Marco_ukmus BB Progress Log

[Marco_ukmus]

Thanks Ether! No i don't take it personally at all. The way i see it is, if you had not understood what i was trying to express/explain, the chances are a lot of others whom read this thread did not, thus you gave me the chance to clear things up.

Originally Posted by Marco_ukmus

im taking one 20mg pill with 700mg of roids a week

Opp's, small correction required here, its 20mg per day of Nolvadex, hence 140mg/week against 700mg of roids.

Marc

[ottomun6]

Originally Posted by Marco_ukmus

Thats probably the most poignent thing here, its not a year and half, I have only been lifting since late september 2004. so coming up to 11 months i guess, not a year and a half. So yeah, 30lbs in just under 11 months.

11 months!! Holy crap! I guess I must have misread the date. They say that many guys can expect to pack on a good 10-20 lbs of muscle in the first year, but you must be pre-wired to get huge. I know you don't want to talk about your father, (maybe I'll just refer to him Sumku- that's Ukmus spelled backwards) but does this come from his side of the family?

Originally Posted by Marco_ukmus

Oh is that what you were referring to, I was not sure. Actually, I did respond to it, see post 304 above and scroll down to your alias under "post responses", you'll find it there. You should know me by now, if anyone makes the time to add a comment to this thread, I will return with a personal reply, although, not always timely, granted. Anyway, result was, Yes, i did keep the clothes used in the earlier pics, just have problems getting in to them now lol.

Ok, either I am losing it or my computer is in even worse shape than I thought.
...when I look at post 304, all I see is the quoted sections I don't see any responses in the whole post. That's why I was joking about needing a pencil (I thought maybe you had submitted the post and slipped up before putting your replies down.
Hmm..., can anyone else see the responses for #304?
P.S. Marco, I'm glad you held onto those clothes, it will be a hoot a little later down the road! Oh yeah, if you can- also hold onto a dress shirt it will be a real sight to see you with buttons that can't reach across your chest!

[muscle_mastah]

Originally Posted by ottomun6

Ok, either I am losing it or my computer is in even worse shape than I thought.
...when I look at post 304, all I see is the quoted sections I don't see any responses in the whole post. That's why I was joking about needing a pencil (I thought maybe you had submitted the post and slipped up before putting your replies down.
Hmm..., can anyone else see the responses for #304?

Must be the dreaded colours again with a different skin. Using the blue skin I can see the reply clearly however, they have yellowish colour which I suspect doesn't show up at all with the other skin here. It's really unfortunate, we can't go back in a edit our posts so we can make changes to colours when we've posted it in wrong or even correct some horrible spelling mistakes we occasionally make.

[glammaman2000]

3wks.?I did 2 6wk.cycles&never had a hint!Of course,I wasn't taking the laundry-list of stuff you are.(p.s.,if you ever hear of an up&coming bodybuilder having"shoulder surgery";he's having the bitch-tits removed)For some of us,having the nerves in our nipples disconnected would take a lot of the fun out of life.Dream your dream,baby;but when you see a pro bodybuilder,you're seeing:A)someone with exceptional genetic gifts,which you have(balance,muscle shape)If you ever wanted to compete,the height could become an issue;but...B)Someone with exceptional DRIVE(which you clearly have)C)Someone with an abnormal tolerance for toxic drugs.I've had friends who were on a constant low-dose of 'roids;365 days per yr.Great bodies.One took to it like a duck to water.The other only had grainy skin&was always crabby(which would ruin it for me;right there)In both cases,their doctors eventually said;"You can't do this anymore!"(After about 10 yrs.)Take care.g.

[glammaman2000]

You're taking equine'roids?Please post when someone notices you're starting to SMELL like a horse.It'll happen.(Steroids were originally used to treat racehorses;later to treat muscle-wasting in Auschwitz victims.As far as I know;the only legal use for'roids in the U.S.is to correct atrophy in the elderly)

[Marco_ukmus]

Hi Fellow Muscle Lovers! (Getting bored of starting my posts with ?Hi? now)

Post Responses

Originally Posted by ottomun6

11 months!! Holy crap! I guess I must have misread the date. They say that many guys can expect to pack on a good 10-20 lbs of muscle in the first year, but you must be pre-wired to get huge.

Hehe, I would sure like to think I have some how been ?pre-wired? as you put it to become a muscle monster.

Originally Posted by ottomun6

I know you don't want to talk about your father, (maybe I'll just refer to him Sumku- that's Ukmus spelled backwards) but does this come from his side of the family?

Where the drive comes from...
To be honest, I don?t know my father at all. My father was a wife abuser and tormented our family for years and years and was hardly ever at home, but when he was, we knew about it!. My mother of course was shy and was bullied at school and at home. Guess she kind of got with him for stability at a young age (twenty something) because of the abuse at her home and school etc. When he started to abuse her, because she was always told that she was a bit of dirt and abused at school and at home, she did not know any different and had no idea that it was wrong. After she slowly started speaking to people and neighbours and people said odd comments, she realised this is not how it should be and my mother wanted to take us away from my father, but did not have a job since my father knew that her not having a job would force us to do as he said and thus she had no way of supporting us alone. Anyway, my father, a land scape gardener, started to develop schizophrenia and got away with EVERYTHING because of his illness. In the doctors mind, he was not responsible for his actions as a result of it. Anyway, so at the age of 12, it got so bad, and he got so violent that even the local police were scared of him. We took a court injunction against him so that he would not come near us, again a complete waste of time, since he was ?apparently? not responsible for his actions. The only person he cared about was himself. So, no local courts would touch this issue since it was far too complex what with the mental aspect, so we had to go to the high court in London to get it resolved. There was no support for us at the time, it felt like no one gave a shit, but yet, supported my father all the way so he could continue to abuse us. Everyone believed his lies. A lot of neighbours and family turned against us, the better ones decided not to get involved and the odd one or two decided to hear both sides of the story. Even though we did get the court injunction and access denied for him to see us, it meant nothing. The entire legal is fine except if the person whom is causing it has a mental problem, then, so it would appear, there?s nothing one can do. (good tip for anyone who wants to torment your family for years, just become mental, everyone will back you up). For years he came round our house at night, moved objects, vandalised the property, sent dirty letters around the home and in the garden to torment us, and to kind of say, I?m still here, still able to torment you, still in control. The police could not do a thing. My mother a cat lover, lost one of her cats to him, since he killed it out right. He turned all our neighbours and friends against us with his manipulative lives, he even told her many years ago, that it may be the last time she saw my bother and I. He was of course finally looked up in a secure mental hospital, although, it took some 8 padded and geared up riot police and a few white coat doctors to remove him. He was not kept for long due to our ridiculous ?care in the community policy?. Over here, our prisons and hospitals are all full up so we have a ?care in the community? policy whereby they release mental and even dangerous people back in the community only with a social worker to check up on them, hence he could carry on his evil ways.
Getting the divorce was a night mare. My brother and I was used like pawns between all the disputes. We both know he does not love us, just made everything as difficult as possible for us? a complete control freak! Anyway, The same is true with me, I like her, suffer from dyslexia, although very mild, and was told from a young age that I?d never amount to anything. I too was bullied at school as well as at home. I guess, something changed in me and wanted to prove EVERYONE wrong, that someone from a broken family, from a poor background can indeed be very successful. Like I say, I have two degrees, BSc Computing and MSc Internet Computing from a red brick and fairly prestigious University here in the UK. I also have two years electronic engineering behind me. So how said dyslexics cannot be successful, well, Albert Einstein himself was dyslexic. Anyway, I have also designed many systems to date, both hardware, software and firmware related and have designed systems for big companies with highlights such as Merck, ali Lilly (pharmaceutical companies) designing precision particle data acquisition software developed in assembler 8086). I also play three instruments namely Piano, drum kit and Caribbean steel drums (bass, Chellos, guitars, double seconds and tenors for those in the know), and have played in two bands at high school with high lights at the Royal Albert Hall in London. So I guess somehow from a shy, geeky looser with no confidence what so ever, I found my way to what I am now, and there?s no looking back. I?m not done yet, I want to own my own business one day, go around the world again and get as big as possible and just generally be the best I can be, life is too short to allow people from the past to put you down. Obviously I have a ton more achievements but I wont bore you with the details.

Today of course, I?m a MUCH stronger person, in fact, probably a completely different person, almost to the point now where some call me hash since I protect my emotions a lot. I won?t allow ANYONE regardless of status or position to put me down nor take advantage of me. So my immense drive to be successful comes from the past. I want to be confident and successful and at the humble age of 24, I think I?m getting there. My mother on the other hand, although a lot better now, still suffers from depression even today and a lack of confidence. I guess she hid a lot of the activity and violence from us so we would not get so hurt. That?s why I guess I?m really close to her, because she needs me, and looked after me all those years whilst my father was abusing her and us and off his head with his mental ways. And to think my mother came close to killing him! If only. I can assure you all, there?s only so much emotional crap one can take before you have to, do something to stop it, in this case, killing him. Although, in hindsight, thank god she did not. Otherwise, she, although traumatised by the whole thing, would of course be the one that would end up in prison, since, in the eyes of the law, he is not responsible for his actions, but she would be, then who would have looked after my brother and I all those years ago. What made the whole thing worse was that all my fathers legal fees were paid by the state, and did not have to pay ANY child benefit because he was deemed not responsible for his actions and lied about all the jobs he had going, whilst, my mother, supporting two kids on an extremely low salary had to pay for EVERYTHING. Even today, we still have enormous dept from the solicitor fees. Obviously there is a HELL of a lot more to this story, but a) you would not be interested, like, everyone has a story to tell, and b) it?s still kind of difficult to talk about. But I guess I have decided to write this summarised version of the past since I?m sure there must be people reading this that have similar stories, and I want to re-assure those people that, you can make it through, and you will come out stronger and can still be everything you want to be. Just don?t allow the past to ruin the future, you, like me, have everything to live for and WILL succeed!

Originally Posted by ottomun6

Ok, either I am losing it or my computer is in even worse shape than I thought.

Yeah, like muscle_mastah said, it?s because it was in a light colour, and if your using a different skin then you might not be able to see it. I would suggest using your cursor to highlight the text, this will invert the colour and thus should become visible. Its not ideal, but, like you guys say, we?ve lost the edit feature, even if it was only for 10 minutes it was better than not having it at all.

Originally Posted by ottomun6

P.S. Marco, I'm glad you held onto those clothes, it will be a hoot a little later down the road! Oh yeah, if you can- also hold onto a dress shirt it will be a real sight to see you with buttons that can't reach across your chest!

