The Summer of 1981, Part 34: For Your Eyes Only

[Padraig]

For those of you who would like to catch up, here are links to the earlier chapters:

Part 1: The Best of Times
Part 2: Wasn't That A Party
Part 3: The Boy From New York City
Part 4: The Voice
Part 5: Feels So Right
Part 6: Sausalito Summernight
Part 7: The Waiting
Part 8: All I Have To Do Is Dream
Part 9: Urgent
Part 10: The Theme From The Greatest American Hero
Part 11: Rock And Roll Dreams Come Through
Part 12: Life of Illusion
Part 13: America
Part 14: Deep Inside My Heart
Part 15: Mister Sandman
Part 16: Hard To Say
Part 17: Bette Davis Eyes
Part 18: Limelight
Part 19: Cool Love
Part 20: Don't Let Him Go
Part 21: Physical
Part 22: Hold On Tight
Part 23: Medley
Part 24: I Love You
Part 25: The Sweetest Thing (I've Ever Known)
Part 26: Everlasting Love
Part 27: It's My Turn
Part 28: I Love A Rainy Night
Part 29: Promises In The Dark (Beginning)
Part 30: Promises In The Dark (Middle)
Part 31: Promises In The Dark (Almost To The End)
Part 32: Promises In The Dark (The End)
Part 33: I Made It Through The Rain


Any feedback is very much appreciated ? I would love to hear from those of you who have been reading. Or if you just want to reminisce about some of your favorite music or memories from 1981, please feel free to share. Thanks!!


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After visiting the doctor and returning to his aunt?s house to change his clothes, Ben went back the Yates home. He spoke with Tug?s mother for a few minutes, and then walked upstairs and poked his head into his friend?s bedroom. Tug was reclining on top of his comforter, wearing nothing but a pair of his old sweatpants, and reading a Sports Illustrated magazine. His firm pecs, flat stomach, and well-muscled arms made him look like the picture of health, but the large bandage wrapped around the top of his head said otherwise.

?Hey there,? Ben said.

Tug looked up from the magazine and smiled. ?Ben!? He started to get up, but felt a little woozy and stopped just after sitting up and swinging his feet to the floor. He braced himself with his arms on the mattress.

Ben rushed to his side. ?Your mom said the painkiller did a number on you. Are you sure you?re OK??

?Yeah, yeah. The medicine just makes me a little woozy when I'm not laying down,? said Tug, as he returned to his original position while staring at Ben, who had changed into a yellow t-shirt and a pair of San Francisco Riding Gear painter pants. Both were older clothes, purchased before he had grown so large, that were skin-tight around his bulging muscles.

After making sure Tug, was okay, Ben sat down on the bed next to him, but he remained quiet.

Tug, sensing that his friend was uncomfortable, spoke first. ?I got your note. On the belt.? He lifted up his left arm, where the belt was still buckled, and pointed at it with his right index finger.

This time it was Ben?s turn to smile. ?Well, I wanted you to know that I was here. I didn?t want you to wake up and not know that I had waited.?

?Thank you. I did have a couple questions about last night.?

?Shoot.?

?First, are you OK?? asked Tug.

?Physically, I?m fine ? just some cuts on my hands.? He turned his palms toward Tug, showing him the blisters and scabs that had appeared.

?Good. My parents said you the doctor had checked you out, but I wanted to hear it straight from the horse?s mouth.?

?I?m all good,? said Ben.

?OK, second, why did you take me up to the bluff? Why not tell me how you felt on the porch??

Ben sighed. ?I don?t know. I guess I thought it would a grander way to let you know, out there with the moon and the stars and that great view of the sound. I even told you to bring the radio, ?cause I thought maybe I could sing a song.?

?You were going to sing to me??

?Well, sing along to a song. You know when we listened to American Top 40 last week, and Casey Kasem introduced the long-distance dedication. He said that pop songs are mostly about feelings that most of us share, and sometimes we use those songs to help express those emotions. I was hoping a love song might play, because it would help me tell you about how I felt. And if you didn't laugh at me, I thought I might sing along.?

Tug grinned at the thought, but then moved to a different question that he had wanted to ask since first waking. ?So what happened after I pulled you up from the cliff??

