Canadian working out again after 5 years

[CanadianGordon]

Hey everyone.
I guess this is where I go from being a lurker to making the first step into being a daily poster..
I've been fascinated by muscle all my life I guess.
From being lifted up as a kid, to lifting someone for a show or fun.
In high school, grade nine I had my first encounter with realizing exactly how much I loved muscle. One of the "jocks" in my gym class, and "jerks" (he bullied me in that gym class. I had to get protection from the captain of the wrestling team, but more on THAT later... Anyways, this "jock" was showing how to use the evil looking contraptions in the weight room with the help of the teacher.
It was a weight machine. I'd never seen one before in my life.
He did some bench presses and then sat up and flexed his bicep for us.
He had a bicep that, hmm, looking back was probably no bigger than I am now, but to a kid with 10" or 11" arms, it was pretty impressive.
Once we were shown how to use the equipment I tackled it head on and my teacher even wrote in my report card that year, exactly how enthusiastic I was towards the weight training segment of the course...
Flash forward a year or two when I could actually take the weight training COURSE at another school. (I didn't like the school I was in in grade nine, so I switched to a performing arts high school. Yup, drama queen here.)
This school had everything, three gyms, six changerooms, two weight rooms, a swimming pool. A theatre. Drama rooms. Music Rooms. Shop Room. Dance Rooms. And I got to go there.
I never really fit into one group in high school. If I was with the artsy types, I was an artsy type. If I was with the intelletucals, I'd be an intellectual.
If I was with the jocks, well I was one of the jocks.
What helped was one of my classmates from another school I went to in grade 7 & 8 had become a jock himself. He took me under his wing, and showed me the weightroom. He did something of a transformation himself.
Going from 6'2" 150 to oh, 6'2" 250. All muscle. Quite nice.
Once I started lifting in the weight lifting course I had a lot of fun.
I felt healthier, and started getting compliments on how much bigger I looked.
I didn't realize I was gay yet, I just knew I loved muscle. And I loved growing.

The problem was, once the course was done, you couldn't take it again.
You had to continue on your own, and well, without the help and support from my classmates in a controlled environment, well let's just say I quickly lost faith in how well I was doing. I also couldn't find a workout partner since my friend had graduated...

Then I graduated and I lost the free gym. I started eating wrong. A lot more than I had been. I inherited a bit too much money at once from my father passing away and was stupidly accepted into a performing arts school to become a triple threat actor (drama/dance/voice).
The school, which I won't name because they don't even deserve a mention, decided, through nasty politics that after one term(!) of study, I NO LONGER had any talent left to use.
And they rudely kicked me out in December 1999 right before Christmas.
This sent me into a nice depression that lasted from December 1999 to March 2000. I went as they saw the wrong way, from fit to fat.
I gained about 20-30 pounds and felt terrible about all I had done with my life was leading up to nothing.
With some help from my friends and family I slowly made my way back to the community theatre groups whom with I had so rudely shut the door on in June of 1999.
I went back with my tail between my legs, and humbly took a part in a play I had done years before. The Music Man, a delightful musical, where a con man fools a whole town into believing into themselves. Along the way he falls in love and creates a barbershop quartet.
To my surprise, and a great ego booster as well, my role was that of one of the barbershop quartet members. Not the low one. Not the one inbetween. Not the second to last highest.. But the very highest quartet member.
I quickly did my best to get back in shape, but while the body was willing, the flesh was weak, but I got back into it.
Over the next five years I won two awards, for my acting in community theatre, and was nominated 5 times. I performed various roles, that stretched me actingwise to those that well, didn't, but were fun nonetheless.
Now you can imagine what that depression did to me. It made me eat unhealthy, and not take proper care of myself.
Even though I'm an actor, (and a good one at that I've been told, which is fine with me) I was very bad when I was younger and didn't take proper care of my teeth...
You see where I'm leading with this? Basically I have a picture of myself from a show I worked on two years ago, where I'm smiling, and I look horrible.
I look like a pirate. My teeth were so bad I didn't realize it because up till then I'd always kept my mouth closed for photographs...
It was no wonder I was getting no work as an actor for commercials or film or television... And always theatre. Well, community theatre, that is. There's always a need for guys in community theatre. In professional theatre, they're a dime a dozen.
So I spent the last two years, and a few thousand dollars fixing up my teeth.
I went to a university dental school and let students work on my teeth, helping them with their grades while only paying a fraction of the price.
All this time I had neglected my body. And every new year's resolution to join a gym and get back in shape. My shape at that time was rotund. Stocky.
Not fit at all. A week after my 24th birthday this year, I went to get a full physical checkup from my family doctor.
He basically ordered me to loose weight and get in shape or else I'd really be in trouble. I was heading for one of those early deaths, you read about.
I drastically changed my diet, cutting out McDonalds and most fast food places, as well as some of the more bad foods for you..
But I had yet to join a gym.