Hehe, yeah, my chest will have to expand to contain my growing desire to be massive and my growing personality ;0)

Originally Posted by glammaman2000

3wks.?I did 2 6wk.cycles&never had a hint!Of course,I wasn't taking the laundry-list of stuff you are.(p.s.,if you ever hear of an up&coming bodybuilder having"shoulder surgery";he's having the bitch-tits removed)

Well, that?s why I?m taking Novadex, it should solve the problem so I don?t have to have any surgery. It?s receding very well at the moment.

Originally Posted by glammaman2000

For some of us, having the nerves in our nipples disconnected would take a lot of the fun out of life.

Yeah, I think a lot of gay guys seem to like their nipples being touched?!

Originally Posted by glammaman2000

Dream your dream, baby; but when you see a pro bodybuilder, you're seeing: A)someone with exceptional genetic gifts, which you have (balance,muscle shape)

Thanks mate!

Originally Posted by glammaman2000

If you ever wanted to compete, the height could become an issue;

I don?t think it will be too much of a problem. The average competing BB?er appears to be a short ass like me, I think the average is 5?8 ish.

Originally Posted by glammaman2000

but...B)Someone with exceptional DRIVE(which you clearly have)

Well, now you know in a small way where that drive comes from. I?m not saying you have to have something like that happen in order to force one to have this drive, but I guess, for me it works. And, just because you guys know a bit about my past, please DON?T treat me any differently. In real life, I never talk about it since, what?s the point! It does not achieve anything, besides people don?t want to know. Like I say, I write it here because it gives you an idea where that drive comes from and at the same time re-assures people going through the same thing that read this that you can still have everything you ever wanted. I have moved on. So you see, that?s why I did not have a chance to discover who I really am around my teens. Like I say, now?s the time to work it all out.

Originally Posted by glammaman2000

C)Someone with an abnormal tolerance for toxic drugs. I've had friends who were on a constant low-dose of 'roids;365 days per yr. Great bodies. One took to it like a duck to water.The other only had grainy skin&was always crabby(which would ruin it for me;right there)In both cases,their doctors eventually said;"You can't do this anymore!"(After about 10 yrs.)Take care.g.

Yeah I?ve heard of people roiding all year round, just think about their internal organs, they must be shit! I?m not going to do that I promise. I f anything, it will be on and off for years to come with ample time to allow the body to recover before starting again. I think, although risky, roiding is ok, you just have to be sensible and not get obsessed about it. I?m obsessed about growing don?t get me wrong, but I?m not about to inject tons of roids into my ass.

Originally Posted by glammaman2000

p.s.s.. You're taking equine'roids?Please post when someone notices you're starting to SMELL like a horse.It'll happen.(Steroids were originally used to treat racehorses;later to treat muscle-wasting in Auschwitz victims.As far as I know;the only legal use for'roids in the U.S.is to correct atrophy in the elderly)

Yeah, all steroids were originally designed for medical use, to help resolve some deficiency and cure people. Yes, I?m now taking equipoise which, as you rightly say is a vegetarian steroid used on horses and dogs etc. just hope I don?t start MOOWWWW, NNNEEE HAAA, you know? ;0) Mind you, horses do have very large cocks, so that would not be too bad? humm an 18? cock, could be interesting

Take care all!

Marc

[Marco_ukmus]

Originally Posted by Marco_ukmus

... is a vegetarian steroid ...

LoL! Yeah apparently they now do steroids for vegetarians as well! Amazing Obviously i meant veterinary steroid.

gee i wish we have that 10 minute edit feature back...

Marc

[hulkmuscle]

That last one gave me a good chuckle. Good way to start the morning!

[jdhdawg]

Hey, Marco!

Thanks for the post today. Knowing this background definitely fills in some of the blanks in my mind explaining your determination and your deep love for your mother. Although you know we all admire your muscle dedication, the history that you're overcoming makes the feat all the more meaningful. I hope your mother is able to travel to Ozzie-land this winter but if not, perhaps you can manage a trip to the Continent with her?

Keep pumping....we're anxious to see the 6-week pictures!

[ethernet_jock]

As you so astutely remarked.... we all have our stories.

Thank you for your boldness... as I believe you know... I can identify with much of your experiences inside of my own unique blend. Scholarly achievements are, of course, meaningless to me... but as they are important to you and represent countless YEARS of dedication and hard work... I think that's utterly fantastic.

I hope you find the fulfillment you seek. I didn't find mine until I found love and children.

Good luck! Thanks for sharing!

-Chris

[ottomun6]

I'm still sitting here with my jaw on the floor. H-o-l-y Shit!! I never saw that coming. Marco, I said it before and I'll say it again you are one of the good ones! I remember you kidding about it being "sad" that you are close to your mother. Let's face it, in your own heart, you hold her in very high esteem for getting you and your brother as far as she could.
I know she dosen't know about our little group here, but if it should come up, please tell her she has made at least one great accomplishment, Marco uk BB- a very well rounded muscleman/businessman/engineer with unlimited potential (Fuck!- and I was just kidding about the Primeminister/President thing!... just remember, keep the taxes down! )
I'm thinking I need to go out and stop world hunger just to keep up!
Marco, you and a (few others here) are really using your life force to drive a positive energy- and it will undoubtably drive others along in a positive direction.
That's it, I'm going to wash the dishes and read a book tonight!

[glammaman2000]

...until they start comparing notes with others&find out;"Gee,I got off easy!"Ether bared his soul in an earlier thread;please check it out.People CAN overcome;as your Mother has done!She's a hero&deserves your respect,admiration&love.Sorry to hear about your dad.I had a manic-depressive roommate for a few yrs.&I have a DEAR nephew who was diagnosed paranoid-schzophrenic in his 20's.People who have never been around psychotics have NO IDEA what it's like.It's not for amateurs!&to have to deal with it as a child is sad.NY laws are as loopy as the ones in UK.Nuts have to be an ACTIVE danger to themselves or others to be committed against their will.That means AFTER a murder or suicide attempt.&the only hope is a lifetime on EXTREME medication;which makes them feel lousy,so they don't want to take it.....ONWARDS!...You don't have to save the world;your mother already did.You've got a fukkin'FAN-BASE,kiddo;so be responsible!Any criticism comes from love.You're an inspiration.g.

[jco2007]

So much wisdom, so many trials, so many inspirational beings, thank you all.

Anyone who doesn't check this thread is missing out on alot of not just useful info and musclebuilding advice but lessons for life in general.

I can only give a humble thanks to all concerned.

Most of all thank you Marco, for being the focal point for the discussion of these thoughts (could this be indicative for future success? Only time will tell). No one can accuse you of being a one-dimensional character.

Good on you!!

[Marco_ukmus]

Wow, what a lot of responses, you know what this means don't you... a long reply post... sorry in advance

Post Responses

Originally Posted by jdhdawg

the history that you're overcoming makes the feat all the more meaningful.

To be honest, i think im basically over it. Hell, it in the main stopped 12-13 years ago, that is, once he left/was taken away. But life goes on.

Originally Posted by jdhdawg

I hope your mother is able to travel to Ozzie-land this winter but if not, perhaps you can manage a trip to the Continent with her?

At the moment the doctors are not fully sure why she's in pain a lot of the time, so if they can correct it before 26th November or at the very least, make it less painful, then there is a slim chance we can go ahead as planned. She sure could do with the holiday. But if we were to leave knowing she had all these problems, i dont think we'd get medical insurance for her. Oh well, we'll see.

Originally Posted by jdhdawg

Keep pumping....we're anxious to see the 6-week pictures!

Yeah, I know you are, I have only just started the second week of the new roid plan, so its wayyyyyy to early to take any pics, although having said that, my shape is looking a lot better, and im more vascular and musclely than before.

Originally Posted by ethernet_jock

As you so astutely remarked.... we all have our stories.

Thank you for your boldness... as I believe you know... I can identify with much of your experiences inside of my own unique blend.

I knew there would be people with simular stories. One never knows what happens behind closed doors... Well, at least, those on the out side.

Originally Posted by ethernet_jock

Scholarly achievements are, of course, meaningless to me... but as they are important to you and represent countless YEARS of dedication and hard work... I think that's utterly fantastic.

Well, managing to get a 1st in my masters is a kinda of like putting two fingers up to all those people that said i'd never be able to do it because of my dyslexia. Anyone with a slight knowledge of dyslexia will know that being dyslexic does not mean your thick, it means your brain is wired differently. It means that you probably going to be better at maths, engineering and spacial and logical thinking than the average joe. Of course, the reason is maths are based on symbols, its all logical, english however is NOT logical and hence why dyslexic's fail so well at grammer and spelling. Anyway, so thats what drove me to do it. To show that i could.

Originally Posted by ethernet_jock

I hope you find the fulfillment you seek. I didn't find mine until I found love and children.

In many ways, I am already content with my life as it is now. Like i say, everything is on track; my career is off to a good start, im earning a just above average graduate salary on my first major assignment, I have a good education behind me now, i'm growing very well and getting that huge physique i always wanted, I have a great circle of frends, both locally and in london (muscle mates), so life is good right now. Next thing i guess would be to find a partner, but i'm still confused on that front as you all know.

Originally Posted by ottomun6

I'm still sitting here with my jaw on the floor. H-o-l-y Shit!! I never saw that coming.

Like i say, one never knows what happens behind closed doors. On your very street, there is likely to be a whole cocktail of different people doing different things, of course theres your average family that everything is swimming along, you know, good looking kids, great future ahead of them, parents have good careers and have everything but maybe arn't that close as a family, a lack of love and respect and kids dont have ambition or drive, then theres another family, parents having trouble making ends meat, always arguing, kids miss out on school trips and only have a few toys and friends because they can't keep up with the jones's, but, they are at least a loving family, then there's your other types, the family with the wife abuser, or acholic/drug addicted parents, who are so off the wall, they could not give a shit about their kids, and frankly were only there because the comdom failed.
Life is a complete cocktail of different kinds of people. We can't choose where we are born or what family we are born into. We just have to make do with the life that we have been given. One can't change the past, but one CAN model and mold the future.

Originally Posted by ottomun6

I remember you kidding about it being "sad" that you are close to your mother. Let's face it, in your own heart, you hold her in very high esteem for getting you and your brother as far as she could.

Well, i say it's sad because the average guy reading this would, i'm sure think that. You know, like, oh your a mummy's boy. Well, actually, far from it. Although I do help my mother a hell of a lot, i'm emencly independent and socialise a lot.