?When I charged up the hill, I knocked you over, and you fell back and hit your head on a rock. It was the scariest thing, Tug, because I thought you had died. I couldn?t get you to wake up, so I picked you up and brought you back here, then I??

?Thank you for carrying me,? interjected Tug.

?You?re welcome. Then I called the doctor and he came over really fast, and then your parents showed up, and they were so nice to me, even after I told them what happened and how it was all my fault.?

?It?s OK, Ben. Other than this bump, I?m all good, too. And as for my parents, well, my mother always said that me and Tim had the hardest heads. I guess she was right.?

Both boys laughed, but then neither was sure what to say next. A full thirty seconds went by before Ben resumed the conversation.

?Look, Tug, about what I said when we were out on the bluff, and what I wrote on the belt, I want you to read something, OK? Something that will help you to understand.?

?What is it??

Ben reached into his back pocket and pulled out a spiral bound book with a blue leather cover. ?It?s my journal from this summer.?

Tug took the book from his friend and set it on the bed.

Ben continued. ?Look, I just wanted you to know everything about me, with nothing more to hide. I mean, I don?t know how you feel about things, or feel about me, but it?s important that I lay everything out to you. I want to be an open book, literally, so you won't have to read between the lines anymore, OK??

?Thanks. I would have to say I?m a little confused,? answered Tug.

Ben nodded. ?Me, too, if it?s any consolation. But just read it, and I?ll come back later and promise to answer any other questions you have.?

?I do have one before you go,? replied Tug.

?Shoot.?

?Can you tell me about Kelly??

?Um, OK. I met Kelly back in grade school, and we?d been friends for a long time. We started??

?Ben,? said Tug, interrupting his friend for the second time in two minutes. ?Was Kelly a guy??

Ben sighed. ?Yes, Kelly was a guy, Tug. He was a great guy ? we were such great friends, and then one night it became something different, and better, at least as far I was concerned.?

?What did he look like??

Ben looked up and away from Tug as he spoke. ?He was big and tall, like us. Very muscular ? his arms were way, way bigger than mine. Red hair, green eyes, lots of freckles. And he had a huge smile. You know, when he smiled at me, it felt like the sun had just come out. And he was a little crazy sometimes - my life had been really regimented with lifting and sports and lifting and sports, and Kelly would have these moments of wild abandon that were both exhilarating and exhausting."

?Did you play sports together??

?We played one-on-one basketball together sometimes, but Kelly wasn?t much into team sports. He liked swimming and track and tennis ? and he did pretty well for a big guy. He even has the state record for the shot put.?

?Are you two still in touch?? asked Tug.

?No. We haven?t spoken much since we stopped?you know.?

?I?m sorry it didn?t work out.?

?Thanks, Tug. But not working out with Kelly allowed me to come here and find someone really special ? I mean, it was infatuation with Kelly, but so much more with you. There are thing I never really felt until I looked at you. So just read the book, and I?ll come back.?

?OK.? Tug smiled at his friend, and then picked the journal up from the bed.

?Oh, wait. I brought you something else, too.?

?A present? For me?? asked Tug with an exaggerated voice.

?Yep,? replied Ben. He went out of the bedroom and picked up something off the floor in the hallway, and then turned to face his friend. ?Tada!?

In Ben?s hands was the radio from the porch of his aunt?s house. The radio they had carried with them all summer. And the radio that had been with them during their adventure the night before.

Tug?s mouth dropped open. ?You didn?t go back on the bluff, did you??

Ben walked back to Tug?s bed. ?No, it tumbled over the cliff and the police inspecting the debris found it on the beach this morning. They saw my aunt?s name written on the back, so they dropped it by her house when I was there changing. And it still works!?

?You?re kidding??

?I?m not. Would you like me to turn it on??

Tug nodded. ?As long as it?s not ?Promises In The Dark.? It?ll be a while before I?m ready for that again.?

?You and me both,? agreed Ben. He turned on the radio and set in on Tug?s nightstand, then pointed at his journal. "For your eyes only, Mr. Bond."

Tug saluted and then smiled at his friend. ?Yes, sir! I'll read it right now, sir.?

?Good boy,? replied Ben. He slowly crossed the room, took one last look at Tug, and silently exited.