I also had yet to get a new agent, my old one was telling people, that my teeth were bad, when they weren't, and that I was out of shape and useless as an actor. If I had proof I'd take her to court and put her out of business.
But I don't. Just heresay, and no way to prove it.
But I can have the last laugh.
I thought, as a birthday gift to me I'd find a gym that was downtown Toronto, cause I live in Mississauga, believe me, while it's a nice city, it's a place out of which you must get in order to go anywhere with your life.
That, and because I'm not "out" at home yet, believe me, it's not easy trying to keep everything "straight" so to speak.
I found an ideal gym, I even thought I had found the perfect workout partner too. Gay but not attracted to me, so we could joke about the guys at the gym without worrying about any problems...
The week after I joined I got to do a fitness test, as ordered by the insurance company for the gym. I had worked out 3x the week before and was quite pleased with how strong I was considering how long I hadn't worked out for..
But I knew what I was doing wasn't right. I knew I might have to, dip into the bucket again, and maybe pay a trainer for assistance...

My results of that fitness test?
I'm 24, 5'8", 185lbs. I have a large bone structure, which means I've been carrying extra fat all my life. My chest and waist were unfortunately the exact same size giving me a barrel look, 36".
My arms had swollen to 13.5" just from the 3 x of going to the gym the week before. My thighs which I've always kinda hated, because they grew so easily in high school, and I know many bodybuilders would kill for my leg genetics, were 23" and my calves were 15".
They also figured out what my bodyfat was, which my doctor didn't want to do unless I couldn't change my bad ways.
31.5%.
A normal person who walks and moves regularly has less than half that.
I was carrying 40 dangerous pounds of fat on my frame.
The attendant doing the measuring was startled because I don't look very overweight.
But then again, you wouldn't know it from looking at my face that I have a 100% overbite either..
She asked me how I'd feel with perhaps hiring a personal trainer to help me drop all that weight and get me back in shape again, and also teach me how to do the excercises properly. After 5 years I was a little rusty.
I said I'd consider it if it wasn't too much.
I'd already dropped money for a gym membership, and believe me it was hard to convince my mother to allow me to even do that.
My mother, oddly enough, when I look back at my life, has been the one to push me only so far, and leave the rest of the way up to me.
I asked for many years for a weight set for Christmas. I never got one.
One year I got a kareoke machine instead in a giant box.
There's a video tape of my reaction to this heavy box and it's pretty funny cause you can see the dissapointment on my face from the gift.
Cause I thought it was a weight set...
So I knew I'd have another obstacle to overcome.
I figured out the math, and realized that if I didn't hire a trainer, I'd just get dissapointed with seeing no results and a gym membership would go to waste and so would my health.
So I hired a personal trainer, gay friendly, and smaller than me, but understanding and very fun to be around. He's a compact guy almost my height, but very sadistic and great as a trainer...
I haven't told my mom about the trainer, and I don't think I will for a while.
I know she'd cut my throat if she knew how much I had spent this month anyways.
I look at it as a long term investment. In my health. In my career.
In my health.