Originally Posted by ottomun6

I know she dosen't know about our little group here, but if it should come up, please tell her she has made at least one great accomplishment, Marco uk BB- a very well rounded muscleman/businessman/engineer with unlimited potential (Fuck!- and I was just kidding about the Primeminister/President thing!... just remember, keep the taxes down! )

Ah, your so kind! Thanks! Well, if it ever does (god forbid) then I will. You must understand, thats where the "Life is what you make of it..." (used on my signature) comes from. All of us have had difficult times, and will have more difficult times ahead of us, but its how you deal with it that will enevitably determine your future. Let's face it, people are crul, theres no doubting that, this is not a perfect world. But, for those of us that have no choice but to go through these otherwise unnecessary hurdles, once past the depression and grief, you become a stronger person spiritually.

I was thinking about the bullying at school the other day, and kinda came to the conclusion that in many ways I think i kind of asked to bullied as much as i was. Lets think about this, I was already depressed at home with all the crap happening, therefore i was like a weak target. Bullies of course have this like radar thing. If your a weak target and not condifent, then you are likely to be bullied. Of course, theres no condoling what the bullies did, they had no idea what i was going through, and there would have been no point telling them or trying to explain since they did not give a shit. In many way's I feel sorry for them as well, since usually bullies bully for a reason, like their parents did not give a shit about them and thus the bullies bullied to get any form of attension. The trouble is, bullies have no idea the life long impact they have on their victims, not that they care, but in my case, i did for a time become suicidal (around 11-12) But, one must also remember that bullying, as sad as it is, is a factor of life. Bullying continues in one form or another all your life, like in the work place. I had to mature very very quickly in order to deal with the situation in my childhood. In many ways, that meant i lost a lot of child hood years that would otherwise be spent having fun with no worries or concerns. But in hindsight, having come out the other end, all of this has shaped me to be the kind loving guy i am today, with emense drive and ambision to succeed. I have a hell of a lot of confidence today and it continues to grow as i do. So i guess thats why im an optimist, because there is ALWAYS something good that can be found from bad horrific experiences.

So, even if your from a poor background, or have been bullied, put down all your life, or experinced something simular to my past, you can still be everything you want to be. You can still have a great career, family, big house, fancy car, great holidays, everything! Just believe in yourself even if others don't, despite the impact of other people, as hard as it maybe, its down to you... "Life is what you make of it..."

Originally Posted by ottomun6

I'm thinking I need to go out and stop world hunger just to keep up!

Like i say, i never asked to have this type of home life, it's just the situation i was born into. I would not wish this experience on anyone. Because its one of those types of experiences that can produce either victims that sink, or swim. I guess i decided to swim, but that was only after i very never sank.
Unfortunately, in many cases, if an abusing situation like this is not resovled, it can lead to the children thinking that this is acceptable behaviour, that its perfectly ok to inflict pain and suffering on their families when they grow up. It can indeed be a perpetuating cycle if not delt with. My mother for years and years made exuses as to why my father abused her, and us, excuses as to why she had loads of bruses on her all the time (in retrospect, noone can be that clumsy). Excuses like saying it was because she did something bad in a soft voice as tears cascaded over here soft cheaks. In a way, one could say she was infact approving his behaviour by lieing for him and covering it up and not speaking up, when all she was trying to do was protect my brother and i from the truth. But, when your really depressed and still love the one that is causing all this on you, and you think its you, not him thats the problem, you find it hard to speak up and get help. Of course there came a point whereby she could no longer carry on making excuses for his behaviour and hiding it from us, so decided to bring it all out in the open to my brother and i, even if we were arguably far too young to take it on board (11-12). But by doing so, she has shown us that this behaviour is not acceptable and that people should treat each other with love and respect. I'm now a VERY strong believer in the moto, "treat others how you would wish to be treated", even if a hell of a lot other people dont think that way. Don't get me wrong though, like i say, I protect my feelings very well, and am perfectly able to take care of myself in any situation. It's funny though, you'd think it would be obvious to anyone that hurting someone else is wrong, but if your very own father does it when your a child, because you love and respect him, its very easy to just accept it and take everything he does as an example for how you should behave. Needless to say, I have never bullied anyone.

Originally Posted by ottomun6

Marco, you and a (few others here) are really using your life force to drive a positive energy- and it will undoubtably drive others along in a positive direction.

Thanks ottomun6! I sure do believe that my past expiences have given me the confidence and power to achieve anything i set my mind to. I WILL become that massive muscle monster... just you watch!

Originally Posted by glammaman2000

Everybody thinks their parents are the worst,...

...until they start comparing notes with others&find out;"Gee,I got off easy!"Ether bared his soul in an earlier thread;please check it out.

I know a few things that happend to Chris (Ether) but i don't think i have seen that thread, which one is it?

Originally Posted by glammaman2000

People CAN overcome;as your Mother has done!She's a hero&deserves your respect,admiration&love.

Trust me, in my life, she is my hero. Like i say, she has always been there for me and i love her to bits. So this world trip is a huge thankyou from me to her for everything shes done for me.

Originally Posted by glammaman2000

Sorry to hear about your dad.I had a manic-depressive roommate for a few yrs.&I have a DEAR nephew who was diagnosed paranoid-schzophrenic in his 20's.People who have never been around psychotics have NO IDEA what it's like.It's not for amateurs!&to have to deal with it as a child is sad.

Your right, most people will have no idea of the emotional and psychological impact living with one has on you.
In many ways, I do actually feel sorry for my dad. In part he was an evil bastard, and in part, i guess it must have been exaserbated by his illness. It's somewhat disconserting as a child when your dad says the walls are talking to him. Perhaps one day i'll meet him again, maybe it will just be his funeral. I honestly don't know how i'd react if i met him again today, with so much hate for what he did, although im not a violent person in the slightest, I could easily find the desire to hurt him real bad, and with extra muscle, and being that im likely to be bigger than he is already, i don't think he'd stand a chance. But, i would like to think im stronger than that, that is, that i would not hurt him at all. despite everything, if i hurt him, that makes me in a small way as bad as he is. But, we all like the idea of revenge at least for a moment.

In many ways it also explains why my faith in the church fell to bits. The church of cause accepts everyone regardless of what you have done or your background (its biggest flaw). My father exploited this, manipulating church goers to turn against us with his lies. Hence, I guess thats why I stopped going to church even after confirmation, and frankly dont have much faith in the entire thing anymore. Although, I do, still believe in the many values and teachings of the bible.

Originally Posted by glammaman2000

NY laws are as loopy as the ones in UK.Nuts have to be an ACTIVE danger to themselves or others to be committed against their will.That means AFTER a murder or suicide attempt.&the only hope is a lifetime on EXTREME medication;which makes them feel lousy,so they don't want to take it......

Yeah, its crazy that they have to wait until someone dies before they are able to lock them up. But then again, if we locked people up just because we think they are going to do something, or without substantial evidence, then our prisons and mental hospitals would be saturated (they are already). And often, with mental people like my father, there is never substantial evidence, as they are very clever and very manipulative.

Originally Posted by glammaman2000

ONWARDS!...You don't have to save the world;your mother already did.You've got a fukkin'FAN-BASE,kiddo;so be responsible!Any criticism comes from love.You're an inspiration.g.

Thanks G! I know i don't have to save the world, but in my own mind, its kinda like i still think have to go on proving myself, hence the drive. Besides, I wanna be successful so having the drive helps.

I have no idea how this fan base came about. I only started this thread just over 10 ish months ago! Like i say, I'm just so taken back by how supportive and how involved you guys are.

Originally Posted by jco2007

Anyone who doesn't check this thread is missing out on alot of not just useful info and musclebuilding advice but lessons for life in general.

I'm glad you all find this thread an interesting read. Bear in mind that, i've only just started, there's a lot more muscle experiences and advice/info on the way as i progress further and further down the body building road, growing as i venture on. This thread has at times gone off on a tangent, like now, but being an exceptionally open person (apart from identity details), I have always allowed it since it always brings out relevant and interesting discussions and eventually comes back to the core foundation of which this thread is based on, that of muscle.

Originally Posted by jco2007

Most of all thank you Marco, for being the focal point for the discussion of these thoughts (could this be indicative for future success? Only time will tell).

No one can accuse you of being a one-dimensional character.

Thanks jco! I was extremely reluctant to talk about the past, as i always am. Like i say, i don't want ANY sympathy and i really don't think it achieves that much by talking about it, besides, poeple don't wanna know. Even though my past may appear severe to some, in many ways its not as bad as it could have been. My mother could have ended up laying flowers every week on her sons graves or countless other scenarios. Someone else out there has always had it worse off than you. One just has to move on and accept the surcomstances we find our selves in, and make the very best of any situations that arise. Sticking together, being open about our feelings, and just generally being there for each other is what got us through.

I sure would like to believe that i'll carry on being successful and will achieve everything i want to in life. Having events like this happen to you makes one appreciate what you have going for you. For a lot of people, often they never discover that until its gone.

Thanks to you all for your comments... The moto of this story is, "one can achieve anything if you put your mind to it..." and "Life is what you make of it"...

Quick Muscle Building Update
Ok, just thought i'd give you a really quick update on how im progressing. Today i started week two of the new roiding plan. I am beginning to feel really different. The muscles feel a lot harder, im a lot more vascular and i measureed various parts this morning (could not resist) and things are already a lot bigger! Thought my t-shirts felt somewhat tighter. My over all shape is improving nicely and as you know from before, my strength is going and up and up. I'm now very used to injecting myself and can honestly say im over my fear of needles. So, apparently i'm told that week 3-4 of the roids is where the real size kicks in, so i'll enjoy reporting about that as it happens.

Pictures will be taken in 3 weeks time with a full update, measurments and figures as always.

Side effects
Right, the early sign of gyno are now receding very well as is the acne on the back. Also i have noticed that my cheaks have become a little fatter, I think this is due to a small bit of water retention, but this should go down later as i come off the stuff i think.

Muscle Experiences continue...
Yesturday, I went into my local DIY store where i used to work a long time ago as a supervisor. Obviously a lot of the staff had changed naturally, since retail does have a high turn over of staff, but quite a few people i worked with ages ago were still there. Anyway, I was cmae up to the information service desk and spoke to my old boss whom was on the desk. They had seen me coming, and said after the usual hellos, "you've put on weight"... "have you been weight lifting?", I siad yeah, just a bit, glad you noticed". As we carried on talking about idle things, she kept looking me up and down, side to side, felt great!

Ok, another one here, was at the gym the other day in the changing room. I was pumped after a workout with my shirt off and wearing only boxer shorts. A guy i knew looked at me up and down and said "wow, your muscular", i said "yeah, I've been bulking for just over 10 months", he said "I been going to the gym 4 years and look at me", he was taller, a very thin frame. I said "yeah well you can achieve it if you really want it." he training to be in the marines anyway so he needs to have good stamina, not muscle bulk. He said he only wants a bit of bulk, not as much as what i am going for. Still, it was great him eye'ing my body up. He is of course, completely straight.

