remember taking them. Not like it mattered, because I dropped out once the semester ended. I can?t go back to MSU ? not without constantly being reminded of Johnny and how he betrayed me. In fact, I didn?t do anything all summer. I didn?t go anywhere, I didn?t hang out with anyone ? not even Duane. I basically slept all the time. I didn?t want to get out of bed and when I did, it was only to shower. I would just stand there, letting the water run over my naked body. I tried to watch TV ? the Athens Olympics were on ? but I would get this pain in my stomach every time they mentioned anything about the track and field events.

My mom knew everything ? I had to explain why I wasn?t going back to school ? which means she also now knows I?m gay. It wasn?t exactly how I expected to come out to her, but she took it well ? she had to.

A few days ago, I finally decided to get over it. I mean, I?m still pissed and I feel sick every time I even think about Johnny, but I think I?m starting to move on ? I have to. The other day, I looked at myself in the mirror or the first time in months. God, I look like crap. I?ve lost so much weight ? all of it muscle of course ? it?s like I never worked out at all. I went down for breakfast and made toast, eating it silently while my mom asked me how I was feeling. I told her I was fine. Then she started talking about me getting a job ? my old high school track coach said he needed someone to supervise the weight room after school hours and on weekends. I didn?t say anything and just walked outside.

I could tell she wanted to yell at me for ignoring her but she didn?t. I didn?t mean to be rude or anything ? I just needed to get some air. I figured I?d head down to Joe?s Pizza. I had no intention of getting anything to eat ? I just wanted to do something normal.

When I got down there, I was surprised to find it kinda busy. I had slept in later than I thought and I didn?t realize it was around noon. Duane and some of his old high school band friends were there. I have to admit I envy him a bit ? none of my friends from high school even so much as called me all summer.

He saw me and waved me to come over. I had nothing better to do, so I did. Thankfully, they didn?t mention anything about Johnny or the steroids ? I don?t know if the other guys even knew I was connected to it, but I could tell in Duane?s eyes whenever he looked at me that he knew. He had been the only other person at home who knew I was even gay and that I was dating Johnny.

After a while, Duane?s friends left and it was just the two of us. He immediately asked me how I was doing ? I hadn?t seen him all summer. I said I was fine, that I was starting to get over it. I just looked down at the table ? I couldn?t look him directly in the eyes, I was so embarrassed.

Duane then mentioned that I looked different ? probably in an attempt to change the subject. I looked down at myself and realized I was practically swimming in the T-shirt I was wearing, a shirt that fit me pretty snug a few months ago. I said that I had lost weight, lost all the muscle I had cause I hadn?t worked out in forever. He remarked that he wished he could lose weight as easily as I did and started laughing.

I could see what he was doing ? trying to make me feel better. I told him that, though it came out more nasty than I intended. Duane seemed taken aback. I apologized and told him I was just pissed. He said he understood and that I had every right to be. You need to get your mind off of him, he said ? and he said ?him? with disdain, like he hated Johnny almost as much as I did.

Anyway, I asked him what he meant and he told me I should do something completely different. And then he started talking about this drum corps thing that he had been doing on the weekends all summer. Drum corps is apparently like a marching band but more intense ? they compete and stuff. He said anyone can join and march. Duane seemed to really enjoy it.

I looked at him skeptically. I told him I didn?t want to become a band geek, no offense of course. He laughed and said that he didn?t exactly mean it that way. He just said that should come with him when the drum corps goes to finals. A lot of the guys there are cool, no band geeks at all, and at least for a while I?ll be able to get my mind off of Johnny and everything. I told him I?d think about it.


Friday, August 27, 2004:

Well, I took Duane?s offer of coming with him to his drum corps? finals. I happened to mention it to my mom and she seemed to think it was a brilliant idea. So, that?s how I find myself writing this entry from a hotel room in Scranton.

It?s actually not as bad as I thought it was going to be. The bus ride here was long and sucked like hell, but most of the other guys in the hornline ? those are the people that play the trumpets and stuff ? are pretty cool. They?re not at all geeky and some of the older guys are downright hilarious. This one old guy ? he?s like almost 60 ? has been marching with them for years and years and he told me stories about what the corps was like in the 60s and 70s. It seemed wild. There?s apparently a huge party after finals on Sunday night ? everyone drinks, even the younger members. The ages here range from like 15 to 65, but everyone gets along ? it?s like a big family. I can see why Duane loves it so much.

Duane introduced me to the corps director and said that I can help out with the truck crew. They always need people to move instruments around and feed the corps while they?re rehearsing during the day. I helped load the trucks before we left ? they have a ton of stuff and some of it is really heavy. They said they were glad to have me along. Plus, I get into the competition for free.

Right now, they?re practicing outside the hotel. I can hear them through the window. They sound pretty good and they?re really loud. I?m rooming with Duane and a couple other trumpet players ? college kids who are pretty cool. One of them said he was on his high school?s rowing team. I could believe that ? he?s pretty muscular, certainly bigger than me. You know, the type of guy I used to always crush on back in high school.

Let?s face it ? I?m probably never going to find someone who was as ?perfect? as Johnny, so why bother obsessing over it. If I find someone who is attractive and is attracted to me, I?ll go for it, but I?m not expecting to be so in love with a guy that I want to spend the rest of my life with him. I?m done with that bullshit.

[mslheet]

interesting... lots of room for new characters too. Looking forward to more.

[Synth.x]

Weren't you writing a story a while back with two intersecting plotlines that centered on a Drum Corps? I remember the characters very well but some of their names escape me...

I remember that story... That one was a fun read, as is this one!

[luvyalots]

I never finished that story, but I am using some of its elements in this story. However, drum corps will not be as central. This story will be in phases - phase 1 just ended and Will is embarking on phase 2.

Thanks for reading and for your comments.

[GlitzPianoman]

Oh my god, please continue this! I'm totally loving it!

[chocomus]

wow, he really changed, but hey! Johnny couldn't even defend himself! how does he know he wasn't framed or anything? he hasn't tell his part of the story.