Plus I'll get to do exactly what I want, which is grow and get better looking. I want to be able to take off my shirt at the beach or the swimming pool or backstage and not be ashamed of what I look like.
I want to be able to wear a better fitting shirt, and fill out my suits without the need for padding.
I want to be the guy on the street who everyone envy's because I've got such a much better body than they do.
I want to get roles in real shows, and get paid for it too. Not just community theatre, but television and film and be recognized not only for how built I am, but how good an actor I am.
But most of all I want to be the person who looks at the mirror after getting out of the shower, and flexes going damn am I built.

That readers, is why I have started working out again, after 5 years.
My name is Gordon, and I'm 24, gay and Canadian, and damn proud of it.
I live in Mississauga, Ontario, Canada.
My yahoo id is masteractor2001, and I can be reached there as well as here.
I promise to post pictures and document the changes in me.
I want to be one of those real transformations everyone talks about doing but hardly anyone does.

I hope everyone enjoyed reading my story, and I promise this is not the end, but the beginning.

p.s. for those wondering, I've lost 10 pounds so far, and am starting to get the "V" shape I so desperately desire. Pictures will be posted asap.

Have a good night.
Gordon.

[omelissokomos]

Thank you for sharing your insights, Gordon. Crush a beercan in front of your mom one of these days for us, willya?

[ethernet_jock]

Great story Gordon! It's very brave of you to expose your entire history in a public forum like that.

Keep up the hard work man... and... why are you so worried about what your mom thinks anyway?

[brent]

I'm with the others, great story, and you need to come out & stop worrying about your mother. Does she have control of your inheritance? I really hope you will totally transform. Just stay at it, and maybe find a member in the Toronto area, there are lots of them here. Also, please post pics regularly; I believe that knowing you have to post more pics soon will keep you motivated.

Brent.

[PAmusclemonkey]

Thank you for telling your story, Gordon! What impresses me most about you is how intense your desire to transform yourself is. You really seem to want it, and that is so very important. And the obstacles you've dealt with haven't deterred you, but made your drive stronger, which is even more awesome. You've got the ingredients for tremendous success. Can't wait to see what you do (and have already done) with them. Kudos!!

[CanadianGordon]

Thanks guys. I've been thinking that question the last little while,
Why do I care what my mom thinks? So I'm not. Screw her.
I'll do what I want when I want and how I want.

And er, about that inheritance... It was $25 thousand.
And I, er, blew thru that in about a year.
Why?
Remember that depression from Dec 1999 to March 2000?
I discovered a little thing called shopping online to keep me occupied.
Not such a good thing.
But going through so much money made me realize how careful you have to be with money...
Now I'm much more frugal.
And I figure why not post my info here, everyone who reads and posts here are great people. I know that by reading the info.
Plus, I just like to get all that crap off my chest.
Helps clear my head every now and then.

[brent]

Originally Posted by CanadianGordon

...
Plus, I just like to get all that crap off my chest.
Helps clear my head every now and then.

Feel free to vent here, I am always going to try to give as honest & positive of a response as possible. The US Navy spent a lot on my therapy, and most of what I got from it was to vent-out negative/constricting thoughts, and stop putting them it the bottle. The other one was to just let the petty crap go. One great therapist told me that when you keep a thought going through your head again, and again, it creates negativity. Just like how resistance in a wire keeps the electricity going around longer, but it creates heat. Just share that crap with us, and let it go. The beauty of sharing/writing something is that the mind no longer has to worry about forgetting that thought, so it can let the thought go.

Keep lifting, the results will keep you inspired, but they do take time to achieve.

[CanadianGordon]

Thanks for the support, and the page views.
Heheheheh.
Gotta love the lurkers. Thanks guys!
I promise pictures soon.
Meanwhile I had a great pump after my workout the other day.
I measured my biceps, almost at 14"!
Sweet. 1 whole inch in a month. From not working out to pumped.
I'm so loving this.
G.