An Ironic reverse of roles
Ok, if any of you are a younger brother whom wants to get big, are bigger or wanna get bigger than your borther, your going to love this one; On Monday I went with my mother and brother shopping in Mark's and Spencers for odd things. Anyway, I need a new suit now since my old one simply wont accommodate by shoulders and chest any longer. Anyway, knowing that im a 43" chest now, we start looking through, find a few 40 inch jackets that i like. I tried them on, the 40's are ok, very snug, and look good although if i flex its not good. Anyway, my mother quite rightly said "its not going to last long the rate your growing" which is true, but then she came up with this great idea which my brother was happy with, that of allowing me to use it until it no longer fitted and then passing down to my older brother to wear once i can no longer fit in it. lol! for years and years i've had the hand me downs, from now on, i'm the one getting my own back lol! so funny! The best fit was 42" jacket since it had room to move but it looked way to baggy on my brother lol. He said he only wanted to do it if i got trousers too, I said ok, i need a 30", he said no, if your not going for a 34" waist then i'm not doing it. Needless to say, my brother (25 5'8) erm, is slightly pregnant if you know what i mean. He eats shit! so what does he expect. Anyway, so obviously, I dont think my waist is going to increase that much more, but obiously my chest shoulders and arms are likely to explode over the next year or so. Anyway, despite the fact that i do need a new suit, we left it that day. Thought i'd just tell you anyway, it was such and ego boost! since my brother (38" chest) has always been bigger than me. NOT ANYMORE! I already have a bigger chest, larger shoulders, and bigger arms than him. I've even had one guy at the office ask if played rugby lol!

Clubbing this weekend
Right, i should not really be going out since im bulking but Mr P has invited me to goto Orange another huge night club in London this weekend. There's going to be a lot of muscle there so i guess i oughta go (I know i'll love it), so that should be a laugh! Never been to this club before. Don't worry, i'm not going to drinnk a thing. Went tot he pub the other day with one of my army mates and even though every one was like, "drink go on... just the one", I stood my ground and thought of the bigger picture... the bigger me and just had lemonade instead. So be ono the soft drinks again this weekend.

End of Post
Just to end on a good note, and to show you the confident socialite that i have become, and since some of you are in dia need of some pics, here is one of me and the stag do (reported some pages back) with my local mates. This was about 2+ months ago so obviously i've added a lot more size now. Now i know you'd like some of me with the muscle guys, but we'll have to see...

http://epyontec.com/Marco/Photos/Social/scan0002.jpg

Take care all, and thanks for being supportive!

Marc

[hulkmuscle]

As someone currently dealing with a Mom with mental illness, my hat's off to you Marco. This has to be one of the hardest, if not the hardest things I've ever had to deal with. Luckily, I have a great support system behind me, cause I always thought you had to do things and figure out things yourself. I was always taught to rely on myself and to be independent (my father was a total alpha, and of course I learned by example).

My big lesson in all this was it's ok to ask for help when you need it, it's ok to lean on your friends and loved ones for support; don't consider that a sign of weakness, but rather a sign of strength that you can recognize you have a problem and wish to solve it and put it behind you, rather than wallow and suffer through it, or worse ignore it, which I (and my father) chose to do for a long time.

Luckily, my dad was not an abusive man. He was one of the kindest, most generous men I've ever known. He might be an intimidating figure, but he truly did things out of love, even when they weren't necessarily the right things to do. That's something I've tried to embody myself. This year for me, however, was a struggle between trying to keep my mom happy and keeping her safe, and because of her mental state, the two were most definitely at odds with one another, and that raised a tidal wave of anxiety in me. (If ever there was a time when you wish you could have just hulked out, this was it).

I just want you to know you're not alone in your sentiments. I know this group is primarily here for fun, but sometimes you can extract important life lessons from even the most mundane of sources. Maybe others can prosper from this as well. I can only hope so.

Good luck to you. I'm sure you'll succeed in whatever you put your mind to.

Now, let's get back to the gym. There's work to be done.

[ethernet_jock]

Given my limited time today Marc.... I'll keep this shorter than I would like and suggest only a couple things to you from a somewhat kindred soul..

* Find a way to let go of your anger. You don't have to forgive him, because that would be beyond ridiculous to expect... but anger will destroy you. You've made a hell of a way with yourself in all the right directions so far, don't let your anger get you down. It took me years to get over the desire to break him (my father)... my last encounter with him had been a fight in which I essentially won.... until many years later when my wife forced me to pickup a very basic line of communication with him that still exists albeit very weakly. Feel sorry for him - yes... be hurt by your experience and your lack of childhood love.... yes.... completely normal. But find a way to let go of your anger.... and continue to look to the future as you have already obviously learned to do so very well.

* Re-living childhood is one of the many ways in which I find the most valuable meaning of making my own children. I get to teach them everything RIGHT about things... and love them the way I was never loved... and enjoy childhood with them, as if I was one... from time to time. This may not be the way for you - but perhaps you've not thought of this as something to goal for in the distant (very distant) future? This can be done with a woman or a man in today's world and be equally fulfilling in the net. Think about it. It's the best healing process that can be had... and the greatest opportunity to change the world.

Thanks again for exposing your life, heart, and motivations to us. In spite of my feelings about your direction in weight lifting... I feel a bit closer to you now in understanding you than I ever have before.

[Marco_ukmus]

Hi All,

Post Responses

Originally Posted by ethernet_jock

* Find a way to let go of your anger. You don't have to forgive him, because that would be beyond ridiculous to expect... but anger will destroy you. You've made a hell of a way with yourself in all the right directions so far, don't let your anger get you down. It took me years to get over the desire to break him (my father)... my last encounter with him had been a fight in which I essentially won.... until many years later when my wife forced me to pickup a very basic line of communication with him that still exists albeit very weakly. Feel sorry for him - yes... be hurt by your experience and your lack of childhood love.... yes.... completely normal. But find a way to let go of your anger.... and continue to look to the future as you have already obviously learned to do so very well.

Honestly, even though it may come across as me still some how being caught up in it, i am truely over it. But one NEVER forgets these things, but one does learn to carry ong and make the very best of the rest of their life. The gym for me is something i can control, it gives me stability when everything else crumbles around me, and makes for the BEST stress relief there is. I swear they should prescribe workout at on the NHS lol

Originally Posted by ethernet_jock

* Re-living childhood is one of the many ways in which I find the most valuable meaning of making my own children. I get to teach them everything RIGHT about things... and love them the way I was never loved... and enjoy childhood with them, as if I was one... from time to time. This may not be the way for you - but perhaps you've not thought of this as something to goal for in the distant (very distant) future? This can be done with a woman or a man in today's world and be equally fulfilling in the net. Think about it. It's the best healing process that can be had... and the greatest opportunity to change the world.

Yep, I agree. Having your own kids of which you can make sure they are treated the way a loving parent should treat them i'm sure is VERY satisfying. I will one day like to have a family of my own, and like you, hope to treat them with the love and repect any child deserves.

Originally Posted by ethernet_jock

Thanks again for exposing your life, heart, and motivations to us. In spite of my feelings about your direction in weight lifting... I feel a bit closer to you now in understanding you than I ever have before.

Well, now you guys understand me a bit more. I'm glad you feel that way Chris.

Originally Posted by hulkmuscle

My big lesson in all this was it's ok to ask for help when you need it, it's ok to lean on your friends and loved ones for support; don't consider that a sign of weakness, but rather a sign of strength that you can recognize you have a problem and wish to solve it and put it behind you....

I completely agree. It's especially difficult for a man since, like you say, men are perceived as always having to stand on their own to feat and if they ask for someones help then they are weak. Like you say, that really is not the case. It is definetly a strength to be able to recognise when you need help.

Originally Posted by hulkmuscle

He might be an intimidating figure...

So he was a muscle monster like you then...

Originally Posted by hulkmuscle

(If ever there was a time when you wish you could have just hulked out, this was it).

Tell me about it! I can think of a number of occasion... if only i could have hulked out...

Originally Posted by hulkmuscle

I just want you to know you're not alone in your sentiments.

When i decided to post portions of my past here in an effort to explain where that drive comes from, i was under no illusion that others whom read this text would not have painful stories of their own. And I know that you guys in the main, share my morals.

Originally Posted by hulkmuscle

Maybe others can prosper from this as well. I can only hope so.

I'd sure like to think so.

Originally Posted by hulkmuscle

Now, let's get back to the gym. There's work to be done.

Yep, I completely agree. I think its time to move this thread back on topic again. It's getting kind of depressing lol.

Right well there's three weeks to go people before i release some more pics hopefully with noticable changes in muscle size... (should be, things are already bigger... )

Take care y'all!

Marc

[ottomun6]

Originally Posted by Marco_ukmus

...At the moment the doctors are not fully sure why she's in pain a lot of the time, so if they can correct it before 26th November or at the very least, make it less painful, then there is a slim chance we can go ahead as planned...

I really hope she can make it (we are rooting for her!) maybe she could try some "Tahitian Noni juice" from the health food store, it has helped ease most all of my aches and pains (that is if you have ever tried the natural remedy route)

Originally Posted by Marco_ukmus

Muscle Experiences continue...
Yesturday, I went into my local DIY store where i used to work a long time ago as a supervisor. Obviously a lot of the staff had changed naturally, since retail does have a high turn over of staff, but quite a few people i worked with ages ago were still there....

My god man, what were you? a 14 year old supervisor? (we tend to say "long time ago" and "ages ago" as in many years)

Originally Posted by Marco_ukmus

An Ironic reverse of roles
Ok, if any of you are a younger brother whom wants to get big, are bigger or wanna get bigger than your borther, your going to love this one; ..... Anyway, my mother quite rightly said "its not going to last long the rate your growing" which is true, but then she came up with this great idea which my brother was happy with, that of allowing me to use it until it no longer fitted and then passing down to my older brother to wear once i can no longer fit in it. lol! ...since my brother (38" chest) has always been bigger than me. NOT ANYMORE! I already have a bigger chest, larger shoulders, and bigger arms than him.

Yeah you're right, I chuckled all the way though your experience. I guess that will make him your "little" brother
I have an older brother, in fact he was buffed and muscular when I was a twig. Now he is thin (a runner) and I look big next to him.