[Padraig]

The lovely Ms. Easton:

For Your Eyes Only

[redroger11]

Doing great; Keep Writing.

redroger11

[michaelv2]

Great to see you back at it. I really love the interplay between these two. Speaking of Bond... James Bond, my favorite Bond movie was The Spy Who Loved Me (love Carly Simon) - but it's a great tie in to quote the 1981 Bond movie.

[Padraig]

Michael, I also love "The Spy Who Loved Me," especially the title song by Carly Simon. It's one of my favorite popcorn flicks that I can watch over and over again.

Maybe I'll have to write something else set in 1977. :-)

And I'm sorry for the delay this last week, but I ended up taking on a huge project at work that took up all of my spare time. One more chapter to go tonight, and then just a few more after that coming in the next week.

[Padraig]

I just thought I would add one other note about this chapter ? the part where Ben references Casey Kasem is an actual line that Casey used while discussing the long-distance dedications on his American Top 40 countdown from August 15, 1981 (I was lucky enough to hear a re-broadcast a few weeks ago on XM).

I loved what he said so much that I really wanted to include it, because I honestly believe that it's true ? songs can help us to express how we feel because they are written about emotions that we all share.

Even for me, the tale of Tug and Ben never really took shape until I figured out that if I based the chapters on songs from the era, it would help me to pour my feelings into the characters. I listened to the tunes over and over as I wrote, sometimes making me happy and sometimes making me bawl (you should see the goosebumps I get when listen to 'Promises In The Dark').

And don't even try to watch a musical with me, because I get way, way, way too caught up in the songs ? I simply cannot stop myself from singing along, to the point of annoyance. They're just too important to ignore. :-)

Anyway, I just wanted to share a little bit more of the background of why I wrote this series. Just a few more chapters left...

[michaelv2]

Yea, something about that submarine Lotus and Barbara Bach that I can watch over and over again. The Spy Who Loved Me opened on 7/7/77, so kinda cool to find your story finishing up on or around 9/9/09. Your sentiment about the power of the popular song is very true. Today I was listening to "The Mountain", which always has a nice mix, and some of the songs from the 80's can really take me back to the moment. Musicals... you don't ever want to be around me during The Sound of Music - ruin every shred of butch cred I ever had... :-)

[Padraig]

It's funny you should mention the Sound of Music, as it also inspired part of the story (and for the record, I just watched it again last weekend, and yes, I love it, too). The part I'm referring to is toward the middle of the movie, when Maria has returned to the convent and is confronted by the Reverend Mother.


RM: Sit down, Maria. Tell me what happened.

M: I was frightened.

RM: Frightened? Were they unkind to you.

M: Oh, no! No, I was confused. I felt...I've never felt that way before. I couldn't stay. I knew that here I'd be away from it. I'd be safe.

RM: Maria, our abbey is not to be used as an escape. What is it you can't face?

M: I can't face him again.

RM: Him? Captain von Trapp? Are you in love with him?

M: I don't know! I don't know. I...The baroness said I was. She said that he was in love with me. But I didn't want to believe it. There were times we looked at each other. I could hardly breathe.

RM: Did you let him see your feelings?

M: I don't know. That's what's torturing me. I was on God's errand. To have asked for his love would have been wrong. I just couldn't stay. I'm ready at this moment to take my vows. Please help me.

RM: Maria. The love of a man and a woman is holy. You have a great capacity to love. You must find out how God wants you to spend your love.

M: But I pledged my life to God. I pledged my life to his service.

RM: My daughter, if you love this man, it doesn't mean you love God less. No. You must find out. You must go back.

M: You can't ask me to do that. Please let me stay. I beg...

RM: Maria. These walls were not built to shut out problems. You have to face them. You have to live the life you were born to live.


I kept this passage in mind as I was writing the character of Tug ? he has a great capacity to love, and he must find out how to spend his love. But like Maria, he's frightened of what it all means, and being scared may prevent him from living the life he was born to live.

Maybe a few times singing "Climb Every Mountain" would help his confidence? :-)

[Padraig]

I'll be posting another chapter this afternoon (which will make four in two days), so I'm bumping this one up so that regular readers won't miss any of the series.

Thanks!!