[ottomun6]

Great progress CanadianGordon, keep up the good musclework!

Side note: I think I'm reading between the lines, but I think I understand why you mentioned your mother's opinion about the personal trainer. She probably got upset about the inheritence money.
Can I make a suggestion?- that you start talking to a banker about saving and/or investing for the future? I understand about standing up and making your own path, but in the long run it will help to build a financial cushion for the future, even if you are starting from scratch. Who knows, you might end up a financial genius with big muscles to boot!

[CanadianGordon]

Well it isn't so much the money as it is the fact that she thinks it's a waste of time. Not that I'm bad with money. I'm much better now.
It's the fact that she doesn't believe that one should pay to have someone help you. Well sorry for wanting to live my own life...
I need to move out soon. It's getting to be too much.
But workouts are going good.
I'm blasting my legs through, they're getting nice and defined...
And I'm eating a lot more, keeping the muscles fed...
It's having a mother that doesn't believe in staying fit to be healthy.
She doesn't understand the only way I can get fit, is to workout.
G.

[brent]

Yeah, it sounds like it's high time for you to become independent. You can not stay surrounded by people that repeat limiting thoughts to you.
Take care of yourself.

[CanadianGordon]

I hear ya. The main problem for me is that of all the professions I chose to work in, I chose acting... Which takes a bit of time to get rich by...
So I've got at least another year here... Unless some windfall comes my way.

G.

p.s. or a great role. Workouts are going good. My legs are getting toned. Pics will be posted soon.

[ottomun6]

Oh, OK G.
Keep in mind that trainers are good, but ay some point it you can train with a buddy or two and keep building up those muscles. Once you know what you are doing, buddies are usually a good source of positive feedback. Its a lot cheaper too
I hope your career goes well. Hmm, maybe a talent agent will be at the gym while you are flexing your soon-to-be 18" biceps

[CanadianGordon]

I know, the trainer is temporary, but so far I've lost about 15 pounds of body weight.
And am getting leaner and stronger.
This is fun.

Good work. That's 5 cans of Crisco! You have to know you look & feel better.

[brent]

CG, it's great that you are already seeing results. I think results are what keeps you motivated.

[jco2007]

CanadianGordon
Your story was appreciated and inspiring. It serves to remind us out there that are just treading water, to overcome what obstacles we encounter and move onto fulfilling our goals.

For what its worth, I reckon you're well on your way to attaining the physique you want.

Thank you

[CanadianGordon]

Thanks guys.
Now I just need to keep at it!
I'm hopefully meeting with a friend this week to take progress(before) pictures.

I'll try to schedule it after a workout tho.
lol.
G.

[CanadianGordon]

Just to get a quick update in, I'm starting to see my triceps, and my calves are really getting nice and ripped.
Also my body weight which started at 186, is now at 169!

[brent]

CG, it sounds like you are starting to make some good progress. Be sure (for your own future's sake) to take pics NOW, before you get too developed. Caongratulations on your progress.

[CanadianGordon]

All right, I promise to take pictures asap!

G.

[brent]

Cool, I hope you'll post them. Even if you don't it'll be great for your own documentation.l You've watched me spend weeks looking for decent older pics; don't repeat my mistakes!

[CanadianGordon]

Will do.. ASAP. Especially since my biceps pumped today measured at 14"!!!!!
YAY!

[CanadianGordon]

Well today I had a pleasant surprise when I went to do bicep curls sitting...
I did one set and I felt an odd bump underneath my arms, I thought it was my shirt so I sort of pushed it back to the shouders a little bit...
My trainer asked me if I noticed "those" and pointed to my biceps, now bulging, and engorged with muscle...
I looked down, and was very nicely surprised...
"You made those. You earned those. Those, are yours." he said...