[CanadianGordon]

Marco I'm gonna start ticking off the days till we get those new pictures..
You're making us all desperate here.. In a good way.
Karma to you for being such a good son. Though if my father were still around today I might deck him one for all the crapola he put me, my disabled brother and our mom through. (see my thread for details...)
It takes courage and guts to post semi-secrets from family life on the internet, with people who you don't really know..
But it sure answered a lot of questions about where your drive comes from.
I think I know already how you'd act if you ever run into him.
You'll be the better man, and won't initiate the fight...
He sounds like he'd be the dumbass and try to attack you first.
Big mistake. I think you'd just have to put him in a headlock and make him pass out... From those forearms and biceps. Please tell me you're measuring your muscles as you go along?
Anyways, keep up the good work.
Looking forward to reading more updates.. Which reminds me, I gotta shill my own thread here too... Updates over at my thread!!!!

[Marco_ukmus]

Yo fellow Muscle lovers!

Post Responses

Originally Posted by ottomun6

I really hope she can make it (we are rooting for her!) maybe she could try some "Tahitian Noni juice" from the health food store, it has helped ease most all of my aches and pains (that is if you have ever tried the natural remedy route)

Yeah, she got some tests coming up so hopefully we'll find out whats wrong and then we can start planning around it. I too hope for the best.

Originally Posted by ottomun6

My god man, what were you? a 14 year old supervisor? (we tend to say "long time ago" and "ages ago" as in many years)

hehe, no. I Must have been 16/17 years old when i started at the DIY store. Soon moved on to the special order desk and then on to information desk supervisor/team leader (18/19). This was all part-time during my college years when i studied electronic engineering. It's ironic really. In many ways working at the DIY store was one of the best things i have ever done. At the time my confidence in my teens was really really low, but working at a place where you have no choice but to confront people, speak to people and interact with them meant that my confidence began to grow over time. Yeah, it was shit pay, retail generally is unless you get into management, and even then its not that great. Very stressful job. As a supervisor i looked after all the check out staff and shop floor staff (typically about 15-20 staff members), making sure they went to their lunches and tea breaks on time and making so the multi skilled staff went to the board cutting and paint mixed machine when customers wanted it. Of course you do all this whilst dealing with complaints, questions, refunds, exchanges, special orders, answering phone calls, and anything else customers want. Also the supervisor was in charge of dealing with taynoy annousments and pin pointing staff to a given location if some customer decided to steal something or a fire alarms went off. The job had a lot of responsiblity but it was actually great fun in hindsight and very rewarding although extremely stressful a lot of the time.

Originally Posted by ottomun6

Yeah you're right, I chuckled all the way though your experience. I guess that will make him your "little" brother
I have an older brother, in fact he was buffed and muscular when I was a twig. Now he is thin (a runner) and I look big next to him.

Hehe, yeah, my older smaller brother... lol, mind you hes taller than me, but i have a bigger chest and larger muscles... Don't worry, i'll soon largen the gap even more lol

Originally Posted by CanadianGordon

Marco I'm gonna start ticking off the days till we get those new pictures..
You're making us all desperate here.. In a good way.

Well, dont wanna release any premature photos... got to add some decent size first. Like i say, shape is changing, added a bit of size, nothing dramatic thus far. But according to Mr P, it will come, just takes 3-4 weeks to get going. And we've just finished week 2 of the new stuff. So another 2-3 and you'll get those photos.

Originally Posted by CanadianGordon

Karma to you for being such a good son. Though if my father were still around today I might deck him one for all the crapola he put me, my disabled brother and our mom through. (see my thread for details...)

Humm there is trend here... I mean i know I said everyone has a story to tell, but that was more an assumption. I guess it really is true. To me it appears that all the regular contributers, hard driven guys here all appear to have had major events happen in their past. (you, hulk, Ether) and your just the guys that have opened up on threads. I'm sure there is many many more of us out there which have ended up body building too.

Originally Posted by CanadianGordon

It takes courage and guts to post semi-secrets from family life on the internet, with people who you don't really know..

Well, actually, although reluctent and probably boring everyone to death with it, its actually quite easy since, you guys don't know my full identity.

Originally Posted by CanadianGordon

I think I know already how you'd act if you ever run into him.
You'll be the better man, and won't initiate the fight...
He sounds like he'd be the dumbass and try to attack you first. Big mistake. I think you'd just have to put him in a headlock and make him pass out... From those forearms and biceps.

Yeah i think your right, I think my morals despite my feelings are too powerful and hence i would not touch him.... unless provoked Yeah, might be interesting seeing who would win now. Mind you, being that my dad is mental, and despite me likely being bigger than him, i think they are able to delve in to great strength and are able to block out pain.

Originally Posted by CanadianGordon

Please tell me you're measuring your muscles as you go along?

Yes i am. At the moment not too much is changing measurment wise. Although, measurements generally change very very slowly as you guys know anyway. The only mojor change i've noticed so far is in the size of my biceps, but obviously i can't give any details away right now.

Thanks guys for your posts. Right, got another 5ml injection tomorrow and then Partying at Orange (somewhere in london) this weekend, should be a laugh.

Marc

[MuscleMage]

Hmm, I have mixed feelings on this. I'm aching to morph someone on the forums, and it really is fun to morph you, Marc. But it would seem so useless if I attempted to morph your photos if you surpass them anyway. I mean, its totally wasted effort if you foil every one of my attempts to make you bigger than life. Nope, won't do at all.

Of course, I think I could stand to be a bit disappointed with my work if you did outgrow everything I did to your pictures.

And since it seems quite a few people read your topic, I'd like to take this oppurtunity to call for some pictures to morph.

[ottomun6]

Originally Posted by MuscleMage

Hmm, I have mixed feelings on this. I'm aching to morph someone on the forums, and it really is fun to morph you, Marc. But it would seem so useless if I attempted to morph your photos if you surpass them anyway. I mean, its totally wasted effort if you foil every one of my attempts to make you bigger than life. Nope, won't do at all.
Of course, I think I could stand to be a bit disappointed with my work if you did outgrow everything I did to your pictures.
And since it seems quite a few people read your topic, I'd like to take this oppurtunity to call for some pictures to morph.

Musclemage, I was thinking about the same thing : on one hand, it would be a real rush to see a morphed version of Marc. On the other hand, it may have us (at least in our minds) it could spoil it when we see the real pics. Decisions, decisions.

[Marco_ukmus]

Man you guys are eager for new pics arn't you

Post responses

Originally Posted by MuscleMage

I'm aching to morph someone on the forums, and it really is fun to morph you, Marc.

Ah thanks Man! I really appreciate you doing it. But when you say it fun to morph me, have you morphed more than one pic or just the one that you published here?

Originally Posted by MuscleMage

But it would seem so useless if I attempted to morph your photos if you surpass them anyway. I mean, its totally wasted effort if you foil every one of my attempts to make you bigger than life. Nope, won't do at all.

Hehe, well the way round this is to make them even bigger so i could not possibly catch up, lol

Originally Posted by MuscleMage

And since it seems quite a few people read your topic, I'd like to take this oppurtunity to call for some pictures to morph.

Well, i've just started week 3 of the roids and about to start the third part of the exercise regieme where by i go down to just 6 reps per set (4-6+ sets). With the roids and supplementation plan it is within the next 4 - 8 weeks that things should start growing and adapting quickly since with only 6 reps per set, the weights being used is about to go up a hell of a lot (as directed by the personal trainer).

Anyway, all you need to know is when the pics will come out. Basically, i'm going to do a photo shoot once I start the next batch of roids, thus 3 weeks, or if i start changing very quickly. So far I have not noticed much of a change so far as the way in which the body is looking, but then, we have to remember, I see this body day in day out and would not notice sutle changes. That's why i know you guys will be the best judges once i release the pics. Let's say 3 weeks until further notice. Say 24th September. Sorry to keep you guys hidden from the activity, just wanna have something worth showing.

Originally Posted by ottomun6

... on one hand, it would be a real rush to see a morphed version of Marc. On the other hand, it may have us (at least in our minds) it could spoil it when we see the real pics. Decisions, decisions.

Yeah I would not wanna spoil anything. I'll email you, MuscleMage, once the new photo's are taken, before i release anything on this thread, so that you can work your magic if you so choose to. I realise the more muscle i gain, the easier it will be for you to produce excellent morphs, so lets see what i can do. Of course, 'O' is also working his magic right now what with a excellent growth comic, but, whole knows how big i'll get!!

Cutting out the crap!
Well, just a quick update on whats going on; as you know, a while ago i reported that there was some early signs of gyno developing. Well, even though it has gone down a bit, it still is very sensitive and the lumps can still be felt under the nipples. Thankfully, one cannot notice anything by looking at me.
I had a conversation with my mother the other day after doing some research on what can be done about it and said I'm thinking about having the glands completely removed. Yes I know this sounds drastic, but, from a guy who would never of had surgury for anything unless life threatening before, I realise that once they are removed I won't have to worry about them growing bigger in the future as a result of roiding. I mean, I think its quite likely that i will continue to roid for quite some time yet until i reach my size goal, so I think having this done might be a good idea. In the Uk it would appear that 70% of men have gyno. This has been blamed on chemicals they put in the water supply as well as contraceptive pills. If your young and in not bad shape, the chances are the fat underneath the nipples will be compacted and will not pratrude the base of nipples. If your over weight the chances are, your nipples will pretrude to a varrying degree and can be very unsightly. At the moment, my pecs are VERY hard around the top, sides and middle, however, underneath the nipples is a different matter. There is a small amount of fat that preturdes the base of the nipples ever so slighty. Even though it is not severe, the chances are, if i continue to roid, they will pretrude more and more until they look like small brests. The only solution is to have them completely removed. Apparently the procedure only takes about an hour in the out patients, so, money being tight this year, next year, i am going to have the procedure done so that i can have completely hard pecs all the way around, and continue to roid with out that side effect creeping in. Obviously, having your glands completely removed is VERY popular amoung body builders and obviously lowering your body fat to a really low number would lesson the degree of gyno showing, unless you roid. Here is an interesting site for further info on it.

Coming up on the BB Thread
Right, tonight, im going clubbing in London, should be a laugh, usually is Anyway, if there is anything that is worth reporting and this is not too personal then i'll report it.

Well take care all! And if your in the UK, enjoy the bank holiday weekend!

Marc

[flexicon1]

Hey Marco.

Well, you're a little cut off in that photo of you and your mates, but what I can see is beefy and good lookin'! Count me among the many who look forward to seeing the improvements your cycle is bringing. Three weeks isn't too much to ask. I'm in this for the long haul, looking forward to watching you grow over the years ahead! Someday, I want to see those biceps flexxed in front of my worshipful face!

An incredible amount of writing on your part, keeping up with all of your feedback. One of the reasons I keep myself from responding more often to your posts is out of respect for the time you put in responding to every single reply you receive. I just wanted to thank you for sharing a slice of your family history. It really does provide an explanation for the source of your drive!

I've also got some heavy narcisism and mental health issues in my immediate family. My older sister was a diagnosed borderline personality, had lifelong challenges with dissociative disorder, anxiety attacks, alcohol abuse. She died two years ago. There's a lot of other issues in my family. My mentioning the narcisism was triggered by you describing your father as a "control freak". A few years ago, I saw the title of a book in a bookstore that just resonated for me so I bought it and read it. It was "If You Had Controlling Parents" by Dan Neuharth. You have stated that your work on this is behind you, but if you have any interest in learning the family dynamics behind your story, I highly encourage the read. It basically says: this is a system with identifyable componants, and understanding the system can provide incredible relief and space for forgiveness of all that previously made life hell. It was a revelation to me. I'd heard of narcisism, but didn't really understand it in the psychological sense until I read this book.

Even more intriguing: most narcisistic family systems program the personality disorder into anyone within the system. I definitely recognize aspects of it in myself, and clearly, bodybuilders, or people with eating disorders, and many other people who go to unusual lenths to control their own bodies, are reacting to families that tried to control them. I wouldn't be suprised if a majority of this site's visitors had aspects of the dynamic at work. These stories are all about control, and we're all getting off on them! (I'll recommend the book to anyone who thinks it sounds relevant for them.)

What to do with this information? I'm not sure yet. Just staying aware, observing the patterns, living life as a positive response. I think becoming strong, enhancing our self-esteem, and improving our health are great ways to control our bodies and our lives. The spirit survives in tremendous ways!

Back to the muscle-worship before I sign off: when you mentioned that the biggest measured difference on your body is in your biceps, and when you write about your muscles feeling harder, it made my cock swell.

Is this what the Pixies meant when they sang: "Your bone's got a little machine"?

Grow, Bro! Grow!

[Marco_ukmus]

Hi All,

Right, just an advanced warning, this is going to be a LONG post, why, because, my weekend was like OMG!

Before I start filling you in on the details, let?s start with the usual...

Post Responses

Originally Posted by flexicon1

Well, you're a little cut off in that photo of you and your mates, but what I can see is beefy and good lookin'!

Hey, thanks flex! Although, please remember, that pic was taken some time ago, so, things have moved on since then.

Originally Posted by flexicon1

I'm in this for the long haul, looking forward to watching you grow over the years ahead! Someday, I want to see those biceps flexed in front of my worshipful face!

Well, you should all know enough about me now to realise that I?m 100% dedicated to achieving this. I'm slowly coming up to ending my first year of body building. Yes that?s right, time has flown by! It only feels like a really short time ago that I joined this website and started this thread. And now, I?ll soon have one year under my belt!

I don't know how long I?ll continue to update this thread as I have done. I would imagine it would continue for quite some time to come (years hopefully). I partly feel committed to updating the thread due to the countless emails and PM's I?ve gotten from you guys, encouraging me to continue working hard in the gym, to keep reporting experiences and useful info here which appear to inspire so many of you.

Originally Posted by flexicon1

An incredible amount of writing on your part, keeping up with all of your feedback. One of the reasons I keep myself from responding more often to your posts is out of respect for the time you put in responding to every single reply you receive.

I really don't mind. Although I do realise my posts on this thread are getting longer and longer as a result. That?s one of the reasons why I started dividing the sections of my posts up with headers, so that the reader can skip sections if they don't wish to read them or don?t have the time. Like I?ve said it before, if you take the time to post to me, I WILL take the time to respond to you. Posts DO NOT have to be positive feedback (although, obviously we all like them), I do not mind being critiqued.

Originally Posted by flexicon1

I just wanted to thank you for sharing a slice of your family history. It really does provide an explanation for the source of your drive!

Well, now you know.

Originally Posted by flexicon1

I've also got some heavy narcissism and mental health issues in my immediate family...

I?m sorry to hear that. Like I have said before, it does not surprise me at all though. The more people that come forward, the more you realise how much mental illness and major family/life changing events have happened in peoples lives. Everyone really does have a story to tell... It's just we don't hear about it. People don't talk about it, and with good reason. Over and above the fact that it?s very personal, generally people don't want to know about these things. People just want to believe that we live in a great world where everyone is happy and everyone is nice to each other. Well, this view is ok if you?re a child, but as great as that may seem, its complete fantasy (obviously), one does have to be realistic. I know exactly what world we live in, and that certainly isn't it. We live in a world where people lie constantly just to make themselves look good (a foolish momentary gain), where people are violent to one another, selfish, careless, and cruel. Where people back stab in the work place, are two faced, where employers and management lie their heads off and put you down to achieve their own goals or to look good to their boss and we live in a world where people are sometimes out right evil! Of course, this rather depressing, but realistic view of this world, does not stop me from enjoying life, living my own dreams, achieving my goals and having fun. Thankfully, most people aren?t like that. One just has to bear in mind the bigger picture, and be sensible, but above all, live a full life, never live in regret (of course, easier said than done).

Originally Posted by flexicon1

It was "If You Had Controlling Parents" by Dan
Neuharth

Thanks for the book suggestion. I'll be sure to check that out.

Originally Posted by flexicon1

Even more intriguing: most narcissistic family systems program the personality disorder into anyone within the system. I definitely recognize aspects of it in myself, and clearly, bodybuilders, or people with eating disorders, and many other people who go to unusual lengths to control their own bodies, are reacting to families that tried to control them. I wouldn't be surprised if a majority of this site's visitors had aspects of the dynamic at work. These stories are all about control, and we're all getting off on them! (I'll recommend the book to anyone who thinks it sounds relevant for them.)

Now that is very interesting. Could my involvement into bodybuilding some how been encouraged by my past or up bringing?... interesting stuff...

Originally Posted by flexicon1

Just staying aware, observing the patterns, living life as a positive response. I think becoming strong, enhancing our self-esteem, and improving our health are great ways to control our bodies and our lives. The spirit survives in tremendous ways!

I completely agree. Like I say, there is ALWAYS something positive to be gained from a bad experience.

Originally Posted by flexicon1

when you mentioned that the biggest measured difference on your body is in your biceps, and when you write about your muscles feeling harder, it made my cock swell.

I seem to have that effect on a lot of people !

Originally Posted by flexicon1

Is this what the Pixies meant when they sang: "Your bone's got a little machine"?

No idea!