Let's just say while I didn't get laid in the gym today, I've felt high as a kite all day... I'm loving how this is going.
I'll be going in next week for the fitness test again.
Here's hoping my bodyfat has gone down.
I promise to get pictures asap. I just have to get some film...

Gordon.

[brent]

Originally Posted by CanadianGordon

... I felt an odd bump underneath my arms
...
My trainer ...
"You made those. You earned those. Those, are yours." he said...
...

Congratulations! Feels good to notice results doesn't it? You did earn them. There is no way I'm aware of to get them other than hard work.

[Notbigenuff]

Ahh, the joys of having bulging biceps--sounds like you need to move to tank tops like our friend Claygrant has! Congrats.

[brent]

I had to move to muscle shirts for another reason: temperature. Here in Oregon these gym don't think they need much AC, but when you have all those lights, and machines, and people seating, etc. you still need a lot. So I'm always dripping with sweat my whole way through, and muscle-tee style shirts help keep me a bit cooler. Plus they don't look as cheap as tank-tops IMHO.

[CanadianGordon]

I forgot to post in that last post of mine that those bumps under my arms weren't the shirt but were my triceps.
They're small, but they're there... Sweet!

And I was babysitting my sister's kids last night and my nephew was wondering how I was coming along with my workouts. (He's 13. Naturally inquisitive.)
I flexed my arm for him. His response: "WHOA! That's much bigger!"

Yes I'm really enjoing this. I SO can't wait for next summer when I start wearing t shirts and people really notice. Heheheh.
Must head to bed now, workout again tommorrow...

thanks for the support guys.
Now if only the other "lurkers" would post...
Gordon.

And here's a picture that I promised, it's not very good, but it'll have to do for now... And I'm posting two pictures actually. One is from 2000, with a bad digital camera that I in order to work I had to disconnect my mouse and fiddle with cords and things.... So I gave up using it... Also it had no flash...
The second one was taken just this last August, after I started out working out again.

Enjoy!

Gordon.

Pic # 1: http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v5...4/armflex4.jpg

Pic # 2: http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v5...04/mybicep.jpg

And for those who wonder what I look like, here's a picture of me at a sci fi convention meeting Levar Burton:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v5...evarburton.bmp

This picture is of me, back in 2000, with that same crappy camera. The sad thing, I'm sucking in my gut, and I'm ungodly white... Alas I'm a redhead and we don't tan at all, unless we pay for it... So I apologize if you think the white contrast on your screen has died... lol.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v5...echestflex.jpg

that's all for now... I so promise better pictures and more updates...
Gordon.

[CanadianGordon]

Okay, I so can't believe my pictures got NO REPLIES.

There's been like 1000+ views of this thread, and it seems I'm doing most of the replying. C'mon guys! Jeez, provide some feedback. A guy needs a little ego booster every now and then. lol.

I'm joking, about the ego thing. I really do want more replies. Especially from those who view and are members, but haven't posted anything yet.
C'mon guys. I was a lurker, now i'm a poster.
If i can do it, so can you...

Speaking of pictures, I go in tommorrow for my 2nd fitness test, and find out whether I've lost weight, or just bodyfat.

I'll update my info, and see if I can get the pictures as well so I can scan them... they took polaroids of me when I first started...
Should be interesting...
And I'll do the update of my stats. From old and new.
I have been seeing results guys...
And I can't wait to find out what grew...
And what shrunk. ( I know my waist line did, I just don't know by how much)

[ethernet_jock]

Gordon,

I'm so sorry dude that I haven't been around to talk to you. (more on that later)

Your biceps are definitely getting some FINE definition going on there and a noticable lump of strength!

*wide grin*

makes me a little bit harder just thinking about and watching you get a little harder every day.

:P

[CanadianGordon]

Okay folks. Ready?