Thanks for your post as always Flex

Orange anyone?
Well, I guess this is the section of the update that you guys want to know about, that of course being, what happened at Orange... Well, a hell of a lot, let me tell you! Right, I got to Mr P's place around about 9:45pm on Sunday. Had some much needed food (thanks again), and then proceeded to the venue armed with a protein shake for Mr J whom was going to meet us there after work. This weekend at Orange was to be something special, so I was told in advance, since being that it was the bank holiday weekend, guys from all over the country and indeed all over Europe, were to come and party with us (and indeed they did). Mr P Thankfully got the tickets in advance, and was ?25 each due to it being a big popular evening. The queue to get in without tickets was massive. Orange is an event held in an old disused theatre named the "Fridge" in Brixton (London). Once In we met up with Mr J who was eagerly awaiting his protein shake. hehe. Well, these guys take this body building thing VERY seriously, as do I. The foyer had the usual dramatic look, draped fabric over the walls and ceiling with an ample dose of atmospheric lighting. Having been asked not to stand and chat in the foyer, we quickly moved on through a set of double doors into a large room. We got to Orange about 12 mid night since it pointless coming before hand with only a few people on the dance floor. Anyway, needless to say, it was very busy by now, completely buzzing with activity. People had already taken their shirts off. We slowly squeezed past people making our way to the bar. Don't worry, I did not have any alcohol (don?t know how I survived lol). I survived on lucozade, water and red bull. The drinks, like with all these clubs, are soooooo expensive, like ?2.5 for a lucozade, or 2 pound for a 250-300ml water. Still, once you have a bottle, one can simply refill it in the toilets. Ok, so Mr P shows me around the place whilst introducing me to more of his mates. At this point, Mr P and Mr J removed their t-shirts, I removed mine. I was wearing my usual tight jeans and black trainers with my tight white muscle vest with my green animal t-shirt on top. I removed my green t-shirt and tucked one end of it behind me into my jeans (saves on money, not having to leave it with the coat room staff - a common thing most guys do). Anyway I was standing there in my tight muscle vest which really emphasizes my shoulders and 'V' shape (hence the reason I wear it). Needless to say, I was soon asked to remove it like the other guys, so I proceeded to remove it and tucked that away too. There was all sorts of guys, in all sorts of shapes and sizes, and all sorts of ages. The ironic thing that I find about clubbing with muscle, is that age is particularly irrelevant. And muscle tends to make one look younger as a whole. Like, Mr P is 50, but, like I?ve said to him before, he sooooo no way looks it. His body and looks screams an age MUCH younger than that (I said late thirties when I first met him). Obviously, its also how you act too, your confidence and how you carry yourself and interact with others. I had noticed actually that there were hardly any like really young guys there. Most guys appeared to be around early thirties to late forties. Mr P introduced me to one guy, forgot his name, he is a lecturer at some University in London (I think), very nice guy, not muscled at all, but he is 64 though. It's truly amazing the rang of people you meet at these places. Not so long ago, when I disliked clubbing, I thought it was only boring wasters that went. I don?t think I could have been any further from the truth. Although, I recon that is a common perception, these guys are intelligent, in the main, well educated, have good careers, of course into muscle, but just great interesting friendly like minded people. Anyway, Whilst this was going on, behind me I saw the main area. Huge circle forming the main dance floor, which by now was completely filled with sweaty pumped bodies moving to the beat of the music. At the front, a stage could be seen, which too had lots of guys enjoying themselves. The main dance area had a very high ceiling being that it used to be a theatre, complete with balconies and boxes. The place was kitted out well with a fancy lighting system (strobes, lazers gobo's etc), lots of large projection screens projecting weird and wonderful animations and videos, and atmospheric effects (pyrotechnics, smoke machines, and a bubble machine). Anyway, so we move on through the crowd of muscle guys, some big, some just defined, some with good shape, some just bulky, some good looking, most not, some looking just weird. Ironically, who should I meet next but the guy who sponsored me. Hehe. He had a man in toe and looked to be enjoying himself. He said he thought I was looking bigger since he last saw me. After some more introductions we finally move down from the bar area onto the dance floor and begin to dance away. Literally within a few moments this guy turns up and starts feeling my legs. He kept saying I?m a leg man myself to me and apparently Mr P had told him to feel mine since he knew he was into legs lol and he knows that my legs are very developed, thick and hard. Anyway, so this guy, Asian in descendant, about the same height as me, late twenties/early thirties, average body and looks, nothing special, starts feeling my thighs and claves up and down as I flex them for him with him knelt down in front of me in the middle of the dance floor. lol. We must have only been in there about 45mins/1 hour, and this happens already lol. Anyway, so he grabbed me by the arm clearly excited about what he felt and leads me off to the toilets. As we approach one could see that the toilets are busy with people queuing outside the room door. We steam past to near the front of the queue, jumping it (not something I usually do). As soon as a cubical became free he led me straight in there closing the door behind him. On the way to the cubical I was thinking, oh, here we go again, hope this guy does not want sex or anything. Thankfully he did say all that he wanted to do was feel my legs. Anyway, so there we are, in the cubical, with him seated on the toilet seat and me standing up facing him against the cubical door, he asked me to take my jeans off so that he can feel the legs up close and personal. I thought ok, no problem (love being worshipped - don't we all! ) So I start to un button my jeans as he says "No, I?ll do it, you can put them back on". I thought, ok. So he precedes to un-zip my zipper and pulled my jeans down to my ankles, then proceeds to feel my legs up and down as I flex them as hard as I can. After worshipping the front, he turns me around to worship the hamstrings and the back of the calves with my body pushed up against the door. Clearly he was enjoying this a lot since he was making funny noises as he proceeded to worship me, coupled with an erect bulge in his underwear. We terminated the worship session there after receiving numerous comments about my legs. Glad he liked it lol! Anyway, so I return to the dance floor in search of my new found friends. Mr P had wondered where I got to lol. Anyway, so we continue dancing, and he shows me around the rest of the place, introducing me to allt he guys he knew which incidentally were all large body builders. We went up on stage and up around the balcony where Junior was trying to sleep on one of the sofa's with some guy he had picked up. He really is a mad having been working all day and still coming clubbing and having to go and work again on Monday semi easier as I recall. Crazy! He totally loves the clubbing scene though! And is a dedicated body builder with immense love for muscle like all of his friends. Of course, we all got the usual glances and stares from other guys, me included. Back down stairs we met up with Mr M (arguably the most largest and muscled guy in the place, and his boy friend, Mr S). Found out more about Mr S, who apparently is a manager for a software company. Mr S is actually quite big, although not as big as Mr M. I have seen these guys out clubbing before. Saw them first time in Crash (Vauxhall) some months ago and again at Ruby. They seem to go out clubbing quite a bit I think. Anyway, Mr S said he thinks I looked a little bit bigger since last time he saw me. Mr S seemed really interested in me and what I was on cycle wise etc. All these guys just love talking about all aspects of muscle, obviously, roids included. Anyway, [I'll try to condense this story a bit] we move off around the place meeting more and more guys. It?s really funny actually. A lot of guys wondered how old I was. I think my face has obviously changed a bit since most guys seem to think I?m in my early twenties (22,23 etc). Quite a few actually placed me correctly at 24. I was kind of hoping to keep my really young looking face that before hand got people thinking I was 20 or less, but I guess the roids will change that. Just hope it does not change my face too much, or at least if it does, i hope it makes me look better than i do now. Anyway, so this went on, met more and more guys, all of which were older than me, and most of which I can't remember their names (you know how it is). Must have been introduced to like 15+ people. Then of course, there?s the guys that just came up and introduced themselves and started touching me. It's funny, I?ve said this before, but it really is true, all the guys with the biggest muscle bound bodies seem to flock together. I can't even begin to tell you how much fun it is to be apart of this group! I met one guy on the dance floor, mid forties, ok body, not huge at all, he was a teacher who taught drama and English at some high school. It really makes you think whilst your out in everyday life, what people get up to on their weekends having met these guys with respected careers. Doctors, professors, lecturers, managers, engineers, you name it, muscle touches people from all walks of life, from all ages. Ok, so it?s got to be about 7-8am by now. I can't believe I had been up for that long! Mr J had left hours ago with his guy since he needed to grab some sleep before working again today (today being that it was now Monday). Anyway, after a while it became apparent that that people were starting to leave since one was able to walk between rooms and places much easier than before. Orange had to be the best club I have EVER been to so far. So much muscle there, so many muscle loving guys. Of course, I ended up having two muscle worship sessions in that club that night!

Fire!
At about 8am ish, we left. Mr P wanted to checkout another club "fire" before heading home (a much smaller venue, mixed club). Its quite normal for clubbers to go onto another venue after a main event. I was like, ok, although felt somewhat ready to collapse in a heap on the floor.
We arrived in Vauxhall, parked the car and even at 8.15am, there was a bloody queue to get in. crazy! We must have been waiting about 30 mins outside before getting in. The bouncers were being an ass and not letting people in. Anyway, So we eventually get in, 20 quid for entry! so I thought, well now we are here we had better stay and make the most of it. There were two dance floors. It was fairly easy to spot which room had mainly gay people in it, and which one was for the straight guys. The major difference being that the straight room had guys with un-developed bodies and guys mainly kept their shirts on. Anyway, we hovered between the two rooms. Mr P was the largest guy there by a long shot. There were hardly any developed bodies around. Even in the predominately gay room, I thought I looked big and more developed than a hell of a lot of them lol. Obviously, there were some muscle guys around but not nearly as much as Orange. We stayed there a few hours I as I recall. Met a few guys there. One that was clearly was very interested in me. Not a bad body either. Its quite ironic actually. It seems a rare thing to see a guy with everything, someone whom is young, has a good proportional shape, whom is muscled, good looking and that has a good personality. Just hope I'll be one of those few. (still working on the body). Anyway, so we left near enough 12pm. Can?t believe I had been dancing whatnot for 12 hours!!!! Previously, I have done like 6-7 hours, but this was one hell of a night! Obviously, a hell lot more happened that night which I?m not really prepared to divulge, but I think you get the idea that it was one hot night! (in more ways than one ). And before you even think it, no i did not have sex (in any form). But, you don't have to have sex to have fun. In many ways, having others appreciate your body is much more satisfying and lasts much longer.
End of Post
Well guys, all I can say is, I suggest wherever you guys are in the world that you consider trying one of the clubs here some time. Obviously, If you want muscle, then you?ll have to find out where the muscle is flocking to, but trust me, you?ll simply love it, and it really is worth experiencing at least once! It does not matter how old you are, or what you look like, you?ll still enjoy the experience. Obviously, if you do have muscle, then you?ll enjoy it all that much more

Take care guys!

Marc

[Crunch_Atlanta]

That is one helluva story, Marc! You are such a tease, too. You have to tell us more!

This is my first post. I just discovered this board and I'm really into it. Gets me so psyced to workout harder. Shoulders tonight...yeah!

[ottomun6]

WOW!
Marc, you are on one hell of a ride!!
I'm just sitting here grinning ear to ear for ya!
I can already guess what you look like when you are showing off those broad shoulders and beefed up quads. I knew a kid about your height several years ago
that couldn't help but to turn heads.
There is something almost intoxicating about having that big shoulder-
small waist -big quads look.
I still wonder about that guy to this day. (come to think of it he was a super-driven guy too: engineering, top of his class, etc..) If you guys should bump into each other, you may as well start picking out china patterns

[UKBeefy]

Also obviously Marc such clubs only really work if you are on dance drugs. I can't believe people can dance till 10am without them.


One of the disappointing things to me on the scene is the spread and spread of drug taking in clubs. It does mean for those of us not taking pills you get very little chance to have a sensible conversation with anyone, even in not particularly hard venues....

Still each to their own....

[Marco_ukmus]

Hey,

Post Responses

Crunch_Atlanta
Hehe, thanks! and Welcome to the board! Yeah, this is what really inspires me to push harder than ever. I started out just wanting to be a little bit bigger, then people started noticing me and i started getting attension. Now every club i go to wide things seem to happen, thus i'm soooo addicted to getting bigger. Hope your shoulder workout went well. Im in dia need to get my rear delts bigger. Will kill those tomorrow.

ottomun6
Hehe, I know, the thing is i don't think this ride has peaked yet, everything just keeps getting more intense. Just hope it continues to intensify as i grow bigger. I'm sure it will do.
yeah, I'm sure go for the big shoulders - small waist - big quad look. Being that i'm not sure which side of the fence im on, I don't think i'll be picking china patterns just yet if i met the guy you were talking about.
Ironically, it does not surprise me that the guy you were talking about was an engineer and top of his class since in many ways, guys whom are highly driven in all aspects will of course push themselves hard in the gym as well and reap the results. Thats why its interesting meeting these guys at the clubs and finding out what they do. honestly, these guys all have great careers.

UkBeefy
I guess it is sad, what with the drugs. Mind you, I can't say i've had any problems my self with not being able to have a decent conversation with guys in the clubs. Anyway, lets face it, the music is so dame loud, half the time you can only just make out what they said. I however remember in Ruby there was this like, no hoper guy hanging around us... or trying to... He was trying to chat me up, so being the nice guy i am, I entertained him for a second (i'm never rude), anyway so he asked the usual questions, whats you name and what i did for a living. So i told him. Literally within two minuets he had asked the very same questions. So, I repeated it without questioning it since maybe he did not hear me and was asking for clarification. Then he asked again, at which point i was getting a bit pissed off, and told him i had already told you twice, at which point i moved swiftly on. He was obviously so out of his head. There's no denying it, a lot of the guys that go there are. But a lot of them are also very intelligible, like the group i mainly hang out with.

Marc

[onelocolobo]

I feel like some of you may need a reminder about the side effects of steroid use. I'm sure it won't change any of your minds and you seemingly have "done the research" but I think you overlook the bad side effects and how they'll effect you in the long run. I'm sure you know that steroids cause decreased size of testicles. They also cause reduction in sperm count and possible infertility. Team this with tamoxifen which causes infertility in men and you may never have children. All fine and dandy if you don't want children but many of you are young and probably haven't even considered that long term yet. Tamoxifen only decreases the estrogen effects in the breast tissue. In other areas of the body it increases estrogen effects (just think what it could be doing to your testicles on top of the steroids). And you can't possibly have done enough research to be putting the two drugs together because there are absolutely NO studies done that combines these two drugs in humans considering one is a medication for animals. You can't possibly know the long term effects. Maybe you like being guinea pigs. I don't mean to cause trouble but I just wonder if you all forget the long term in your attempt at the perfect exterior.

[Marco_ukmus]

Originally Posted by onelocolobo

I don't mean to cause trouble but I just wonder if you all forget the long term in your attempt at the perfect exterior

Its arguably very easy to forget about the side effects knwoing that your going to gain muscle mass faster by using them. But i can really understand where you are coming from. These things should not be taken lightly.

Originally Posted by onelocolobo

I'm sure you know that steroids cause decreased size of testicles.

The shrinkage of the testicles is thankfully only a tempory side effect. The testicales shinkage is due to the body trying to stabalize the amount of test int he system. Thus by cutting the natural production off, (causing a shrinkage in the testicales) the body hopes to ring the test levels back down to normal. Within about 4 weeks or so the body will kick the natural test back into full production hence the testicales will by then return to their normal size.

Originally Posted by onelocolobo

They also cause reduction in sperm count and possible infertility. Team this with tamoxifen which causes infertility in men and you may never have children. All fine and dandy if you don't want children but many of you are young and probably haven't even considered that long term yet. Tamoxifen only decreases the estrogen effects in the breast tissue. In other areas of the body it increases estrogen effects (just think what it could be doing to your testicles on top of the steroids).

Yeah, I actually would like to raise a family in the future of my own. But hopefully, by using the advice i have gained and read, I will be able to have the best of both worlds.

Originally Posted by onelocolobo

And you can't possibly have done enough research to be putting the two drugs together because there are absolutely NO studies done that combines these two drugs in humans considering one is a medication for animals.

Well, unfortunately, everything in the world is relative. So "enough research" must be therefore relative to something... In many ways, one can NEVER do enough research on something like this that, as you put it, is not only exceptionally risky, but also runs the risk of becoming infertile and/or damaging interal organs in the long term. Like i have said before, i think in my own mind, i have done enough research and have the right contacts with knowledge to be able to say, ok, i know im taking a risk, but im using them sensibly in a bid to gain the best of both worlds. I think i can achieve it.

Originally Posted by onelocolobo

You can't possibly know the long term effects.

Yep, your absolutely right. I don't. We can only watch the effects of other body builders that have been roiding for years and draw our own conclusions.

Thanks for your comments. Personally, they have been noted, but you already know im going to continue never-the-less. I want to be huge!

Still, I have decided a few days ago to go and see my doctor have some tests run just to check out by blood levels, liver, kidneys and anything else worth checking. Obviously i run the risk of her informing my parents, but i actually dont think she'd do it considering im like 24 and therefore an adult, thus she'd be breaking a whole load of confidentuality and data protection acts.

So, thats next week!

Marc

[Corwin]

Originally Posted by onelocolobo

I don't mean to cause trouble but I just wonder if you all forget the long term in your attempt at the perfect exterior.

This is Marc's log, not a general discussion of people's steroid use, so I find your use of the plural ill-advised.

As you say, Marc has done the research and knows the short term side effects. I've always wondered whether anyone under 30 ever thinks of non-immediate side effects, but that too is beside the point. Marc seems to have found people with knowledge in this area. He seems grounded well enough to find the necessary information and make his own decisions. It is his life and if he is comfortable with his knowledge level and if this will make him happy, that's good enough for me.

[ottomun6]

Originally Posted by onelocolobo

I feel like some of you may need a reminder about the side effects of steroid use.....

This has been going around in circles:
The intimate details of a bodybuilder, followed by the warnings of steroid usage, followed by a very gracious -I hear you, and thanks for your input-
Corwin has a very good point that this is a personal thread. If brow-beating the world of steroid usage is needed, maybe it would be a better idea to start a new thread.
I think we all are a bit leary about steroids, but at the same time, we all have fairly extensive collections of steroid-built bodybuilders. We all love looking at the big muscle guys (c'mon, don't deny it )and that's what this whole website is based on.
Markus, you really are a very polite guy. (I can tell by your responses to the criticizm) Go ahead and get big, we will be there to root you on. Just keep that good common sense of yours fired up.

[Marco_ukmus]

Hi All.

Post Responses

Originally Posted by Corwin

...It is his life and if he is comfortable with his knowledge level and if this will make him happy, that's good enough for me.

Thanks Corwin for your support and intervention.

Originally Posted by ottomun6

This has been going around in circles:
The intimate details of a bodybuilder, followed by the warnings of steroid usage, followed by a very gracious -I hear you, and thanks for your input-.

Yeah, sorry. Should not have entertained the comment, like you say, we have covered the opinions of steroid use before (some pages back). But you know me, I like to respond to all.

Originally Posted by ottomun6

Corwin has a very good point that this is a personal thread. If brow-beating the world of steroid usage is needed, maybe it would be a better idea to start a new thread.

Yeah, I was going to suggest to onelocolobo that a global reminder of which you stated should indeed be raise in another thread not on this one. To be honest, I don't actually think any one needs a reminder, you know that i'm more than aware what im doing to this body.

Originally Posted by ottomun6

Markus, you really are a very polite guy. (I can tell by your responses to the criticizm) Go ahead and get big, we will be there to root you on. Just keep that good common sense of yours fired up.

Thanks mate! Too polite for my own good some times. But I personally think thats better than the opposite. But, just because i'm polite does not mean i'm a push over... I do have a firery side

I'm Growing Stronger...
Well, the strength seems to be doing really well right now. Here's a sample...

Squats - 120kg (264lbs)
Leg Press - 280kg (616lbs)
Bench Press - 90kg (198lbs)
Incline DB Press - 68kg (150lbs) (34kg [75lbs] per dumbbell)
Dumbbell Fly - 44kg (100lbs) (22kg [48.4lbs] per dumbbell)

Really starting to push myself on the bench press now. Wanna try and get it up to 100kg (220lbs) as soon as possible. Considering I was bench like quite a bit less only 3-4 weeks ago, I'm sure i'll make it.
Strength wise the legs are going mad! A few weeks ago i was squatting 80kg, now its up to 120kg, which as my trainer told me, is much more than he can squat, and his really built, mind you, he is a rugby player.
Ages ago i reported leg pressing 360kg (792), which as Brian (UKBeefy) pointed out when we met, it was not exactly in the correct form, more like partials. Well, I can assure you all the exercises i'm doing now is with the correct form, and the leg presses performed deep and with full motion. So 616lbs is not too bad, should be back up to near 800lbs soon enough given how the strength is rapidly increasing, and its all with out test, and i hope to start injecting that again in about 2 ish weeks.

Marc

[massingUP]

Marc,

Congrats on the new strength -- the gains are impressive! -- and glad to hear you're going nice and DEEP on the leg presses now. There's nothing more impressive than watching a guy really master deep, heavy leg work.

Good luck on the continued growth this time 'round and, as always, be sure to keep us all informed! <g>

- J.

[UKBeefy]

Hi Marc,

Impressive weights there. Would be helpful if you could list the reps too as I get very confused by what people claim to shift when some mean a one rep "going mad" max out and others a normal workout 6 rep set.

[UKBeefy]

Like you I saw a big gain in strength when on my cycle. Now 3 weeks or so into my off my strength has gone down a bit but am pleased that I am keeping about 75% of my gains or so (204-223 and now 218).

[jco2007]

Marco
Your gains are cool, when you post your long awaited pics, don't skimp on those legs that have been worshipped and have since experienced further gains. Your previous pics only fleetingly displayed them.

thanks for the update, well done on your progress to date.

Just think we've not seen the latest pictures, prepare yourself for the outpouring of congratulations. Its well deserved you've earned it.

[Corwin]

Originally Posted by Marco_ukmus

I'm Growing Stronger...
Well, the strength seems to be doing really well right now. Here's a sample...

Squats - 120kg (264lbs)
Leg Press - 280kg (616lbs)
Bench Press - 90kg (198lbs)
Incline DB Press - 68kg (150lbs) (34kg [75lbs] per dumbbell)
Dumbbell Fly - 44kg (100lbs) (22kg [48.4lbs] per dumbbell)

Really starting to push myself on the bench press now. Wanna try and get it up to 100kg (220lbs) as soon as possible. Considering I was bench like quite a bit less only 3-4 weeks ago, I'm sure i'll make it.
Strength wise the legs are going mad! A few weeks ago i was squatting 80kg, now its up to 120kg, which as my trainer told me, is much more than he can squat, and his really built, mind you, he is a rugby player.
Ages ago i reported leg pressing 360kg (792), which as Brian (UKBeefy) pointed out when we met, it was not exactly in the correct form, more like partials. Well, I can assure you all the exercises i'm doing now is with the correct form, and the leg presses performed deep and with full motion. So 616lbs is not too bad, should be back up to near 800lbs soon enough given how the strength is rapidly increasing, and its all with out test, and i hope to start injecting that again in about 2 ish weeks.

way to go big guy.

[Marco_ukmus]

Wow thanks guys! And all these motivating comments and I have not even posted any pics yet! I'm sooo motivated right now!

Post Responses

Originally Posted by massingUP

There's nothing more impressive than watching a guy really master deep, heavy leg work.

I already get stares when i'm doing it... it's a REALLLL ego boost, hence working my legs, although it's like the worst day for every body builder pain wise, it's also the day in which i lift/move the most amount of wait and thus get the most glances! hehe

Originally Posted by massingUP

Good luck on the continued growth this time 'round and, as always, be sure to keep us all informed!

Thanks mate! And same to you. You already know i'll keep you guys informed!

Originally Posted by UKBeefy

Would be helpful if you could list the reps too as I get very confused by what people claim to shift when some mean a one rep "going mad" max out and others a normal workout 6 rep set.

All the weights listed previously are sets of 6-8 reps completed in 4-8 sets. I would not bother to inform you of my one rep max, partly because i've never tried them and secondly don't see the point since it won't help with bulking right now. Although, i might do it at some stage just for curiosity sake.

Originally Posted by UKBeefy

Like you I saw a big gain in strength when on my cycle. Now 3 weeks or so into my off my strength has gone down a bit but am pleased that I am keeping about 75% of my gains or so (204-223 and now 218).

Well thats good news then, if you kept 75% of your gains, thats simply excellent, makes the process worth it.

Originally Posted by jco2007

when you post your long awaited pics, don't skimp on those legs that have been worshipped and have since experienced further gains.

Don't worry, i'll show you guys They are arguably my best asset at the moment, mind you other things are moving along very well at the moment, like my back and arms.

Sneak Preview
Ok, i've relented for one pic only. Yes, you know i've been taking pics, and monitoring the progress. With just under 20 days to go before I post the next major update, i thought i'd show you one pic of my current state.

Here's the url: http://epyontec.com/Marco/Phase5_SneakPeak.jpg

I think my back is developing quite well at the moment, hell, it does not have much choice what with me lifting 120kg (264lbs) on my shoulders for 6-8 reps, 4-8 sets.

Enjoy! And thanks again for all the VERY motivating comments!

Marc