Hey, I had my 2nd fitness test today and got some really great news:
Well remember how I said I was at 31.5% bodyfat in August?
And I've been seeing a trainer 3x a week with 1 extra day thrown in occasionally by myself...?
I've been eating right, and well trying to at least...
I got one of the biggest shocks in my life.
They checked my bodyfat again today.
I'm now at 21.7 % bodyfat.
21.7 %.
A drop of almost 10 %!
Yes. That much! In two months.
I weigh total 182lbs, down 3 pounds from August.
But my muscle went up and my fat went down.
Yes I'm in shock too.
I've included pictures of me in august and of october...
(note: don't click on them if you don't wish to see a pasty white Canadian with his shirt off. I'm not as blinding as the newfallen snow but I come damn close...)
August 2004
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v5...back_aug04.bmp
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v5...t_august04.bmp
And now October 2004:
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v5...back_oct04.bmp
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v5...ront_oct04.bmp
I'm in shock!

My Fat weight in august was 58.5 lbs of the 185 lbs.
Now? It's 39.4 lbs of the 182 lbs.
My fat free weight (muscle mass and bones and gunk) 127.4 in august.
Now? 142 lbs of the 182 lbs!

My shoulders were at 42" in August, now they're 43"!
My chest was at 36" now it's at 37"!
My arms were at 13"and now they're 14"!
My waist was at 36" now it's at 35"!
My thigh was at 23" now it's at 24"!
My calves were at 15" now they're at 15.5"
Am I stunned?

HELL YES!

Am I continuing?

Oh yeah.

[ethernet_jock]

hahahaha yeaaaah!!!!! ride that high man, and never let it go.

You're doing GREAT!

[CanadianGordon]

Thanks for the thoughts guys...
Gee I WISH MORE PEOPLE WOULD REPLY...
Anyways, the next phase with the trainer?

BULKING.
Heheheheh.

[jco2007]

CanadianGordon
Thanks for your posts and the details in your physical turn-around.

When I was reading your stats, you have definitely turned the ship around are heading in the right direction. Congratulations for identifying what works for you (that is more important than you think). Stick with it and you’ll surprise yourself at what a muscle bull you would have become, and you’ll be ignoring those who paid you scant attention previously.

Power on into further gains.

Thanks again.

[ottomun6]

Congrats on the changes Gordon! Just keep pumping and think "Hercules"
Sorry, I've been off-line for a while but I'll be getting back to putting my 2 cents in.

[CanadianGordon]

Well it doesn't help that there's a lot of eye candy at my gym...
I'd write it all down but I'd get brain cramp.
There's so many built guys..
I just love my locker room..
Heheheh.

Quite an improvement. Way to go guy!

[CanadianGordon]

Hey guys just to let you know I'm taking photos next week. Digital.
A friend of mine is taking them for me...
I'll make the time for myself to get them done.
I wanna be pumped for you guys...
And if not next week, pumped, then at least pictures.
My arms and chest got so nice and pumped today, I got a little turned on in the locker room, flexing and admiring my arms...
My trainer is so excited at how fast I made the gains with my bodyfat...
He can't wait...

[jtchef]

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!!
Your progress is AWSOME keep up the training and flexing there STUD
Can' t wait to see more pics, you should get on cam and flex some for us all

JTCHEF

PS Sorry I have not posted before this, but there has been a lot going on in my life lately and I have not had much time

Congrats again

[CanadianGordon]

Well I'm low on funds right now...

I have a friend who can take pictures for me...
That'll be next week.
Besides guys, wouldn't you much rather that I can pay my personal trainer than some silly ol webcam?
And I'm not a whore (yet) so I'm not selling myself to make money (yet)...
Don't think it hasn't crossed my mind. But i've got a ways to go with my workouts. Bear in mind, this is only two months.
And I don't care who sees my pictures.. Big whoop. I'd be thrilled if someone pretended to be me in an internet chat group.
I like the idea. Besides I'm an actor, so I have no privacy anyways... Heheh.
Better to be an openly "out" actor than one who pretends...
G.

p.s. must get to sleep now and grow. workout tommorrow.